is this cause for alarm? & so much hacking, but no one is coughing

You know how test results arrive in your 'my chart' or whatever, before the doctor gets a chance to 'splain it? Raise your hand if you think that's fun.

Believe it or not, I did not panic despite a 'cyst' mention. Well, part of me did, but fortunately my sensible side prevailed. I didn't visit Dr. Google. Pituitary, isn't that growth? He's almost 6' 3". I requested someone explain the test results. The doctor called me later that night. He's awesome. 

Normal MRI. Many people have these cysts. Nothing to be concerned about. Part of me hoped this tiny cyst could be removed and then he'd get his memory back and maybe even be seizure free. If I'm not the eternal optimist, then I don't know who is. 

Next step:  trying ADHD med. We tried that when he first started having issues in junior high. He hadn't yet been diagnosed with epilepsy. The meds didn't help him pay attention, but maybe now that he's on antiseizure meds this will help him attend enough that his verbal memory will improve. One can hope. 

*****

My FB account was hacked two weekends in a row. Both weekends, I happened to be in Texas. Coincidence? I assume so. I don't get the reason someone would hack my FB. The 2nd time, they managed to add their email address. There was some awful glitchy loop where I selected to delete the other email, but it never deleted-  just directed me back to the same spot. Thus, loop. 

The mystery guest, posing as me, posted a braggadocios post about how I'd just earned a trading certificate, or something. I was in the top tier. Go, me. I don't understand how the scammer makes money on this. Before I could take the post down, friends who I don't see very often were congratulating me. 

Me:  sorry to disappoint. I'm not earning certificates in my spare time. If I had time to spare, that isn't what I'd do with it.

Monday morning I started getting messages from people about a Punchbowl invite I sent them. So next up in the hacked department:  my email. I'd gotten the same email from Mary Ann (nutty across the street neighbor who I was pretty damn sure was not inviting me to anything) a few weeks ago. I was telling another parent about all the hacking at Reg's volleyball game last night. A moment later a mom walked up and said, "Hey Ernie, did you send me a Punchbowl invite?" The other couple doubled over. I was like, "Exhibit A."

And THEN:  I was in Texas for b-ball, the parents mentioned our upcoming trip to Oklahoma City. I'd gotten a text from the mom who organizes our travel details weeks ago. I was busy. Maybe we were walking into court? Maybe I was about to chat with the neurologist? Don't recall. But I put the flight on the backburner, and now my back burner isn't what it once was. I forgot . . . now, I need to spend our life savings to afford a flight home. I got us on a flight there, so I've got that going for me.

I decided to try frequent flyer miles. I have a Citi card Mastercard (shit, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that, please don't hack my card). We get miles when we spend. Between groceries and gas, we will soon be able to fly around the world three times. I've been known to hoard my FF miles. Who am I kidding? I'm not going anywhere, except for basketball tournaments. I tried to use FF miles to fly to Europe to visit a study abroad kid in the past, but the fees meant it made more sense to just buy a ticket. 

Anywho - I couldn't get into my account. I was pretty confident I knew my password. I called American Airlines. They put me through all the security questions:  Which friend did you play with the 2nd most growing up? Is it me, or are some security questions tricky. I worry that I might not answer it right when asked. Once I'd told her the name of the street I lived on when I was 5 . . . sometimes I think I'm lucky that I can remember the street I live on today, she asked me if I knew a Mike White and a Desiree Powakalala. I had an uncle named Mike White, but he died maybe 7 years ago. The other name, no clue. Were these part of my security questions? Was Desiree Powaklala my long forgotten 2nd grade teacher? Um, no. 

Turns out, Mike and Desiree treated themselves to a few flights utilizing my hoarded miles. Yep. They stole over 79,000 miles from my account for trips they took in January. The nerve. I only had a measly 43K miles left over. Security helped link my account to a different email address. They sent me a form I have to fill out, like a police report thing. I believe AA will replace the miles and then conduct an investigation. 

Why don't they text me:  IS THIS YOU? I'm familiar with my Citi card texting me after a particularly successful shopping spree at Von Maur, when I sheepishly admit,

Yes, that was me that just splurged. Please don't tell Coach. 

*****

Have you been hacked? Other than changing passwords, any advice?  Has your mychart thingy freaked you out? 

I'm hungry, naive, creeped out, and struggling with bad hair/too much hair and re-entry

When Curly and I got to the airport Thursday night to fly to Texas for basketball, Curly's teammates told her that their coach had just sent an email. I had been busy making Cuban Chicken Rice Bowls before we left. I left a mountain of food for my people to eat and packed some to eat at our gate. I saved some in my tiny room fridge and ate the rest of it on the trip home. I'm a mom, so cold food that tastes better served warm does not bother me. Another mom in our group didn't know one could bring food thru security. 

Me:  Well, I did get flagged by security, but the TSA lady enjoyed the delicious smell  before handing it back to me. When I told her that I've had yogurt taken by security, she gave me a little hint. If you tell them it's for a medical reason, they'll let you keep it. Noted.

I digress, I hadn't seen the coach's email. Turns out, he'd checked himself into rehab. He wouldn't be making the trip. Oh. Snap. A dad, who is the assistant coach, filled in. These girls are so good, they really don't need much coaching. They're amazing. They won all 5 games. Only one game was competitive. We were down by 16, but came back to win. It was so exciting. Curly took a charge right when we tied it up. She was pumped up. A girl kept grabbing her jersey, and Curly kept pushing her hand away. Finally, the girl got right in her face and bleated like a goat. Curly was very entertained, as were the rest of the team and parents after the game. 

The dad of a girl on our team was annoyed that the other coach kept talking during our kids' free throws. After the game, he walked over to the coach's wife, who was in the stands with a tot and a baby. "Hey when you make dinner for him later tonight, ask him how losing that 16 point lead tasted in his mouth?" I don't know this dad well, but I learned to never cross him. 

