Five for (well, it isn't Friday, but I work Mon-Thursday, so it FEELS like) Friday

I sort of forgot, or, more or less ran out of time, energy, was distracted, pulled in several different directions, but here we are . . . 

1.  Reg moves into an apartment in Indiana on Sunday. 

Reg pulling the
 mattress out of the van.

Only an hour away, but it isn't a dorm. He needs stuff. I'm hesitant to get him a dresser. He keeps his clothes on the floor at home, so why bother? I'm stalking FB marketplace. Both of the guys he'll be living with are coming from overseas, so not expecting them to have much of the essentials. 

2.  The girls started the new school. 

They love it, so far. This school gives lots of homework. I'm here for it. They won't have computers to do the homework on, so we can send them to a quiet place upstairs since we won't need to stare over their shoulder checking that they're actually doing homework and not just emailing friends or shopping at Target, etc. 

We hope they'll learn the virtues and values that our bio kids grew up with. We want them to learn right from wrong, feel supported in tiny classes, and connect to friends who are being raised with parents who pay attention. We're happy to steer clear of kids whose folks hand them a smart phone, a crop top, and tune out. Of course, we can't keep them in a bubble forever. Crossing our fingers that they learn self confidence and self worth, so that when they go to our public high school they can stand on their own two feet and not just follow the crowd. *cue Dreamer, by Supertramp. 

3.  Then the judge scolded me, and I wanted so badly to explain. 

Court was Tuesday. I zoomed (my presence not required), but warned Grace that I was babysitting, mightn't be 100% attentive. She warned: court doesn't have a set start time - it depends on other cases. I sat there with the window open. At one point, I saw the courtroom, so we were 'live'. I heard them hollering "Rae, Rae, what case are you here for?" 

Rae changed 'Ernie' to 'Rae' on my laptop when she used it once to zoom her therapist and I hadn't noticed/couldn't figure out how to change it/didn't think it mattered. I told them which case I was there for and they stuck me back in the waiting room.

I have not had to use
 the Big Dog, four
 seater in a few years,
but here we are.
 I have a daycare update
 post ready to go. Soon. 

One baby was napping, and 3 tots were playing a few feet from me in the family room. I rarely do nothing, so I hopped on the phone to set up Reg's gas and electric account for the apt. The b-ball program guy asked me handle it. Gas/electric place finished with me and connected me to x-finity to set internet up. I was about done, on hold, she was checking something. BAM - on my laptop, I was out of the waiting room and all the Brady Bunch boxes were court room personnel. I was muted, and felt like an observer. Remember though, I was on hold On.My.Phone, TRYING to be done with the damn x-finity people. 

"Rae, mam, uh - you're gonna have to get off of your phone." ~ says the judge. 

I spent the rest of the time wishing I could explain myself. "I'm not yapping on the phone with a bestie, I'm on hold." 

Besides feeling silly, court went well. The judge wasted no time changing the status to 'sub-care, pending termination of rights.' The next court date, Oct. 1, will sever parental rights. The judge asked, 

    * Did she do any services that were part of her plan while incarcerated? No. 

    * Did she reach out to Grace while incarcerated? No - only contact was when Grace called her, and often she didn't return the call. 

    * Did she contact Grace when she was released? No.  

The lady reading all the notes:  Is it true the girls have gotten letters from the mom? Were the letters appropriate? No. Isn't this unusual for the mom to get a foster parent's address? Yes. Things were starting to wrap up, but no mention of the 'no contact'. I texted Grace. "Please ask for no contact." She asked, and they granted it. Added it to the paperwork, which will be sent to her. 

4.  Later today, I drive to St. Thomas University in St. Paul with Reg. 

It was getting dark, but look
 at this little end table?

Why not throw a college visit into the week of new school for two, apartment gear buying, and adjusting to the many YOUNG littles in my daycare? I wanted to get this visit done before b-ball gets busy for Reg. Every weekend in September is already booked. We're dashing up there early afternoon today (Coach and Curly will be tag teaming to cover nap time). Staying the night. Touring in the am, and bolting home. We'd like to meet with the college coach or his assistant, but not sure if that will happen. We can always send film, I guess. 

5.  What's that at Mary Ann's curb? 

We were losing light, so the colors
are weird, but the loveseat is brown.

Reg and I drove two cars to buy a mattress and box spring. As we drove away, I texted Coach:  Looks like Mary Ann put an end table out at the curb. Go grab it for Reg's apt. I'm not joking. (one of us isn't shy. I'll let you guess who is who). He texted back that he'd grabbed it. Hooray.

When we got home in our caravan of full size mattress/box spring, I noticed a couch and a loveseat at Mary Ann's curb. Hello, timing? Happy to give FB and Good Will a rest. We grabbed the loveseat. The program guy is bringing a couch to the apt. 

Who'd a thought good 'ole Mary Ann would come thru? Ever been scolded by a judge? If you've been here long enough, do you have a favorite Mary Ann tale? What are you up to this weekend?

You've got mail: wait, HOW DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS? Unsettled, not in Seattle

I have a draft about babysitting, but I thought I'd share the latest with the foster girls. We got some unsettling news Saturday morning, which is when I opened the mail from Friday. Bringing you up to speed:  

Back in July when we discovered that the girls had unearthed an old Chromebook of Tank's from high school, our world was rocked. Tank handled checking out what was open, looking at the history, forwarding messages in the email Rae created, changing passwords on social media accounts, etc. He probably told us, "Uh oh, she sent someone our address on FB." But in the thick of things (understatement), that blip didn't really register. The ship was sinking and we were trying to stay afloat. 

Fast forward to the end of July. Grace, the girls' social worker from DCFS, came for a routine visit. She chatted with the girls on the deck while I cleaned the kitchen. I joined them when Grace asked me to come out and chat. 

Unrelated, but check out this little guy on the closest diving board. He's 6, but looks younger. Really short. Future Olympian?

Grace:  The girls have been getting mail. I explained to them that they shouldn't have waited for me to come to the house. They should've talked to you about it.

*I was confused. Mail? I assumed it was mail that had come to her office.

Me:  What mail?

Grace:  Their mom has been sending them letters from jail. They got them out of the mailbox and opened them in their room. 

