A few misunderstandings/bits of confusion that have happened recently that I think you'll enjoy . . .
I babysit for 'River'. She's a sweet 3 year old little girl who has a lisp. Combine that with her round face, her ample cheeks, and her expressive way of speaking and she regularly cracks me up. She is a bit shy and on Thursday the twin 3 year old girls who usually come on Thursdays were sick, so it was just River until the two preschool kids arrived off the bus at 11. I chatted with River about her dance class.
Me: RIVER, WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO DANCE CLASS? DO YOU HAVE A LEOTARD?
River: OH, YEAH - WE HAVE AVATAR. WE WATCHED IT ONE TIME.
Guessing leotards are worn in the advance class.
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One day I was wearing a long, flowy, knit cardigan thing. I believe it's intended to wear with yoga type wardrobe pieces. I wear it with leggings. I don't wear it often, because I end up holding it shut/wrapping it around me which is sometimes hard while babysitting. Also, it's often too cold to wear only leggings.
The day I wore it . . .
River: WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Once she also grilled me on what I'd done to my hair. I don't remember if it was extra fuzzy, or flat, but she has things to say and I'm here for it.
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One day River showed up with a large pimple on her cheek. It isn't something you normally see on a 3 year old, but these things happen. I knew it'd be an interesting discussion, so I asked her what happened. Her response did not disappoint.
River: I KNOW. I GOT A SIMPLE. (yep - she called her pimple a simple). MY SISTER TOLD ME THAT IT'S BECAUSE I EAT TOO MUCH JUNK FOOD.
It is my goal to get a snippet of River saying something entertaining on video, while her face is not facing my phone. Fingers crossed.
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I got several of my kids a little mini waffle maker for Christmas. The gift was a big hit. Shortly after Christmas Reg made himself some waffles. As he ate them, I noticed that the cumin was out on the island. Hmm. I think another sib was looking for the cinnamon. Reg pointed at the cumin. Um, NO.
That's when Reg realized. He'd accidentally added cumin to his waffle batter instead of cinnamon. Oops. 
Aren't they cute? And
usually edible too.
Reg: OH, THAT EXPLAINS THE WEIRD TASTE.
He continued to eat his breakfast.
A few weeks prior, Reg accidentally put Greek yogurt on his taco. He grabbed it instead of the sour cream. Hey, we all have our strengths - identifying clearly labeled food items while not blindfolded is not Reg's apparently. Room for growth.
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Another tale of misidentification: I hosted a pasta party for the two varsity basketball teams in early January. Mini was still home from college. The party was a few days before Reg's Jan 9th birthday. The guys were chomping at the bit to inhale the desserts. I'd hoped to light a candle in the Rocky Road Fudge Bars so his teammates could sing. I was juggling a lot of hats, taking pasta out of the oven, clearing a space for the desserts.
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| Totally off-subject, but this is a drinking game table that Mini and her college buddy painted in our basement over Christmas break and then brought back to school. Remember that cup stack game? I think she practiced with this. |
The boys were swarming around the island and I realized I needed to get over to the buffet to get a candle from a drawer. I hadn't gotten it out in advance, because feeding two varsity teams is HECTIC.
I grabbed the candle from the drawer and was shuffling back to the island. I was behind a sea of teenagers who were facing the island. I kept my head down - I think I was trying to see if the candle lighter thing worked. Glancing up, I saw Mini's back. Using my hand, I pushed her on her low back and hollered MOVE. She moved, I made my way around the island, lit the candle, we sang, and I served dessert.
After the boys eat they raced down to the basement. The girls were lingering longer in the dining room chatting. When they came out to the kitchen for dessert, I had a sudden realization.
Me: OH MY GOSH. ELLIE. I'M SO SORRY. I PUSHED YOU EARLIER. I THOUGHT YOU WERE MINI.
You see, I looked up after grabbing the candle and I saw long, blond-ish hair and a tall body wearing a green sweater and I thought it was Mini, but it was NOT Mini. While the girls were eating their desserts, it suddenly clicked. Mini was NOT wearing a green sweater. Ellie WAS wearing a green sweater and she has long blond-ish hair and she's very tall like Mini.
So, I accidentally pushed the a kid that wasn't Mini. Ellie was too polite to correct me.
The entire girls' team heard me admit that I'd pushed Ellie out of my way, thinking it was Mini. We all enjoyed a good chuckle over that oops. Ellie shrugged and laughed and agreed not to press charges.
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Coach and I attended a wedding Saturday for one of his former employees. I have things to share about the wedding, but one momentary mix up belongs here.
Coach's long-time and much-loved office manager, Betty, sat next to me. Betty left his clinic for greener pastures a few years back and is SO missed.
Mar, also a long time, much-loved employee, sat next to Coach.
Mar: ANY OTHER UPDATES WE NEED TO SHARE WITH BETTY?
Coach: JUST THAT ERNIE'S HAVING A BABY.
