join the crowd for lunch? Or watch from a live feed and keep your distance (recommended)

This was not an intentional hide-the-face pic. Mini was bending, to avoid the wind? Between photos. Plus she'd said I was only allowed one, so maybe she thought I was going to actually follow that order. Silly girl. Mini and I were at admitted student day on Sunday and Monday this week. Thanks for your patience while I was off doing mom related fun stuff. Being on campus and hearing about what's to come for this kid was a pinch-me moment. 

**********

For the remainder of this school year, I have the twins, L and El, C and A, and Ricky. Delightful, supportive parents who I enjoy very much. I also enjoy their kids. 

Ironically, Ricky's mom teaches preschool in Johnny's district. *Pausing here to recognize - WHAT ARE THE CHANCES? I babysat for this woman since Oct. and knew what district she taught in, but never she taught preschool. When I asked her, I was like STOP IT!

She looked at her list. Ricky's mom didn't request a screening when she registered him. This ticked Ricky's mom off, because it'll now take longer to get Johnny services since he won't be assessed until after he starts preschool in the fall. 

After I wrote my letter to Nelly, Ricky's mom let me know that Johnny's mom called the school and requested a screening. Unfortunately they had no screenings left, but at least Nelly seemed to be coming around. She was confident that my letter made an impact. For Johnny's sake, I sure hope so. 

Lela and 'El' (who will be a year in June and is a favorite and doesn't cry constantly. She's not spoiled). This was the background sound of my days while Lela was there especially if El was also having a moment.

*********

The woman who cuts my hair was disgusted by my stories of Wil's folks yanking him and leaving me high and dry, and of Johnny's mom not coming back suddenly after I'd held a space for her and skipped out on other opportunities. At my next haircut, I'll share with her BB and his wack-a-doodle folks. Haircut Chica gets it, because she provides a service for people. She deals with cancellations and inconsideration too. 

I told her how difficult this daycare thing has been. Should I even bother trying to find anyone new? It felt dicey. So many nutter-butters out there, and I don't mean tasty cookie variety. 

Haircut Chica told me that she knew someone who was closing her daycare in the SAME.TOWN.WHERE.I.LIVE. Huh? She reached out and encouraged the woman who was shutting down (I later learned that she's closing because of a difficult parent) to give out my number to any teachers looking for a new in-home daycare. 

Two sisters reached out to me from that closing daycare. Thanks to Haricut Chica. A few days before I left for Europe, I met the 'sistas'. One needs care for two kids 3 days a week. The other needs care 2 days a week for 1 kid. They hoped the cousins could overlap at least one day. Babysitting math is not as easy as it seems, friends. 

They were at the former daycare for 6 years with their older kids. That spoke volumes to me. It means:  they get it. They hired me on the spot for next school year after I told them that I honestly just want to work with nice families who appreciate what I do. I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  THIS AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE. Having every slot filled for the fall meant I could relax in Europe, at least on the days when I was fed. More on that later.

When I described how Wil's family left for fear of Goddard germs, these sisters shook their heads. HOW SILLY. A bit later they asked me if I knew a particular family in the next culdesac. I was like YEP, THAT'S WIL'S GRANDMA. HE WAS GOING THERE ON THE DAYS HE ISN'T WITH ME. Both sisters chuckled. They know Wil's mother. They went to high school together. They again shook their heads. One of them was like NOT AT ALL SURPRISED. I almost hugged her, but didn't want to scare her away and end up with an open spot again. 

I assumed Ricky wouldn't come back in the fall based on his mom telling me that she'd probably just send him to the all-day preK that his sister attends. After I was hired by the dynamic-sister-duo, I let Ricky's mom know that I probably wouldn't have space for him. She also wanted him at my house 5 days a week, which I was trying to avoid.

While in Europe, I saw Ricky's mom post on FB that she was looking for an in home daycare for Ricky and his sis after preschool. He'd qualified for the district preschool, meaning it's free and she was thinking of just sending him there vs the all day deal after all.

One mom, who used to cut my hair before I switched to the curly specialist who cuts Curly's hair, lives in our district. She commented on Ricky's mom's post. Guess who she recommended? ME. I felt like a turd. Like I'd sent Ricky's people packing. I msg'd Ricky's mom and said, IF YOU FIND SOMETHING, NO PROBLEM, BUT IF YOU WANT RICKY AND SIS TO GET OFF THE BUS AT MY HOUSE IN THE AFTERNOONS WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. She and I chatted when I got back from Europe and sure enough, he and his 4 year old sister will get off the bus at my house 5 afternoons in the fall. 

His sister has come to my house a few times this school year when her current preschool was closed. Let me paint a picture:  mother-hen type who likes to read board books to babies and follow directions and keep everyone playing happily. Score. I should probably pay them to let me keep her here. Can you say, 4 YEAR OLD ASSISTANT? Plus one of the new 'sista' families has a 4 year old who doesn't nap. I love that I've already found a playmate for this little girl, and solved my HOW DO I KEEP NAP TIME AS A SACRED GET-THINGS-DONE TIME FOR ME problem? 

How great that I'll be able to chill on the couch and eat bon bons, as you know that is my dream. The bummer:  I was hoping to have Fridays off, but Annie (C and A's mom) needs care on Fridays. I've told her that I will watch her kids, but I'll plan to take off quite a few Fridays in order to visit my 3 college kids in the fall,  or travel with Coach when he teaches, or just take a mental health day. Now I also have Ricky and my 4 yr old assistant Friday afternoons, but that mom also knows I plan to take off a pile of  Fridays faster than you can say I NEED SOME ME TIME. At least there will be no infants on Fridays. Searching for the sliver lining here. Did ya notice? 

My home will be crowded, assuming no one else quits. The youngest, El, will be a year end of June. This is what my fall looks like, at lunch time after Ricky and 4 year old assistant are back from preschool, I will have:  8 on Mondays, 7 on Tuesdays, 8 on Wednesdays, 5 on Thursdays, and 4 on my 'day-off' Fridays, subtract 2 preschool kids from each day to get my morning number, and subtract an additional one from Tues and Wed mornings as those are the days L and C will each attend a preschool. 

You were warned, daycare math is hard. 

You know what else is hard? Thinking about the math that will present itself after my retirement, because the funds will dry up. My focus right now:  college tuition, but Mini's scholarship has helped a lot with that pressure. If Reg and Curly get the Evans or a partial sport scholarship, my saved funds will be reallocated. There will always be something, like weddings . . . down the road. Ed has told me that I could be done working sooner, which would be nice. But our couches are 16 years old. Plus, travel. See what I'm talking about? 