Does it stink to fly to Texas to play weak opponents? Yep. We are hoping to be bumped up to the next bracket, so we can play better teams. 

Back to our regularly scheduled program, I knew Curly's coach was a recovered alcoholic, but how I realized that - well, he almost had to hit me over the head with an empty bottle of Jack. 

When Curly was very new to the team 2 years ago, her coach called me at home one night around 8 pm. This is back when we were considering sending Reg and Curly to a Catholic high school quite a distance from our home. He wanted to know how the open house went. It was a strange conversation. He was slurring his words a little. Then he said, "You know, I'm in recovery."

Because I'm me, the most naive and sheltered person alive, I thought, "Weird. Isn't it a little late to be recovering from a surgery. I can't believe he's calling ME . . . oh, wait a secccccond now. Hmm." 

So, when he missed a few games and other parents were bunching together, speaking in low voices with lots of nodding, I put two and two together. You could say nothing gets past me, but then you'd be wrong. 

Since then, we've had no issues. Shortly after we filed the lawsuit, I got an envelope in the mail with my address hand written. No return address. Inside was a photo copy of Curly's coach's DUI arrest with a handwritten note. MAYBE INSTEAD OF WORRYING IF YOUR SON GETS TO PLAY, YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT WHO YOUR DAUGHTER IS SPENDING HER TIME WITH.

Well. That was creepy. I paced around the house a little, closing blinds. I wasn't worried about my kid spending time with her coach. I was a little freaked out that someone bothered to do some digging and uncover the very obscure team (no where near our home) that Curly played for. I consoled myself with:  Hey, if this Wackadoodle is digging, I'm grateful there isn't much to dig up. 

******

Finally:  The current all-the-rage teen girl hairstyle. The severe center part paired with the low pony tail, the one I refer to as the George Washington. Why do girls do this? What happened to the perky pony tails of days gone by? Are we blaming Meghan Markle for this 'style'? Well, I am. 

Why has big bird
resurfaced in my
 kitchen? Reg is using
 it in his prom-posal.
 That's another story.
 Oh, prom is Saturday
 and he's asking her
 today (Wednesday).
 She already knows
she's going with
 him. Is there anything
 sillier? More in an
 upcoming post, but remind me
 if I forget because there
 is a lot going on. 

Rae and Kay are getting haircuts next week. It's time. They had a haircut in October. I won't take them back to that woman, because her 7th grade daughter told Rae she was fat. Plus, her hubs showed up at the board meeting to beg the board to keep the Idiot Coach, claiming that he had a ton of character. Um, what? Off the chart ass kissing. Based on how these folks parent their kids let their kids run wild, what do they know about character? 

So, I found another lady walking distance to us, who cuts hair in her home. Score. Rae's hair needs shape IMO. Long, low pony drags and looks dumpy. Also, her hair is EVERYWHERE. Understatement. I cannot walk across a surface of our home without getting her hair caught between my toes. She was wiping it on the shower door while showering. Curly was beside herself. I cleaned the shower - evidence everywhere. My vacuum is full of her hair. Like FULL. Short of shaving her head, I think a shorter do, maybe a long bob, might help to at least cut down on the length of the strands that are everywhere. Open to suggestions. I think if I want her to get on board with a new look, someone other than me needs to introduce it. Maybe someone hip like Curly.

I'm a little irritated with Kay and Rae. I think going out of town two weekends in a row is the issue. I get to remember what life is like without the strain of the girls.  Re-entry, back to the grind of dealing with attitudes, etc. well, it's rough. 

******

Everything will be fine, but if someone wants to steal my identity (upcoming post because it is a post in itself) then do I get to choose my new identity? While I'm at it I'll ditch SIBO, but I'm looking for a new me with less baggage from mean kids at all the schools and less on my to-do list. Like when are we gonna clean out the collapsed-shelving study closet and rebuild?  My list is so crowded, I've drafted a separate, just-for-today list.

Why do they even care?

Maybe it’s just me. I believe people who do something wrong should be punished. I prefer justice. I guess you could say I’m a fighter. Why am I like this? Maybe because I’m a middle child and my brothers were treated differently than the girls. I grew up craving fair. 

I don’t like to be walked all over. I don’t like being pushed around. This mentality transfers to my people. Push my people around? Hurt someone I care about? Then be ready to fight me. 

The story is long.  We settled our lawsuit against the school district. Our case was solid. They fired the coach after the season. We signed papers over a week ago. The board had a meeting and they approved the settlement. Kids messaged Reg:  HOW’S THE BOARD MEETING GOING? What? Reg knew nothing of the board meeting. We didn’t attend it. I thought that was strange. 

Curly with her hair in a rare ponytail.
 Leaving her last game in
Texas. Undefeated in the tournie.

Coach now wishes we’d waited till after the school year to settle. Who knew?

Last week, the settlement amount appeared in an online article. Apparently because it’s a pubic school, documents can be requested. Freedom of Info Act. Funny, because we were told to be very tight lipped about it. *a lawyer friend suspects the school leaked it, because how could a FOIA be so quick to get info.

Coach just about lost his everlasting mind when we were leaving the court house and I texted in the fam group chat that they hadn’t come up with enough, so we were going home. I didn’t feel I’d revealed anything super secretive.

Anyway, Reg texted me from school Friday. Kids were talking smack about the settlement. I’d just woken up in Texas. Curly and I got into our hotel room at 2 am. Reg texted that TW (the worst) who is supposedly his friend, texted in a group chat:  I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY GAVE YOU X AMOUNT, BECAUSE YOU REALLY AREN’T THAT GOOD AT BASKETBALL. Or something to that effect. What on earth?

This kid and others in this same group (a group Reg is friendly with, might sit with at football games but he doesn’t invite them over or anything) posted and texted terrible things about Reg when the controversy at the school began in November. Once Reg was on the team, playing great, they started acting like they were friends again. TW even asked Reg at the end of the season, DID THE GUY EVER APOLOGIZE TO YOU? Reg said no. TW couldn’t believe it. In other words, he recognized that Reg was mistreated, that he didn’t deserve what happened to him. 

