December 23, 2020

Who says size doesn't matter? A mostly photo post, with my new fav pic at the end

 I'm tired, so I'll be brief. (to quote Monty Python:  "And they all rejoiced.")

The dryer arrived today around 10 am. Perfect. I could spend the rest of the day getting caught up on laundry. 

*If I hear one more time that someone needs a pair of socks when there are 83 lone socks in a basket in my room that cannot be matched (none of which belongs to Coach or I), I will lose it. Clearly our otherwise super responsible and delightful children have a problem tracking socks. Now when push comes to shove I want them to all be forced to go find the matches in whatever ridiculous nooks and crannies where they shove them. Rant over.*

What came first the
 dryer or the door?
The issue:  the delivery men couldn't get the broken dryer through the laundry room door. As in, it appears our house was built AROUND our dryer. In fact, the contractor who moved the laundry room to the upstairs about 9 years ago most likely installed the appliances AND THEN built the doorway.

Am I the only one who fails miserably at finding smart contractors? 

A dreamy day off for Coach
with doorway reconstruction

Long story short:  we got the back off the old dryer, removed part of the door frame, banged the snot out of the protruding dryer parts . . . all while the delivery men stood and stared at us. Fairly certain we qualify as their worst delivery ever. I want a trophy. Even after we mangled it, the dryer was too big to squeeze through the door - but just barely.

The delivery guys suggested they bring the new one back to the store and I pick out a smaller dryer. I think I made all of you proud by REFUSING that option. 

Coach: The old dryer was 7.5 cu feet and this one was 9.5, so hey why not just stick with 7.5?

Me:  Well, the 7.5 cu feet is not fitting through the door either, so the only one that might fit would be like ITTY BITTY, apartment size. I can't make that work.

The delivery guys begged us to stop holding them hostage. We asked them to bring the new one upstairs. After they left, Coach removed the rest of the wooden door frame and the old one slid out and landed in my bedroom near the new one. It left my bedroom in a state . . . 

Sweet, my room the appliance graveyard, along with misplaced pack and plays, and baskets of dirty laundry.

View from my room, now crowded with two dryers,
to the laundry room down the hall.

Summary:  Coach removed the door frame, shaved off the drywall a bit, and the new dryer was SO CLOSE. He and Reg tried . . .  

Coach then removed the drywall on one side of the doorframe and then he yanked off the first round of 2 x 4s that frame the door.

I didn't know that what I really wanted for Christmas was a wider entrance to the laundry room. I know, you're all jealous.
He positioned the new dryer, hooked it up, and needed to go to the hardware store. Well, 2 stores to find one part - and that part didn't work. Then he went back to one of the stores and bought all the available sizes of the part. (Note: the directions claimed a specific size would work - but they were wrong, so that was fun).

The dryer is working - but Coach spent approximately 9 am till 9 pm dealing with this nonsense. 

A beautiful thing. Gray dryer on the right LEFT: "Hey, I'm new here."
The dryer is flashing a warning: vent is blocked. But it isn't. And Coach just mentioned that the directions call for the dryer to be connected to a cold water spout. Huh? We are hoping that the dryer will still function - maybe just not some of the fancy cycles? So smooth as silk.

Remember when I posted how everything seemed to take longer than necessary? Understatement. 
And this is the bonus pic . . . I was baking and the kids kept saying "someone texted you" - it was a text from Tank with this photo. Confession:  before being diagnosed with celiac I had some wicked bad gas. The kids still act as if this is an ongoing issue. It isn't, I swear . . . feel free to invite me to your place, in say Georgia. (wink, wink)
This photo had me doubled over. I didn't even notice Tank putting the dryer's sticker on my back.
Merry Christmas, my friends. Enjoy celebrating whatever it is you celebrate. I hope you are able to be surrounded by some of your people and relax and create wonderful memories. (I'll probably still be catching up on laundry).


Suz said...

Excuse me, but isn't the new dryer on the LEFT? ;)
Goodness. I love you so have the most insane home life and yet you continue to make me laugh on the daily. Feel free to bring all that silliness to GA!!
Poor Coach, what a damn day for him. And your room, it looks SO romantic. Isn't the master bedroom supposed to be cozy, warm and relaxing? Oh, wait, the dryer's WILL keep it warm.

GAS warning? I love your kids!!

Ernie said...

Suz -OMG -IT IS ON THE LEFT, WHAT IS EVEN WRONG WITH ME? I am going back to fix it now. I was crazy tired when I wrote this, but yowza. Good think I've admitted to my refusal to conform to the left/right so you aren't embarrassed for me.

Seriously, what are the chances? Can nothing be simple? Ever?

Coach later was like, "Shoot, I haven't finished eliminating my stuff around my recliner. Not sure when I'll have time to do that before Saturday (which is when we host his brother and sister). Maybe on Christmas." How can I be mad about his piles of crap everywhere after the door-widening adventure? Maybe his filing system gift will come in handy. Wink, wink.

This morning I went to the grocery store and realized I HAD NO CREDIT CARD, so I'm freaking out. My laptop decided to update (or it's broken) so I raced in with $400 of groceries and couldn't connect to the TV to do my FB live workout. I called Ed at work, and made him give me his password for his laptop. And he gave me attitude. Really?

Just another day.

Their messes aside, you'd probably love my kids. Thick skin is a requirement to spend time with them. You've been warned. ;) And really, the new worst smelling gas award goes to Reg, but he takes pride in it.

Kara said...

I am living on borrowed time with both my washer and dryer. Both are electric and 15 or so years old. We've had to replace the capacitor and some other part in the washing machine this summer, when it decided to stop spinning. Now, the front panel won't go back on, but it spins again, so that's good enough for me. I know the unending laundry of three kids, I can't imagine the amount that six create. Perhaps you will be out from under that mountain of laundry by spring?

