While we were away visiting Tank, Reg and Curly attended homecoming. Ed and his Girlfriend handled pictures. I texted a few requests. Mainly: a pic of Reg and Curly together before the dance. I knew the other moms would share group pics. Ed said the hardest part of his big brother duty was Girlfriend stressing that they weren't taking enough photos. I was sorry I hadn't better communicated my chill approach to the paparazzi scene.
What I was more sorry about was coming home and finding out that Girlfriend was upstairs in our home. It gets worse. She was in my bedroom. AND worst of all - she was in my BATHROOM.
I'm here to shatter the myth, people: the upstairs of my house is barely habitable. My bedroom is SO much better than a few weeks ago, but still. It isn't LET'S HAVE FRIENDS IN THIS SPACE ready. Particularly not people who we hope still think highly of us.
I have an enormo bin of clothes that the college boys have discarded, Reg has inherited, Reg doesn't want, but WAIT now, (my confused brain) . . . did someone discard this? Have I asked all of them? Does this fit someone? Was this put in here by accident?
It's a confusing bin of never ending-ness. I want to gather my men-folk and get them to claim or forfeit items once and for all. Until Tank is home for fall break, the bin sits in the MIDDLE of my floor, waiting. There are other WTF-happened-here things in my room. Too many to 'splain.
Also, I made a lot of desserts last week for the upcoming tailgate and for Tank, so my house didn't get a proper cleaning. My bathroom? The last place I'd expect anyone who isn't blood related to be.
Me to Curly: DO YOU REMEMBER ME TELLING YOU THAT GIRLFRIEND COULD ONLY HELP YOU WITH MAKEUP DOWNSTAIRS?
Curly: NO. I DON'T. SORRY.
While I was still hyper-ventilating, Ed says: YEAH, I MEAN YOUR BED WAS SUCH A MESS BECAUSE REG WAS SLEEPING THERE AND HE DIDN'T MAKE IT.
What the Hell? Ed was like, YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD, BUT CURLY SAID HE ALWAYS DOES WHEN YOU'RE OUT OF TOWN, SO I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.
What is even happening? Of course I'm counting my lucky stars that my biggest issues while I was away include:
1. Reg sleeping in my bed,
2. Girlfriend, who lives in a spotless castle, pretty literally, hung out in my bathroom that needed a good cleaning,
3. Curly chose this time to try something new with her hair and it looked, well - NOT like it has ever looked and her hair always looks AMAZING, if you catch my drift. She liked it, apparently. It looked wet. Like REALLY wet and it hung down REALLY flat - still curly, because she can't un-curly it.
I was very confused. While in Omaha I looked at the pics on my phone. I gasped LOUDLY and Coach was like WHAT? And then he looked and he GASPED EVEN LOUDER and I wasn't going to say anything to her because it was her call and it was after the fact, but she overheard Ed and I discussing how things went at home, and how Girlfriend can't un-see my bathroom, etc. I was trying to figure out if maybe Girlfriend suggested this new hair approach or if maybe I was the only one who didn't 'get it', but Ed thought it looked less than fabulous too, and now I feel horrible that Curly overheard us.
I told her that all that matters is that she liked it, but she is a teenager and her feelings are hurt and it feels like no amount of apologizing will help. She did later show me later-in-the-evening photos and her hair DID look like it was a bit resuscitated/fluffier.
I had a rough time sleeping in Omaha, but managed because I was able to sleep till almost 9 one morning so I felt fine. In real life, sleeping till 9 isn't an option. I told Coach, "It's fine. I'm gonna see that new GI on Wednesday."
New GI called Monday to cancel my appointment. Someone made a scheduling error. Yadda, yadda.
I broke down crying. "You can't do this to me. You don't understand my situation." I proceeded to tell her my story. Her name was Ernestine. Can you even? Well, Ernestine tried, but she called me back and said she was sorry. The earliest she can get me in: Nov. 8th.In good news, my GP has had me on an acid reducing pill for a few months. I take it in the morning. She suggested I take it in the evening too. Well, I was having the most HORRIFYING, VIVID dreams. I was waking up out of breath. I called the pharmacist and was told to take it BEFORE dinner. My doc told me to take it with dinner. I didn't take it in Omaha because there was not 'before' dinner. Eating was all over the board.
BUT - I've taken it correctly the last three nights and I've had no pain and have slept normally.
We are off to tailgate in South Bend and I have a cart filled with booze and food to prove it.