START FROM THE MIDDLE
I'm walking . . . when I can -
CBWC Coach
and I walked for
30 min Sunday . . .
after I napped for
2 hrs. Um, someone
tailgated (not hosting)
and attended the ND
vs USC game with Lad,
Reg, and Tank and of
course Mini. Super fun
day, but I was wiped. Night
games in the rain are
not for the weak.
I'm trying to find a good starting point (I've not wrapped up the project yet, but the 'where should I start?' thing is bugging me) for my Coming of Age (maybe?) book. I wanna give a glimpse of my early days through stories: showing not telling, yadda yadda.
Currently my story starts with how my folks couldn't agree on a name for me. Dad wanted Bernadette and Mom won, insisting on my current name. They tried to leave the hospital without signing the papers. (My mom is VERY stubborn). In other words, my nickname was almost Bernie, instead of Ernie.
I'm leaning towards choosing my 8th grade dance as the starting point. Parents attended (not just chaperone, but they were all there), which - WHAT? I was NOT a cool kid. Remember how I recently shared how my mom ripped off the alligator from my sisters' shirts when gifted by my aunt? I attended a Catholic school in an affluent area. We weren't affluent people, so the preppies, as we called them, had no time for me.
To top if off, I had a hairdo at the hands of Edward Scissorhands Mom. Her haircuts helped us keep to the budget. As a result, I looked just like my brothers.
Once at a boys' 8th grade basketball game, a junior high boy from the competitor's school asked me, "Um, what gender are you?" (that kid would be cancelled today, right?) His friends were all standing behind him laughing. I know he knew I was a girl, but he was poking fun of me and his friends were in on it.
What did I do? I punched his shoulder - HARD, as one does when trying to appear . . . ladylike? Whatever. I'm pretty sure I added fuel to his fire.
This clip and the below one is me listening to my chapter on my speechify app while waiting at B-ball for the little girls. Listening helps me hear parts that suck, etc. But this app saw things on the page that weren't there and it's fairly entertaining. Clips are both under 10 seconds.
Do you (and by 'you' I mean - you decide) wanna dance? This is hilarious bit that I might use as the launching pad for my Coming of Age story . . . I spotted one of the 8th grade teachers at the dance beckon one of the naughty boys. After he made his way over, she whispered to him. He had no idea what it meant to be discreet, so he rotated and stared directly at myself and my wallflower friends who were stranding on the sidelines. He nodded to the teacher in a 'I will but only because you're asking and I'm assuming I won't get an F in English after this stunt' way, and then he sauntered over.
He stood two feet away, and said "Uh, do you wanna dance?"
To who exactly was he directing this question? No clue. He looked between myself and my friend (she and I were standing in the center of our four friends in a line on the sidelines, right where we belonged).
I did a double take to see if there was a cute, short girl (to me all the short girls were cute. I towered over everybody and felt clumsy and out of place and so wished I was short) standing behind us. Nope.
The boy's face spoke volumes: I don't care who I dance with, but I've been ordered so one of you pick. I think I deferred to my friend. He, like all the boys, was too short for me anyway.
ERNIE, WHERE'S MY SCISSORS?
Another funny memory that I just shared with Delilah that made her bust out laughing: We were a one scissors family. Like, I was ALWAYS in trouble, because Mom's scissors would go missing from the kitchen. 99.9% of the time, they were in my room. I made things out of paper and cardboard boxes, like little homes for stuffed animals, or little organizational systems for my closet. People, I was crafting long before there was HGTV.
My question is: Why, for the love of everything, could we not have purchased a second pair of scissors? We weren't preppy, but we weren't destitute. There was a Kmart nearby.
Do you look back and wonder why your family didn't have more of something that now seems so simple? (Another example: my two sisters and I shared one slip and we were required to wear a slip whenever we wore a dress or a skirt. We didn't have any purchasing power, so what the what?) Did parents attend your dances in junior high?
Parents attended dances- like spectators? That would have made an already awkward situation worse. Oh, I would have died. I was definitely a wallflower with a boy haircut. Solidarity!
ReplyDeleteI think my sister's and I shared slips- or just borrowed mom's at first before getting one once we needed it on a regular basis. That's the price of having sisters close in age and size.
mbmom11 - There was a dance competition - think dancing with the stars, but teenagers who choreographed a dance. I wasn't one of the kids willing to compete. Not on your life. But, yes - parents were there as if this was a social outing for all of us. Solidarity indeed!
DeleteI remember we had to borrow my mom's slip at times, and then she'd be upset when she couldn't find hers. It's a puzzle to me Why not just go get another slip, or three?
OMG! I can't believe it!
ReplyDeleteI feel you on the scissors thing SO MUCH. We were the same. I wrote an entire post on it here. Thanks to my childhood, I now have scissors in every single room of my home. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I buy scissors like it's my job.
Nance - I just went and read your post about how you were deprived a stash of scissors. I've never seen that post and I'm in awe of the similarities to my childhood home. Bah ha ha. We have several pairs of scissors in our current house. The child that takes my kitchen sheers and doesn't tell me . . . they're taking their life in their hands.