Please let me know in the comments which day you'd like to visit me and my rascals in the fall for lunch, or if you'd prefer a live feed of the nonsense and good times. Is it wrong to pray that Finn is settled into a condo with Lad in the fall?

text-a-rama, exploding heads, and nice letters

If you've missed the last few posts, I'm bringing everyone up to speed on my daycare drama. Once I get this off my chest, I'll move onto other topics like Europe and Florida and a new favorite I've been working on called 'WHAT WE'RE SAYING.' Thanks for bearing with me.

When both Johnny and Lila started getting dropped off, Nelly texted me maybe 6 times a day. Mind blown. HOW ARE THEY? . . . . DOING OK? . . .  DID THEY GO DOWN FOR NAPS. I responded the first few days, and then I ignored it. If there is an issue, you will know. I mean, seriously? I have my hands full here and if I texted every mom updates all day, who would feed and change the babies? THINK. 

Lila cried unless she was held. I asked Nelly if she liked the bouncy seat, the play mat, the exersaucer, WHAT IS HER HAPPY PLACE? 

Nelly:  OH, SORRY. SHE'S JUST SPOILED. I REALLY DON'T PUT HER DOWN AT HOME. I JUST HOLD HER. 

Hmm. She was over 5 months old. What on earth? And how exactly did you think that was gonna work out at my house where I can't literally carry her all day long? 

*********

Fast forward about a month:  In February, Delilah and I took the kids to this cute little forest preserve like 12 minutes away. It has a great, new indoor learning center. Sometimes they take out a snake for us to pet, or we get to watch them feed the snapping turtle. We love it there. IT.IS.A.TREAT. 

As usual, I posted pics and videos of our adventures on FB to our tiny parent group. The parents love seeing what their kids are up to. I asked the twins' mom once if she thought I posted too much. She was like, UM, I'M A BIG FAN. THEY'RE MY KIDS. SO NO. NOT TOO MUCH. 

Nelly texted me afterwards:  I LOVE THAT YOU TAKE THE KIDS TO FUN PLACES. IN THE FUTURE , CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW IN ADVANCE. ICE. 

I called Becky. Begged her to talk me down. WHAT THE EF IS ICE? It was 50 degrees out, no ice. Becky did some research:  IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. Who's emergency? Mine? I have my phone with me, if I get a flat tire or run out of diapers or lose my sense of humor, I will reach out to my support system. Like, what? FYI, I described my regular outings when we met. This wasn't new info. I even brought a friend along. 

Johnny hadn't been on an outing with us in the fall, because he was only with me one day a week. I didn't bring them anywhere on 'his' day, because he was still transitioning. Also, while he was once a week, she started him on half days. She asked me if he could stay long enough to watch the other kids go down for naps, so he grasped the concept. 

Well, we got busy having fun outside.  When Nelly showed up, we hadn't done naps yet. Things were running late. 

Nelly:  OH THAT'S FINE. ICAN CARRY HIM UP WHEN YOU BRING THEM UP FOR NAPS SO HE CAN SEE WHAT NAP TIME LOOKS LIKE. 

Me (eyes bugging out of my head):  OH, NOPE. THAT WON'T WORK. I HAVE TEENAGERS. 

**the version that staying sealed in my panicking brain:  HELL TO THE NO, ARE YOU GOING UP INTO THOSE BEDROOMS**  It's not like there were dead bodies that I feared she'd discover, but  - well, there was THIS: 

Let's pause here to imagine Nelly entering
this room to reach the baby bed in the upper
left corner. As if she would've made it past
the open door before running screaming
from my home. Looking back, that
 might've been for the best.
I died laughing inside.

BTW Delilah noticed in 20 minutes that day that something was off with Johnny. For instance, he wouldn't touch the tanks that the turtles swim in. All the other kids had their face pressed up to the glass to watch the turtles. 

Also, Johnny had been having horrible, awful diarrhea, sometimes requiring a change of clothes. When Nelly arrived to pick up, I took a deep breath then responded to her text, and other 'stuff'. Note:  I'm remembering the bullet points here, but I wasn't as abrupt as this sounds, trust me. I'm not a monster. 

Me:  I TOLD YOU WE GO ON OUTINGS. NO I DON'T ALWAYS LET PARENTS KNOW IF WE'RE GOING SOMEWHERE. A LOT DEPENDS ON MORNING NAPS, WEATHER, ETC. I LIKE TO 'READ THE ROOM' TO SEE IF THE KIDS ARE UP FOR AN OUTING. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TEXT EACH PARENT AND ASK THEIR PERMISSION. 

ALSO, HOW DID JOHNNY'S ASSESSMENT GO? 

Nelly :  He didn't have one, he just needs socialization. 

Me:  HE NEEDS TO BE ASSESSED SO THAT I KNOW HOW TO CARE FOR HIM. YOU ARE LOSING GROUND. HE GETS SERVICES TILL AGE 3. HE'S  NOW 2.5. 

AND, JOHNNY CAN'T COME HERE WITH HORRIBLE DIARREHA. I DON'T CARE FOR KIDS WITH THE RUNS, SAME AS VOMIT. YOU CAN'T DROP HIM OFF WITH A 12 OUNCE CUP OF JUICE. 

*my kids knew this. they were like why is he drinking juice? 

Nelly:  Well, that's what I give him to take his medicine - (*medicine that she's put him on, for allergies that she thinks he has, no diagnosis - exactly what she told me). What's he supposed to drink then? (for real? did she just ask me this?)

Me:  ASK YOUR DOCTOR. 

Nelly:  My pediatrician says it's OK for him to have loose stools until he's ready to be potty trained. 

At this point my head exploded. The end. 

Kidding, sort of. 

I want 5 minutes alone with this pediatrician. Please, universe - make this happen. Nelly admitted that she'd just changed docs when Lila was born. My suspicion is that her original pediatrician was suggesting that Johnny might have some things that needed to be addressed, and she switched because she didn't want to face it.

Honestly, this breaks my heart. Truly. I feel for her. I gathered that she was in denial. However, it wasn't fair to ask me to babysit for him if she wasn't willing to seek answers for legitimate concerns that I had. Getting him help might very well improve his situation. Not to mention the constant runs? Her doctor? The worst. 

Prior to this, Nelly was so excited to see Johnny participate with the other kids in the videos that I took. We did Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear touch the ground. Ring around the Rosie. I hid teddy bears and had the kids find them after we read, Going On a Bear Hunt book, one of our favorites. I'd told her a million times that he'd do well with a routine and he was starting to get a feel for our day. 