Why would the settlement amount inspire anyone to be horrible to Reg again? What does it have to do with them? 

Later Friday morning, I spoke with the head of the math department. We had loose ends to tie up in regards to the comp sci class that Reg dropped. I broke down a little, explaining how this math teacher never responded to my email describing Reg’s verbal memory loss issue, the reason he had to drop the class. I told this teacher, Reg has had to put up with so much. “Can you believe that this kid TW texted him all this crap this morning?” Ms. Math dept head said she was going to call the dean as soon as she hung up from me.

Me:  Oh I don’t know about that. She can’t make it look like Reg told. I’m not sure that’s a good idea. 

Math:  Oh, she’s really good. That’s what they do. 

Me:  Well, tell her that I’m waiting to hear back from Reg about who else was on this text. Maybe there’s a kid who’d talk to the dean. She can’t let it look like Reg said something.

Then Reg texted me a picture of a chalkboard in school. A kid wrote the settlement amount on the board. It stayed there for hours. There was a sub in the classroom, who didn’t catch on. I emailed the pic to the dean. I told her that I was surprised she’d be reprimanding these kids, since Ego (last year’s coach) bullied my kid, we reported him, and look what happened. And he’s still teaching and coaching in the school. The sub remembered which kid wrote the number on the board and he got in trouble.

After school Reg called me:  Did you tell the dean? 

I explained what happened with the math teacher. He said TW had to apologize to him and that everyone (meaning the shit head group of boys) at school was mad at him. I told him, But I didn’t call the dean. You could say that it wasn’t you.

Reg:  It doesn’t matter what I say we did, it matters what they think we did. 

I felt HORRIBLE. I emailed the dean. WHAT DID YOU DO? I TOLD YOU TO WAIT UNTIL WE KNEW WHO ELSE WAS IN THE TEXT. SEE IF WE COULD GET A KID TO COME FORWARD AND TALK ABOUT IT. NOW YOU’VE MADE THINGS WORSE FOR REG. HIS SENIOR YEAR HAS BEEN HELL. I DIDN’T THINK IT COULD GET WORSE, BUT SOMEHOW IT HAS. 

She emailed back to say that they told TW that they heard about it from someone. She was shocked to learn that Reg was actually on the text. I was like, Of course he was on the text. They do that because they know he won’t do anything. He won’t start a fight or defend himself. He doesn’t want to get in trouble. 

Later Friday night, Reg texted me. He was with a kid who was still on the group chat. Reg was not on this chat. TW and other shit heads were all spouting off. If one more kid gets called to the dean, they’re gonna jump Reg. One kid said Reg ruined their senior year. This kid was on the basketball team. How exactly did he ruin YOUR senior year? This kid is apparently going to slash our tires. He’s going to break the windows of our cars. One kid said:  Reg is dead. 

I wanted to call the police. Coach was home, remember. I’m in Texas for b-ball with Curly. Coach said no. Reg said he didn’t have evidence on his phone. When his friend wasn’t looking, he took a picture of the friend’s screen. So he has a copy of some of it. 

Since he isn’t on this text group, I vote we show it to the dean. There are kids from another school on the chat too. Our dean can say she got a call from the other school. They won’t necessarily know/ suspect Reg reported it. Coach is opposed. Reg is thinking about it. 

If these kids get caught for this sort of thing, my guess is that they won’t be attending prom next weekend. I don’t think they should get to go to prom. They were horrible to Reg at the start of the ordeal and again now, when it has been settled. After Reg played his heart out for the team. He cheered on his teammates. Was the ideal teammate. He hasn’t deserved any of this and I am fed up with bullies getting away with whatever they want. 

In the meantime, I told Coach that we should order security cameras for our driveway. 

I'm not one to complain: the study abroad & insure this edition

I'm not one to complain, BUT . . .  *click the link to learn the background of this family quote. Or don't. That works too . . . 

Study Abroad program:  let me in, let me in . . . Mini found out mid January that she didn't get accepted into the study abroad program at ND. Here's the thing:  ND doesn't tell prospective students that they won't all get to study abroad. ND boasts about their program, and now that I have more info, I'm left to wonder - why are you boasting, exactly? Notre Dame's study abroad options pale in comparison to other schools. 

After Mini cried as if someone died didn't get accepted, parents posted on the ND parent FB page. "My kid was deciding between ND and another school and study abroad was really important to him. No one ever explained that it's so competitive that not everyone gets to go." Perhaps ND thinks so highly of itself that they can't believe anyone would consider another school. Please. 

Unrelated:  I made date bars with Kay last
week. I was trying to connect with her,
because sometimes it feels like all we do is
 order them around (homework, laundry,
pack your lunch, get to bed). This was what
 my food processor did to the dates. I added
 the beak, but I felt I had to
because it came out shaped
 like a bird. Am I right? 

This was so frustrating. Turns out this was a record breaking year of applicants. I can't remember the numbers, but it was staggering. 

Some people suggested those who didn't get a spot opt for a study abroad program in the summer. That wouldn't work for Mini. Her scholarship wouldn't cover the cost of tuition outside of the school year. Plus, my kid has to keep caddying in order to earn money. The Evans doesn't cover food and it's $7K. 

There's a waiting list and Mini hopes to get off of it, but she might not find out until the last minute. Mini visited the lady in the study abroad office often. "She likes me." Hey, what's not to like, right? Mini applied to take a leave of absence next spring in order to study abroad thru another college. The business program only allows approximately 5 students to go this route. 

Over spring break, Mini reached out to various colleges who also have Evans programs. Univ. of Minnesota told her they allow students from other colleges to study abroad thru their programs. Bingo. 

