September 13, 2019

checking everything BUT PASSPORT DATES before girl power flight

Ed went to Costco to get me a few things, including
 catsup.  I shared with you in the comments section
 that he went overboard.  Now you can see.
 I was NOT exaggerating.
On July 1st Mini, Curly, and I were finally off to the airport to fly to Vancouver.  Ed drove us to the airport.  While I tend to run incredibly, inexcusably late for most things in life, I favor arrival to the airport on time, or in this case -  crazy ass early.

I was traveling with a passport.  There would be customs.  Shoe and belt removal.  Frozen food sweating in my bags.  Why take any chances?  

I miscalculated though.  I was not aware that traveling to Canada from the States did not even involve being routed thru O’Hare’s international terminal.  Canada is a different country though, right?  Thus ‘international.’  

UPDATE:  I worried I had not left them
 enough food.  These boys can eat.  They ended
up cracking open some packages of make your own
pizza.  Packacge states clearly: 
refrigerate after opening.
The night before the female family members departed at least one of us worried about how the male members would manage for the next three days.  Would they forget to pack items before joining us in Vancouver?  Had I left them enough food?  Would they follow all of my lists of instructions?  Welcome to the innards of my mind.  

Anyway, night before girl-power flight I studied my checklist CLOSELY.  

This pic looks like pita bread.  It is really
remaining pizza bases left in the bag
IN THE PANTRY.  Hello, mold!
‘Coach, do you have the boy passports somewhere so that you won’t forget them?’  Then, my mind took a temporary pause from worrying what the guy-group could screw up and a HORRIFYING thought occurred to me about something I could have totally botched

Kid passports expire sooner than adult passports.  Duh.  Reggie and I got our passports BEFORE the rest of the family.  Mine was a renewal.  Getting his initial passport was a nightmare.  Several trips to the post office.  Once I didn't bring him.  Rookie mistake.  Once I didn't have a letter of consent signed by Coach.  

You see, Reg and I were forced to travel to Montreal for Irish Dancing World Championships.  Lest you are confused about 'forced to travel somewhere' just hold tight, because my tell-all book of Irish dance drama details will follow, at least that is my life mission.  

Anyway, in typical Ernie fashion I opted to cause myself a massive stoke just before bed.  I raced from the study where I had been calling reminders to Coach who was two rooms away (he LOVES when I holler important info from two rooms away) for the thousandth time.  Reminders that he was no doubt tuning out, which is why I covered the island and the fridge in boldface, sharpie notes before I left.  Just in case. 

With my hands in my hair like a mad scientist and inaudible curse words tumbling from my trembling lips and my mouth drying up as all my bodily fluids threatened to exit dramatically in a matter of moments, I ordered Coach to hand me the stack of penis-only-passports.  I flipped open Reg’s.  His passport expires in February.  Folks. February.  2020.  That was close.  Well, I guess it could have been a lot closer, but for me in that panic moment-it felt scary close.  How could I have forgotten until the night before my flight that his passport could have expired sooner than everyone else's?  
While it isn’t totally necessary for me to take on full responsibility of, well, EVERYTHING - I lean that way.  I was handling:  the food prep, the dancing details, the minimalist wardrobe packing, the purchasing of suitable kids’ sneakers, the mail/paper vacation holding, the accommodations reserving, and the like (cause there is more -but how boring).  At least:  Coach planned our tourism stuff - running a few things past me.  My variety of responses included:  nod, shrug, OK, kids won't like that one, and sounds great. 

I hoped that it would be great, because I was EXHAUSTED!


Marie Smith said...

Where would we be without mothers?

Ernie said...

In my case, hungry!

Kari said...

I run like a "mad scientist" a lot. A lot more than I would like to admit. But I am an overreactor by nature so......

Ernie said...

With each passing year (or maybe even day), I become worse and worse about making travel plans. I have a growing history of screwing things up. I recently booked no refund flights for pm vs am. OMG - almost shit my pants!

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Peter was yelling at me on Friday night as I was rushing us around to get to the Wake/UNC game on time. "Geez Mom! Why are you always so stressed and always freaking out all the time? Your freaking out ruins everything."

Well, smart ass, if I was freaking out and worrying about all the details you would never get to anywhere on time, you would be hungry and you would most likely be naked so there!

So glad the passport had not expired!!!

Busy Bee Suz said...

YOU are HOLDING everything together!! I laughed at the 'he loves it when I yell important things to him two rooms away" of my peeves. LOL
A year ago two days before Lindsay was flying to New Zealand, she called me crying hysterically. "MY passport has expired!"
I calmed her down, after I almost wrecked my car cause I thought she'd been kidnapped and told her to look again. She realized the date she was looking at was the 'issue' date and not expiration. *crisis averted*

Ernie said...

I have not been home for something and left VERY SPECIFIC directions for Coach and kids, and come home to discover that they all wandered around with their heads up their asses because they did not follow simple instructions. Never ends.

Ernie said...

In my defense, Coach is ALWAYS in front of his laptop sprawled out on the family room floor. He does not move towards me when I am freaking out. I called home recently and I needed to talk to him. The kids were practicing their Irish tunes RIGHT UP AGAINST HIS FACE apparently. I could not understand him, and I tired of asking him to repeat himself 300 times. Finally I hung up and texted him back. 'Your laptop is mobile. Next time MOVE!'

I am telling you, those pesky travel details might be the death of me one of these days.

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