speaking of memory (shortest post ever, if memory serves)

Speaking of memory - Oh wait? Weren't we - I forget. 

 I graduated in June 1985 from the Catholic grade school I attended from midway thru first grade when we moved to the burbs of Chicago from Davenport, Iowa till 8th grade graduation. It's been 40 years. 

My memory
working in overdrive

Later in summer of 1985 we moved to the Northers burbs-an hour away. I started fresh in high school - knew not a soul. The moving van dropped our stuff off at our house the day before freshman year started. 

I kept in touch with my couple of friends from 8th grade for years, and now I'm only in touch with one of them. She does our taxes. 

That grade school was in a swanky area. We weren't swanky people. My few friends and I were not accepted by the 'cool', preppy  kids who flipped their Izod  collars up even though we wore uniforms. 

Anyway, I've been thinking - 40 years! Let's have a reunion. While making cookies the other night, (it's tailgate season, who's excited? Who wants to see Gumby on top of my car?) I decided to write down as many first and last names as I could recall from my 8th grade class. I came up with close to 80 of the roughly 100 kids. I have my yearbook, so I can cheat - but I'm waiting a few more days to see if I can think of a few more names.

Not sure I'll jump in and plan a reunion. I think it would be fun, especially since I no longer care what any of them think of me, and Izod is now sold at Kohls. 

*****

Can anyone else remember people you went to school with if you haven't seen them in 40 years?  Would you attend/or have you attended a grade school reunion? What was the status brand/thing when you were in grade school?

4 Thursday rapid fire random thoughts

I realized while making cookies last night that today was Thursday. I still needed to make a grocery run, and hadn't drafted my Thurs post. I haven't gotten into a set grocery schedule for this school year. I want a devoted day for groceries not a panic-list-last-minute-race-to-the-store-run when we realize that (even though it's less than a week since I shopped) we're out of things. 

So, rapid fire style:

1.  Cookie caper:  I bake when it's cool out, when I have time. I store bags of my cookies in my freezers. I gift them to people who help us out, or I make a plate when we go to a party, etc. I date the bags, so I can rotate them. 

    Last week:  two bags in the basement freezer dated Aug. 1 held 6 and 10 cookies each. What??? (normal is @36/each). We grilled Kay about my disappearing cookie inventory and her answer went from nope, to I ate a couple, to MANY.  She woofed down *dozens* of cookies right before tailgate season. Grrr. 

I'm gonna buy this for
all the grown and
flown/college kids.
 I think it worked
wonders for me. 

2.  No! Germs!:  My throat started hurting Sunday. I took Emergen-C, went to bed early-ish. Monday evening my head felt like it weighted 100 lbs. I bought decongestants, more Emergen-C, and Zicam - a friend who swears by this stuff urged me to buy it.

    I took the Ziacam Monday and Tuesday along with Emergen-C and I was still tired Wednesday but I think I've basically kicked whatever it was. I was expecting horrible cold symptoms - but nope. Coach is struggling with the same symptoms, but is a day behind me. 

3.  Daunted and down:  Maybe feeling sluggish while fighting off this germ contributed, but Tuesday I felt downtrodden. Everything felt daunting. I'm usually energetic and focused on getting things accomplished on my to-do list. 

    Me:  WHO CARES? A FEW MORE THINGS ARE JUST GONNA BE ADDED TO THE LIST ANYWAY. 

I felt beaten and unmotivated. I told Coach I wonder if part of it stems from living with a child that is difficult to like, hard to spend time with, annoying. The exhaustion comes in waves. I felt better Wednesday. I need to reach out to the other adoptive moms I know who can share their FAKE IT TO YOU MAKE IT tactics. 

    BTW - Coach's take:  I think we need a vacation. He's funny. 

Unrelated but I bought
 these, thinking they
 looked good. I'm always looking for
 0 sugar/GF/high protein stuff. Coach said
 they're terrible, so I won't bother.
 The name though:  THINK ABOUT
EATING SOMETHING ELSE. 

4.  Be positive, damn it:  On the long-ass drive to Kay's volleyball game on Tuesday (my downtrodden day), I put myself in her shoes, and tried to think of a way to be positive (aside from 'good game'). FIND SOMETHING GOOD AND TELL HER. YOU'RE HER MOM. This sounds easy, right? I beat myself up for not being better at it, but there are days.