She texted the next day after I was frank with her. 'Johnny won't be coming today.' I knew then, she'd not be bringing her kids back. I was right. She texted me that weekend to say that her husband lost his job. Untrue. He's a union construction worker for the city. I know he isn't out of work. If it was true, she still would've brought Johnny here one day a week for the socialization factor that she was so adamant that he needed. 

I reached back out to the family with the newborn and asked if they found someone. They had. Super annoying. A week later, I wrote Nelly a letter and mailed it. Mini read it. OH, THIS IS A NICE LETTER, I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE AN ANGRY LETTER. 

Me:  I'M TICKED OFF, BUT I FEEL LIKE SHE DOESN'T GET IT. I WANTED HER TO KNOW THAT KIDS HAVE ISSUES, MINE DID/DO. IT'S PART OF THE DEAL. IT DOESN'T DO THE KID ANY GOOD TO AVOID SEEKING HELP AND SERVICES. 

It was a nice letter. What she did was crappy. After she left, I tried AGAIN to fill that spot. Along came Bubble Boy and his WAKE-UP-MY-BABY parents. 

I told you. Ridiculous school year, overflowing with nutty people. Super frustrating. 

Which was worse in your estimation? Bubble Boy, or Johnny with his 'diarrhea is fine, just ask my pediatrician' and here's my baby who I guarantee will cry ALL DAY except when she sleeps. Or Wilhelm with his parents whose need for control over the other families who use my daycare made them asshats. Hard to choose, isn't it? 

enter moose with a motor

After CL pulled her kid, she never called Mini or Curly to babysit again. Ever. I assume she was worried that Mini or Curly would give Wil covid since the twins were going to Goddard. Mini had been babysitting for them on the weekends VERY regularly. If not every weekend, then every other. I didn't buy the  'my work schedule changed'  and this makes it more clear that this wasn't the case. If her work schedule changed, why is she unable to ask the girls to babysit? Poor Mini lost her main babysitting gig during the school year AND the 3x a week in the summer. 

Caring for the kids is a family affair. 

13 second video of Coach playing with Will. 

Listen to that giggle. At his house, 

his folks just plug him in to a screen. Think of what they gave up. 

CL lives around the corner. We will eventually cross paths. While it was nice that she paid me two weeks, she messed up my entire school year. 

**********

Another mom I sit for knew someone looking for childcare. I told her to feel free to share my contact info. It was early September and I wanted to fill my opening. 

The inquiring mom, Nelly (as in nervous-Nelly), came to meet me with her husband and two kids. She didn't need care till January because she was on maternity leave after having a baby girl, Lila. Johnny had turned 2 in August. She only needed care 3 days a week. Perfect. Or was it?

While I chatted with the parents, Johnny ran around the room on his tip toes. He was stimming with his hands raised in the air - like looked like he was convulsing, climbing on the couch and attempting to climb up the back of the couch. He didn't use words. He was like a moose with a motor. Before they left, I asked the mom if she might want to drop Johnny off once a week right away so he could get acclimated before January. 

Nelly: YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. HE JUST NEEDS SOCIALIZATION. 

*In my mind I was thinking, we gotta get this kid with the program. Lawdy, he seemed like a lot. When Tank called I told him the story. He was like WELL, I GIVE YOU A FEW WEEKS, YOU'LL HAVE HIM FIGURED OUT. 

Not gonna lie, I love that my kids have confidence in my super powers.

Another family with 1 newborn that I met on FB did a phone interview with me around the same time. They seemed very nice and very interested. They also didn't need care till January. They were interviewing other candidates. 

Nelly texted that night shortly after we met. "We really want the kids with you. I think you'll be perfect. Please, please will you take us?" She explained that her kid had never been with a sitter except for grandparents, so she decided to take me up on the one day a week offer to ease him into the 3 days a week. 

I let the other family know that I'd filled the spot. I'd been on the fence, but the fact that they knew one of my current moms mattered. In hindsight, I may have weighted that too heavily. It was hard to tell them no before I'd met with them in person, but timing is everything and I took the family that asked me first. As if we were going to dance. 

IF THIS WAS A DANCE, IT WAS THE KIND THAT MAKES ME DIZZY. 

**********

The first day Johnny was dropped off happened to be a day Mini took a mental health day from school. By the time she was awake, I was about to lose my ever lasting mind. This kid. The stimming was intense. It was like an electric current was going through his body. He screamed nonstop and he was enormous, so not easy to hold. The other kids were afraid of him. He was lunging at them and I wasn't sure if he wanted to hug them or what. I tried to hug him in case he was looking for some comfort, but that didn't seem to help.  

Mini:  IT'S JUST HIS FIRST DAY, HE'LL BE FINE. *a few hours later, she'd changed her tune:  YOU CANNOT TAKE THIS KID. HE IS A NIGHTMARE.TELL THEM NO. 

At pickup time the mom, Annie, who referred Nelly to me, said:  I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW. (huh?) NELLY ASKED ME TO GET TOGETHER YESTERDAY SO JOHNNY WOULD KNOW MY KIDS A LITTLE IN ADVANCE OF COMING HERE. HER HUSBAND AND MY BROTHER ARE BEST BUDS, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HER THAT WELL. JOHNNY SEEMS TO HAVE SOME ISSUES AND HE'S NEVER NAPPED ANYWHERE BUT HOME. IF YOU WANT TO TELL THEM THAT YOU CAN'T WATCH THEIR KIDS, YOU WON'T HURT MY FEELINGS. DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO.

Oh, brother. I was worried that Johnny wasn't gonna settle in. So . . . I reached out to another teacher in my town who posted her need of an in-home daycare on FB. She was looking for 2 -3 days a week. She lives so close, has one 2.5 year old, Ricky. We met. She hired me. 

In my mind, Ricky was my backup kid. If Johnny didn't settle in over the next few weeks, I'd let his mom know that it wasn't gonna work. Then I'd still have Ricky 2 days a week. I was STILL trying to recapture the lost income from not having Wil on my schedule 3 days a week for four months leading up to January when Johnny and Lila would start. 

I was surprised when Ricky showed up for his first day. Um, Ricky is a very large 'little' guy. When he walked in my house on his first day, his mom was like YEAH, HE'S 50 POUNDS. WE JUST STARTED HIM ON A DIET. He's 2.5 years old. He was still in diapers. That was unpleasant. After a week, I told the mom he needed to be potty trained. No beating around the bush here. There was no way I was gonna continue to change him, he was bigger than most 8 year olds. I had to help him up and down off of the floor to change him. They don't make diapers in his size, so the weak diapers weren't great. They leaked. Fortunately he was easy going and got along well with the other 2 year old boys. He was excited to have buddies at my house and he wanted to go on the potty like his pals. The mom and I teamed up and by Christmas he was trained. 

