August 30, 2019

Narcey returns, weigh in PLEASE on how to respond!

I had more of the Vancouver chronicles set to publish this morning, but this just cropped up so I am poking this newsie bit into my lineup.  I am interested in your input, so please vote for an option in my comments:  

First of all, if you have not read about the Narcey nightmare from last winter please check it out here, and here, and here.  (There are tons of posts about this whack-job, but you can do a search for Narcey on my blog and find them).  Or if you aren't interested in reading more, I will summarize.

I babysat for Narcey's kids.  The mom was a big fan.  Mid November she asked me if I preferred am or pm preschool for her triplets the next year.  The VERY next week, there was a misunderstanding.  My kids were cold at the kitchen table, because she was standing in my garage dealing with a 4 yr old meltdown and she left the door open.  I closed the door while saying:  'Just going keep this closed.'  It is a heavy door.  She thought I slammed it.  I told her not my intention.  I don't do anything slowly in the morning.  Duh. 

She lost her shit in my kitchen.  Shouted at me.  Coach used her fit as a teaching moment.  'See kids, this is what selfish look like.  All 'I' statements.'  She quit my in-home daycare a week later.  I babysit for teachers and could not replace them for the remainder of the school year.  Narcey (her blog nickname because she is a narcissistic crazy person) faked that her husband got a promotion and cited new work hours as the reason that they left.  And if that is the case, then why the text message from last night.   

My favorite part of this story:  Ed followed the dad to his car on their last day (gave me an hour notice for, asked that I have all 4 car seats and other stuff gathered at the door).  Ed told him that his mother (ME!) took great care of his kids and that he hoped they showed a little appreciation at their next stop.  BTW the other moms I sit for felt very uncomfortable when they heard this dad lose his temper with his young kiddos regularly on my driveway at pickup.  The dad spun around and told Ed that they were leaving because I was violent.  Me!  Closing the door was violent?  Seriously!

Last night Narcey texted me THIS message below:

My possible responses:  

1.  not text back.  Narcissistic people are icky, crazy people (my sister was married to one) and they will stop at nothing to prove that everyone should believe that they are the almighty.  

2.  text back the first paragraph only (see below) of this lengthy venting text 
that I drafted.  I shared the venting text with Coach and I told Mini (who thinks I should send the whole venting text) that Daddy would just say '1st paragraph only' and when he texted me that exact thing back, she died laughing.  

3.  text back the entire venting text that I drafted.  My issue is that I never got closure.  I never got to stick up for myself outside of texting her and saying: 'Hey, that door closing this morning was not intended as a slam.'  I like closure.   And now she has opened the door (get it - considering this is all over a door closing!) and I feel like I have my chance to share my frustration with her.

4.  text back something in between of the 1st paragraph and the entire venting text.

5.  text back the first paragraph of the venting text and the words 'Sometimes the truth hurts.'  

I have witnesses to her unwarranted outburst.  Coach and my 3 high school kids were shocked by her reaction.  The families I sit for now and those that have moved on for logistical reasons think I am the bomb.  

I am friends with some of the teachers in our district and some of the young families because Mini babysits for them.  I KNOW PEOPLE, and I am not shy.  She seriously was off her rocker last year and it cost me a bundle, and she lied about why they were leaving.  If the promotion was not a lie, then why is she uncomfortable about answering why they left?

Last year, Coach just kept shrugging and saying, 'Yeah, but you dodged a bullet.  You did not want to deal with her for the rest of the year.'

See below for remainder of venting text, then please tell me what you think I should do.  (this next one:  part 2 is supposed to start with 'a week before thanksgiving' but it cut off)
part 2

Part 3
part 5


Marie Smith said...

#1 is my choice. You’ve recovered. She’s owns the problem.

Gigi said...

Ignore it. I know that you want to get your say in but it wouldn't do anything but stir up more drama.

Cheryl said...

Hmmm....I'm with Gigi. Ignore her. It's almost as if she is trying to get a rise out of you. When they go low you...go high.

If you do feel the need to rip her a new one, call her, don't text.

Sometimes the written word can be turned against you. She strikes me as the type of person who would use your text(s) against you. If you don't write anything, than she can't do that.

Like the famous Judge Marilyn Millian on The People's Court always says..."say it forget it...write it regret it".

Kari said...

Do. Not. Respond. You won't win with a narcissist. TRUST ME ON THIS.
Also, I AM a door slammer, so I will slam all of the doors this week in honor of you and this icky woman.

Nicole MacPherson said...

Wow, what a nutjob. I guess the right thing to do is ignore, since there is nothing a person hates more than that. I would be tempted to vent but honestly, it's probably best to hold your head high and take the dignified route.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'd either NOT respond or go with your short and straight to the point text. No need to bring her back into an argument because you know you'll never win with someone like that. Sorry I'm so late. I thought I had a hurricane to prep for. :)

Wendy said...

You'll never convince her of the truth, no matter what you say -- she's a nutjob. I would completely ignore her text. It will drive her CRAZY and it will give you the upper hand. Win win!

M.L. James said...

And the winner of this contest is YOU! Because the crazy lady doesn't deserve any more of your time and attention and she's gone from your life. Good riddance! My Mom used to say, "Leave it up to God. He'll take care of people like that." It's scary to think, but Mom was always right. It's hard, but you are a busy woman. You don't owe her the time of day, let alone any text to acknowledge her one way or the other. I'd block her calls on your phone just in case she tries to engage you again. Then get on with the other million and one things you've got to get done! Anyway, that's my two cents. Hope this gnat goes completely away from your life! Also, people who know you and who know her, will figure all of this out for themselves without your having to say anything about it. If asked, the stock response is, "You can't please everyone, but I've moved on." Then change the subject. Mona

Ernie said...

Well, it seems to be unanimous. I will ignore. I know so many more people in the small community that she refers to and many of them already know the story, because it was SO OUT THERE. I hope people continue to approach her and say, 'hey, didn't Ernie babysit for your kids?' That makes me smile. 'That is my preference.' I lost a lot of potential income last year when I could not fill the spots that I gave her, and I do not work for her anymore. Her preferences matter little to me.

Thanks so much everyone for your feedback - very much appreciated!

Beth Cotell said...

Well, darn it! I'm late to this party! I'm glad you took the high road. You and everyone else knows the truth so ignoring her is the best thing!! Hopefully all the families you work for this year are wonderful!

Ernie said...

Oh Beth, I have quite the story ALREADY about a family from this year. I will post it after my Vancouver stories are complete. Hoping people are not getting bored with it. You are never late- always value your opinion. Narcey is a nut. For sure. Like did she forget thst she told me her hubby got a promotion and that's why they left? Now acting like a hidden bad babtsitting secret might escape into our small community. Whatever!