    On the way home, I told her that I was thinking about her, and how I know it's hard to be her sometimes. I explained what it means to persevere. 

Me:  I notice that despite everything in your life that hasn't been easy - you persevere. Different schools, a new family, landing in trouble- you get right back up and keep trying. You're persevering, and I'm proud of you. 

    I texted Coach while at a light, and told him I had a good chat with Kay. We do this, tell each other about our efforts to celebrate these moments, urge each other to try. (We also vent about stuff that drives us bonkers, which is sort of important too). 

*****

OK, not as rapid as I envisioned. Have you tried Zicam? Any early onset cold remedies you swear by? Anyone else freeze their desserts for later use?  Anyone else feel daunted lately? Anyone need to vent?

Then Curly tried to beak into Nana's house, lip synch video starring Reg, and the 'if only' truth

I drafted this before our mind-blowing busiest-in-a-longtime weekend. I'll describe soon. I finally replied to comments here and I'm off to comment on your blogs - I've read them while in motion thanks to the speechify app. Shout out to Michelle for mentioning it. Life changing. 

*****

On the home front while we were in Omaha last weekend:  Curly thought she was supposed to bring Kay to my folks' house early Sat morning. Huh? In reality, she had to drop her at our good friend's house on her way to volleyball practice. Good friend would drop Kay at her cross country meet. I verbally went over the plan with Curly, Rae, and Kay. Curly is very overwhelmed right now with academics, and volleyball, and college/b-ball recruiting - so my guess is she was only half listening. I also wrote it all out and hung it on the fridge. 

Coach (to me at 7:30 am Saturday in our Omaha hotel):  What's the code to your parents' garage?

Me:  *(mumbled four numbers, half asleep . . . because I was in a hotel, enjoying a bed to myself while Coach slept in the other bed and I COULD'VE slept till noon if I wanted) . . . then I sat bolt upright . . . 

WHY? WHO NEEDS TO GET INTO NANA'S HOUSE?

Coach:  Curly does.

Me:  (wide awake now) WHAT? NO!!! 

Fortunately, she'd gotten the garage door up but Nana's interior door was deadbolted. Coach told me she was crying - fearful she'd be late for volleyball, and I worried Kay was making life difficult for her. Bad timing for the two of them to have simultaneous brain farts. 

Then - a thunder storm. Good Friend needed to know if the meet was cancelled. It was delayed. More texts back and forth to Good Friend, to the coworker who was Kay's ride home, and to the c.c. coach. Hours later, Coach stared at his phone forever, anxious that coworker who was picking up Kay from the meet hadn't yet found her. 

I finally lost my marbles. STOP! SHE WILL FIND HER AND IF SHE CAN'T SHE HAS THE C.C. COACH'S NUMBER. SHE OFFERED TO HELP. WE ARE GONNA THROW MONEY AT HER. I'LL BAKE HER A SHIT TON OF STUFF. I CANNOT LISTEN ANOTHER MINUTE TO WHAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE HAPPENING AT HOME. 

Imagine if I hadn't slept in a separate bed and had a fairly decent amount of sleep? Yikes. 

A little later there were texts with the mom whose house Kay was going to in the afternoon. I let her know she'd be late, and she wondered if she could have Curly's number in case the pick up spot was different later on . . .  and so on. 

Like I said, NOT RELAXING. 

Please enjoy this video. Reg appears as the main dude in the leather jacket early on. It's a lip synch competition between freshman from different dorms or RSP groups (orientation groups). Happened orientation weekend. Needless to say, our fam was blown away when he shared the video. They came in 2nd. Maybe he should focus on something besides b-ball.

 All I can say is:  Wait for it. 

*****

Remember when I was hitting friends up for babysitting help last weekend, and I texted Good Friend:  

"If only I had sisters." 

Neither of my sisters have acknowledged the adoption. I assume they discussed this and opted to stand together . . . in solidarity? Not a card, a phone call, a text, or a dumb 'like' on my very rare FB post. 

