February 12, 2019

Lulu who?

For Christmas one of the moms I sit for gave me a red Lululemon quarter zip.  Mini gasped when I opened it.  I have never owned a Lulu.  It was a very nice gift, but red would not work with the majority of my workout wardrobe.  I decided to exchange it for something in the gray or black family.

I almost fell over when the cashier told me how much money I had to spend for my exchanged item.  I started to feel like maybe I should buy something more like real clothes, because why spend so much on something you just intend to sweat in?  Remember me?  I am SUPER practical!  I had sworn that I would not spend much time in this store.  Get in.  Get out.  No chance.

This is the kind of store where the employees act like they want to be your friend.  I want to whisper to them that I do not have all that much money to spend relative to their usual customers, so they probably don't need to bother with the buddy routine.  I tried not to feel self conscious about the fact that aside from a pretty intense workout schedule, I did not feel like I belonged there.  I am not a regular.  Could they tell that?  I did not have money to toss to the wind.  Was that obvious?

exhibit A:  super warm coat
Side note:  I was wearing my very expensive winter coat.  I LOVE the fact that it is super warm and that it zips to the top of the hood.  I purposely spent a lot of money on this coat, BECAUSE I wanted warmth and I didn't want to have to shop for a winter coat AGAIN any time soon.

Well, I have had it for 3 years, and the seams on the insides of the arms are coming undone for no reason.  (see photo).  So now it looks like I am wearing a cheap coat.  I bought it at Nieman Markus, a place I don't normally shop.  When I called recently, they told me to find my original receipt and then they could have their tailor do something with it.  They no longer carry that brand.  Really?  An original receipt from 3 years ago?  What is the tailor going to do?  A friend suggested that I color the white parts with a sharpie.
See what I mean?
 This should not have happened!
 The coat is by Duvetica. 
Other than this - I lovve it!

So, while I was shopping at this pricey, wealthy -people magnet store, I was trying to peruse the racks without showing my white seams - which is to say that I was trying not to move my arms all that much.  Not an easy task while shopping.  It didn't take long for the employees to decide that they didn't want to be my friend.

I took some things in the changing room and decided that I looked like an old lady with my granny, cheater glasses (which are necessary if I want to see the mind-blowing price tags) and my damn thinning hair.  The lighting in these places (and the strategically placed mirrors so that you CAN see all the angles whether you want to or not) just kill me.  The angles I hate most are the ones where I can see my scalp from the side of my head.  Before I can try anything on I end up fluffing my hair to hide the sides of my exposed head.  To other people, it probably isn't that bad - but I am sensitive.
This is the one that is
gray but has a lavender
tone to it.  It got pretty solid
reviews from the fam.

(Not sure why I look
 jaundice here).
This is the quarter zip. 
Also high marks from
 the peanut gallery -
that included Coach. 
Found out later that he
didn't know I had an item to
 exchange at the store,
 and he thought I just decided
to start shopping there.
  Interesting though, because he
didn't complain. 
I was like, Have we met?
Family members
 voted this one down.
I ended up buying three different things.  Um, yes - this means that I spent more than my allotted over-the-top, exchanged-item budget.  I decided that I needed the girls and maybe (if I am feeling like his opinion matters) Coach to vote.

One is a black, quarter zip.  I don't typically like quarter zips, because I only wear them before and after my workouts.  Pulling things over my head when I start to get sweaty is rough because I always workout in a baseball hat.  But this quarter zip was very flattering.  Who can say that about a quarter zip?  The other is a full zip workout jacket.  It looked gray in the store, but maybe it is a little lavender?  And a gray sweater kind of thing.  Decisions.

The whole thing left me looking around my classes wondering, how do these women afford to almost exclusively workout wearing Lululemon?  (Not to mention, how do they know how to get the dang strappy tops and bras on?  Notice, I steered clear of those.)  And why did I not create a silly-sounding, brand name that would be comfortable to workout in and super stylish, that I could charge ridiculous prices for?

Then I remember my former zoo-member t-shirt days, and I answered my own question.

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