Next she had to find a city to study in that didn't already have an ND presence, criteria mandatory to apply. She chose U of MN's Florence, Italy program. If she gets off the wait list thru ND - she'll be most likely going to Galway, Ireland (initially her 1st choice was Athens, but she re-ranked her options as a strategic move, because the Galway wait list was shorter, or something). She and I both agree that the Florence program would be cooler than Galway. Beggars will not be picky.  

The letter she wrote for the application described her relationship with her late great Uncle and how he'd inspired her to become interested in art. Studying in Florence would give her many opportunities to enjoy the amazing art and architecture, etc. Additionally, Mini is an artist herself, and the Florence program has studio art classes that she could take. She's a history and theology minor and she would be able to take some history classes while there. 

She texted me yesterday:  I GOT FLORENCE. 

What a relief. ***Not complaining about this portion of the story.*** 

She now waits to see if she gets off the waiting list. I believe ND will require her to take an opening on the waitlist over taking a leave of absence, should a spot become available, but I might have that wrong. 

When I told my dad, he was tickled, and delighted. He looked up to heaven, "How's about that Mike?" Then he looked at me, I bet Mike loves that he was involved. 

Of her 13 close-knit friends, everyone got accepted to study abroad back in January, to study 2nd semester next year, except Mini, Kate (who almost died of the flesh-eating bacteria in the fall) and another one of her roommates. They're all on the wait list. They'd all planned to go at the same time, so they could see one another. They opted for 2nd semester, so they would be at school for football season.

Get this - Kate went into the office when she didn't get in, just like Mini did, in order to find out what to do next, etc. It became clear when speaking to the people in the office that they never read Kate's application. She wrote about how her doctors wanted her to drop out mid-semester,. She insisted on finishing the semester, because she didn't want to mess up her option to study abroad. Not many students wrote about a flesh eating bacteria. The people in the office were blown away, WOW, I'M SORRY THAT HAPPENED. Admitting they were unaware made it abundantly clear that they never read her application. What? Mini's application was very strong. She's a gifted writer. She was even editing some of her friends' applications minutes before they were due. It made no sense that she wasn't accepted to ND's program, unless of course they weren't actually reading the essays.  

Yesterday when Mini and I spoke, she told me the other roommate didn't get into the leave of absence thing. Then Kate was confused because unlike the other girls, she never got an email. She checked with the office and the office was like, OH, WE NEVER GOT YOUR LEAVE OF ABSENSE APPLICATION.

Could the universe please cut this girl a break? What on earth? I do hope they create a spot for her, because that's just crap. She submitted it electronically, on time. 

Anyway, I'm excited that Mini will most likely be able to study abroad. It was super important to her.

Since when does one less driver cost us MORE?  My other gripe - fun fact, the Shenanigans spend over $12,000 a year for car insurance. I called Allstate, saying Hey, our son Ed moved out. We'd like to remove him from our policy. 

Slightly related:  this was our Mustang
while in Dallas. We bought a plant for
 our friends at the Farmer's Market. Imagine
 what it would cost to insure this fine car?
 Our cars are nothin' fancy and
 STILL we pay out the wazoo. 

(typing in the background) Oh, actually removing Ed brings your bill up a bit. 

Wait. What's this? Are you on crack cocaine?

I was on the phone with multiple other people for over an hour trying to get them to give me a better deal. Ultimately, I decided to just switch carriers. So, I'll need to  make more phone calls next week, maybe? I leave tonight to fly back to Bryan, Texas for AAU ball with Curly. 

Coach will be home to hold down the fort, but Thursday night:  Curly and I drive to the airport. We leave a car in the economy lot. I leave the ticket in the car. Coach drives downtown a few hours later to get Reg his 7:20 pm epilepsy MRI at Rush. On their way back, they'll stop at Midway to pick up my car from the economy lot. Where will the girls be during all of this? I have no idea. 

*****

If you could study abroad now, where would you go? (or did you and where did you go). What bill seems stupidly over priced/nonsensical? 

I might rock a cowboy hat, plus: a sleeping coincidence, and a mental health discussion that made us proud

Coach and I flew to Dallas early Friday morning. He taught a class all day Saturday and half of Sunday. We flew home EARLY Monday morning (today - I’m drafting this mid day Sunday, poolside!). The weather was 80s and sunny, with some serious wind. What is it with me and the wind lately? I’ll take a windy day next to the pool to a rainy, chilly day at home. 

My friends, Dee and Maurice, live near Grapevine where we stayed. Long time readers will remember, I babysat for their babies back when I was in high school. He played for the Bears and was on the Superbowl team. Dee and I became good friends. 

I read my book by the pool Friday afternoon. Coach and I walked around Grapevine Friday evening and ate at a Mexican place. Then we enjoyed a glass of wine outside along Main Street.

Our trip wasn’t without a little snafu. Coach accidentally booked our rental from DFW, and we landed at Love Field. Oh, dang nab it. 

We took an Uber to the other airport, where he got in line to rent the car and I tore into our checked bag that included a small cooler of GF foods. The Uber made me a tad nauseated, and I felt better after some fresh fruit. Coach noted later that the Hertz rental at the original airport had no wait for the shuttle and a non-existent line, but of course the Hertz line at the next place was lengthy. We ended up in a red convertible Mustang, which made us chuckle. Has their ever been a couple more ill suited for a red Mustang convertible? 

When we tried to leave the lot in our hot rod, the line didn’t move. Then they had us and other cars back up so the first car could exit. When we finally got to the front of the line, we waited while the lady did something with our paperwork. It was a ridiculously lengthy process (even when subtracting the time that Coach’s error cost us). There must be a better way. Renting a car has added so much time to our travel experiences lately. What the what?

