September 6, 2019

wait, those socks weren't red?!

Finally Flakey landscaping customer texted Tank.  She was in Milwaukee at a wedding and had not realized that they had a set appointment.  He could not just show up to do the work. She had to be there. Besides, she found someone else who could do more stuff that she needed done. 

Well, this is a fine time to tell a 16 year old kid that you are cancelling. He could have caddied and made close to $100. I made him pull up her prior text messages so that I could inspect.  I know that Tank is not the best communicator, so I wanted to check it out. It looked to me as though they had a set appointment. Bull Shit! I instructed him to text her back and let her know that she would be charged a $20 cancellation fee.  This was a small price to pay, but I wanted her to grasp that she had messed up his day.  

Tank drafted a message that I edited BIG TIME.  Then he called his afternoon gig and made plans to go there earlier.  He sometimes pays his friends to drive him to these gigs, because he cannot always rely on me being available to drive him places.  Before you judge me for not being available to him, understand that he also struggles to time these jobs well enough to know when he is going to need a ride. I drive him when I can. His buddy dropped him off at his job, and I drove to the pool to try to snooze (remember me being tired and on a mission to get a few rays before picking up from dancing?).

I wasn’t poolside 20 minutes and Tank called.  ‘Yeah, so this lady thinks I need stitches. I think it is going to be fine, but I was cutting something and the blade slipped and it hit my shin.  She sprayed some of that germ stuff on it. She’s kind of freaking out. I just wanted to finish the job, but I told her I would call for a ride.’ 

I had to leave to get Curly in a few minutes and I was picking up other dancers.  I could not be late. I asked him where he was, and I told him I would call Coach.  Coach’s physical therapy clinic is across the street from the country club, so he sometimes works out at the health club and then goes to his office to get things done while he waits for caddies to text him to say they are ready for a ride.  They usually have a car at the course, but they don’t always finish at the same time.  

Coach told me he was about to pick up Mini and he was working on payroll while he waited.  He wanted Tank to text him the address and he would get him soon. Coach is the rub-dirt-in-it kind of guy, so if the wound was questionable I knew he would air on the side of ‘Ah, looks OK to me.’  You all remember my passing out history? Better for everyone, if I kept my distance. 

On the way home from my lengthy commute to dancing, I texted Coach from a stoplight.  ‘Stitches?’ Coach responded, ‘Oh yeah.’ Tank later told me his customer was worried he was going to bleed out and he had to keep reassuring her that he was OK.  I think our lack of emergent response did not impress her.  

This is the pic that Curly wanted to see,
 but was denied when she would not allow
Tank (who I suspect pulls her hair)
 to touch her mop.
Once home I asked to see the photos of the injury that was now all closed up with 4 stitches.  Tank showed me the picture on his phone and proudly stated, ‘The doctor at urgent care said he had never seen such a deep cut.’  Swell. Apparently he had been using a small landscaping saw to cut a branch of something and it slipped off of the branch. He stabbed himself right in the shin.  

Curly asked to see the picture.  He bargained with her: ‘Only if you let me touch your hair two times.’  Curly is like a poodle to the touch and her hair is DELIGHTFUL to play with. She will literally let anyone touch her hair.  She enjoys it, but NOT Tank. That was a deal breaker. No hair touches were granted to the wounded landscaper, so he would not show her the picture. I think Tank has a tendency to pull her hair while the rest of her admirers use extreme gentleness.
I don't mind a laundry challenge, but this is extreme.  

Me:  ‘Good thing you were wearing red socks.’  

Tanks:  ‘Oh, those weren’t red.’ 

And, again I ask: Why can't you just caddy? Heavy sigh.


Beth (A Moms Life) said...

Oh dear. Definitely toss that sock. I'm glad he's okay.

Kari said...

If anyone is judging you for paying someone to drive one of your SIX children somewhere, might they start offering their services to you. :)

Also, you really should have placed a disclaimer at the top of the post like, WARNING WARNING BLOOD AHEAD. I am not good with blood either.

Also part three, the quote, "it's just a flesh wound" from Monty Python crept in my head this entire post. Please ignore if you have no idea what I am talking about.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my lawd! He's lucky it wasn't worse than that, but that looks pretty gnarly. I'm glad that he's ok now though.
I'm laughing at the family wanting to pet Curly. I'd pay people to do that to me...I love having my hair brushed or scalp rubbed.

M.L. James said...

Okay, I truly wasn't expecting so Wow! I'm glad he's okay and that nothing got cut off. I don't know how you manage! Mona

Ernie said...

Have I mentioned that caddying presents less bodily harm instances?

Ernie said...

Ha! My folks flew to Ireland when I was in 7th grade. A teacher from our school who was Mom's friend came to sit for us. She thought my parents lived like barbarians, so she brought her microwave and VCR. It was the best 2 weeks of my teenage years. We rented movies daily. And, yes - we became hooked on Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Damn, that would have made a better title for this post!

Ernie said...

When one of his mowers was in the shop, I took a photo (on the sly of course) of the fix -it guy as he was pointing out what he had done to repair it. He was missing half of a few of his fingers. I showed it to Lad with a little 'Hmm how do ya think this happened?' Beware the injury potential of landscaping instruments.

Curly does love to have her hair 'squeezed' no brushing please. That is still reserved for people who don't pull. I sneezed my head off while wetting her hair down on Sat EARLY am to catch an early ass flight to see Lad play water polo. I told her that I think I must be allergic to poodle. I imagine it is like what it would be like to have a pet. Me and my damn allergies.

Ernie said...

I tend to pass the bloody assignments off to Coach. He is the medical guy. It was a very tiny cut but apparently pretty deep. They keep me on my toes.

Bibliomama said...

"Those socks weren't red" - that's awesome! When my son was at home playing competitive baseball but young enough that people still brought popsicles for after, we'd play a game with his uniform after games called "Blood or Snack?" Caddying does sound somewhat more... civilized.

Ernie said...

Oh how great were those assigned snack days for little league? Do. Not. Miss. That. I once forgot I was snack mom - I was early on in a pregnancy and my brain suffered. We do have a neighbor kid (now an adult), Mary Ann's son in fact - if you haven't read about my neighbor Mary Ann, do a search and read about her. Unreal. Anyway, her kid was once hit in the eye with a golfball while caddying. My kids have also told great stories about caddies hit by their golfer's clubs - like on purpose. So, a few small hazards -but overall, if you are smart enough not to suck and be struck by a frustrated golfer (I mean I am joking about it, but really not cool -and the golfer got suspended from course as he should be), then caddying overall safer than landscaping.