I believe in 'the little things' but trust me, getting him in underwear was more of a big thing. 

Meanwhile, I felt like Johnny was adjusting a bit, but he was also only here once a week. The mom texted me A LOT. 

I decided that I'd waited too long to let Wil's folks know he needed to be assessed. Their refusal to admit that he had issues made caring for him very challenging. Nelly seemed unaware. What she considered a lack of socialization the rest of the world calls on-the-spectrum. I'm not opposed to caring for kids with issues, but I'm NOT specialized. I have no training to work with autistic children and if the parents aren't able to give me suggestions, because they don't recognize what's going on, then where does that leave us? 

I suggested to Nelly, after Johnny's 2nd or 3rd time at my house, that he might benefit from an assessment. His lack of speech, his flapping arms, his toe walking, his difficulty transitioning were possibly clues of a bigger issue. I again referenced the story of the boy in Becky's care who got therapy for a processing disorder and made enormous strides. I also pointed out that appointments might be easier to handle while on maternity leave.

She met with her pediatrician who said she saw no reason for an eval. Huh? This after 3 minutes with him? 

*I later learned that Nelly liked this doc because she was 'old school'. Um, an out of date pediatrician isn't old school, she's just uninformed. Nelly told me that she had appointments set up. I later learned that she didn't have him assessed. 

Do you think Johnny is still in my care? Do you think Coach was so good at family room soccer entertainment, he quit his physical therapy gig and took over for me? Or what do you think will happen next as the world turns at Ernie's daycare? 

he just knows so much

I want to thank all of you for the supportive comments and heartfelt suggestions last week when I shared how my family of origin is unable to congratulate me for getting my funny story published. I appreciate all of you more than you can know. Suz mentioned that the link didn't work. I did a little digging and I found it - it was in their archives. If you haven't read it and you want to, it's here:  https://deadmule.com/erin-savage-memoir-feb-2022/

**********

Europe stories forthcoming, promise. Things to look forward to:  funny bits, mind blowing frustrations, and some hangry hurdles. Get excited. 

Long overdue:  summary of the goings-on of my in-home daycare and the ups and downs I've experienced this school year and the people who made this year, um, shall we say UNFORGETTABLE. *this is a prequal to BB, or bubble boy. 

It's always nice when my current families roll over from the end of one school year to the following fall. It eliminates new-family-search stress. There's less of a learning curve. Same families/different school year equates to them knowing the drill. 

This is my 7th year of babysitting in my home. My goal is 10 years. Will I survive it? What's your over/under number?

I think I've encountered just about every type of weirdo out there. Weirdos flock to me. Just ask Becky, who also babysits. She and I have belly laughed about the wack-a-doodles who find me. Fortunately, I haven't ended up with each of them, sometimes I sense that we aren't on the same page and I say HELL NO. Other times, they end up here and I want to pull out what's left of my very thin hair.

One woman:  CAN MY TODDLER SLEEP IN A CLOSET THERE? HE NEEDS DARK. At home she taped the windows, stuffed towels around the door. When she aditted she only needed temporary care, I was like OH, I DON'T DO TEMP. STILL she messaged to say that she'd be dropping tot off the next morning. I was like NO. DO NOT BRING YOUR CHILD HERE. Ba-bye. 

On the flip side, I've been blessed to work for some outstanding people. I had two families pay me from March '20 thru early June '20 when I wasn't even able to watch their kids. Some of the parents I sit for are lovely people who become friends. They've teared up when I wept sharing with them Violet's diagnosis. They were extraordinarily supportive during our failed adoption journey. They've been accepting of the addition of Finn, the uninvited, TEMPORARY pup who begs them to pet him at pickup. 

They are extremely grateful for the care I give to their little guys. Boy oh boy, I'm here to tell you (what you probably already know):  gratitude goes a LONG way. 

In September, I didn't have to shop for any new families. This was huge considering H and D had just moved in. I had twins 2x a week. Wilhelm 3x a week. L and new baby sis El 3x a week. C and A 3 days a week. Thursday off. 

The twins attend Goddard School, a daycare, on the days they aren't with me. Last year the grandma watched them opposite me, but she wanted a break. Remember their 1st day here this school year? They'd been at Goddard a few days prior. Twin-Mom realized when they got home that they had a fever. Hand foot mouth disease, HFM. Nightmare. 

I shut down for a week. All the littles got it, except for Wilhelm. Wilhelm really didn't engage with the other kids. Kept to the perimeter of their play. He was almost 3, but could only repeat things. He was the guy who'd pace back and forth at the threshold no matter how many times we told him to run to the potty. He struggled to communicate his needs, to put it mildly. 

*let me preface this story with a disclaimer:  His mom was clueless for MANY reasons. She showed up late to pick up or over an hour late to drop off, like my schedule and what I had planned with the other tots mattered little. Her 8  year old plays unlimited video games, Mini babysat for them on the weekends, screen time was unending for both boys - they'd even wheel a different TV into the living room so each boy could have 'his shows', she couldn't say no. 

Becky on the deck with a small version of Finn.
A small crowd of little people admiring Finn (and Becky) out
the door to the deck. Will I be bored when I retire?
Will people make me nuts before that day?

I don't mean to be insensitive to W's issues. My own kids had issues, but as a caregiver it's my role to share my observations. After several weeks' long vacay in '21, the dad told me Wil was talking SO much. 

I said "HOW ARE YOU WILHELM?" And he said to me, "HOW ARE YOU WILHELM?" That isn't talking more. It's repeating more. 

Over the summer, me to Wilhelm's clueless mom aka 'CL':   Not sure if this is on your radar, but I think he needs a speech assessment. Maybe he has a processing thing going on. (I sited a kid Becky once watched who got therapy for a processing issue and the results blew us away).  

CL:  It's on my radar. With covid, I just haven't wanted to take him. He just knows so much. 

WHAT ON EARTH? HE MEMORIZES HIS COLORS SO 'HE KNOWS SO MUCH'? HE DOESN'T PLAY WITH TOYS, BUT JUST NOTES THEIR COLOR. HE CAN'T TELL ME THAT HE'S HUNGRY WHEN YOU FAIL TO MENTION THAT HE DIDN'T HAVE BREAKFAST (usually eats at his house) YET EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE AN HOUR LATE AND I DON'T SEE HIS BREAKFAST STUFF IN HIS LUNCH BOX UNTIL LUNCHTIME. 

She has him assessed. He has Echolalia, which can be a symptom of autism. 

CL is not a teacher. Wilhelm was at our house over the summer 3x a week. The girls watched him, technically, but when something came up for them - it fell to me. These were not the easiest of people to deal with. 