Me:  WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID SHE GET OUR ADDRESS? 

* the girls played dumb, shrugging. It wasn't until Tank got home from work that he opened Rae's FB. 

Tank:  Remember, Mom. I told you that they send our address to someone on FB. 

I didn't remember. It turned out that Kay (the younger one) reached out to their mom's half sister (HF) on Rae's FB. Come to discover, HF's not a good person. Can't be trusted. HF had msg'd Kay saying, Send me your address, so I can send you some things. (never had any intention of sending them anything. Doesn't have 2 pennies to rub together). 

Kay promptly sent her our address, knowing she wasn't supposed to. She told HF, If anyone asks you, just say you got it from Grandma R. 

Well. That's not something that can be undone. 

Kay suddenly took an interest in getting our mail. She got two letters from her mom in jail, took them up to their room, where she and Rae opened them together. 

That night, Kay was crying in her bed. Curly heard her and asked what was up. 

Kay:  I'm just not sure I'm ready for adoption. 

Curly:  Well, good thing you're living with a good family. I don't think you have to worry about it. It'll take a while anyway. 

At the time, we had no idea where these tears were coming from. The girls shouldn't have opened letters from their mom without an involved adult, because the message is confusing. The mom isn't promising to come get them, but acts like she'll be seeing them soon. According to the girls' biological grandparents, the mom was still using drugs while in jail. Tank was like, HOW? I asked him if he's ever watched the movies. 

Rae knows that they're better off here. She remembers having nothing to eat. She remembers what it was like when the mom left for 30 days at a time, leaving them with older brothers who would sometimes lock them in a room for days at a time. 

Kay romanticizes her former life. She's old enough to remember, but she creates a fantasy where things were better, or will be better. These are children, so wanting to be with a biological mom, regardless of how well she treated them, is natural. I get that. The arrival of these letters and the sneaking of them is unfortunate, because it has complicated things. Fortunately they only saw two letters. We've intercepted the others. 

Grace goes to court Tuesday. She'll be asking for no contact. She's also asking that the judge to sever the mom's rights and change the girls' goal to adoption. 

The girls aren't allowed near our mailbox anymore. Grace contacted the jail to tell them to stop letting her send letters to our home, but she hasn't made any headway. Guess what? It doesn't matter anymore. Why? Well, because another letter arrived on Friday from the mom. She wanted to let the girls know that . . . 

 . . . she's out of jail. 

I called the grandparents.

***So these two have their own story and I keep planning to explain them in a post, but I haven't yet. Suffice it to say, we were not all on the same page May '24 when we got the girls. They pulled some shit that set us back/set the girls back. They didn't get it. We barred them from having any contact with the girls and finally allowed a supervised meet up at a bowling alley in the spring. Baby steps. 

We recently had a serious discussion with them, letting them know all that went on over the summer with the internet, etc. They have changed their tune - they see what we are up against. They admit now that they made mistakes, but that they will follow our lead and do whatever they can to support us. This was HUGE. A big pivot. We feel so much better knowing that they now 'get it'. We met them for pizza (they live about 45 minutes west of us) the night after the 'we got mail' discovery. They reiterated to the girls what Grace, Coach, and I already told them. The mom is not able to care for them. Sneaking letters and hiding them from Coach and I was a mistake, etc. ***

I hoped 'I'm outta jail' was a lie. Grace has assured us from DAY 1 that the mom would be in jail for a LONG time. She's out 14 mos after the girls moved in. Since when is 14 months a long time? 

The grandparents confirmed that she's free. They don't think she'll try to come see the girls. But THIS WOMAN AND HER THUG FRIENDS KNOW WHERE WE LIVE. We've lived in this house for over 16 years. Do we move? Do we need a restraining order? Who gets the restraining order, us or does Grace set that up? 

All that to say:  THIS IS A CHALLENGING SITUATION. 

The first question I had for Grace before we accepted the placement:  Will the mom in jail ever know where we live? NOPE.

I guess no one could've predicted the girls would reach out to a questionable relative on FB, because they didn't have a phone and no one mentioned that they already had social media accounts. 

It's hard for me not to be upset with Kay for giving out our address when she knew she wasn't supposed to. Did she get the repercussions? No, I'm sure not. She's hard to bond with, and this setback really has boiled my blood. She tends to be irritating. We hope that that'll change. Rae knew using that computer was wrong. She's not blameless in this. Grandma R says she had a hard time keeping the girls off of the internet when they lived with her for 8 months before they came here. Why didn't anyone tell us this tidbit, so we could be more vigilant? AND - Grace told us that the girls had a fairly normal upbringing until very recently, and we now know that that was no where near true. 

Coach saw a strange man and woman sitting in their car looking at our house during the day last week. I'm angry and I'm frightened. Who might show up here?

We don't attend court on Tuesday, only Grace does. Grace isn't available on the weekends, so I'm anxious to talk to her today about the fact that the mom is out of jail. 

Meanwhile the girls are shadowing at the very pricey, very small Catholic school today. We aren't waving the white flag, but their mom (who lives in another state) knowing where we live is concerning. Does it make sense to invest in their education? Is the judge going to give the mom custody back (I highly doubt that is possible, but we've not always been given all the info)? Stay tuned. 

'big' girl getaway highlights, eating out with Curly, internet: "Try dogfood", & New $chool?

Recap weekend away with 'big' girls:  Mini and Curly and I escaped to Lake Geneva for an overnight Aug. 11th. We left Sunday morning and returned Monday night. SO much fun. I feel rejuvenated. One daughter likes to shop (Mini), one daughter likes to lay by the pool (Curly). 

What can I say? I cannot deny the lineage. 

Curly's brain:  Where's the pizza?

We ate dinner out Sunday and lunch out Monday. Curly, almost exclusively, eats a burger when eating out. *sigh* She struggled at the restaurant that we chose for dinner. It had decent salads for me. I urged her to go with the crab cakes. She got a flatbread, arugula, goat cheese pizza. She wasn't crazy about it. Liked Mini's crab cakes better, but wasn't wild about those either. 

Bottom line:  she was wearing a resting-where's-the-beef-face. Mini insisted she not pout as I end up eating something I'm not crazy about ALL.THE.TIME. 