I think you all know that our adoption journey has not been easy. Never thought it would be, but I also never could have imagined how hard it would be. Ultimately, it's all good and I do believe as we keep slogging along it will only become more rewarding, but support from other people is . . . well, I'm not sure where I'd be without it. Note, Coach's sibs have showered us with support and love, as have many friends. Both my brothers reached out to say congrats on the adoption.  

Like I said, If only I had sisters. Sisters who weren't judgie, who spoke to me and not at me, who listen, who have a sense of humor. If you have one of those - or maybe more than one, I'm jelly. I do have good girlfriends, and I have you, faithful readers. So thanks. 

Ever been in a lip synch competition? Ever had someone get confused with specific directions that led to almost waking up your elderly folks?  Does your life follow the 'friends are the family you choose?' plan?

Sing with me: It's a Small World after all (6 degrees of separation with Mrs. H)

SMALL WORLD STUFF:  I refuse to admit how much time I spent on this graphic, but here's hoping you overlook the fact that Coach and I have no legs. (me bright green top left, him at the bottom in the baseball hat). Maybe the sketch will help you follow along. There are layers here, so put your thinking cap on:  

Note:  Maire is colorless on the top left, the only one without a smiling face (I wasn't feeling overly creative so I went with a realist perspective). Tank's tongue is drawn to scale, obvi, from when he bit through it and he called H's husband, an ear nose throat doc, who gave him the 'I'm sure you're fine' speech.

'H' - is a very fun woman, who has a son at Creighton. H's son is a senior now, a year younger than Tank, but one of Tank's best buddies. 

Turns out H went to Creighton with Coach's oldest sister and Coach's BIL, class of '91.

H's daughter 'lil H' went to college at my alma mater and graduated in 2020. Guess who her roomie was? Lil H roomed with cousin M, my sister Marie's daughter. 

In other words:  Lil H and Boy H are siblings - one is besties with girl cousin M (has been for almost 10 years) and the other became best buds with Tank, not realizing for a few years that one guy's sister roomed with the other guy's cousin back in 2018ish timeframe. 

Toss in there that the mom, H, graduated from college with Coach's sister, Aunt B.

I told Coach all of this in the spring when I returned from Mom's weekend, but if you've met a man, then you know. Coach only sort of listened,. We went to Creighton and saw H over the weekend. He'd completely forgotten the story. The connections blew him away  . . . while I stood to the side, shaking my head, saying, "You knew this. I told you . . ." (kidding, I wasn't that dramatic, I've sort of learned to expect the in-one-ear-out-the-other issue).  

When I met H at mom's weekend back in March, and we reviewed all the cross-overs, I sort of wondered if she was tight with my sis Marie. Their daughters had been roomies. Marie can be a stick in the mud. The more I chatted with H, the more I gathered that H was most likely the life of the party and not the stick/mud type.

Me:  (clears throat) Well, I'm not very close with my sisters.

H:  Ah, OK. Well, in that case, I gotta tell you a story. (right then I knew - we were gonna be pals). It was mom's weekend at Lil H's college, and a big group of us were on a pub crawl. Several people climbed into a cap and I had someone on my lap and I couldn't really see who all was in the cab. Plus I'd been, er, drinking. I called out to  my daughter, Lil H, who was in the front seat. "Hey, Lil H, do you think Ms. Marie (my sister!) is gonna be upset if I'm a little drunko?" And Lil H calls back to me, MOM, MS. MARIE IS IN THE CAB! And I laughed and just said, Oh, hey Marie. Sorry, I just am not sure if you're gonna be annoyed if I've been overserved.

I died laughing, because this H woman had my sister's judgie persona down to a T. Hey, I may not be able to keep up with H's party-on lifestyle, but I'll be the one to hold her hair back if, you know, she needs it. 

Anyone else have some wacky crossovers with other families? Or some other small world stories to share? Feel free to critique my sketch in comments. No one has green hair IRL, not that there's anything wrong with that, but the bag of colored pencils I grabbed was limited. 

Visiting Reg: what worked and what didn't

First off, thank you all for your support, enthusiasm, prayers, and interest in our adoption saga. I cannot tell you how comforting it is to know that you are all in my (our) corner.  

*****

Creighton (ranked 18) vs Louisville (ranked 4)
 volleyball game. A high point of the weekend.
 We really came close to winning, but alas.