DeleteI never went to a junior high dance, so I missed out on that form of torture! We were also a one scissors family and they were kept in a pencil holder in the kitchen. So weird to think back on. However, for all the years growing up, we only seemed to ever have one roll of Scotch tape and it was forever missing. So, I guess I was a weirdo mom, too.
ReplyDeleteI love that you were a crafty kid! I don't think I was very talented, but I liked doing crafts, too. I remember making a few Barbie dresses and things like pillows and blankets for them. Definitely beds out of cardboard necklace boxes!
Bijoux - You did miss out on that form of torture. We also had roller skating field trips - equal torture, although parents weren't there. Your scissors was kept in a pencil case in your kitchen? So funny. My tape went missing all the time when the kids were young. I started buying extra rolls and hiding them in my antique desk that no one really ever used.
DeleteWe weren't allowed to have Barbies, but I did make a fake cabbage patch kid out of panty hose - called soft sculpture. I gave it to my best friend's little sister for her birthday. I also sewed the doll I made clothes. My love of crafts skipped a generation, because my mom - not crafty. Her mom? Major crafty.
Ha! Ha! Speechify is interesting once in a while!
ReplyDeleteOMG, you should have had your very own pair of scissors! I love that you made little houses for your stuffed animals!
I can't think of anything like that. My dad likes to have multiples of everything, and then some backups in storage. He once gave me a huge Costco pack of scissors for Christmas. I have scissors in every room!
Michelle - It does get interesting, but only when I scan something. The downloads are normal mostly.
DeleteIt makes perfect sense that you would've loved my houses for my stuffed animals. I Costco bag of scissors - the gift that keeps on giving.
My parents never attended anything. Ever.
ReplyDeleteBernadette? Well, that's a name you don't hear often. We could call you Bernie! Lord, that would have only made the badly given haircut even worse for you. I hate that you have so many bad memories from school....but here I am, right in the same boat, but for different reasons.
(Although I started 8th grade, which was High School, with such a terrible Boy Haircut, given to me by my G'ma's neighbor, and I was 4 ft 10, 80lbs with no cute clothes and very few friends. Ughh...glad I don't have to do that ever again!)
I'm laughing at the Speechify. I mean, did she just nonchalantly slide in some Japanese words?
The scissors thing is funny. And weird. Maybe people just lived so simply? I don't recall having more than one pair, but who knows. I do have a thing for scissors, tape, box cutters, etc....and have them in all sorts of drawers all over the hosue. I really should do a post on my scissor collection; it's to be admired.
~Suz
Suz - Oh my heart - never attended anything? I will say that my mom imitated my boxing out technique when i was on the freshman b-ball team and that meant my brothers had to come and see for themselves. There were lots of laughs coming from my family section in the stands, and you know what - I would've preferred they not come.
DeleteBernadette- I think it's more common in Irish circles. Go figure.
I'm so glad I don't have to go back to junior high days. I admit, I lucked out because I literally treasured my high school. It was the very best. All girls. I sort of came out of my shell there. I made some wise ass remarks to friends in the back of Sister Jane's algebra class freshman year. No boys - no intimidation. Sister Jane caught everyone laughing (Sister was probably like 28 yrs old). She told me to share my jokes with the class. I thought she was goading me - giving me enough rope to hang myself. No, she was serious. She wanted me to share my jokes, so I did and I couldn't believe it but people laughed, and so did Sister Jane.
It sounds like satanic worship or something - that speechify app, I love it, but this scanned doc really was entertaining.
Yes, I think life was more simple then. People didn't have Amazon or Target, so they didn't buy extra of everything. I'm loving that your scissors collection is to be admired. Bah ha ha.
Two more days till you're a grandma. I can't WAIT!
lol those clips! also one scissors! this is me in the kitchen and i am buying another pair on my app as we speak
ReplyDeleteSarah- The girls got a chuckle listening to those clips when they came out of basketball. It is mind blowing that we just had very few things back in the day. Slips too. Oh, here's one - my two sisters and I shared one deodorant. ONE. It was left in the bathroom on the back of the toilet.
DeleteWhenever I think of scissors, I think of Ella's preschool teachers giving her a graduation gift-a little bag with crayons, a pair of scissors, and other little things for kindergarten. Ella took the scissors and gave herself a haircut🤣
ReplyDeleteKari - The gift that keeps on giving. Haircut by way of teacher's gifted scissors. Bah ha ha.
DeleteI was also part of a one scissor family! When I got my own place, I made sure we had more than one pair. There are at least three in my kitchen, not counting craft scissors in the craft area. I have a set of scissors in my room, and a set of hair cutting scissors as well. My lefty child has her own scissors as well, because she's a lefty. My husband has at least one pair of scissors in his office too.
ReplyDeleteKara - Look at you. It must've been a sign of the times. Simpler days for sure. I'm glad you are supplying your people with multiple scissors these days.