Last year we ate at more of a 'serves food in basket' type place, and I got a salad that was some iceberg lettuce with nothing else redeeming to mention. The waitress didn't know what gluten was. I rest my case. 

My salad. Tasty and different
and I lived to tell about it. 

As a result, I opted for more upscale. I didn't love my salad, not because it was gross but because it seemed like I was furrowing around in Nicole's garden (hi Nicole) and eating unfamiliar raw veggies. I'm not opposed to branching out (I may have even ingested a branch), so I was trying something unusual and was wearing a 'look at me, this is a salad I would never make myself and I'm pleased about it' face. 

When we arrived at the restaurant, Curly had to use the bathroom. She went inside while Mini and I sat at our outdoor table across the street from the lake. Lovely.

Curly came back a second later. "I opened the bathroom door, and a guy was sitting on the toilet. So embarrassing. I'm not waiting to use that bathroom and I still need to pee. Who doesn't lock the bathroom door? Weirdo!" 

She went to another restaurant to use the restroom, and returned as our waiter was greeting us. After he walked away, Curly leaned forward and hissed, THAT'S THE GUY THAT WAS ON THE TOILET. HE'S OUR WAITER. I CAN'T EAT HERE. Mini and I died. The drama. All that to say, Curly wasn't necessarily feeling it prior to being forced to eat a non-burger pizza that wasn't the kind of pizza she enjoys. 

Mini's NJ fake sufficed and she and I ordered an adult beverage, even though Curly probably needed one more than either of us. 

We shopped both days and found some great deals on the sale racks, but not as many as last year. I tried on a dress that was so cute on the hangar, but as we zipped it up and realized it was REALLY tight, it became abundantly clear that it was for someone 3 decades younger than me.

Mini:  Eek, take that off. You look so trashy. (she wasn't wrong)

This is the pic the day after Mini cleaned
her room (freaked out because she thought
 she had bedbugs). I sent it to Curly when she
 was away at camp, because in the process her
 brand new t-shirt, a shirt she hadn't seen
 since she'd gotten it at b-ball camp, was
 unearthed. I should've posted
 this photo the other day. 

I bought Curly a Homecoming dress. Praying Coach doesn't have a heart attack at the length, but our girls are tall and dresses are really short. Hoping we can find some booty shorts or something, so she can bend over without flashing everyone. Open to suggestions. 

We relaxed in the hot tub and watched a dumb movie that made us laugh before WWIII broke out. After Mini landed on the floor, it became abundantly clear that my sweet daughters could not share a bed. Where's a dollhouse bunkbed when you need it? 

I ordered Curly into my bed, so I could go to sleep. She thought I was laying a guilt trip on her and I was NOT. 

Me:  I promise to kick you out if you keep me awake, just crawl in my bed so I can go to sleep. 

ice cream flavors:  decisions, decisions

There were no incidents and I slept like a baby, with my baby. I cannot say which of the girls was acting like a baby as I refused to pay attention to their 'my side of the bed' spat. 

We ended our Monday shopping spree with ice cream, of course before driving home. The variety of ice cream flavors left Mini so conflicted, it was comical. 

SIBO:  trying the low FODMAP diet. In other words, I'm hungry. 

I texted SIBO Lady a second time, after our mutual friend, Becky, said SIBO Lady felt bad she hadn't responded and felt weird reaching out after so much time. I, desperate as I am, didn't feel weird re-reaching out. This time she filled me in on what she's tried and how things are going. She did the low FODMAP diet for 6 months. How is this possible? Now she knows some triggers and tries to avoid them. That's my goal. 

I started eliminating foods high in FODMAPs Aug. 15th, but I'm not 100% high FODMAP free yet, because guess what . . . onion, garlic, and high fructose corn syrup is in everything. I've joined Thrive an online market that seems to cater to food allergies, etc. 

When I searched Thrive for onion and garlic free chicken broth, it suggested dog food. I think I can make my own. Chicken broth. Not dog food. Special salad dressing, BBQ sauce, and chicken broth are what I need to eat a meal minus the onion and garlic. I think I ordered a BBQ sauce on Thrive, while passing on the dog food, but I was tired when so I'll be interested to see what arrives. I'm trying to identify a dairy free, Greek yogurt that isn't gross, so if you have a brand you like - lmk. 

My plan - wean myself off the antidepressant, because it's depressing me. Weight gain and still having symptoms? I AM sleeping and if I try this and my sleep suffers, at least I know this med is an option. Hoping to identify triggers and go from there. 

New school?  The girls took a test today at the tiny Catholic school that we are considering. Fingers crossed that the school decides to give us a break, because $7K each is a bit steep. We like the small class size, that they teach virtues, that there aren't 3 million retakes, that they'll place the girls in classes that are appropriate for where they are academically, and that there's zero technology/no students are allowed to have a phone in school.

We drive Mini to ND on Friday. I'll be lost without her home. *sigh* 

This post was brought to you by naptime, when I managed to get 5 babies/tots to sleep at the same time, without drugging them, while 1 preschooler entertained herself in the family room. Updates on the daycare happenings on Monday. 

What's  your super power?  Do you eat out with someone who only orders xyz?

Mini isn't fake, Unbitten with all my MITE, & I'm hosting book club: send recipes, please

Sign of the times:  When I was in Louisville with Curly in July, I got a text from Mini: 

credit:  Yarn

When are you gonna be home? I think I left all of my fake IDs in that brown bag and Maddy is flying in tonight. I'm meeting her in the city.

Well, well. This is a very interesting situation, isn't it. I texted her back that the coach/dad of one of Curly's besties on the team drove us, so I really wasn't in control of when we'd head back. 

AND, for the record, I reminded Mini that I told her, after she borrowed my bag for her July 4th weekend to the DC area to hang with her college besties, to empty my bag because I would need it for Louisville. 

She failed to do that (shock). I packed in frantic, freak-out style since our ride picked us up like 36 hours after the very-bad, horrible issue we had with the foster girls and I was DEE-stracted. 

Right before our ride arrived, I ran into the big girls' room**, grabbed my cute, brown bag, and dumped its contents on the floor. Unbeknownst to me, her fakes remained tucked snuggly in the outside pocket of the bag. 