Our weekend in Omaha visiting Reg . . .  was good. It's early for a freshman  to organize recently-met friends to say, go to dinner. Reg tried, but the group he hangs out with the most made reservations and didn't have space for us, despite initially telling him (he asked after their plans were in motion) that we could join them. Reg also hangs out with a group of locals. Their parents see them plenty, I guess - so they weren't interested in doing a dinner.

Down in the dumps since we got home - a few thoughts: 

1.  I feel like we were on autopilot when deciding to visit Creighton, and the timing might've been off. When we visited Tank at this time, the families we met we never saw again. They weren't his 'people'. I feel rotten for thinking this, but I sort of wish we'd opted to tailgate at Notre Dame (not bothered going into the game) - a shorter trip - long day, but not an overnight, and it's Mini's senior year -only so many games left. It's hard not to want to hang out with people you already know and enjoy. I was excited and hopeful to make those connections at Creighton, but it didn't happen (and maybe if it had, it would've ended up like Tank - not seeing them again because groups are in a state of flux this early on). 

2.  Maybe too soon for Reg to organize his group/recognize which group he's part of, and I fear that since he doesn't always read social cues well, maybe he bugged them too much, texting kids to watch the ND game with us in the lobby of a dorm after their dinner. We watched the game, ready to serve my 7 layer taco dip and my cookies. The dinner-out group didn't stop by. We met a few of the local guys because they live in the dorm, and they enjoyed my cookies.

3.  I'm feeling a little claustrophobic thinking it'll be several years before we can really go out of town solo and chill, because this weekend had a lot of moving parts and wasn't terribly relaxing due to stuff at home. (I've got a post drafted about how things went on the home front while we were away. Not bad - just complicated.)

this was a Mediterranean chicken
dinner served on quinoa. So tasty. 

4.  Bonus crud-feeling culprit:  Did you see that ND game? C'mon. Poor Mini. Her senior year and the season is essentially over. On the bright side - maybe we'll get some cheap tickets if folks give up and don't wanna bother attending. 

We did have fun, damn it:  

Friday we took Reg to dinner (ditto on Saturday), andthen we went to a volleyball game, which was exciting. We won the first set and the other sets were so close. They were out of tickets, (students get in regardless) but a season ticket holder had extra tickets she wasn't using so they gave them to us. Amazing seats. I spotted a woman whose daughter is a friend of Tank's, and she just moved downtown Chicago. I recognized a player on Louisville's team, who played against Curly last year. Starting as a freshman at the #4 volleyball program in the nation? Crazy. 

Backyard fraternity party.
 It was 92 degrees, but this
year it was at a house with shade.
 The last three years
 there was zero shade.

Saturday afternoon we crashed Tank's former fraternity's backyard party. Reg can't rush till second semester, but the guys welcomed us with open arms because we were Tank-affiliated. These guys know Reg, inviting him to parties, etc. I got to chat with Mrs. H - I'll share a small world story about her in my next post. 

We also took Reg to the bookstore and bought him merch. While I hoped to meet freshmen parents, it didn't happen - but I'm confident that with a little more time Reg will click with a good group. He seems very happy. He's managing the basketball team, and getting in a groove with his classes.  

Anyone else ever suffer from FOMO? Or as adults, is that supposed to be a non-issue? Anyone else watch the ND game?  I'd never attended a college volleyball game - anyone else in that same boat?

Adoption recap with a photo that I'll soon take down! I'm a hodge-podger, plus added stress

Monday:  the adoption went well. Some sappy SOB squeaked the words out during the poem portion of the proceedings, so that was, er, embarrassing. The poem was light and fluffy till the last few touching-moment lines, so why did the emotion ooze out of me like jelly from a jelly donut from the get go? 

I asked our lawyer for permission to read something and she had to ask the judge. He adopted a few older kids himself, and he was great. Also, he has a club foot (the topic was referenced in my poem and afterwards he was like Club foot over here too!). My lawyer said she'd never had anyone ask to speak/share something. 

What? I guess I watch too much TV or movies or something. Am I alone here? 

Sibling support surprise  Backing this bus up to let you know that all six older kids came home and attended court. No one was late. Phew. 