DeleteWe had a pair of scissors with orange handles in the kitchen and I can still hear my mom shouting "WHERE ARE THE ORANGE-HANDLED SCISSORS?!?!?!?" I know we had a few different pairs but those were her preferred scissors and the ones most likely to go missing. The original orange-handled scissors are no longer with us but whenever I open the junk drawer at my parents' house, there is a trusty (different) pair of orange-handled scissors waiting to be used!
ReplyDeleteKids can be so mean. I was homeschooled and had absolutely zero fashion sense. I remember wearing a plaid purple skirt to an orchestra rehearsal once and a boy asked me why I was wearing a horse blanket.
The one slip thing is CRAZYPANTS!!
well dang - I guess I didn't hit reply so my reply looks like a new comment - Kate . . . see below.
DeleteKate - Maybe it's the power of suggestion, but I'm envisioning our scissors with an orange handle too. See, when you only have the one pair, it is simpler to just holler: WHO HAS THE SCISSORS? No need for the handle description.
ReplyDeleteThe horse blanket story is a hoot. I told my mom tonight that I want to home school Kay when she goes to high school. This girl cannot make a good decision if her life depends on it, and she has certainly not met an impulse that she hasn't acted on. Exhausting. The punchline though is that I want her to be home schooled in high school, but at someone else's house. All girls, preferably. Like is that a thing- 6-8 girls all learning together at someone's house. I'll teach them to sew if that is a needed lesson at some point. Fingers crossed. (only half kidding)
Kids can be so mean and they sure were back then, but it seemed like no one cared - not parents, like we just suffered through. The horse blanket story cracked me up. One slip in a home with four females was nonsensical.
Parents attending dances? That seems really odd and that it would make it a lot less fun. We had one pair of scissors growing up, kept in a kitchen drawer. And when my kids were young, I recall having one pair and getting so tired of looking for the scissors that I tied them to the handle of the door with a shoelace. It worked; I could always find them. I’m actually amazed that my kids never cut the shoelace with the scissors! One slip between three girls? At least my sisters and I all had our own slips. Funny - slips are a thing of the past aren’t they?
ReplyDeleteMy parents never chaperoned a dance or a field trip. My mom was a homeroom mother when I was in 2nd grade. She had to help with the class parties (Halloween, Valentines, etc.) and I remember a classmate commenting that my mom was fat. Um, no...she was 7 months pregnant with my sister!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who took Bernadette as her confirmation name because she thought her given name (first, middle, and last add up to 13 letters) was too short!
My mom did not cut my hair, but she decided on my hair style so I had a pixie cut for most of my childhood and I HATED IT. I will never have short hair again. That is not a knock against the style - it looks great on many others. I did not like how it looked on me and I was mistaken for a boy SO MANY TIMES. It was not good for my self esteem...
ReplyDeleteWe did have multiple scissors but I'm sure there were other things we did not have enough of. I do think about how we only had 2 bathrooms for our family of 7. Now our family of 4 has... 4. Phil will tell you it's too many, but 1 is a main floor powder room and 1 is a guest room ensuite so it only gets used when we have guests or when I work in my office that is in the guest room. But I love that the kids have a bathroom w/ a shower and we do as well. Although they currently shower in our bathroom because they still require assistance and our bathroom has a better set up (it's a shower only - not a combo bath/shower) for a parent to stand there and assist with hair washing/body washing. I am hoping Paul is getting close to taking care of this himself. Because last night he "forgot to go to the bathroom" even though I reminded him several times so he peed in our shower. Gee, thanks kid.
Lisa - I have the exact same feelings about short hair. I can't go there, because it was forced on me - for SO many years. It was not good for my self esteem either.
DeleteI grew up in a family of 5 and we had 2.5 bathrooms most of the time. Two bathrooms would've been tough for sure. Our kids always used our bathroom when we first moved in, because I could get 5 or 6 (but usually Lad did his own thing) into the huge tub in our master bath. Then the big boys used our shower, because the one in their bathroom didn't have a door and the shower curtain was tough to maintain - like they'd leave it outside of the tub and then water would be all over the floor. Anyway, one day Tank held the shower door shut and the doors were frosted or 'wavy' so Ed couldn't see why the door was shut - he was in the shower yanking on it to get out (after Tank had left the shower) and when Tank finally decided the joke was over (he was in 2nd or 3rd grade) Ed through the door open and it shattered EVERYWHERE. The boys were both naked and covered in a dusting of glass. Long story short, there were no major injuries which was incredible considering how much glass their was. There was a little blood from a few minor cuts and mixed with water - well, it looked like a crime scene.
Peeing in the shower. I remember those days.
BERNADETTE? I'm glad your mom won that battle. And- I'm pretty sure we only had one scissors in our house growing up. Which is why our current house only had one scissors for a long time- until I realized, scissors are CHEAP. We can have multiple scissors! What a luxury!
ReplyDeleteJenny - Yep, that remains my dad's favorite saint and therefore his favorite name. I've not always loved my in real life name - esp in grade school when I got Valentines addressed to me spelled in the boy version of my name. But, I've grown to love my name. Most of the time.
DeleteExactly - scissors are cheap. Why not have a few extra, if not A DOZEN, pairs in the house?