Dee and I went to lunch Saturday, where we got caught up on all the things. We laughed our butts off while we drank and ate. I count that bowl at a place called HG Sply (I think) as one of the best meals I’ve ever consumed. Grilled chicken, stir fry veggies, a scrambled egg. Afterward, we met most of her offspring and her husband at her daughter’s house. I met 4 of her grand babies. So sweet. Then Coach showed up after his class and the four of us hung out a bit longer and then went to dinner. 

Place we ate. Outside feel,
but with a big awning
over the top. Really hip. So yummy.

I got to share a few funny memories from way back with her daughter, who is now a mom to three kids ages 9-2. Her older brother, at age 6, realized one day that he would one day be expected to move out of his parents’ house and he was struggling with the concept. Daughter at age 4 piped up with, “Oh Brian. What is your problem? We aren’t gonna live with mom and dad forever. Duh! Get over it.” This so sums up their personalities. Also when he said his prayers he always ended with, “Sweet Jesus, make me a good boy.” Little sis always ended her prayers with:  “Sweet Jesus, make me a good boy and girl.” 

Not gonna lie, Coach and I have talked about relocating to Texas. I’m confident we won’t move, but what I wouldn’t give to live near Dee and Maurice, and the climate here - well, it’s tempting. Whenever I travel to Texas, I feel like I’ve arrived in a different country. Am I alone? The boots, the hats? I think I would rock a cowboy hat, and how great would that be for my stupidly thin hair? 

Coincidence? I slept amazing while in Florida and again while on this trip to Texas. Both places:  king size beds. Perhaps it’s time to ditch our queen size bed. The issue:  I like our bedroom furniture and the bed frame is a queen. My mom bought it for us with the money she inherited when her mom passed away. Also, I love my quilt - so much, that I bought a second one and have it in a box in my closet. We need a new mattress, but I drag my feet because I need to be confident in queen or king before I make this big purchase. 

Last week, Tank texted Coach and I. He wanted us to know that he gave a talk to the sophomores in his fraternity. The topic was mental health awareness. Tank shared his battle with OCD. He said he was pretty nervous about it, but he think it went well. He did it, he said, because he wanted to remove the stigma. Needless to say, Coach and I texted back how very proud we are of him. Tank is hilarious, and well liked. Most people wouldn’t know about his difficult ordeal. I told Dee about this, and she was like “Wow, that’s a way to save lives. Good for him.” Not only is Tank hilarious, but he is brave. 

It’s been an all-hands on deck deal at home this weekend. Most of the responsibility to take care of the girls fell to Reg. He was around each night, and friends and my brother Pat entertained them during the days to give Reg a break. Curly was in Wisconsin playing b-ball. Ed agreed to come home Sunday afternoon and spend the night -then work from home Monday. He is checking that laundry was done, homework was handled, and no one dropped choking hazards, like a bag of pennies, on the family room floor before babies get dropped off. Curly and Reg are managing my daycare in the morning until we land late morning. 

Rae called me from school Thursday complaining of a stomach ache and a headache. I went to school to give her a few Motrin and a water bottle. Anyone else think it is crazy that the junior high doesn’t allow students to carry water around during the school day? I feel like that makes no sense. After school, she was fine. Ate a big dinner. No complaints. The minute we finally walked into our hotel room, she called again. “My stomach hurts.” I was like, crap. But I told her I hoped she would feel better. That was it. We heard nothing else. There is girl drama happening in her grade. I wonder if that’s the issue? 

Back to the grind today. Hope your week includes no stomach aches, no girl drama, no rental car slowdowns, and time to relax pool side with a book. 

Welcome back! 

Anyone just showing up, looking around, thinking: 

Wait, where the hell have you been? 

We had a situation to deal with, and our lawyer was all 'No talkie-talkie', some people were able to read my posts while on private mode. They emailed me and knew the secret handshake. 

My apologies, if you came here and got: 

compliments IMGFLIP

You can go back and look at posts you've missed. I deleted anything pertaining to the poo-poo issue. Now, if any of you read my posts about SIBO, you're gonna be extra confused. Wait, I thought she said she deleted posts about poo-poo. 

Anyway, I'm thrilled to be open for business again, as it were. I promise I didn't intend to be tight-lipped, weird, and inclusive. If you thought I decided to join a band of Irish dancing gypsies - having missed Curly's glory days so much, you guessed wrong. Feel free to share other creative guesses about where I went, or what I was doing with my 'free' time, please share in the comments. 

The latest:  Reg's doctor visit: (read this to get up to speed, or this)  

Monday Curly stayed home from school to sub for me until 10:30 am when Reg and I returned home to find her a tad frazzled and preschoolers being loud and obnoxious. She watched the two 4 year old's, two 2 year old's, and the 12 mo. old that I sit for. I know, it was a light day. I kid, but really - it's my lightest day. Her school ditching was necessary so I could take Reg to see his neurologist at Rush.

BTW - Tuesday I was leaving the park with my gang. My friend Becky's group was intermingling with mine as we lined 'em up, preparing to march to our respective cars, or in my case GW, our Great White van. 

Me: HANG ON. AM I MISSING SOMEONE? (Quick head count) Seven. Oh, OK. That's everyone. 

I was down one kid, not because I lost her at the park. She didn't get dropped off in the morning. Tuesdays are my cray-cray day, and I felt weird with only 7, and not 8 charges.

Poor Curly texted me before 8 am (the appt was at 8, so we left the house to drive into the city at 6:42 am):  "I don't have the same control over the 'big' kids that you have. They're not listening to me and they're being wild."

Me:  Send them to the basement and lock the door. *kidding, that door doesn't lock. 

*********

The doc arrived 30 minutes late. He was apologetic. 

Me:  (in my mind) But don't all specialists arrive late.

Apparently he lives 15 minutes from the down town office. With traffic it took him 2 hours. He said that never happens, but that he thinks it was because people were travelling south to see the eclipse. Just our luck. 

That's not where our luck ended, mind you. *a little neurologist humor, get it? 

Doc was surprised to see us, since our next appointment was scheduled in the 'burbs the end of May.