When I had to let everyone know that their kids had been exposed to HFM, CL was upset. 

CL:  I didn't know the twins were going to Goddard. 

Me:  Oh. Yep. They go there this year when they aren't here.

CL:  Well, they're probably in the toddler room. They probably don't wear masks, because they aren't 2 yet. What are you going to do about this?

Me:  (in my head) YOU HAVE COMPLETELY OVERESTIMATED HOW MUCH I LIKE YOU AND YOUR KID. 

Me:  (out loud) Well, I can't control everything. All the tots I sit for could hang out at Chuck E Cheese after they leave here and I would have no idea. 

Friday when Wilhelm was due to come to my house, CL texted saying he had a cold. He's had a cold a million other times, but he's still come to my house. I suspected this related to the twins' Goddard attendance. 

Monday am, she cancelled again. I was at Mini's tennis match that evening when CL called me.

CL:  So this just happened so suddenly, but my job just changed and I'm going to have to work until 6 pm now. And (implied: my dope-ass husband) can't pick up (even though he works from home, which is less than a mile from my house). We're going to have to do something different for childcare. 

Me:  Hey CL, so this is early September. I babysit for teachers. How am I supposed to find a replacement now? Let's not kid ourselves, you're leaving because of the twins going to Goddard. I can't control everything or everybody. 

CL:  Oh, no I know that. It's really just my job. We'll pay you for 2 weeks. 

That was total crap. She knew before the school year started what setting I offered. I never gave anyone a guarantee about where the other tots were when they weren't at my house. I'd watched Wilhelm and dealt with his issues and his folks' issues for almost 3 years. I could not control everything. Why didn't she make other arrangements during the summer if she was worried about covid so I had a chance to find another family? Total crap. 

Next:  how I filled that void, and the answer to the question:  SO HOW'S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?

celebrating sibling day, my way

I swear one day I'll get around to sharing snippets of our trip to Europe here. I want to vent, hope you don't mind. 

A few days after we got back, Lad shared with us that he'd tried to get together with Ann's son, my nephew 'Reg' while we were away. 

*Ann didn't speak to me for a year after I had my Reg, because she had a 9 year old named Reg. Well, it was my favorite name FOREVER, which was no secret, and this was my 4th son and our kids have different last names. My maiden name is also a popular boys' first name. Ann used our surname for her first born son and forbid me from using it. What on earth? In case you missed the memo, Ann is VERY controlling.

Cousin Reg,  or 'CR', just moved to Indianapolis a few months ago. He's a year older than Lad and just landed his first job after college. 

Lad said CR wanted to bring his mom's dog over to hang out with he and Finn. Ann said no, because . . .  wait for it . . . she's too mad at me, as is Marie, as is our mom, etc. "Because of some story your mom wrote." 

Well. I sensed Ann was angry with me back in Feb when she came to one of Reg's b-ball games. She wouldn't speak to me, only sneered. I wondered if she didn't like Driving with Bird Girl, (link to my published story in question) or maybe she was upset that my kids weren't cooperating fast enough with her request to send her notes about why they love Nana so she could include them in a photo book she was compiling. 

I called her the next day and asked her what was up. She ignored my first 3 calls, then finally picked up and sneered at me again, but refused to divulge what her issue was. 

OK, you're mad. At least be adult enough to articulate why. 

I thought I'd nipped jetlag in the bud, but I started getting up really early. I was upset. Here's why:  We were raised to have a thick skin. I have often been the butt of the joke in the family. I told a light hearted, hilarious story from over 35 years ago and suddenly no one has a sense of humor. Plus, why not speak up if you have a problem? 

Take the tone from Ross on Friends:  'WE WERE ON A BREAK' and insert 'IT WAS FUNNY!'

I'd sensed that something was up. None of my siblings or my parents commented, congratulated, or reached out in anyway about my published story. I don't need their praise - it would be nice though, enough people told me how much they enjoyed the story. But, really their lack of response made me sad. 

My youngest brother's wife texted me the day after I sent the link. She found it hilarious. Loved it. Asked if I was writing other things, etc. Aunt Leprechaun texted to say congrats on doing what I love, but either hadn't read it at that point or had read it and didn't comment on the 'controversial' subject matter. Maybe my brothers didn't read it? 

The morning after Lad told me about this fallout I called Marie. Honestly, I don't talk to my sisters much. I used to. In recent years, I've found that they tend to be narrowminded, whiney, judgmental, and they act twice their age. They talk to one another a ton. I used to try to spend time with them, but we aren't really on the same page. 

Ann doesn't like me, it's just that simple. She tells me to stop talking if I tell a story with energy. She criticizes things that I do, or how I do them. Once when my kids were young and I mentioned how I did such and such (no clue what, but I believe it had something to do with a playdate gone bad), she literally said THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DO. Huh? Just because that's not what YOU would do, doesn't mean it isn't what I would do. Being upfront is not their default mode. So, they gravitate towards each other. I find their gripe sessions epic.

My mother joins them for lunch or weekends away, and I'm not included. They think nothing of this. I live walking distance to my mom's house. Since Ann got divorced the family has adopted a 'POOR ANN' mentality and they tiptoe around her to make her happy. My presence isn't part of that equation, so I'm out. 

Do I enjoy my sisters' company? No, quite honestly I find them to be stuffy and irritating. Does it still hurt that I'm always excluded? Yep. Perhaps mostly that is because my mom is part of their circle. I used to do a ton with my mom. Not anymore. Marie calls her daily at 5:00 and if I happen to try to call my mom at that time, she will not click over from the other line. 

When I called Marie, I said:  SO YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF BIRD GIRL?

Marie:  I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

Me:  SAY CONGRATS, IT WAS FUNNY.

Marie:  PARTS OF IT WERE FUNNY AND PARTS WERE REALLY MEAN.

Me:  WHAT? ARE YOU STILL THAT HURT ABOUT A HAIRCUT FROM 3O SOME YEARS AGO?

Marie:  I'M AT WORK. I CAN'T DO THIS RIGHT NOW.

Me:  OK. WHEN DO YOU WANT (click - she hung up) TO DO 'THIS' BECAUSE IT WAS PUBLISHED TWO MONTHS AGO AND YOU'VE SAID NOTHING. WHEN IS A GOOD TIME? 

A few days later my mom came out of her house when she saw me on my walk. She wanted to give me an envelope for Mini's bday. After we chatted, I told her that I was hurt that no one could say anything about my story. (when prompted my mom had eventually said:  IT WAS VERY INFORMATIVE, as if I'd written a piece about he migration of birds, a moment later Reg burst in the house saying he needed me to drive him back to school because he forgot he had practice and that conversation ended). 