Her friend, who flew in town, leant her a different fake, because we ended up hanging by the pool all afternoon in Louisville and it was delightful and relaxing. 

I try to imagine what my mom would've said decades ago if I casually mentioned my collection of fake IDs had been left in a bag I borrowed from her. While many people had them, I did not have a fake ID back in my day. Pretty confident that any misplaced fake IDs, that I didn't have, would've disappeared forever. 

Mini will turn 21 while in Florence, so she only has one more semester on campus of not being of age. 

**the 'big' girls' room looks more like a little girls' room, thanks to the doll house bunkbed they still sleep in. Raising my hand as the reason for this, because I never swapped out their furniture for something more age appropriate. My folks never bought my siblings or I new furniture and we all slept in twin beds all throughout college. 

Believe it or not, this is AFTER the big clean up. But this is a few weeks after, so seeing the carpet is an improvement. Old habits die hard. It's still messy, but an organized mess. Curly is part pack-rat, but she makes neat piles of her stuff. Whereas Mini, 100% messy. All.the.time.

I saw a really cute full size bed with a trundle on FB market place a month ago. I saved it, but when I came back it was gone. Struggling to pull the trigger on this as Mini and Curly won't be living here much longer. Curly takes over Mini's full size bed when she's away at college. 

Unbitten with all my MITE:  When cicadas blanketed our area, I assumed most locations were dealing with the same thing. Come to find out, nope - not everyone had them. Well, we are now dealing with an aftermath situation. I'm curious to know who else is dealing with this same thing?

Mini started complaining that she was getting bitten in her bed. I asked her to not necessarily read the room, but to clean the room. We wondered if there was some spider who was feasting on her every dang night. 

Remind me the next time her room is a disaster to tell her I saw some bugs colonizing in the heaps of clothes on the floor, because she promptly cleaned the heck out of her room. We are talking deep cleaning, diving into the piles, and stripping the bed, pulling it out from under the doll house structure (well, Reg did that for her, and Coach flipped her mattress). 

Still, the bites continued. 

Coach mentioned he'd been bitten while sleeping, too. At first, I didn't connect the dots. I share a bed with Coach and I had no bites. Maybe it happened when he was outside. 

Things became clearer, as they often do, when Coach's patient enlightened him. These mites, who feed off of cicada larvae, are able to get through screens. They're supposedly not visible or not easily visible. After spending about 4 hours on someone's body, they bite, leaving itchy welts. Showering doesn't help remove them. Doctors are seeing loads of bitten patients. There's nothing that can be done, but they'll be gone in another week or two. 

What's weird is that I have not gotten ONE bite. The fam believes that's because I'm too leathery (they're just jealous of my tan), or too old, or too dirty, or too smelly. You name it, they've tried to create a reason I'm unbitten. I live with a swarm of comedians, or more accurately a swarm of mites and tasty family members. 

Guess who's having the last laugh here? As they count up their bites and compare notes (everyone now has bites, except for me), I cannot help but chuckle. So crazy. 

When Mini went to bed last night, she called to me:  GOOD-MITE. 

Recipes needed, PLEASE:  I'm hosting book club at my house on Thursday, and I'm looking to up my dessert and appetizer game. I'm not a fancy lady, though I aspire to at least pretend to be on Thursday. Can you help? 

Book club rotates each month to different homes throughout the year. When I host, I typically serve my family favorite appetizers, but I'm looking for suggestions to try something new. I'm always blown away by the amazing desserts the other hosts serve. Last year, I believe I offered Cherry Dessert. I might have also baked Rocky Road Fudge Bars. Anyone have an amazing dessert they'd like to share?  

My go-to appetizers are 7 layer taco dip and cowboy caviar. I also make a decent cheese ball. Are cheese balls too 70's? You all know I don't get out much, but when I have lately, I'm noticing these charcuterie type spreads. So very yummy and so adult-esque. I'm clueless when it comes to various jams, figs, and crackers, etc. Great vegetable dips, or spreads, and interesting pairings I should be aware of? I'm not a Trader Joe's regular, but I can be brave and venture there if you suggest I purchase items from there. 

* Your suggestions do not have to be gluten free. 

Maybe I'll remember to look back here before I write my next few posts.   reminder to self:  recap the weekend away with the two 'big' girls, me trying the FODMAP thing and finally hearing back to the woman I know with SIBO, ANOTHER tot added to my daycare at the last minute, my long overdo graduating-tot-book gift making, the microwave repair guy, Mini's big caddy tip (thanks to Florence), a September high school friend gathering, and will we transfer the foster girls' to a different school? 

********

Did your bedroom furniture get an upgrade when you aged, or did you adjust your kids' bed situation? Would your folks be upset if  you had a fake ID? Do you have mites in your area, and if so, are you getting bitten or are you like me? What is your favorite dessert or appetizer/charcuterie recipe? 

summery outings, ice cream arguments, caddy conversations, & stranger invitations

We'd been looking for fun summery things to do as the summer wrapped up. Since we went to Florida for spring break, we opted not to do an official summer vacation. We were, of course, in South Carolina for travel ball and spent 3 jam packed days with cousins locally over the 4th of July. As we were on a quest to do a few things, we opted for a few outings. 

One Friday night at the end of July, Coach and I took the four girls to the Riverwalk  in Naperville, a nearby suburb of Chicago. While there, we got some ice cream at a place called Jeni's. I thought initially that this store wasn't a chain, and I'm all about a mom and pop type place. Mini pointed out that the place was indeed a chain. If nothing else, this proves that I don't get out much. Anyway, while the ice cream was delish, I don't think we'll go back.

Coach and the girls on the Riverwalk

I'm not guaranteeing that I have the details correct. How's that for selling a story? Well, the menu was confusing. Mini knows the details and she's the family member who has officially sworn off Jeni's. I'm too lazy to hunt my oldest, tallest daughter down to ask her to remind me how weird it was.

I think:  the scoops were sold in two scoop increments. No where on the menu board did it offer one scoop as an option. Huh? (alternatively, it was sold in 1/2 scoop increments, but that just doesn't sound right). Anyway, Mini and Curly were fine sharing a 2 scoop treat, because to purchase a two scoop ice cream practically meant that we needed to take out a 2nd mortgage on the house. The older girls then suggested that I get a scoop of something GF, and the scooper-girl told them they couldn't split a two scoop order. She was gonna upcharge them for wanting two different flavors.