Me:  (confused, like, had I blown this out of proportion?) Well, given the alarming results of his neuro psych evaluation, we moved the appointment up. We wanted to ask questions. We have to decide if he'll go to college in the fall. 

Doc:  Oh, wait. I haven't seen the neuro psych test results. I don't know why. They should've been sent to me. 

Yes, Blog friends, you are right - incredibly frustrating. What on earth? This is Rush Hospital, it's a serious joint. He ordered the test to be done at Rush. The psychologist, who did the test zoomed us, said she'd get Doc the results right away. What even? 

Luckily, I brought a hard copy with me. Initially I planned to bring a notebook, but then I thought, Oh, what if he refers to a page number, better bring my copy. He leafed through it and his people made a copy of it while he chatted with me. 

I was hoping for Oh, I know what to do for him. We see this sometimes. This is how we deal with it. 

This coaster makes me laugh.
 It also ties in nicely with
my reference to
Reg's recent stress. 

That was not what we got. He attributes Reg's (diagnosis' name):  Major Neurocognitive Disorder, associated with epilepsy, to 1 of 4 things:  stress (namely -2 basketball seasons), or medications (he's on Trileptal and there is only one med better, so not likely), or scar tissue from seizures, or something else (too lazy to consult my handy-dandy notebook- I did look at my notes, but I think it just lists a different kind of seizure that doesn't typically cause this). 

*  He ordered an epileptic specific MRI to be done at Rush ASAP, in the city, of course. He hopes that'll give him more answers about where the damage is. If it's a specific damage, then there's no recovering from this memory issue. Ouch. 

*  He's gonna speak to the 'everyday' neuro in the burbs, who monitors Reg's meds. He's recommending an increase in his Trileptal. 

*  He wrote me a prescription for Reg to have OT. His fine motor skills are so bad, his writing is impossible to read. 

*  We talked about how Reg prefers to nap daily. Who doesn't, right? Seriously though, he gets so tried. His meds cause drowsiness. Doc suggested he start eating 6 smaller meals vs 3 big meals. Curly's eyes bugged out - Like, how can we feed this kid MORE. I explained it's supposed to be less food per meal, but I don't think Reg knows how to dial back a meal. 

I've already told him, if he's home next year at a junior college, we're gonna have to look into a meal plan. Do juco's do meal plans? I cannot keep enough food in the house for him. 

Overall, I was bummed. I didn't feel like we got a ton of answers. No simple, straightforward fixes either. Damn. 

In better news, it seems like Reg is starting to embrace the idea of a gap year. 

I keep wanting to type: Gap year. As if, he'll be home next year taking a few classes, figuring out how to best use his accommodations while playing as much basketball as possible, and also juggling a job folding clothes and hollering 'Welcome in' to shoppers at our local Gap clothing store. 

Curly plays travel ball with a girl whose dad recently retired from coaching at a junior college not far from us. I emailed him. He asked for film of Reg playing and he sent Reg a very positive, complimentary email, saying he can see him playing D2 or walking on somewhere at a D1 school. He has loads of contacts, and knows the coach at Creighton personally. Reg was very encouraged. He's going to tour the junior college on Wednesday and he's going to attend a practice with the coach on Saturday. 

My kids might make fun of me for always talking to people, but look at this connection? This man and I have chatted quite a bit between games while watching our girls play together. He knew a lot about Reg's background, and he's willing to help him out. 

Reg has started to say things like, I think college coaches like to get players who are a year older, more mature, stronger. This change of mindset is a step in the right direction as we think getting this info this late in the game is gonna make going off to college in the fall really tough. 

******

So, what's been going on with you? Did the eclipse muck up your day at all? I have another long wait at the doc office story to share soon. Is it me, or are regular doctors leaving patients waiting longer?  Is anyone as surprised as I was that Curly was overwhelmed by a couple of preschoolers?  If you can't think of anything to say, remind me of your favorite Mini memory - her 20th b-day is tomorrow.

I've not been popping up recently, so if you're here, please comment. *is shameless comment begging tolerated if someone's been MIA for over 4 months?

I'M BAAACKKK!!!! *My happy place: as the mom of a son with epilepsy (not new - if you've been reading past 4 mos)

If you were reading my blog while the blog was on private, then you've seen this. I had to delete the rest of that post because it was full of taboo, but this part is info I wanted to share so people who haven't been able to see all the happenings the last few months are up to speed.  

************

My happy place:  as the mom of a son with epilepsy- 

When Reg had his tonic-clonic seizure (formerly called Grand Mal) on 8-1-22, I freaked out. I sat at the hospital bed in the ER desperate for him to talk to me. His eyes were half open and he didn't seem to know me. The doc explained that this was normal. I worried about brain damage, but Reg perked up eventually, just as the doctors assured me he would.

The next day we saw out pediatric neurologist, Dr. Y. He's amazing. I had so many questions. Can he outgrow this? What does the future look like? 

Because Reg had done thru puberty, he most likely wouldn't outgrow it. Damn. 

He also mentioned that some people only have one seizure and then the meds kick in. I clung to this. Decided, This will be us. A year and a half later, I have thought:  Look at us. Our son is epileptic, but it isn't the kind that's prompted by strobe lights. He isn't seizing constantly. We are fine. Everything is fine. 

I even felt a little guilty telling people that Reg is epileptic, because we must have the 'good' kind. An easy to manage form. No one should feel bad or worried about Reg, because he's fine. 

Last year Dr. Y suggested that Reg see his mentor down at Rush hospital, "just for a 2nd opinion." Here I hopped over to my comfort zone, to my happy place. I decided that Dr. Y just wanted his mentor to recognize that Reg was doing so well. Sure, that's the reason. 

I was wishing I'd saved the 
middle finger coaster
 photo for this post, but
 this one works too!

Then we had to push the long awaited appointment back because of course it landed on the same day as conference golf. I called daily, Any cancellations? 