Mar: (face STRICKEN WITH SHOCK)
A second later, Mar realized- they work with another Ernie. His name is not Ernie, just like my name is not Ernie - but his name is the male version of my real name. If you know, you know. Cackling ensured.
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Why will my asterisks not behave when I try to center align them? Any good 'oops' of late? Mistaken identity? Ingredient mix up? I have some humorous Mini stories to share in the near future. They do not disappoint.
32 comments:
I'm enjoying River and her take on life. She's a cute kid. As for Reg grabbing the wrong food because he didn't pay attention to what the label says, I'm married to a man like that. Z-D seems incapable of reading food labels, but never complains when he picks up the wrong thing. Just eats it like it's no big deal. Go figure
Toddlers are literally the best. I miss having one live in our house.
Those waffle makers are so great for making protein waffles too (something your athletes might like) - just mix an egg with 1/2 cup shredded cheese and it makes two "chaffles". Oh hey, it's gluten free for you too!
I love how little kids make the language their own. In our family we often use the Little Kidisms to replace the real words. It's probably a little pathetic, really, but we're a goofy, sentimental bunch.
Kids really do say the darndest things. I have never seen a mini waffle maker, but now I want one. Ok, I on purpose use plain Greek yogurt instead of sour cream. It tastes the same!
Greek yogurt is a great substitute for sour cream, so he's not far off. 🤣
I have one of those miniature waffle makers in my cupboard! I believe it was given to me as a gift a long time ago. You've inspired me to finally put it to use!
River sounds adorable. ❤️
Cumin instead of cinnamon! Whoops!
Plain Greek yogurt is a really good substitute for sour cream - but maybe yours was flavoured?
A SIMPLE. So cute. I love toddlers.
And the cumin for cinnamon mix up! Oh my goodness! Greek yogurt at least bears a passable resemblance to sour cream, and I've used it on a taco in a pinch. But CUMIN.
Once, my husband and I were making chili and one of us put curry powder in instead of cumin. YIKES. The whole batch tasted inexplicably like hot dogs. It was so disgusting and sad.
Ally - River is SO cute. She's a doll. She told her dad he had to carry her to bed that night because she had a simple. Way to milk it, sister. Reg and Zen-Den are cut from the same cloth apparently. He managed to eat his cumin waffles, a true teenager.
Colleen - Toddlers are so funny. Her little lisp and expressive face combine to steal my heart on the regular.
I will have to share this recipe with Reg. I love that it is something he can do on his own. I wonder what he will do while we are in Ireland next week. When I was in Texas and when I woke up from my endoscopy, he texed me: WHAT'S FOR DINNER? Sheesh - open the fridge, there are meals all ready for you and I've told you. I guess I will be drawing him pictures. Might be a long week for him. ;(
Nance - My girls used to call a bottle of hair gel stuff BROKEN - it was actually in a bottle labeled REDKEN and they misread it once. We called it Broken for as long as we used it. I love it when kids interpret things in a unique way.
I have a cook book called "Will it Waffle?" It's full of recipes that you can make in a waffle iron. I make grilled cheese sandwiches way more than waffles in the waffle iron.
You may be amused to know that while it was immediately obvious from the first time I read your blog that you gave pseudonyms to your husband and children, it took a couple of months for me to realize that your name isn't actually Ernie! I was confused as to why your seemingly very-in-touch-with-their-Irish-roots family named you Ernestine, which does not seem at all Irish!
Bijoux - I highly recommend the mini waffle maker. I got it on Amazon for like $10 or maybe even $7. Score! It seems that I am the last one to know about Greek yogurt being subbed for sour cream, but when I think about it - I think I did probably know that. I ususally buy strawberry Greek yogurt for my protein shakes, but my bet is it was vanilla if he confused it with sour cream.
Kari - I fully endorse you making up a batch of mini waffles soon. I'm gathering that Reg was not wrong to use Greek yogurt. I assume it was vanilla, but I usually only stock strawberry variety. River is really super cute and funny as all get out.
Nicole - Cumin in a breakfast waffle, ick. I'm thinking he learned his lesson, or he's gonna be a trend setter. Not that everyone has mentioned it, I do think I've heard Greek yogurt can be subbed for sour cream. I feel like it was a vanilla flavor - but I do usually buy straberry or something fruity becaue I put it in my protein shakes.
Suzanne - I think any teenager would call a pimple ANYTHING but simple. ;) I so wish I had a recording of her explanation of her skin blemish. It was a riot.
Oh no, a whole pot of chili with curry powder? Gross. I hate when that happens. I messed something up when I lived in Ireland in college - I think I put in several tablespoons of something instead of teaspoons. My roomies were not happy. Ever since I obsessively check what I'm measuring.
Jenny - Will it waffle? - what a cute name for a cook book. I'm tempted to leave Reg home next week when we go to Ireland and have him try to feed himself by using this simple phrase: WILL IT WAFFLE? It would be interesting to see what he comes up with.