Sunday late afternoon I snuck out of the house, drove to ND with a stop at Midway (believe it or not there's another airport adventure to share. Put on your Depends though, because Mini was in the car and it was high-larry-us). Four hour round trip later, I walked in and Kay was sitting on the couch and when she heard Reg talk, she spun around, and was like HOW? HUH? Rae's face was pure joy when she saw the college kids. 

The talk:  Coach and I did sit Kay down Sunday night. Per our therapist we told her We show up for you always, and we're the first people in your life to do that. We're working hard here to make you part of this family. Time for you to do some work. I referenced all the big kids in the next room (you could hear them laughing and chatting) and how they were all here for her. We asked if she wanted to be part of this family. YES, she does. Let's just say, we made our point. 

In attendance:  The grade school principal. My mom's sister, even though I didn't call her till the day before. Had to read her directions over the phone because she doesn't do GPS. She has a phone which is lightyears ahead of my folks, so there's that. The girls' social worker and two other DCFS people. Two of Rae's girlfriends plus their moms. Kay's bestie. The court room was packed. My bestie zoomed it and managed to video the whole thing, which was great because Coach's folks weren't able to work the zoom. They live over an hour away. Coach's sister and a nephew zoomed. His sisters sent sweet personalized gifts and there are enough flowers in our kitchen to put a wedding venue to shame. 

How can we balance out this crooked looking sign -
Oh, here's a recycling bin and a seat from the minivan.

Chaos:  We took the elderly folks and our kids to breakfast and then everyone dispersed for work and Coach and I drove the girls back to their prospective schools. When I got home, I put flowers in vases, and cut Reg's hair. Fearing Coach wouldn't have time for the banner because he took Tank, plus a part of a sectional couch downtown (an hour one way) and then had to grab the girls from school and drop Ed at the train, I devoted four minutes to banner hanging duty before doing my reverse ND/Midway trip. 

Twice in less than 24 hours is a lot of driving. 

While I was driving, Coach texted Mini. "Did you see how Mom hung the banner? I need to fix this, any ideas?"  I think it's cute that he didn't think she would tell me what he texted her. He dismantled the backyard volleyball net to use one side of it. Big improvement. 

I'd like points for being the best hodge-podger out there.

Since then stress in the shape of:  

* my dad landed in the hospital later Monday afternoon, blood in stool. He came home last night (Wed.) after having a colonoscopy and an endoscopy and they can't find the source of the bleeding. He's frustrated. They're acting like, All good. But is he really? 

* On Thursday last week, I got an email from the camp the girls attend quarterly (same camp they did before the fam portrait). The camp was being restructured which we knew (extending the umbrella to kids with trauma background and not just those whose parents have been on drugs), so 8 days before the Sept 12th weekend camp (like NOW!) - they alerted us that they rescheduled it for mid-October. 

* Coach and I are heading to Creighton for family weekend and now we have no childcare for the girls. It was supposed to be so well timed. Damn it. My focus last weekend was on dealing with sneaky behavior, creating banners, writing poetry, and driving two four hour trips - so now we're scrambling to find coverage/rides, etc. Not.Fun. Especially because we feel like Kay has to be watched like a hawk. 

I told one of my girlfriends today who I hit up for yet another favor, "If only I had sisters." 

FYI:  f you have a WordPress blog, I'm not able to sign in for some reason. Sometimes I can comment and sometimes I draft a lengthy comment and it kicks it out. (Kari, sorry but that happened and I haven't been back to figure it out yet). 

*****

What was the last thing you hodge-podged? Have you gotten choked up unexpectedly? 

8 is Enough Adoption Day: Timing is everything and two things are true

While you read this, I'm prepping for the courthouse to make our 'Eight is Enough' status official. Drafting this on Saturday. 

Friday - yesterday, I had the day off. My ten hours of sleep were bought to me by Thursday's allergy shots, thank you very much. Turns out I needed that kind of sleep under my belt to stomach tricks from our friend, Kay. 

Coach and I used a gift card to grab food and drinks from a place in a cute town along the train line. Tank met us there. He arrived earlier than we expected and sort of crashed our date, but he's a great addition to any gathering, so it was great.  

On the way home, I pointed as we turned off of the expressway near our home by a Shell Station. 