Me:  WHEN DID WE BECOME A HUMORLESS PEOPLE? I KNOW MY SISTERS HAVE LITTLE GRIPE SESSIONS WITH YOU. I'VE ASKED ANN WHY SHE ISN'T TALKING TO ME. SHE WON'T TELL ME. SHE TREATS PEOPLE SO POORLY AND NO ONE HOLDS HER ACCOUNTABLE. I'M HURT AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO FROM HERE.

Mom:  WELL, I DON'T TALK TO THEM ABOUT THAT STUFF. (no way is that true) I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF DAD READ IT. 

Hold the phone, this is NOT helping. It actually makes matters worse. He didn't bother to read it? The man that loves to read? 

Ann posted this pic. Happy family appearance upheld?

Than the other day Ann posted a photo of the 5 of us on her FB page to celebrate national sibling day. Why? This boiled my blood. She cares too much about appearances to NOT post something. She's a robot, if she did it before, she must do it again.

I want to post a photo of me, alone, and thank my siblings for making me who I am:  independent, genuine, engaging, open minded, and strong. 

Then Marie texted Mini and I to say that she had a gift to drop off for Mini's bday. No mention of finishing the conversation and about how she hung up on me. So that's what we're doing? Just pretending this didn't happen? 

We are supposed to go to the Lake hotel thing for to celebrate my mom's 80th. I honestly don't know if I want to go anymore. It might be torture. My parents are the hub of this wheel. They drive a lot of the behavior and the way people treat one another. 

OK, friend. What would you do? 

Irish dancing news, and flash back videos

In the fall, something was up. I would attend Curly's school b-ball games, bring a thermos with her dinner, her dance bag, a change of clothes, and a READY TO BOLT MENTALITY. 

After her game, I'd review what I'd brought for her while jogging towards the door, DID I FORGET ANYTHING?

Curly:  AH, I'LL JUST GO HOME AND EAT AND GO TO DANCING LATE. I WANNA TAKE MY TIME.

Me:  (looks around the gym for signs of alien life, and a body snatching UFO) OH, OK. 

When I asked when she wanted a private lesson, she'd respond with:  I'M GOOD. 

Never feeling the need to do more, I shrugged it off. Also, private lessons aren't cheap. 

*her 'good' translated to good without one, but I was like I know you're good, but we usually do private lessons to get better, right?  My guess is that on average when leading up to a major competition, she'd take a private every week for about 5-7 weeks (so 4 days in the studio vs 3, if you're counting), give or take. This fall, she only did one. ONE!

*******

Mini asked me:  HAS CURLY SAID ANYTHING ABOUT DANCING?

Me:  NO, WHY? 

Mini:  SHE'LL TELL YOU WHEN SHE'S READY. 

Um, huh?

Driving to dancing one day after the boys had moved out and I was starting to focus on regular life stuff, I asked Curly what was up.

Curly:  IT JUST ISN'T FUN ANYMORE. I'M READY TO BE DONE. IT'S KIND OF A HASSLE (is it now? you're just figuring that out?). I WANNA PLAY MORE BASETBALL.

I almost called out:  JESUS, TAKE THE WHEEL - like literally, because who can drive when such exciting news is shared? 

Then there were tears. Not mine, silly. I managed to refrain from shedding my tears of joy. 

Poor, passionate, devoted, sweet Curly wept. She wept for her dancing teacher, Mary. She loves that woman. They have a special bond. Aside from dancing, Mary loves Curly-the-kid's sense of humor, great attitude, and extreme thoughtfulness. 

Me:  MARY WILL STILL LOVE YOU. I'LL GO WITH YOU WHEN YOU DECIDE TO TELL HER.

This conversation happened a month before championships. Not the time to announce anything. I thought she'd dance till the end of 8th grade. She clarified:  NOPE, I'M DONE THE MINUTE THE BIG COMPETITION IS OVER.

You could've blown me over with a leprechaun's fart. 

Then she took 3rd in the Midwest, after 9th in the nation back in AZ in July. There was no puking at the November competition. She was relaxed. I was relaxed. She danced beautifully, which she honestly does even when puking/nervous. 

3rd was a personal best. Would she keep going? Attend another world championship, since the two prior were cancelled? Before the competition, I worried that she'd flop and then she'd stick with it just to end on a high note. I gave her some space after the competition, I mean not immediately - I was busy hugging the heck out of her. 

A week or two later I asked if she still, ya know, wanted to walk away from this thing she's done since like age 3 or 4. She didn't even hesitate:  YEP. I'M DONE. 

Covid was ramping up. Christmas party cancelled. Classes bumped to zoom. Curly wanted the quitting conversation over with. 

********

Jan. 20th I texted Mary:  CAN WE STOP BY YOUR HOUSE (a hike) WITH YOUR CHRISTMAS GIFT? 

She said no, she was heading out of town. CAN WE CALL YOU THEN? She sensed something was up. 

Mary freaked:  I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS. I LOVE YOUR KID TOO MUCH TO BE HEARTBROKEN. I LOST 2 PEOPLE IN TH LAST 2 DAYS TO COVID, THIS WILL BE WORSE. 

Remember the brat dancer, the one whose mother I hollered at? Well, Curly  told this girl that she might quit soon. Brat girl leaked it. A teacher from a 'sister' studio hollered to Curly after she'd come off stage with her big ass trophy:  YOU CAN'T QUIT NOW! 

Curly:  (insert nervous laugh) HUH? I'M NOT QUITTING. 

Curly has too much class to say:  THANKS EVERYBODY, DONE THOUGH. I felt it was  inappropriate for that teacher to bring it up. 

Me (1/20th):  CURLY'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU. CAN YOU FACETIME?

The scene:  Mini sat off camera. I sat on the bed with Curly. When Mary popped up on screen, and said WHAT'S UP SWEETHEART? Curly started to talk, but had trouble with words. She whimpered. 

I'M DONE. IT JUST ISN'T FUN ANYMORE. 

I translate tear-talk, so I shared with Mary what Curly was trying to express. 

Watching my child so heartbroken, well of course I wept. Curly sobbed, Mini wiped away tears. Reg decided to be cute . Tried to barge in and be silly, being 'that' brother , not getting that no one had requested comic relief. Mini was too close to the door to let idiot-brother-nonsense through. NOPE, YOU'RE NOT COMING IN!

The worst part:  Mary wouldn't let her go. She poked and prodded. Acted angry. 

Now, come ON. She sensed it was coming. Curly hadn't done a single zoom class. Big mouth had leaked it. I know this was a blow, but this is a child. A child who is making a difficult decision, but it is ultimately her decision. 

