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March 12, 2019

heavy

Coach left for work this morning and asked that I find a new attitude by the time he returns.  This might be tough.

I have no idea why I feel down in the dumps, grouchy, and just 'heavy' in general, but I have a few suspicions:

I feel like I am doing the same ole, same ole without a break.
     *  I grumbled about facing another sea of dirty diapers this morning.  Comes with the babysitting territory, but holy crap - literally - I am tired of it.  Especially the guy who poops before breakfast.  (And after breakfast, and after lunch, etc.)

     *  Then there is dinner.  What will we eat?  Who will complain about what we eat?  Will the meal I prepare be ready for the first round of eaters - those who bolt out the door to get to dancing or practice?  One thing is for sure, I will be the one preparing whatever it is we are going to ingest.  Yeah, me.
My couch after I have sorted a couple of loads.

I sometimes ask the kids to help sort, but really -
I can do it in lightening speed and while I do make
 mistakes, I have a better handle on who wears what.
  Less stuff goes missing, and let's face it - peace is
 a good thing vs. 'why are you wearing
 my socks/pants/shirt?!'
     *  Will the laundry ever become less overwhelming?  Will our kids ever learn to wear something long enough until it actually needs to be laundered (this does not apply to the kids who are not capable of applying deodorant)?  Will we ever figure out a better system for our dryer vent.  It used to vent out the side of the house, but it must snake longer to reach the side of the house since our addition.  Coach has to drag a ladder to the side of the house and clean out the vent like once a week.  I am washing towels today, so that means he has to empty that damn vent again even though he just did it.  Sometimes it takes 3 cycles to dry shit, which is a waste of money and just mind boggling frustrating.  I constantly go to change the laundry and find stuff that is still wet or damp.  Good times.

The weather.
     *  It is March, yet the temperature on Monday in Chicago was

11 degrees.  What the Hell?!  I can't take it anymore.  Don't get me wrong, loading tots and babies who are all bundled into puffy coats into the many rows of seats in the great white when we leave the house is a relaxing experience and all, but come on spring.  Get here!

I miss my workouts.
     *  I was on a really great schedule.  My stupid health club will no longer allow me to bring the kids I sit for to the health club when I workout.  Trust me, I was never bringing all of the kiddos, only on the occasion that I had only a few kids tagging along.  Anyway, I workout really early in the morning at the club on Tues and Wed.  On the days when I don't workout crazy early, I workout in my house before the tots get dropped off.  I do some cardio and then I do many of the same exercises that we do during classes.  But, then I got sick and I have been allowing myself to sleep in.  AND, while I love my weekend workout time - that has been nonexistent because of the out of town February stuff, and the sick weekend.

Eddie and a few teammates chat about the
 game during a break in the action.
Basketball season is over.
     *  I wonder if deep down I am saddened by the fact that Eddie's basketball season is over.  As crazy as our basketball season was this year, I thoroughly enjoyed having Ed start on his varsity team.  I remember feeling lost and very emotional when we left the high school after Lad's last high school water polo game.  Tears streaming down my face.  He ended up playing water polo in college of course, but I don't expect Ed will go that route.  Ed did have a coach from a tiny school in Chicago (Concordia) come and talk to him after his senior night game.  The guy wanted Ed to play for them.  Ed was flattered, but wants to attend a bigger school.

This is just the tip of the 'heavy' ice burg, as so often is the case with me - there is more . . .






6 comments:

  1. I thought I was alone in feeling like this but then yesterday brought us sun and 50 degree weather. Thank you sweet baby Jesus. It might hit 60 today. And 70 tomorrow. It'll probably be 30 next week but let's live in the moment. HALLE-FRICKIN-LUJAH.

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    Replies
    1. I am thinking of hauling the kids I sit for to the zoo tomorrow - although it is supposed to rain so it might be another indoor place like the Little Red School House as the parking lot is closer proximity to the building.

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  2. Ugh, I am so sorry. I can definitely relate to all the Monotony of Daily Life stuff. The laundry never ends. The meals never end. The house constantly needs cleaning. There is no break. It really does get super heavy. And with all the cold and grey, it feels like we're being so cooped up in the middle of all of it. YUCK. Well. I am hopeful that this is just a valley and that if you keep trudging along, there will be a peak coming up ahead of you. Hang in there. You're not alone.

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    1. Thanks for that - for feeling this. I remember when my kids were really little that some mornings I sat on the edge of Lad's bed and pulled out their clothes for the day and I was like, 'Oh, this again. So stupid. They are just going to spill food on themselves.' Oh, it was so tempting to leave them in pj's all day. Then other days I was up and ready to attack the day head on, but oh the days when it just seems so tedious to do the same ole thing. Ugh! I have been wondering lately if I will babysit again next year. It is EXHAUSTING - not just the physical kid stuff, but the parent communication. One parent texted me yesterday 'You are the best,' and he was being so sincere and genuine because his baby is incredibly fussy and I am able to get him to take full bottles. Made my day.

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  3. I often go through bouts like this. And I usually find it to the case when we are transitioning seasons (which also translates to sports typically) and things we love ending. And for me, now that both my kids are in high school, it just feels like every season change is getting closer to saying goodbye. But I also know that the weather is a huge part of this for me. We have had so much damn rain this fall and winter. It's been sunny for the last two days and I am feeling a bit peppier and less bogged down by all the heavy life stuff. I hope you get some sunshine and warm weather soon and can feel more like your old self.

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  4. Oh could I use some spring. Like, let's get these little snotty nosed kids I sit for out in the fresh air . . . please!!!! All of my high schoolers are trying new sports this season and I do not know what to expect. How long will the meets/games/matches take. I miss water polo. My heart hurts.

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