Me:  hey, that's our kid. (I'd had one apparently strong Skinny Marg and felt tipsy, Coach was driving obvi). 

Coach:  Huh?

Me:  Yep, that's Kay.

The girls have therapy after school on Fridays and it's an amazing break for us. We can decompress and have a short date before they get home. Curly agreed to be home by 6:35 pm to feed them dinner. We got home around 7:15. 

Kay and Rae walked in. We were ready, planning to divide and conquer. I asked what Kay was doing at the gas station. "Just walking -wasn't at the gas station." Curly had sent them outside to get some exercise because she had to pack for a v-ball overnight, and couldn't watch them in the house. Kay was wearing crocs - not the usual if working out. I asked why, "I couldn't get my shoes untied."

Inventive? Me thinks not. *I told my dad today that while we all attend the block party she will be inside tying and untying her shoes 500 times. I feared with the amount of laughing that ensued that I might've killed him. Kay later admitted the shoe tie thing was a lie. Shock. 

Me to Rae, who I followed to their room:  Were you at the gas station too? 

Rae:  No, I tried to go into the church to sit in the chapel, but I guess it closes at 3. 

Me:  Did Kay have money with her? 

Rae:  Yea she did and I told her not to go to the gas station but she did anyway. 

I pounded thru the kitchen and into the yard where Coach was hitting a volleyball with Kay. He later said, I knew something was up when I saw your walk.

Me:  Give me the money. Claimed she didn't have any, over and over. (I keep their money in an envelope in my room because we've had issues with spending habits and sneaking off across busy roads to get to Starbucks) Rae told me you have it, so if you walked in the house and stuck it in the mudroom go get it. 

She got the $17 from her mudroom locker, and I asked her where she got it. She claims she kept money hidden when I took their money over a year ago. She said that at fam therapy the other day when I said I'd found $6 in her room. She kept $6 hidden all this time? Doubt it. Six was the change from a bigger bill she must've spent. 

I sent her to her room. Rae was up there. Kay hollered at Rae for telling us. 

Kay:  You used to keep my secrets

Rae:  Yeah, I don't do that anymore. I've grown and matured and you need to figure it out. This is a you problem, not a them problem. 

Kay:  They'll cancel the adoption. I only have three days to fix this. 

Rae:  No, they're not cancelling. Monday's just a day, and you've been part of this family for over two years. Like when you started writing Shenanigan on your papers at school. It's gonna take more than 3 days to fix this. You have to stop living in the past. You talk about the past like at least once a week. Those people weren't good for us. This is a family and you need to decide to be part of it and stop all this stuff you do.

Kay:  I don't wanna be adopted in a family with two people I don't like. (Curly was in her room and heard every word and she said 100% it's Curly and I that Kay 'doesn't like.')

Rae:  It's not that you don't like them, it's that you don't like it when they get mad at you, so stop doing dumb things. This is on you. 

Kay:  At fam therapy they compared me to you and you're just doing better because you're older. (they're only 17 mos apart). 

Rae:  No, I was the same as you when we got here. I was sneaking and lying and being bad, but I've grown up. You can do it too, but you're choosing not to. 

Coach and I stood in the front hall, chins on the floor. Blown away by Rae's advice. We could all hear every word - their door was open and they were loud. We were so impressed with Rae. I knew she got it, but the extent to which she gets it was really mind blowing. (Rae did mess up last week with the clothing thing, but it was clear then that she was really sorry). 

Rae came down to the kitchen and Curly popped downstairs, and beckoned to her. "Rae, come here." Curly took her up to her room, where she told her that she overheard everything and that she thought Rae did a great job and that she was really proud of her. 

Guess what? No amount of me and Coach saying good job to Rae could outweigh Curly saying it. And I didn't ask Curly to do that. It was pure and authentic and natural. We wonder if Kay hearing Rae tell her to get with the program might matter.

So two things are true:  The night sucked, but it was also amazing.  

Rest assured:  no one was actually decapitated in the drafting of this post. 

I was awake half the night, because I fear Kay has been opening various drawers in the kitchen and helping herself to caddies' cash. There's one drawer per kid just outside the mudroom, older kids' drawers have been reassigned as they move out. Caddies often drop their cash in their drawer. Game changer in the 11th hour. Stealing cash money? Walking to a gas station to buy yourself shit food? (The kids have cash boxes with keys in their bedrooms that they used when the girls first moved in and we can go back to that system, but the drop $ in drawer bit is convenient). 