OK, there's no way this is accurate, but rest assured. Mini, who can argue and win no matter what the topic, was schooling this scooping girl at her attempt to rip us off. It was honestly comical and I apologize for not having better deets, but that was what made it so funny. Mini was FIRED UP. She was pleasant when addressing her ice cream scooping server, but turning around to where Coach and I were leaning up against a wall she was full of 'faces.' While polite, she was also like YEAH, SO THIS IS WRONG and we chuckled as we walked along the river back to the car licking our liquid-gold-equivalent ice cream. 

As we neared the car, we spotted a pool, but this was not just an ordinary pool. I, the pool-lover that I am, was like WAIT, WHAT IS THIS AND WHY HAVE I NOT BEEN MADE AWARE OF IT BEFORE NOW?

Turns out, it was an old quarry in Naperville that was converted into a swimming pool/beach combo thing. It looked super cool. A few days later, Coach took the afternoon off, and he, Reg, Mini, Curly, Kay, and Rae scraped together what was left after that 2nd mortgage and coughed up enough green to hang out there on a crazy hot day. 

It was only 25 minutes from home, but extra pricey for us - non-Naperville residents. So very tempting to get a membership for next summer, but I know that if it isn't within a 7 mile radius of our house we won't use it. 

*I hope you don't think less of me, but I did want Coach to claim we were Naperville residents, because I doubted that they were going to look at his ID. He wasn't up for any funny business. 

While I was reading my book on my blanket on the grass (there was also sand, but the sand could be avoided and I do think that's my preference. I also think it's high time the Shenanigan family invest in some of those low-sitting beach chairs. Why are we so lacking in beach comfort items?), I noticed the beautiful stone structure that houses the life guards. Every few hours, the life guards ask everyone to clear the water, so they can do a safety check. During this time they also test swimmers who want to earn a wristband and gain access to the deep area. 

Watching the life guards dash here and there and joke around, I decided that herein lies an amazing summery screenplay. Think Caddy Shack meets Bay Watch, but the Bay Watch portion would be young life guards with normal teen issues. 

'Guard House' a movie, coming to
 theaters near you, someday?

Speaking of Caddy Shack, our ripe-with-caddy-and-golfer-antics dinner discussions are unparalleled joyous occasions filled with laughter and arguments about who interrupted who, because people have THINGS TO SAY. This evening (Wednesday) we heard about a group of business men who dragged an unwilling woman participant from the comfort of her accountancy office and insisted that she play a round of golf. 

Reg was her caddy, or as Tank put it - Reg went for a walk today, because what he was doing wasn't caddying. At one point, Reg had to ask her to face her body in the other direction so that she was facing the hole. Tank was caddying in the same group, which was great because he was able to give us his perspective on Reg's experience.

Reg apparently said to this woman:  Yeah, so a lot of times trying to learn a sport when you're older makes it really hard. 

And he still made $200. That by the way, was Tank's version of events. After they disputed who was interrupting who, Reg insisted that he said something like that at first, but then he cleaned it up with:  I mean, it's hard to get experience playing a new sport after you're like over 21. (not sure where he's getting his research from, but way to recover). 

Later that same week, Coach and I took Curly, Rae, and Kay to the beach in the city. It kills me, like KILLS me, but after we got to the beach, I texted Ed. He was coming home from the city on Sunday, but ubers are pricey and I wondered if he'd want to hop in with us after our beach time. This was Saturday though and I doubted he'd want to miss a Saturday night in the city. The beach we were at was not too far from his apartment. He texted back to say, THIS IS CRAZY. I JUST WALKED THRU THE ZOO PARKING LOT (that's where we parked) ON MY WAY HOME FROM THE FARMER'S MARKET. I COULD'VE BUMPED INTO YOU. 

Beach downtown Chicago on a Saturday.
 How nuts it would've been to bump into Ed.

*sob, sob, sob. I so wished I'd texted him when we were on our way and not after we'd found a spot on the beach.  

This post is getting long, but the whole point of the post was to share this:  I heard a couple of girls on a beach towel next to us and they were clearly from Ireland. When Coach left to get the car, I walked over and asked where they were from. We chatted a bit, they laughed HOW DID 'YA KNOW WE WERE FROM IRELAND? So silly. I got their number in case they needed anything while they were here. I explained that I studied in Ireland my junior year at college and my two friends came over and stayed with my family and worked summer jobs here. 

They texted me afterward to say Nice meeting you, and that they were heading home August 10th. *not much time was left to their stay.  

Will it shock you to learn that we hosted the two of them for a dinner on Thursday, August 8th? My parents enjoy meeting folks from the homeland, so they joined us. My kids (except for Tank) thought I was crazy, but afterward? Everyone admitted - SO MUCH FUN. More details later, if I remember. 

*********

Do you own the right gear for the beach? Would you have said Naperville residents? Would you have invited strangers from the beach over for dinner? Are we the only family with interrupting issues? Have you heard of Jeni's?

Only Tank, Mini's latest kitchen mishap, and a last minute roster add on

Tank works his internship during the week, and caddies most weekends. This might come as a shock to you, but this kid likes to make money. Last weekend, Mini was at a friend’s lake house. Curly was at Young Life Camp. Reg was caddying in a tournament that Tank would’ve caddied in, if it hadn’t started on a Friday. He didn’t want to take a day off of his internship to caddy. So, he went to the pool with me and the two little girls, because he hadn’t spent a ton of time just hanging with me. 

I admit that I was a little preoccupied about finding enough families to fill at least most of the slots of my daycare. 

Giving Tank no context, he and I got into the pool, and I said, “I just want like one more kid.”

Tank tilted his head to the side, and without missing a beat, said, “Um, I think that’s a conversation for you, Dad, and your medical doctor.”

I laughed so long and hard, it’s a wonder I didn’t drown. When I could speak again, I explained to him that I was hoping to get one more kid in my daycare. 