I told myself I wasn't worried, just trying to follow doctor's orders and check this appointment off my list before Reg turned 18 and would no longer be considered pediatric. *This Rush doc will still see Reg through adulthood, praise the Lord. 

We saw Dr. M on Dec. 11th. He told me that he sometimes is able to locate the epilepsy on the brain and do surgery to remove it. I was like, Wow. Good for you.

But, secretly I thought - Well, isn't that great for kids whose seizures aren't controlled. But, that's not us. Clearly. 

Now we know that all the deja vu issues, aka mini-seizures, are not controlled and they are doing damage. Damn it. Now I wonder, was he telling us that he does surgery, because he thinks Reg might be a candidate? 

I was able to move Reg's end of May appointment from the very near our house location, to the very distant downtown office with the nightmare traffic at 8 am on a Monday. I'm now mapping out how to cover my daycare. Curly can miss 1st period, can Coach block his schedule for an hour till we get home so she can make it to 2nd period? TBD. 

In the meantime, I miss my Happy Place. My son has epilepsy and I don't have all the answers. 

*****

We learned something about Reg's epilepsy a few weeks ago after he had some testing done. Not good news. His mini episodes have damaged his verbal memory, so he needs to have open book and notes for tests. I'm about to update everyone on the doctor appointment we had on Monday where I got to ask the doctor about the test results. 

Oh, and - Reg is most likely gonna take a gap year as he adjusts to any medication changes and various academic accommodations. It's tough, but in true Reg fashion, he's accepting it and adjusting.

Reposting this so the next post makes sense. No need to re-comment. Update on that doc appointment coming soon, hopefully Thursday.

Have you missed me? Wondered where I went?

more postcards I wish I could send from vacation

Dear Pair of Ladies at the Dollar Car Rental Counter in Tampa on March 21st at 12:30 am,

I sense that one of you was embarrassed by the other’s behavior, so first I’d like to say - I hope Embarrassed was able to enjoy the rest of the trip and that Thoughtless didn’t continue to make you wish you hadn’t agreed to travel with little Ms. Wait- World-While-I-Ask-50-Questions-Before-Renting-This-Car.  

Ms. Thoughtless, when it is almost 1:00 am, and there's a line of tired travelers behind you, might you refrain from asking a million questions and debating how each dollar of your rental will be allocated? 

Perhaps the weary travelers behind you in line should have accepted the offer from the man in line ahead of Coach. He suggested that those waiting take up a collection to offset the $3 you were trying to save. This was a considerate option, but in the future perhaps arrive at the rental counter prepared to RENT the car. Given your age, one would assume that you've been tasked with renting a car previously. If not, then please be advised:  taking almost 30 minutes at the rental car counter is not a standard practice, particularly when there are other customers waiting who are prepared to spend the allotted 5-10 minutes renting a car and not much more, because, as I've mentioned IT IS BASICALLY THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. 

I think Embarrassed caught my shocked stare as you two walked past me and my four very tired children. You, Thoughtless, seemed not to notice. Or if you did notice, you seemed not to care, but I do hope that the $3 you saved was well spent on something you cherish, perhaps a Starbucks coffee. God help the people who land in line behind you as you order a coffee. One can only imagine. 

I'd taken a walk to the restroom after waiting on the nearby bench for about 14 minutes with my kids while my husband stood in line. When I returned from my long, leisurely walk to the bathroom, I was shocked when I realized that the two of you were still at the counter. My children laughed at my reaction, nodding together, "I know. It's still them. They're still talking to the guy about renting their car." My children forbid me from engaging in a dialogue with you. Such a pity, because now I will never have my simple question answered: Why? Just, WHY?

Signed,

Blown Away

******************

Dear Loud Man on the Beach at Siesta Key,

Remember me? Probably not, because I wasn't loud. I wasn't broadcasting my conversation across the beach by utilizing my shouting voice. 

Alas, you, on the other hand, were so loud. I learned so much about you, despite never having met you. I understand that you will never rent a car from Budget again, since you had to wait to rent a car for over an hour. I hope it wasn't at 1 am. Been there. 

It was so windy, some people took
cover under the umbrella.

How wonderful that you take your mom on nice trips. I hope you felt the $313.63 you paid to have your motorcycle delivered to you was worth it. Was the weather enjoyable on Thursday when you visited Busch Gardens? I assume the club that allows patrons over 18 inside was a blast. 

Shhhh, 

Not Interested In Your Business

***********

I have not edited the 4 months of posts I wrote during the time my blog was on private, because it was a busy weekend. If you haven't seen the video I posted last time, I encourage you to check it out before I remove it. 

Curly played travel ball close to home over the weekend. We took the girls, so they could see her play. Curly's travelling all over the place in the next few months. I believe I'm going to be her exclusive travel companion, which I'm excited about. My excitement about travelling so much might wane come late July. I'll keep you posted. 

The bummer about the local tournament she played in - it didn't include competitive teams. So, we blew every team out of the water. 

Coach and I arranged a bowling outing with the girls' grandparents (and us) on Saturday after Curly's games. It was fine. One day I'll get around to sharing the difficulties the grandparents have presented.

Coach and I met another couple out for a drink Saturday night while Reg babysat. We had a nice time, but the wife had volunteered to chaperone a shut-in at the high school, so it was an early evening because she had to be at the school by 9 pm. On the way home, we decided to stop somewhere else and get a drink. We didn't want to arrive home before the girls went to bed.

This morning at 8 am, Reg and I go downtown to meet with his neurologist to find out more about his diagnosis, which is called:  Major Neurocognitive Disorder, which has "caused a significant level of decline in his learning/memory."