********

Back up the bus:  on the drive to Joe's funeral with Drizella and Anastasia, Ann was surprised when I explained what a relief it was that Curly had quit. WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAKING HER DANCE? 

*and in the movie version of my life, the frame freezes and I turn to speak to the camera, saying:  EXHIBIT A, THIS MORON DOESN'T KNOW ME AT ALL. SHE MAKES ASSUMPIONS AND DOESN'T BOTHER TO LEARN THE TRUTH. HOW ARE WE RELATED? 

********

Mary:  JUST COME ONCE A WEEK. DIAL IT DOWN. IT'S NOT LIKE BASKETBALL IS PLAYED ALL YEAR. 

Curly:  I PLAY ALL YEAR. 

Mary:  BUT YOU COULD WIN THE WHOLE THING NEXT YEAR. YOU'RE SO GOOD. 

It wasn't pretty. No way could Curly do something half ass. Dial it down? Have you met her? I told Mary before we hung up that I know this was hard and Curly  not being able to hug her was extra hard. Mary just kind of held her head in her hands, looking defeated. I nudged Curly and whispered, SAY GOOD-BYE.

Curly (whispered):  LOVE YOU, MARY. I'M SORRY. 

She facetimes her BFF after the challenging phone call. Her BFF said:  I MEAN, I KINDA GET WHY SHE'S UPSET. YOU'RE JUST SO LOVABLE.

******

I sent Mary a nice letter, saying how grateful we are for all that she is to Curly and how we want to stay in touch. I asked her to respect Curly's decision, because it wasn't easy. Mary texted me CURLY IS MY FAVORITE CHILD EVER. I NO LONGER WANT TO TEACH. I told her Curly would love to come help teach a class here and there. When classes were in person, I drove Curly to the studio and she gave Mary the gift. They hugged it out. She got back in the car sniffling, said she felt better. Mary told her that she'd always love her and that she isn't mad. Then we got ice cream. (obviously)

To fast forward to Curly - go to 2:56 pm. Curly's debut at a Tir Na Nog. This is for kids who had never had a lesson, so lots of fakers. Parents aren't allowed to film Irish dancing, but for this fun thing it was encouraged. 

video circa 2009, real names, real faces. Can you guess who Curly is? Cuteness factor - off the charts, me thinks. Lad isn't featured here. He played music - no dancing, but he isn't in this snippet. He is in earlier part, but he must've left the room. 

And that, my friends, closes a VERY lengthy chapter of our lives. I've had dancers for over about 15 years. No, I DO NOT MISS IT. Not at all. We had a good run. Lots of adventures. Enough to include in a book. Fingers crossed. 

Basketball is keeping us pretty busy, but the 'costumes' are cheap, there's no leg tanning, there are sometimes scholarships, and my kid can do what she wants with her beautiful hair, which usually means wear it up in a bun. 

Dancing dresses on parade

Curly outgrew her beautiful Irish dancing dress during the pandemic. 

1.  It was the first dress we'd ever had custom made. It isn't THAT much more expensive to have a NEW dress made anymore vs buying someone else's used dress. Maybe because there are more people/companies making dresses? I own more dresses than I care to admit, because I used to only be a bargain dress shopper. No one want those dresses when we're done with 'em.

2.  If you buy a used dress, it gets even more challenging to sell it when your dancer is done. No one wants a dress previously owned twice. These dresses are like a Jennifer Aniston hairdo - they get classified as outdated CRAZY fast (really, unsure if that's the case, but it sounds right). 

So . . . buying a NEW dress means you have half a chance of selling it and getting SOMETHING back vs trying to sell a dress that everyone and their grandmother once wore. Because Curly is an experienced dancer, her teacher would NEVER let her wear something outdated. 

This is me. Talk about outdated.
Circa 1984. If you're thinking about
tracing my history in the artifacts to see
my true identity based on this dress -
 don't bother. I was NOT a decent dancer.
 No one cataloged my path.

#473 why you should NOT get your kid involved in Irish dancing. In case you haven't been paying attention. 

We ordered a new dress from the same guy that made that green one above (the first custom dress we ever ordered). We love his work. It's beautiful. He's fairly new to the dancing dress scene. Since he's in Belfast IRELAND, he facetimed us in order to make sure I did a good job getting Curly's measurements. 

Curly is tall, but she has a really straightforward shape. She has an athletic build. There aren't any unexpected disproportionate parts. 

Ah, youth. 

The facetime session went well. Mr. Belfast complimented me on what a great job I did measuring. Since I can sort of sew, I own a tape measure and I'm not afraid to use it. I puffed my chest a little and did the HEY, I ONCE MADE A DANCING DRESS strut. *I will not perform the strut here, but I invite you to use your imagination.

Back of her recently
outgrown dress.

Killed me to cover up this face. So cute.
The face, that is, and I really think
the dress was cute too in a HEY I'M A
BEGINNER AND MY MOM DOESN'T
WANNA PAY CRAZY MONEY FOR A DRESS
 THAT THE TEACHERS ARE TRYING TO
 MAKE HER BUY. See chapter 16 in future
 Irish dancing tell-all book. Kidding,
 I have no idea what chapter it is,
 but the story that corresponds is gold. 

I DID make a dancing dress for Mini when she was little. (navy dress with bubble like skirt)

Her dancing teachers forbid me from making a dress. Naturally, that only spurred me on.

I showed Mr. Belfast my homemade dress in our Facetime session so he could 'admire' it. Kidding, I knew it would make him laugh. And it did. I was raised with this gift: BETTER BE ABLE TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF - EVERYONE ELSE IS. 

So, Mr. Belfast and I yucked it up a bit. 

He mentioned in his emails prior to the video chat that he'd JUST started his business when the pandemic hit. 

Coach and I tried to support local small businesses that were hurting during the pandemic. Nothing crazy generous, mind you - we gots a few mouths to feed. Mr. Belfast's business wasn't on my 'radar.' After his comment, I decided I'd give him $100 to support his efforts in re-launching his small business as he was just getting it up and running AGAIN. 

Not that an Irish dancing dress wasn't already crazy pricey. 

We were blown away by the wonderful design that he sent in drawings via email. But when the dress came, we were IN AWE. It was stunning.

The dress is so amazing, you almost
don't notice that I erased my
daughter's face, right?

Photos I took
 of short
 sleeves and
 skirt. They're
supposed
 to be short,
 but lawdy.

*Truth:  he asked for ideas. From me? Um. I swear I'm creative, but I was stuck. HMM, CURLY PLAYS FIDDLE. CAN YOU PUT A FIDDLE ON IT? HOW ABOUT A PAIR OF DANCING SHOES? SHAMROCKS (hello original). 