A few nights later, we were sitting around watching the Olympics. I’d just gotten home from my writing group. Coach goes to bed early a few nights a week, because he gets up at like 4:30 am to go to work. He does managerial stuff before he starts seeing patients. I have an old injury in my wrist and I recently tweaked it. It isn’t broken, per Coach. It isn’t impossible to do things, but it's bugging me. When Coach looked at it last week, he said he could try some tape on it. 

That night, I plopped on the couch, turned to Coach and asked, “Do you have any tape for my wrist?”

He sort of wilted, as in - this is my time off and yet someone always has a body part he/she wants me to look at. He was off the clock and it was time for him to go to bed, BUT - no one else in the room realized that he’d recently told me that he’d get me some tape. 

Tank:  I think we should get Dad some adult diapers, feed him some Chipotle, and wait for things to happen. Then Dad needs to poop in his diaper and ring a bell or something, so Mom knows he needs to be changed. 

Get it? Tank felt that since I was asking Coach to work in his time off, then Coach could require me to perform my babysitting duties in my time off. Once again, we howled. Fortunately, Coach does not plan to put that suggestion into action. 

Oh yeah, AND Coach and
 I celebrated our
28th anniversary
Saturday night at
 my fav restaurant,
Wildfire. They
 treated us to this flourless
cake. So tasty. 

Mini update:  last week I took the little girls into the city when I had to see my rheumatologist. We got home and Rae said, “Why is this on?” 

The flame on the burner was on. Really low, but still ON! Alarming. Guess who the culprit was? Mini. She’d made herself some scrambled eggs about an hour before, then went to get in the shower, leaving the burner on low. 

I rest my case. This girl cannot be trusted in the kitchen. 

I drove to pick up Mini and her friends from the train late Friday night. When I was going to bed, I noticed that a mom, 'Linda', had just posted an SOS on FB. She planned to send her 2 kids to a commercial daycare and she was having 2nd thoughts. She’s a teacher. Only needed two days. I really wanted to climb into bed since it was midnight, but I commented on her post. By the morning, two of the moms I sit for had also commented to recommend me. 

Linda came to meet me Saturday afternoon. One of her friends 'Bella' had met with me over a year ago. Bella, who had hoped to find a teaching job closer to home so she could send her kids to my house, had been urging Linda to reach out to me. After we met, Linda went home to discuss with her hubby. She texted me Sunday morning and confirmed that she'll be sending her kids to me. 

Mini, Curly, and I headed to Lake Geneva yesterday for one night. We did this last year, so we've decided to make it a tradition. Rae and Kay can join us when they get to be old enough. We are having a great time, sitting by the pool, shopping, and eating out. I start daycare Aug. 20th. Curly goes back to school Aug. 15th, and Mini goes back to ND Aug. 23rd. 

Trying to squeeze as much fun out of the last days of summer as possible. 

since when is the U-S-of-A not a country? & more nonsense

I wasn’t going to blog about frustrating phone calls/auto fill issues today, but I find myself ill prepared to chat about anything else. Poking fun at these issues might make me feel less Like I Might Punch Something or Someone. 

#1: Since when is United States not a country?  Reg’s b-ball program arranges for apartments. Two teammates who share a bedroom pay $400/month. Guy who wants his own bedroom: $800/month. Needless to say, a budget conscious kid who is accustomed to sharing a room with 2 brothers says, ANYONE WANNA ROOM WITH ME? *we're hoping no one catches wind (get it?) of his stanky gas problem - to be discussed in a later post. Get excited. 

Reg's first-choice-kid is wealthy, so he declined - wanting his own room. Reg's  second choice opted to commute from home as he doesn’t live too far from the gym. The 3rd kid, 'Tray' agreed. 

The program's head Guy texted me:  This'll be Reg's apt. He'll be rooming with two kids from overseas.

HUH? 

Apparently Tray found a family friend nearby the gym to live with, but hadn't yet informed Reg of his change of plans. Guessing Tray's b-ball skills are better than his communication skills. 

That all equates to Reg sharing a 2 bedroom with two kids, all fine, but the price is now:  $465/month. Dang. 

Ed's girlfriend's extended family is from this town. I asked if they know anyone willing to rent out a spare room, etc. Ed was not thrilled with my ask, but hey - you never know, I wasn't expecting Reg to bunk with her grandma or anything.  

Guy texted yesterday, needing a response. By end of day, no other options materialized, so I said HE'LL LIVE IN THE APT. This morning Guy texted me to hurry up and fill out the application. I tried it on my phone, but ran into trouble when inputting current address.  Autofill stuck United States in the country spot. Well done, autofill, but I got the below message: 

Autofill:  United States is not a 

valid response for country. 

News to me. I know things are a little touch and go here in the land of the free, but I was confused. I tried USA, America, Ireland (just to see). Then I tried county, thinking country was a typo on the form. No luck. I sent the link to my desktop, assuming my phone was messed up af. Same weird response. 

Maybe while we wait for the form to be fixed, someone'll reach out with a spare room (with good ventilation) for Reg. 

#2.  Oh, Merrill, where are my forms? I'll spare you the details of the fifty thousand Merrill Lynch papers I've signed, printed, read over, emailed, and pretended to understand . . . in conjunction with my uncle's estate. My sister, Marie, is a CFP so she took the lead on managing all of it. It was a lot of work, and I'm grateful. There may have been some instances of financial-know-how-muscle-flexing, but I promise I managed to grin and bare those entertaining moments like a grown up who refused to let it get under my skin.

Merrill called me about a week after I submitted my forms thru a secure email. 

Merrill:  We never got . . . 

Me:  YES, YOU DID! 

The lady (after putting me on hold): Oh, found them. Now we're just waiting for your brother Pat's account to be set up.

I cracked my dad up the next day:  I've been waiting my whole life for someone to tell me I did something before Pat. 

Then Marie texted me this week. Merrill couldn't proceed because I hadn't uploaded my forms. WHAT NOW? Marie told me the same thing happened to Pat. 

I hadn't outdone Mr. Perfect after all.

I found where I'd saved my forms, relieved that I didn't have to refill 9 pages, and resent them. When the lady confirmed today that she had my forms, I wrote down her name and the date. Fool me once. 

#3.  Call on the 7th. When our credit card was compromised recently I had to call Walmart T-Family mobile because unfortunately that's where we get our phone service. They can only put 5 phones on one plan, so we have 2 plans. Coach updated the cc for one account, but forgot about the other one. When Mini and Reg lost service, I called. It took forever to update the credit card. 

