August 5, 2019

donuts overdone, fessing up

Empty boxes as evidence.  I was APPALLED!
Saturday night I brought Curly and Reggie to the grocery store at 9 pm on our way home from a graduation party.  We were out of milk and break.  I tried to remember what else was on my list.  While I waited for my mind to recall groceries, Reg and Curly stared with 'please let us be done here so we can go home now' faces.

There was a woman in the produce section listening to them pester me to BE DONE.  I glanced at her and enlisted her support with my:  'Isn't it funny how they are always happy to eat the food, but they would rather I bring it home and not involve them.  They don't mind if I grab groceries on my time!'

My new produce friend gave me a knowing nod and rewarded me with a chuckle.

I in turn rewarded Reg and Curly with the opportunity to pick out a few boxes of donuts because they were buy one get one free.  Total of 16 donuts.  36 hours later . .  . they were all gone.  I requested that everyone fess up so I would know who overdid it on the donut front.
This is my tally sheet.  I have celiac disease, so we all know it wasn't me!

Me to Coach.
I even texted Coach at work to see if he could claim donut consumption.  He and Mini had been out of town for the weekend, so I knew Mini hadn't eaten any.  Coach admitted that he took one with him to work early Monday morning.  He is not typically a donut eating guy, but I was slightly relieved that he had at least ingested one.  Otherwise the math was downright frightening.

If everyone was telling the truth, then Tank had scarfed down a whopping 8 donuts between Sunday and Monday mornings.  That, in my estimation, is GROSS.

Ed, the health food nut of the bunch, took it
upon himself to give Tank an idea of what calorie
 and fat he took in.   If only Tank cared.
 He's a skinny tall kid, but not for long.
Tank is learning to drive.  I was going to make him walk to the store to buy another box of donuts, but I ended up having him practice-drive his way to the high school with me to pick up Reg.  He bought weak replacement donuts and I demanded that he drive around the corner to Dunkin Donuts.

He had control of the car (interesting because he clearly has no control over his appetite), so he drove back to the grocery store and upgraded from plain cake donuts to cake donuts with chocolate frosting. 

And my kids wonder why I don't buy donuts very often.


Kari said...

If they are Entenmann's, I get it completely.
Also, this is my house this summer.
I got a bag of Sun Chips on Friday (in addition to $50 worth of other crap) and they were gone by Friday.
They didn't even last a day.

Add a Paypal button to your blog to have people donate to your cause. I might do it too.

Ernie said...

Yes. Entenmans. Damn them.I cannot keep food in my house. I could go to the grocery daily, but blah who wants to live like that? I freeze my homeade cookies so I can grab them as needed for friends coming over, etc. I recently took out a bag from freezer that was empty. Some jack ass has been helping himself to my stash. Grrr.

Marie Smith said...

I am never tempted by donuts but my hubby...

Ernie said...

Hilarious! I cannot eat them since the damn cekiac diagnosis. But even in my gluten eating hey-day I would never be tempted to eat a whole box! Mercy!!!

Nicole MacPherson said...

Oooooh this sounds like my house. I'll make a batch of muffins - let's call it a dozen - and 36 hours later they are gone. At the latest. Sometimes it's 24 hours. And I don't eat them, my husband might eat one, and I guess that's the whole thing about teen boys!

StephLove said...

I love that you tallied it.

Ernie said...

yes, teenage boys and crazy appetites. I am in it up to my eyeballs. My best friend moaned when I gave birth to my 4th boy: 'Oh, your grocery bills someday!' She was not kidding!

Ernie said...

Ha. Yes, they do not always come clean, but I am pretty confident that we got an accurate count here. Poor coach was like 'Um, I ate one.' I wasn't trying to out the man for eating the occasional dount. I texted back and was like 'this is good news - it just means it is one less donut that Tank ingested.'

Busy Bee Suz said...

All I can think of is that I ATE a donut the other day while traveling with my Lolo.
You're so funny. I used to write notes to my kids with my issues too....but now, I just holler across the house to the coach. :)
And donuts are not allowed in this house because I have little self control.

Ernie said...

If it weren't for celiac disease I would be right there with the poor self control. Not that gluten makes me vomit, it serves me well. Eddie brought home a bar that he swore was gluten free. It was similar to a nutrigrain bar. I tried it and thought 'this is glorious!' A moment after I swallowed it, I thought - wait, too good to be gluten free. It DID have gluten in it. I should have read the label. I tried to make myself throw up before it caused more of an issue later. I could not make myself puke. For real. I was googling ways to make myself puke and none of them would work for me, or I was too chicken to come close. I would have made a horrible bulimic.