Did you go bowling (for the record, I didn't bowl - I observed), drink something fruity, or reminisce about a high school memory from days gone by recently? Ever get stuck at the rental car counter for an unusually lengthy time? Ever gotten set up on the beach only to find people near you are A. loud, B. have odd or x-rated taste in music, or C. decide to become intimate with one another (I'm not talking about kissing, people) while you have very young children playing on your beach blanket? *fun fact - the Shenanigans have encountered all of the above.

eggs everywhere, unwelcome visitors, & loads of laughs

I have another 'vacation postcard' to share, but first: 

Lad is raising chickens. In addition to his two dogs. He claims to have built the very nice chicken coop in his backyard. Wise people, like myself, who've seen photos of the chicken coop, believe he bought the chicken coop second-hand, dismantled it, and put it back together on his property. I believe said coop is in better shape than his house based on his comments and on my intuition. 

Lad has lived in his house since June and we have yet to lay eyes on it. It's probably 10 or 15 minutes away. For Christmas, per his request, we bought him room darkening, thermal curtains for his living room, along with a rod and a promise that Coach would install them. Coach was available and ready to hang them on a prearranged date, but Lad didn't answer his phone. Perhaps a date will work in the near future and then we will see his place. We did pay for his washing machine to be repaired, so he isn't using my machine anymore. (the infrequency with which he borrowed my machine was alarming, considering clean clothes are essential in my estimation).

Just before we left for Florida, Lad stopped by with a truckload of eggs (this is only a slight exaggeration), which has become the norm. The current state of affairs:   floating eggs in water. If they float, they've expired. Free eggs are not a bag thing, and I've only had a few floaters so this arrangement feels like a win. 

Any who, I warned Lad that we'd be locking the interior door of the garage when we were out of town. "Why?" I explained that it's what we do when we go away. "But then I can't watch March Madness." He doesn't have cable. *sigh*

I felt guilty, so Coach and I gave Lad access to our home via the keypad. "Please be cautious. Double check that the garage door goes down all the way. And - absolutely no dogs inside our home." 

My guess is none of you will be surprised to learn that we arrived to a mysteriously recently vacuumed family room. It became clear that the dogs were in our house a shit ton. All of our throw blankets are covered in dog hair. A shirt Rae contemplated packing, but ditched at the last minute, was left on the back of the couch, clean. It's covered with dog hair, and presumably, dog slobber. A stuffed animal that was in the girls' room resurfaced in the family room, clearly slobbered on. *Grrrr* (that's my growl, not the dogs').

I ended up buying eggs for Easter, because I was making two egg casseroles and baking. Lad's egg supply is usually abundant, but I didn't want to bank on it. When he stopped by Friday, he was beyond insulted that I'd purchased eggs from the grocery store. This entertained Mini to no end. As the weekend with everyone in town approached, I texted: 

Me:  Mandatory attendance for dinner and a game Sat. I don't wanna hear about how you wanna hang with friends. 

Welcome to the family, Kay.
(see:  basket on the ceiling
 fan. My idea, but executed
 by Reg.)

Lad usually woks till around 6 or so, but he ended up working crazy late and had the worst day of work ever. He arrived after 10 pm after he'd let his dogs out, just in time to hide baskets. 

FYI - the job he interviewed for countless times, has not materialized into anything but a lot of frustration. I feel awful for him. He's tired of waiting around for them to hire him, so he's looking into other options. I'm praying that the right opportunity comes along and clicks for him. He isn't great at managing his ADD and he's told us that he started meds in preparation for this 'non-existent' job, but I'm hoping he stays the course and that he isn't lying about it. He has to want it. 

Dinner was nice. At one point, Rae whispered, "Everyone is talking, at the same time." 

Welcome to the family, Rae. 

After dinner we played a game called Wits and Wagers, Family Edition. I picked it up when I attended that foster mom sale giveaway. There were so many of us, we divided into teams. A question is read, and each team writes their answer. Then everyone uses their pawn to vote for the most likely answer. The pawns are called meeples though, and I dare you to play a family game using both big and small meeples, refer to the meeples repeatedly, and not die laughing. We were off to a good start.

Question:  On average how many eggs does a chicken lay in a year? (very appropriate, all things considered)

Before you read any further, please think of your own guess. If I was a fancy blogger, I'd come up with my own survey here, but alas . . . 

*******

I was paired with Kay. As people living in this house (unlike Mini, Ed, and Tank), we've witnessed a shit ton of eggs being delivered. Lad only has 4 chickens. Well, he started with 6, maybe - the number changes constantly when he tells chicken stories, but his dogs killed a few of his initial flock. Anyway, Kay and I decided that 3 eggs a day multiplied by 365 sounded about right. Somehow we came up with 1,400 eggs. Not sure which of us was doing the math, but in my defense, Kay wanted our number to be over 2,000, so I believe she begged me to meet her in the middle. 

The answer was 250. 

Someone guessed 180. Someone guessed 360. Someone guessed 1,040. The cackling that ensued after our number was shared was well worth the shame of accepting that I was party to an absolutely implausible answer. Ed in particular was beside himself. It was hilarious. 

I pretended to be a news anchor afterwards, "This just in, stay indoors. We're encountering a natural disaster. Chicken eggs are EVERYWHERE." 

There was also a question about an average shower, and Ed refused to accept his teammate Rae's preposterous answer. More hysterics. 

In other news, I both love and fear the upcoming summer months, because my big kids will be home, but they are really good at begging me to stay up late to watch a movie or just chat. I love this so much, but I need sleep, too. One night over break, the 2 college kids and our egg delivery man, who visits and hangs out quite a bit, stayed up late chatting. They were talking about  a coach at the high school

Coach at the high school:  Our record was 10 and 17 (made up numbers), but like - we were winning 7 games at the half, sometimes into the 4th quarter . . . so if you count those games, it was like we won 17 and lost 10. 

What now? 

Mini:  Yeah, that's like saying If my grandma had wheels, she'd be a bike. 

********

What was your egg laying guess? Anything make you chuckle recently, or have you dealt with unwelcome visitors while out of town, or are you tempted to stay up late even though it isn't wise?