Beth Cotell said...

UGH!!!!!! Nothing is ever easy. On the plus side, your life makes for excellent blog fodder!

Cheryl said...

OMG! And I thought my life was crazy at times! You are giving both Lucy (as in Lucille Ball) and Roseanne (we all know who she is!) a run for their money! LOL! (I can actually see you working on a candy line like Lucy and Ethel!)

The dryer/widening doorway story is funny as hell...probably not to your husband! But at least you guys have help in the form of children and you are both young as well. Husband and I forced an oversized love seat (clawed to bits by cats!) up the stairs from the lower family room, out the front door and out to the curb for garbage day last week. Not a pretty sight since we are senior But we got it done!

The gas story is hysterical! What a sense of humor your kids have! lol!

Merry Christmas to you and yours and again, thank you so much for letting us all see a slice of your life! You rock!

Eli said...

I can't imagine the horrified surprise of finding out mid delivery that the doorway was constructed after the appliance was installed.

About a year ago, I noticed we were missing a lot of socks, and then one day I saw a sock disappear between the drum of our washer and the top... Like, it just slipped right on over the edge at the inside corner. I asked my husband to figure out a way to open the base, and sure enough, there were something like 15 socks hiding down there. He opened it up a couple of days ago, since I've noticed more missing socks, and found another 7 or 8 and a couple of missing cloth face masks.

Ernie said...

Kara - The uncertainty of when an appliance might decide to quit is never easy. Deciding to keep fixing one is always a crap shoot. Happy to say, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel here but the lint trap light is still troublesome.

Charlie said...

Of course it didn’t fit! What would we all do if your appliances were just replaced with no drama. We would definitely be missing the laughs!! Merry Christmas Ernie. Thanks for a year of entertaining posts and genuine connections with your readers. I’ve so appreciated you sharing your family stories with us and I love that each time the comments feel a bit like a sequel x

Ernie said...

Beth - I have paused to wonder, would like be less chaotic if I didn't have a blog to share all the nutty details? Ha.

Ernie said...

Cheryl - thanks for the kind words. Always happy to share my gas stories and other debacles with people who appreciate it. I love Lucy and I openly admit I have a Roseann streak in me.

There's nothing like moving furniture to make one feel his/her age. Reg said his hands felt like they were bleeding when he tried to help Coach with the dryer, but when I stepped in and grabbed from his side to give him a break - I felt nothing sharp or threatening. I'm hoping I don't lose sleep over my fear that we are raising a 'soft' child. Dear God, son - pick up the dryer like a man!

Merry Christmas to you and yours too, and thanks ever so much for finding my antics interesting.

Ernie said...

Eli - We were dumbfounded. The delivery guys were like, SO THESE APPLICANCES WERE HERE WHEN YOU MOVED IN? And we were like, 'NO!' It took a few minutes for us to figure out how we could've landed in this mess.

How wonderful that you discovered the sock portal. Now that we dismembered our old dryer in order to get it out the door, I do not believe that was our situation. Besides, it is a well known fact that my kids are pigs so the fact that they leave socks in weird places is a fact of life at this point.

Ernie said...

Charlie - Your comment snuck in here as I was just responding to everyone - thanks for reading my appliance drama. It seemed way too easy from the start - the outlet store had a decent dryer marked around $1,000 that usually retails for $1,700. They could deliver a few days later. No problem, right? Proof that it is literally ALWAYS SOMETHING.

Always glad to hear from you, Charlie. Thanks for the compliment, so appreciated.

I think I might lose my mind (or my local friends might) if I didn't have blog friends to vent to. Otherwise what excuse would I have to be taking photos of inopportune times when all hell is breaking lose. My kids always roll their eyes and holler: BLOG!

All the best this Christmas! I have a ton of stuff to share that I didn't squeeze into this space in 2020 since laundry and meals and babysitting sometimes gets in the way . . . so more to come . . . you've been warned. ;)

Kari said...

I am just catching up on my blog reading and this made me laugh.
I have to say though, I am quite envious of a laundry room on the second floor. I know men designed homes because they put the laundry rooms on the first floor. One home I toured years ago had them in the basement. WTH?

I am so glad you and your gas got a new dryer. ;) Merry Christmas, my dear friend.

Ernie said...

Kari - You are probably right about men designing houses with laundry on the first floor or basement. True story - I grew up with laundry in the basement and a laundry shoot from the 2nd floor down to the basement. We had lots of fun with that growing up. Our 1st house: laundry in basement and a laundry shoot from the 2nd floor. Loved it. I didn't want to consider moving to a house with laundry on the 1st floor. I wanted basement.

The mudroom on this house was really a laundry room with no space for one shoe let along a single hook for a coat. Outerwear and shoes were stored in the garage. In Chicago winters, that sucked. We moved the laundry room to the 2nd floor, and how glorious . . . until we discovered that they built the door AFTER the appliances were set up. Morons.

Hoping me and my gas and my dryer will have years of happiness. In times of laundry frustration I can look at the photo of me with my descriptive label and still laugh.

Merry Christmas back at you! Enjoy your day. XO

ccr in MA said...

I can't believe they built the door frame after putting the appliances in! I mean, think ahead much? At all? I'm glad you were able to make it work, but what a lot of work that was. Merry laundry Christmas!

Ernie said...

Ccr- Exactly. Proof that a good contractor is hard to find. Sigh. The laundry is caught up, but do you think a binge-watching teen might bother sorting a basket? Don't get me started.

Thanks for keeping up with the nonsense. Merry Christmas.