August 12, 2019

hole in 1, new shoes, career woes, & a hole in 1 at my workplace

Last week the guy Lad was caddying for made a hole in one.  I do not golf, but I get that this is an exciting moment in the life of a golfer.  Fortunately, it is also an exciting moment in the life of a caddy.  The golfer paid Lad $500 for the day.  HUGE!  GENEROUS!

This is a FEW of the shoes in the
mudroom.  I opted not to spend
 my entire morning
walking around the corners
of the kitchen and
 the front hall taking pics of all the
shoes abandoned there.
Apparently a golfer scoring a hole in one typically purchases new shoes for his caddy after such a monumental event.  I know, I don't get the correlation either.  Laddie is excited to get new shoes.  Our mudroom groaned a little at the prospect of ANOTHER pair of shoes being tossed around in there.

Not sure my kids believe me, but when I was growing up we each owned a pair of shoes for Catholic school - known as 'school shoes' - very creative title indeed.  They were leather Mary Jane's or Sperry's that we referred to as top siders in the '80s.  Then we owned 'gym shoes' which were sneakers suitable for gym class.  In the summer, the girls owned a pair of sandals.  The end.  And my mother wonders why my house is such a disaster.  It is the shoes.  They are going to overtake us.

Anyway, lately I have been grappling with career woes or  job insecurity/questioning.  Not sure what else to call it.  Similar feelings have crept up on me in the past.  Like:  why don't I get a 'real' job?  I have a degree, why can't I find a way to use it?  (oh, that's right my experience is diapers)  Why didn't I go back and get a teaching degree back in the day?

I would like to think that this real-job-where-art-thou thought process will subside, but I will be honest I only foresee that happening if my book gets published.  Then I will be all 'You see, I have just been carving out time to write during naps.  Writing is also an excellent way to avoid cleaning house.  And look here - now I have a book to show for it.  Piece of cake!'

I am not holding my breath.

What I should do is write a book about potty training, because WHY ARE THERE KIDS OUT THERE WHO ARE THREE YEARS OLD STILL WEARING DIAPERS?  Come on.  It is an area of expertise for me.  The family I started babysitting for when I was 12 yrs old, paid me extra when the folks went to Europe (by now I was 16 because leaving kids with a 12 yr old for Europe probably didn't fly back then even though seat belts were considered decorative devices) for a few weeks and came home to a potty trained kid.  Shazam!

It got me thinking that the families I sit for should perhaps offer me a similar $500 hole in one bonus.  Potty training is a similar concept.  Ready, aim, fire -in the hole preferably - not on my floor.

I will pass on the new shoes, because I am really particular about my shoes and because my house cannot accommodate another pair.


Kari Wagner Hoban said...

I'd read that potty training book and my kids are all potty trained.

Ernie said...

I cannot guarantee it would be a fun read, unless you count poop and pee conversations as fun. I attended my first writers group meeting the other night. Very interesting. More on that later. I want a job that offers $500 tips. Damn it.

Marie Smith said...

You would do really well with the potty training book!

Ernie said...

Perhaps, but it would be hard to go with the potty training angle and not how crazy parents are when it comes to potty training. It would be like: 'Top 10 Stupid Potty Training Mistakes Patents Make.' My fav: kid would only poop at his house on a toilet topper (like a small seat placed on top of a big potty) - even though he had been 'trained' for better part of a year. The mom just waited around at home until he went before running errands, etc. I was like, how are you living like this?

Beth (A Moms Life) said...

A simple yet funny potty training book would be a best seller. Not filled with tons of useless info on how kids pee or any nonsense like that - just a quick here's what to do and how to do it. It would fly off the shelves!

Ernie said...

I am picking up on an overall vibe! Will take under advisement.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I have to admit, I had one who was FOUR (#2) before she wanted to give up her diapers. She was lazy....and to be honest, she is still lazy. LOL
This might be a silly question, but why doesn't everyone put their shoes in their own closet? I'd lose my mind if not.
Wishing you luck on your woe-career-thoughts. I think you're doing a great job right where you are, but you've got to be happy. Right?

Ernie said...

Oh nom 4! I should skip writing a book and start a potty training camp. Literally way too many privacy issues there. I once had a friend's son come over to play. He was about 3 or 4 and he said he had to go potty. I showed him where the bathroom was and asked him if he needed any help. In a really deliberate long-drawn out way with a lisp he said, 'My Mommy says my body's private.' Enough said! I was like 'so true,' and my girlfriend who I have known since childhood has NEVER heard the end of it. She is super sarcastic, and every time I see her (only every couple of years now), I imitate her son and we die laughing.

Our upstairs is carpeted and we don't wear our shoes in the house. I keep my flats and dress shoes in my bedroom closet. They each have a locker in the mudroom. They are completely incapable of keeping shoes in there. Plus there are shoes for different seasons and sports so I try to make them swap them out and those unused go in a bin in the basement till the next sport season they are needed for. The shoes are slowly killing me.

I started my school year babysitting on Tuesday. I texted my girlfriend who also babysits: 'Remind me again why we do this.' Ha! Let's just say I have a new preschool guy who said, 'Hey guys . . .' at least 500 times in one day. Always an adjustment. I did attend a writers club last week, which made me feel like I was moving in the right direction towards writing my book. Had some good feedback. Baby steps (nice play on words there?)