I'm dying that you recongnized all the names were fakes but that you thought my name was the real deal. My dad wanted to name me Bernadette when I was born. His fav saint. My mom refused. I laught that my nickname would have been Bernie, but ended up being Ernie, due to my dad's terrible hand writing. Few people call me that anymore, but Coach just said last night WHAT D'YA THINK ERNIE? I'm guessing by now that you've decoded what my actual name is. ;)
The mini waffle maker is the best thing ever. The kids can use it themselves - the big waffle maker we have gets so hot on the outside -it's a hazard. We like doing corn muffin waffles. My gluten free daughter uses shredded hash browns and an egg to make a potato waffle.
I once used cinnamon instead of paprika in beef stew. I tried rinsing off the meat and starting a new gravy, but it was too late. The meat tasted very peculiar.
Cumin smells so strong - he must have had a cold that day.
River sounds like such a cutie! I love cumin but not on waffles. And like many others I regularly use plain Greek yogurt instead of sour cream.
My middle daughter eats sour cream like it is yogurt. She prefers the taste. Yes, just plain sour cream, nothing added for interest or taste. She's weird. We go through a lot of sour cream.
I once made my daughter cinnamon toast with swiss cheese instead of butter. There was a little square of it in the fridge and it looked just like butter. I noticed it didn't spread well at all but did what I could to make it work and she was halfway through eating it before I realized what I'd done. She was slightly traumatized- not because it tasted funny but because she DIDN'T notice the unusual taste and her siblings teased her about that for months afterward.
I have quite a few cute kid mix ups! My 3yr old niece said 'Wake up Sneaky head!' (Sleepy head) She knew it sounded wrong bit couldn't work out was right.
When the girl I au paired was 3 she called agapanthus flowers amberganthers. And no matter how much her sister tried to coach her she just couldn't get it right. At 5 she still calls lizards zilards.
The kids I used to nanny had some words that has passed into the usual family named for things. The two most notable ones were mazagines for magazines and I still struggle to remember which one is correct! The other was grola for granola/cereal. That one was so engrained in the household that once their mum was at a fairly formal business breakfast and requested grola from the waiter. It took a few seconds and many quizzical looks from the waiter and other people alike before she realised her mistake. It was apparently VERY embarrassing in such an important meeting!
We try and write these down to reneged them because it is so funny and nostalgic to remember them. And we think we won't ever forget them but of course we do!
mbmom - I like the hashbrown/egg protip for the miniwaffles. Sounds like something I would enjoy.
Oh, that poor beef stew. Bummer. Not sure if Reg had a cold, or if he was just aloof.
Pat - River is a treat. We play memory card game every day before naps. It started out as a rare treat, but I have an older crowd this year and they LOVE it. Her mom told me yesterday that she begs to play memory at home - like CAN YOU PLAY MEMORY WITH ME WHEN THE SUN COMES UP? No clue how you could say no to her, she's just that cute.
Kara - That is so funny. I cannot believe she likes it plain. I'd be like, can I get you a potato?
ka-lyn - Oops. I feel like that wouldn't be the worst combo, but maybe on regular toast- toss cin. on it and yuck.
Nicola - Those are some darn cute stories. The mom ordering granola in kid-speak is awesome. I honestly don't think I can pronounce the name of that flower, so I think she gets a pass on that one.
I kept a constant running log of the funny things the kids said (the first one that usually springs to mind is Eve saying "I know what twins who aren't hidentical are called - eternal!" very proudly. I don't get the leotard/Avatar thing, though, must be my time change stupid brain.
My friend Suzie has a girl the same age as Angus so they would often be at the same stage of development. For a while this stage unfortunately led to them both going 'huh? huh?' instead of saying what or pardon, and it sounded, for lack of a better word, really dumb. Once Angus did it and Suzie said 'well THAT sounded intelligent' and then realized she was insulting my kid and not hers - she wasn't wrong though.
Ali - I used to love it when they would air a show about kids saying funny things. Always entertaining. Eternal - classic. Leotard and avatar - I think you are over-thinking it, she just thought I said Avatar because it sounded remotely like leotard.
Only a good friend could point out your kid's lack of clarity and be successful in not ticking you off. So funny.
That mini waffle maker is so cute! I should get one for Beth, I think she'd love it.
Beth - Cure AND affordable. Apparently versatile also. I didn't realize how many non-waffle option were possible with it.
These are all hilarious, but I'm voting for River to have her own blog! What three year old knows what 'junk food' is?? She's a hoot.
Laughing so hard at you pushing other people's kids...this is a classic!
The waffle makers are so cute and I can only imagine the taste of cumin when you wanted cinnamon!
Suz - I agree whole-heartily, River needs her own blog. Really a vlog would be best, so you could get the whole expressive round face/lisp package. She is a hoot.
Mini's b-ball team was a group that really appreciated a laugh. At the pasta party, a few of the older girls pulled Mini aside to say WE MISS THE LAUGHS, THIS NEW VARSITY/YOUNGER CROWD IS WAY TOO SERIOUS. Bah ha ha. So, they were howling laughing when I stood there and admitted my pushy-ness.
I think if there was cumin in my waffle, I'd be off waffled in general for a while.
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