When I had them on the phone, I asked why some of the kids have very little data. Turns out, Tank, Reg, and Mini only had 5G of data and the rest of us had 40G. I asked to update our plans and was told to call back on the 7th. I wrote the date on my calendar. 

On the 7th, I called with the reference number and everything. The first guy told me that I called a day too late. "Shoulda called on the 6th, because since the phone service renewed on the 7th, we can't change the plan till next month." 

What? *then our call got dropped. Ironic?

I called again (because even though they had my number, they didn't call me back. Grrr). I got a different lady. She wasn't getting it. Talked about new SIM cards, etc. Finally, she said she'd update the plans. She wanted to know if I had the phones with me. Um, NO. She was stuck on the fact that I hadn't called on the 6th. She wasn't going to reimburse me for the plan we bought for the month. Basically we were going to pay for two plans for those phones, since we hadn't changed the plan the day before. 

I about lost my everlasting mind. I was like IT'S CALLED CUSTOMER SERVICE. I told her I wanted to speak to her supervisor. She was the end of the line, there was no one else to talk to. I reminded her that I was told to call on the 7th, and that she ought to reimburse me for the packages, because someone at her company misspoke. Eventually she said she would reimburse me. I'll believe it when I see it. 

**********

Have you gotten stuck on a weird computer glitch that wouldn't let you complete a form the right way? Have you dealt with a business that had poor customer service? 

You have choices: the crazy parenting addition (part 1) & bonus: soft sculpture photo

The first family I sat for (in these, my at home daycare days) started in Aug of 2015. Lad was launching his senior year in high school. Curly was 7. This was not my first rodeo. I'm an old school kind of parent. It's my way or the high way. I'm large and in charge. I'm also a shit-ton of fun, remember - I used to drag race my obnoxious neighbor Mary Ann to our Catholic grade school, and my kids thought I might be the coolest. They weren't wrong. 

This first family I sat for had one 2 yo boy and another due in October. One day at drop off, I told the dad, "We might go to the zoo today, but if it rains we will go to the library."

The dad, bent down and told young Hank in his best customer service voice, "Hey Hank, it sounds like you have choices."

Well, no sirree, Bob. Hank had no choices. 

I was in charge. I was making the decisions. The weather and my energy level would dictate where we might go. I shared this dad's approach to my children . . . who will undoubtedly be the world's best parents to young children because they've seen every mistake parents make, including but not limited to: 

1.  lingering too long at drop off (rip off the Band-Aid and just leave!) 

2.  letting their kids bring toys from home into my house because the kid didn't want to part with it, even though toys from home are not welcome here. (I'm not mean and horrible, but I don't want to find the driver that goes with your toy car and I cannot be responsible for another kid breaking it, etc.)

My offspring STILL say this special, memorable phrase. Tank probably says it the most. If I list off a few options for dinner on leftover night, Tank will chime in using a mocking, sing-songy voice:  

HEY HANK, SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE CHOICES. 

Hank's mother now substitute teaches at the kids' high school. She was very supportive of Reg during the whole lawsuit mess. She texted me one day to say that kids were sitting right in front of her desk, discussing the lawsuit. It was 3 kids. They were talking smack about Reg. 

Her biggest frustration was that one kid was complaining that when Reg has the answers, he won't share them. 

Unrelated:  remember when I said I was
gonna teach the two newbie girls to do
soft sculpture. Our first efforts. They
 could use a little hair, but it's a start.

Hank's Mom:  I love that they are slamming Reg for having academic integrity. 

I asked Ms. Hank to share their names with me, and I forwarded the list to Curly, who handled it. Curly is not afraid of anyone. She walked up to Jerk face and told him what for. Best not to mess with a Shenanigan, because you never know when a former babysitting client might be listening. 

I invited the Hank family to Reg's party, because we were so appreciative of people who 'got' it, and who offered so much support. 

I hadn't seen the kids in a few years. My kids have babysat for them now and then, but we don't cross paths often. Her two boys are like 11 and 9 and she has a 5 year old little girl. They're so cute. 

BUT - holy bad behavior. They weren't here 5 minutes before my kids were coming whispering to me that Hank and company were messing with my dumbbells that are stored behind the TV. I walked into the family room. The mom was nodding at them, smiling as they hoisted the 10 lbs weights around. I was like, Sorry, these aren't for you. 

Then they climbed in Coach's recliner. Reclined it fully and rocked it back and forth until it was leaning on it's footrest, almost perpendicular to the floor. 

Me:  (while the mother was standing at my elbow) Whoa boys, this is Coach's favorite chair and it really isn't supposed to be used like this.

I got them to tuck the footrest in and it was fine. 

Tank later imitated her boys eating chips at the kitchen table. Were they trying to see who could land the largest chip particles on the floor instead of in their mouth? One was left to wonder. I saw it too, from my spot on the other side of the island. The parents standing off to the side, were perhaps thinking: HANK HAS CHOICES. HE CAN SCATTER CHIP BITS ON THE FLOOR OR HE CAN EAT SAID CHIPS. 

********

I'm about to begin my 10th year operating my in-home daycare, primarily for school teachers. A woman responded to my text over the weekend. We interviewed one another in the spring and she was on confirmed for one day a week. 

Me:  I start up on Aug. 20th. 

She texted back:  Oh, a relative retired, I won't be needing you anymore.

Hey, bullet dodged probably and thank heavens she was only tying up 1 day, but WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? *please share your answers in the comments - much appreciated

Will I survive this, the 10th year of sitting? 

retry: feed the masses, salad bar & taco salad (referencing Tobia's summer salad challenge) and Mini moments in the kitchen

I've been reading about Tobia's Summer Salad Challenge all over the blogosphere, so I thought I'd mention a few salad options we've enjoyed lately. I admit to liking a salad, and eating a small cobb salad for lunch each day. I'm not all that adventurous, but I do enjoy a big salad prepared for me at a restaurant.

Recently taco salad has become our favorite meal. I browned a bunch of turkey meat and brought all the components along on our trip to SC. Prepared to feed an army. 