Kay's spending the weekend in her room. Friday night most of us went and enjoyed an ice cream treat - Rae got to choose the place, Culvers. 

In our Culvers' booth, Rae told Curly:  I got my volleyball jersey today. I picked number 21.

 #21 is Reg and Curly's number. There's significance with our last name and some rapper that makes us laugh. 

Curly beamed at her:  Nice!

On the way home, Rae asked Tank:  Are you home just to caddy, or are you working on Monday? 

Tank:  I'm working Monday. Why is something happening Monday?

Did I tell Coach that I wanted to call the lawyer and cancel? You betcha. I'm drained. But we're soldiering on. I'll be on a call with the fam therapist, Katlyn, on Sunday while I'm on my way to pick up my funny kid from ND. Coach will be on the call on his way back from golfing with a few of the guys. Tank had a booze cruise in the city Sunday,. He has a friend who works on a boat (Came back to add this photo on Sunday). 

Who is old enough to remember the show Eight is Enough?  

stream of consciousness: the adoption, ill-timed bad behavior & who fixed my comments?

Oh my gosh. Where to begin. The holiday threw off my blogging schedule, so I'm unprepared -staying up late to share our latest Drama, unfortunately. As a result I've read almost all of your posts, behind in commenting. I started drafting about my eyes, but I'm bumping that. (short story:  my eyes are dry and my contacts are ripping. I'm trying stuff). 

The girls:  adoption is Monday. Sunday Reg flies home and Mini comes back from Notre Dame. The girls don't know these details yet. They might not even realize that all three big brothers will be there from the city/jobs, etc. My folks plan to attend too. Both girls will have some friends there. Coach and I will take all of our gang out to lunch afterwards to celebrate. 

This past week has not been our favorite. Bottom line:  both girls have been caught sneaking articles of clothes that belong to Curly. They stand no chance of wearing them, so they hide them in their room. Some of them have been missing for months. I'll spare you ALL the details, but it's been unpleasant. 

We made Rae apologize to Curly. Curly was like Weird and I'm angry, but I have homework - off she went to her room. Then  . . . 

Me to Rae:  I've enjoyed watching Curly connect with you this summer. It's not been easy, and it's just happened. So great. You talk about caddying, you joke around, and she asks you about your volleyball practice. You did this (holding up Curly's shirts retrieved from under Rae's mattress) TO CURLY. Wow. 

Rae started sobbing. Uncontrollably. Hadn't considered repercussions of her actions. She doesn't like me to hug her, but I pulled her into a hug and I told her that we've been through worse things, and this will take time to come back from, and that she's a true Shenanigan and she's connecting with the older kids and everyone enjoys her, etc. So this was a bump and it was unfortunate, but she'll have to work to show Curly she can be trusted. 

It got a little uglier when Kay apologized for her sneaking/taking, acting so remorseful, if you buy it - which isn't all that believable because she doused her apology with a healthy amount of therapy babble, and then we discovered that she'd been hiding another of Curly's tops under her pillow since May. Like you feel it under there daily, not like you forgot you took it. What even? Again, no chance of wearing it. Her initial apology meant nothing. 

Family therapy session last night -all four of us at the same time, a first. I did not mince words. The family therapist did a great job of explaining that the apology happened, but that they'd have to make it up to Curly and earn back her trust. 

The timing sucked, as if there's a good time to deal with sneaky behavior that breaks apart connections that are tough to create in the first place and trust is broken. UGHHHHH!! 

The other part of this post that I've swapped out for this more pressing content was about my workouts (that's been a big change). Since I can't run, I'm walking 4.5 miles daily. On my walks - lots of thinking:  

What are we doing? Like how did we get here? How are we gonna manage this bull shit forEVER? Should we switch their therapy to our insurance? Will that help? Oh, gotta remember to start a new FB group for this year's daycare families. (still haven't) If I cook (something), I can drop off some for my parents on my way (insert wherever). Oh, yeah - remember to write a poem or something to read aloud at the adoption. Hmm, need to get inspired for that. Bad timing. Can I maybe fly to Boston for Halloween to attend a Notre Dame game with Mini?  (add in 8 other things I want to remember to do when I get home. Very few stick or get addressed). 

