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February 14, 2019

setting the Wednesday scene

Coach comes home early on Wednesdays, which is a lifesaver considering what goes down on a Wednesday.

Before I bore you with details about who goes where on a Wednesday, let me set the scene for this particular Wednesday:

Scary, on a better day, playing on a play
 mat and Mack helping him find the toys.
FIRST:  I have a new baby I sit for whose blog name is Scary, because he was born on Halloween.  His mom reserved a spot in my home back in the summer, (lest you think he is a replacement for psycho Narcey's kids).  I had high hopes for a chunky, easy-breezy, three month old. 

Scary has reflux.  He has a milk protein allergy.  His formula expires after one hour.  He needs to gain weight.  To that end, he NEEDS to eat.  Guess what?  He struggles to drink a bottle.  Can you hear those soft sobs?  It's me whimpering.

His folks have been thrilled that I could get him to drink his bottles better than anyone.  They asked me to ramp him up to 5 ounces from 4.  Me:  'I got this.  Hey, this is my domain.' 

Wednesday:  Scary arrived with a cold (thanks to Joey who came with a really nasty cold last week, which earned him free-play, solo in the basement playroom each day.  No germ sharing on my watch).  Damn germs spread anyway- I must've blinked.  Scary WAS IMPOSSIBLE.  It took me 2 hrs to feed him 3.5 ounces.  After he had a huge blowout, I suspected that it was more of a tummy issue than his cold.  Coach thinks I'm crazy for blaming everything on poop, but I am rarely wrong. 

THEN:  We believe the novelty of being far away from home at college has worn off for Lad.  He calls home daily- sometimes more than once a day.  If I was in a joking mood, I would ask my readers if they remember how impossible he was before college?  Rants about 'I am never coming home to visit during college!' are a distant memory. 

My non-joking manner stems from the fact that Coach and I have been quite concerned.  We don't dare say, 'Why are you calling home so much?  Do you miss us? (bust a gut laughing because that COULDN'T be possible).  If we ask why he is calling home so much, and he needs to feel a connection to us - then what happens if he is embarrassed to call home, who does he reach out to? 

Anyway, it has been weighing on my heart.  Then Wednesday:  Ed texted me during school to say that he is worried about Lad.  My weighted-down heart sank.  Ed was all:  'Talk tonight' - I was all: 'No you tell me what is happening right now!'  Apparently, Lad texted Ed reminiscing about childhood.  I called Coach who was all:  'I have patients.'  And I was all:  'No God damn it, your patients can wait!'

So we decided to contact Chip -therapist who worked with us when kids had issues related to ADD.  I still see him a few times a year when I need to sort shit out.  I highly recommend this to anyone.  Well worth the money.  Stigma, pigma.  I, for one, am over it. 

Chip calmed me down.  He believes that Lad reaches out to us when he is overwhelmed or stressed.  Initially he thought it could have been because he was lonely, but I pointed out that he 1-has a girlfriend.  2- is thrilled the crappy assistant water polo coach quit.  3-had the whole team over to his apartment for the Superbowl.  4- seems to have friends and says he likes the school. 

Chip admitted that all of his kids went thru a phase in college where a flip was switched from 'I am going far away from you' to 'Can you visit me every other weekend?' 

Chip's advice was for Coach and I to call Lad a few times a week to check in with him.  Make sure he feels our presence.  Good advice, especially because then I can control when I call him.  Don't get me started about my kid's ill-timed phone calls.  Never fails.

Well, now you know what was stressing me out, I will need a whole other post to tell you about the perfect ending to my day.  Come back!  Promise?  I am vulnerable, are you not getting that?!

8 comments:

  1. Ugh! I can only imagine the stress of having a kid away at college. When my son is moody at dinner I spend the next 24 hours creating worst case scenarios in my mind about what could possibly be the problem. I think you have a good plan to call and check in on him. And I think it's great that he is calling you when he needs to talk.

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    1. He started out at school in Iowa. Then New York. I was never nervous. Never. I never worried. He would go a week without calling. This new behavior is so strange and so unsettling. I am glad that he is calling us when he feels like talking, but I cannot wrap my brain around it. He has academic challenges. He has to work very hard, and he really hasn't. Thus summer school, etc. I assume that he is not goofing off as much because he has to buckle down and study more and therefore not enjoying his time out there as much. Maybe his recent commitment to academics has distanced him from the crowd he usually hangs with. And maybe, just maybe he has realized that we aren't total idiots. Still. It has me a little unraveled.

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  2. Sounds like a good plan. I hope he starts to settle back in soon, it’s tough to have a “child” away and not be really sure how they’re doing. I’ll definitely be back for part 2!

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    1. I have never been a big advocate of 'you need a girlfriend' - I think life is busy enough. But since he is dating someone, I am kinda like, shouldn't that help? Doesn't he want to talk to her more than me? I don't like to beat around the bush so it is hard for me to not say, 'So WHAT is up? Why all the calls?' But I don't want to tick him off. Glad you will be back!

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  3. My oldest is a freshman in college and the first semester she was all I LOVE COLLEGE, I DON'T NEED MY PARENTS, LIFE IS GOOD. This semester, however, she is missing home A TON more. Winter is hard, the reality has sunk in, and home is good. Sending you a big hug.
    Also, my first time commenting here. Do I win anything?

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    1. Sorry your daughter is homesick. Is she far away? I never hesitated to let Lad go to New York. I think it was touch when he missed most of his water polo season with an injury, and our lack of visits when he wasn't playing. But he is a junior and has typically not gotten in touch with us for over a week at a time. This is freaking me out. Maybe it is just a delayed reaction, or like I said above - maybe he is just not living it up as much, because he has realized that he needed to crack the whip and get serious with his studies. I mean how much fun is summer school every summer? Just hoping and praying that that is all it is.

      As far as prizes go, I can offer you amazing Irish soda bread or chocolate chip cookies if we ever meet. Until then, leaving comments at your blog is about all I got! Any inside info on Eileen O'Connor and when she is going to blog again? I just stumbled upon her in your 'why don't these people blog more regularly' post and I already miss her!

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  4. I know Man-Child's first semester at college was the hardest for him - but I can totally see how that could be flipped to the second semester or later.

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    1. I guess it is possible for college kids to realize that their family rocks and that they miss them at different stages of college depending on what they are going thru. I suppose they all mature at different times. he probably didn't miss us before when he was having more fun - probably too busy getting into mischief to want to talk to his boring family. So, if that is the angle that I am going with, then it is all good. Right?!

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