The first night in SC, I served the potato and veggie sheet pan dish (posting recipe at the end of this post - not really a salad, but we love it) I made till 1 am before we left along with Italian Beef to Curly's team and the few parents who were in town for that tournament. I had so much beef leftover, that the next night we brought it (reheated in the crockpot and how did my mother survive without using a crockpot EVER?) to my BIL's house - home to 9 children, talk about feeding an army. We fed all of them and gave them the leftovers. 

Was I feeling very loaves and fishes-ish? Yes, I really was. How could five 4.5 pound Italian Beef containers from Costco feed that many peeps? I think the answer is my male eaters, aside from Coach, weren't on this trip.

I intended to offer to feed the team the next night as well, but the team had rented a lake house and I didn't want them to feel obligated to eat all of their meals with us. #givecurlyspace

Oh, and in case you aren't putting the pieces together, I find it funny that we hosted a few parties while staying at my in-laws' SC town home. They summer in Chicago. 

"Thanks for letting us use your place. We had a couple parties while hanging there."

I invited the team over again (the night after we ate Italian Beef leftovers with cousins) and served them a couple of pans of Pizza  Casserole (a family favorite, rich in gluten) that I also prepped before we left. *We traveled with two big coolers. The frozen Italian Beef kept the coolers cold on the 12 hour drive. 

The meal that I never served the team was taco salad. I put enough of it (keeping all the various components separate) in a smaller cooler so we could eat it on our ride home and avoid having to stop. Curly's last game ended at 5 and we drove 6 ours that night. 

This pic is a blurry photo of me enjoying my taco salad in the car after serving the four other passengers. 

Before we drove to SC, Mini crushed the Doritos for the taco salad for me, as she is mostly helpless in the kitchen this was the task I figured she could manage. We keep trying and haven't given up hope yet that Mini will one day prepare/contribute to a meal and not leave us all fearful that the house will burn to the ground or that we will all end up with salmonella. We do chuckle at how consistently she fails in the kitchen. 

Another Mini moment:  Monday night I cooked chicken in the crockpot. I've recently soured on chicken taco meat cooked in the crockpot. I wish this wasn't the case, because it's SO easy. But, alas. I'm not alone. Other kids residing here want to gag at the mere mention of chicken tacos. I blame myself. It was a recent discovery and I was bitter that I'd not known of this gem of an easy recipe for years. Perhaps, I overdid it. A teensy bit. 

I cooked chicken in chicken broth after rubbing olive oil and some spices on each piece. Since I'm predisposed to prep meals as if feeding an multitudes of hungry people, I used lots of frozen chicken. By the time I was done, my poor digits were about as frozen as the chicken breasts. I do not recommend. 

My point, exhibit A:  I told Mini to open a can of black beans. She mistakenly opened a can of kidney beans. Asking afterwards, Wait, is this right? I recognize that kidney beans can be eaten in a salad, but we were looking for black beans. 

Anyway, I cut up cucumbers, tomatoes, hard boiled eggs, and also offered corn, black beans, tortilla chips, shredded cheese, salsa, romaine hearts (Costco has huge bags of Romaine hearts, but once the bag is opened it don't last long - ask me how I know this) and various dressings. I instructed the kids to grab some chicken and create their own salad. Ed was in town from the city for the night, because of an early dentist appointment near our home. He gave the salad bar theme a thumbs up. 

For my dinner, I went the southwest route but opted for no dressing, because no dressings in our fridge meshed with that theme. 

The night before we left for SC, a few weeks prior to the salad-bar-for-dinner night, Mini asked what she can do to help me get ready to leave for SC. I tasked her with breaking up the Doritos. She was unsupervised, an oversight on my part but in my defense, I didn't think crunching Doritos was all that challenging.  Exhibit B:  Mini turned the Doritos into dust, which was fine - still edible. I was like WAY TO TAKE YOUR TASK SERIOUSLY, SISTER. 

Is there anyone in your home that struggles in the kitchen? Eaten any great salads lately? 

ROASTED MEDITERRANEAN VEGETABLES AND POTATOES

2 ½ squash

2 ½ zucchini

1 ½ green pepper

1 ½ red pepper

1 ½ onions

5 medium size potatoes

2 cloves garlic

4-6 TB balsamic vinegar

4-6 TB olive oil

1  ½ tsp basil

1 ½ tsp oregano

1 ½ tsp chives

Preheat the oven to 425.

In a shallow baking dish combine potatoes, peppers, onions, and other vegetables. 

Whisk together the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, basil, oregano, chives, garlic, and salt and pepper.

Drizzle sauce over the mixed vegetables and toss to coat.

Cook for 45 min or less, stir halfway through.

_________________________________________

*something weird happened to my post: I'm reposting it and adding the comments that were posted on the original.

Sarah said...

Thanks for sharing that recipe! I think it would be a hit here. We also do make-your-own salads and everyone loves them

July 31, 2024 at 10:44 AM 

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Taco salads never get old for me! I have gotten sick of my usual salad of mixed greens, tomatoes, rotisserie chicken, and red peppers w/ a vinaigrette. I am eating it again this week, though, because I just couldn't think of anything different to make. I should have just make some turkey taco meat instead!

I think my family thinks of me like the Mini of the family in terms of cooking abilities. When we were growing up, I kind of always had my nose in a book and there is a story about me messing up the making of the batter for homemade ice cream because I was reading while stirring the custard on the stove and it boiled over and then the custard got between the panes of glass of the stove and ay yi yi. It was not good. At big family gatherings on my mom's side, there was a SIL that was always known to just bring crackers to every gathering while the sisters were making homemade potato salad and homemade this and homemade that, etc etc. Now I fear I am the siblings that they expect to bring crackers to gatherings. Ha. I can cook and I have hosted family for the day after Thanksgiving. But I would NEVER host Thanksgiving for example! I have never made an entire turkey - we only make turkey breast for our small family. I would surely mess something up. Oddly my younger sister who is the baby in the family is known for being a good cook and I would trust her to host Thanksgiving.

July 31, 2024 at 11:50 AM 

Ally Bean said...

Your recipe looks delicious. Just our kind of food. I like salads, but sometimes they don't like me. Something about too much fiber and a delicate system.

August 1, 2024 at 7:24 AM