In other words, my mind is all over the place. 

Probably a bit of what Kyria saw minus the
6 laundry baskets on the couch.

In exciting news, well exciting to me - because I'm home with munchkins all the live long day and trying to accomplish stuff during naps and never enough time  . . . I got to video chat Kyria. So much fun. It started as a phone call, but the connection worked better as a video. She got to meet some of my tots/babies, and my laundry piles probably made her shudder. I so enjoyed our chat. And then, she emailed me to instruct me how to fix my comments. So, a big thank you to Kyria for pointing out how I could do something in under 10 seconds that I thought wasn't available on my blog. 

*****

How many of you have thought about tipping me off about how to fix my stupid comments, but feared I'd be offended? 

Ch-ch-changes: part 1, mornings are weird, evenings are awesome

(I took yesterday off for Labor Day and I hope all my blog friends in the US enjoyed a relaxing day). Aside from only having Curly, Rae, and Kay home right now . . . we've had some other changes crop up. About a month ago, Coach mentioned that a PT who works for him wanted to start working 5 evenings. It could work, if Coach switched his schedule to 5 mornings.

Hmm. 

Coach wasn't sure the regional director would be cool with him, the manager, not in the building in the evenings - like any evenings. 

Background:  Coach worked four nights a week for YEARS. The kids were tiny. He got home at 9 pm or later. Activities, homework, baths, and dinner were all done before he got home, and I was exhausted. 

Then he worked Mon, Wed, Friday late days - which was a step up, because Fridays they closed at 6 pm - so he was only home at 9 pm twice a week. He went in late a few days, but one day a week he worked from like 5 am till 9 pm. 

2021:  He requested to adjust his schedule when we had Hay and Day (foster boys) living with us (because so much mayhem happened in the evenings when I was solo with the two troubled guys. We're talking ambulances called, me putting kids in take-down holds, the works), and by the time it was approved - we'd waved the white flag and they were no longer living with us. Coach kept those hours and has been coming home between 7 and 8 pm Tu/Th since late 2021. An improvement. 

On his late days, Coach starts later in the mornings. He leaves at 7:30 or 8 am. This  perk means I can shower or finish working out while he manages the tots and babies, or he can take someone to an early dental appointment, or he can redirect Kay as needed, etc. 

On his early days, he leaves the house probably around 5 am (not sure since I'm still sleeping), and he gets home around 3 pm. 

Guess what? The regional dude said it was cool, so for the past few weeks Coach has been home for dinner every night. He hasn't been home for dinner every night since he started this job in Jan of '21. It's been almost 25 years. His first job was working with patients at the hospital from 1999-2001. 

Now on Tu/Thurs he leaves before 6 am and then finishes work at 4:30 and on M,W,F he goes in cray-cray early still and he's done between 2 and 3. It's the schedule we both wanted when we had really little people. Better late than never. 

We're adjusting:

• Coach put the garbage out on the wrong day last week. 
• He goes to bed early every night now, not just the nights before he gets up before the butt crack of dawn. (He's never stayed up 'late' like past 10, because he's always playing catch up from those early mornings). 
• Right now, I'm flying solo in the mornings, which stinks at times. I can't race up and shower while he mans the troops, or while he greets people, holds a baby when a parent walks in. This was never his fav thing as he could never remember anyone's name and some babies really prefer seeing me at drop off.

• 

  A blurry photo taken while
   I was unable to see.

  Delegating our driving duties:  Until the 11th hour, we weren't sure how Rae was getting to her new-to-us Catholic high school. It's 15 minutes away - not a bad drive, but there are only like 120 kids in the entire school so not a ton of carpool options. We found a kid who lives a few minutes away, and we pay him to drive her 4 days a week and I drive her on Fridays when I'm off. 

We both wonder if this will last. Will patients complain that they can't get a spot onCoach's new schedule? We shall see. I have a few other changes to share, and for now - please enjoy this photo of one of them. (I've not gone blind, but my contact lenses are requiring me to jump through lots of hoops). More later. 

Any changes in your world?