********

For some reason this string of 'creative' dress ideas reminds me of the song:  Boogie in Your Butt by Eddie Murphy. 

The lyrics (swap out 'in your butt' and insert 'on the dress'):  

Say, put a tree in your butt

Put a, a bumblebee in your butt

Put a clock in your butt

Is anyone getting that connection? It's late, maybe I should just go to bed. 

*********

Curly's dancing teacher caught wind of my 'suggestions' and sent word thru Curly DON'T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS. (reading between the lines here:  you suck). Duly noted. 

The only issue - the most gorgeous dress we'd ever seen was . . . wrong. It didn't fit. The sleeves were supposed to be sheer - that's the latest fad. Ice-skater arms. The back pieces didn't match up. It was WAY too short. 

She wore it in AZ in July (gosh that seems like a century ago, present life circumstances aging me beyond words apparently *I believe I first started this post in the fall, after the boys moved out.) The teacher liked the sleeves, and I was like FINE, I'M NOT A FAN OF SHEER SLEEVES ANYWAY, BUT WANTED TO MAKE A DRESS I COULD RESELL. 

You have to look close - but see how the back
 embroidery pieces don't exactly line up?
 The point at the bottom of the skirt is off
 center because SOMEONE PUT THIS DRESS
 TOGETHER AFTER BEING IN A PUB
 AND HAVING A FEW GUINNESS
(pure speculation). 

This imperfect dress arrived mid June, and in a rare moment of clarity I woke up a few days before the Thanksgiving competition and realized that I never sent the dress back for him to fix after AZ. I considered taking it somewhere local and having it fixed here and have him foot the bill. He agreed to that way back in June. Last thing I needed before the Thanksgiving competition was to play Where's Waldo with her dancing dress. 

*EDITING TO ADD:  drafted this post before the Thanksgiving competition. We ended up NOT fixing any of the issues and it was FINE. Remember, she got 3rd. Will it one day sell though?

Honestly, the mistakes aren't all that noticeable, but RESALE IS KEY HERE. Regardless, I'm still crazy about Mr. Belfast. He's the cutest, sweetest, young Irish guy. Maybe when restarting his business, he had to skimp on good help. 

My advice to him:  lay off the drink when sewing, please. 

**********

I bumped this post in the fall to share other 'stuff' that kept happening. I have SO much to chat with you about, like our trip to Europe, and my daycare drama during the year. I need some time to get over this DANG JETLAG, organize my house (I can handle clutter, but we are dealing with an extreme disordered disaster area over here).  Until then get excited to read about the 'final' chapter of the Irish dancing saga. 

Guesses are welcome . . . Do you think Curly quit? Or do you think Curly tried to quit, but her teacher begged her not to and she opted to keep dancing? Or, do you think I started my own Irish dancing dress business in my free time? You're welcome to fill in your own prediction below. 

teeth dreams and b-ball coaching

Oh, speaking of sleep (even though my messed up sleep was a while ago, this part of the story was supposed to go with the initial post, but I chopped everything up to make it more manageable) - I had a dream a week before we left for Europe. I was on some kind of voyage on a boat going to a new land or something and the people running the show/in charge of my destiny removed all of my teeth and then shoved them back in place. I didn't even wake up with swollen gums, as one would expect. It was super strange. I can still remember the dream, but it was so strange that I can't quite articulate it. 

Two blankets, TWO!

Becky (HI BECKY) said it's a sign that I'm about to come into money, but maybe that's a delayed reaction to Mini getting the Evans scholarship. I didn't tell anyone about the dream and the NEXT morning Reg woke up and told me that he had a dream that his teeth all fell out. 

Come on. Do you read dreams? What does this mean?

I don't have a photo to correspond with my teeth all coming out and being shoved back in while in REMM, let us be grateful for small things . . .  but here's sleeping  concept that's new to me, and in my estimation:  BRILLIANT. 

We stayed in two different Airbnbs that were set up with a king sized bed and individual duvets or comforters or whatever. Did you know about this? No more fighting over covers with a spouse. Am I alone in my excitement here? Of course Coach and I are still sleeping in a queen sized bed. 

I just typed 'bed' with an 'a' by accident instead of the 'e'. Coincidence?

******

This stinks:

Days after the 3 point competition, Reg's high school coach announced his resignation. This was his first year coaching at our school. That stung. Reg worked hard to impress him. Poor Reg. 

A kid, 'State-Guy', who was supposed to be a senior at our high school, transferred to another 'STATE' high school in the fall. State Guy lived down the street from us and Reg was excited to play with him on varsity. Reg was bummed when State-Guy's family SOLD THEIR HOUSE in order to rent an apartment near the STATE high school. He's the youngest of their two boys, both serious b-ball players, and they were ready to downsize. They've already bought a townhouse back in our town, so that they can move back after State- Guy graduates.

When we learned that they were moving for b-ball last summer, Reg looked at us and asked:  WILL WE MOVE IF I WANT TO GO TO A DIFFERENT HIGH SCHOOL THAT HAS A BETTER BASKETBALL PROGRAM? Um, hard no. 

We're dedicated basketball parents, but not THAT dedicated. 

State-Guy wanted to win a state title and this other team had all the makings of a state team. At our Madhouse hotel during the 3-point contest, a kid from the State contender school saw Reg's school hoodie and asked him if he knew State-Guy. We were all like, YEP, WE KNOW. 

They won state  easily. State-Guy's going division 1. The program you play for at your high school matters. All that to say, it really stinks that our long time coach retired just before Reg got there and now this newbie resigned. *Sigh*

*******

Meanwhile, Curly's travel practices for her new team are FAR away at a Catholic high school on the south side. My cousin when there. I know other people who went there. It's a good school. Loads of Irish folks attend that school. The high school's coach (who knows her travel coach) was at Curly's practice recently. 

When Curly arrived, her coach sent her across the gym to talk to the high school coach. 

Catholic High coach said:  WE WANT YOU TO COME HERE AND PLAY BASKETBALL AND GO TO CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL.  

Of course Curly wants to go to our local high school, as all of her siblings have. But the Catholic high school has an excellent girls' program. Ours doesn't. Plus, I'm guessing they'd offer her scholarship money. Are you aware of how much I like a deal? The driving to the south side alone makes me shudder. 99.9% sure  we aren't going to send her there, but they DO have a boys' Catholic school across the parking lot. Do we consider sending both kids that direction? Something to think about? 

*********

Would you sell your house for your kid's sports? Did your kids attend a high school far from home? What do you know about dreams of teeth?