| Dad eating in his recliner. For a guy with no appetite, he managed to eat leftovers from my pasta party - followed by a piece of bread and a piece of Costco sheet cake. |
Chow time: My folks have a caregiver who comes twice week, but she's there 11 -3:00, I think. We suspect Nana (my mom) might be snacking a lot, and then skipping dinner - maybe she thinks she's eaten - ? I run over there with meals a few times a week, but not during meal time.
New plan: After tots/babies leave whenever possible, I go over there and heat up a few plates around 4ish. Then I race off to watch one of the three girls play volleyball. The girls attend three different schools, because otherwise life would be boring.
Once last week, I handed my dad his plate while he was in his recliner.
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| Nana eating with her view of the golf course. |
Aside/bad news: He's been taking a chemo pill as a follow up to the colon cancer surgery, but he's having side effect diarrhea and loss of appetite. He's decided not to take it anymore.
I've decided to live in la-la land and hope that the colon cancer stays away. I'll keep you posted on how that pans out.
*****
Anyway, Nana saw a little girl on the golf course, so she hopped up from the table, raced over to her purse (to get cash), unbolted the slider, and was out the back door. I followed her. A guy was about to hit off the tee right behind their house.
| Big tipper meets tiny golfer. |
Guy: No prob. I'm not in a hurry. You're fine.
(the little girl and the men she was playing with were moving to the next hole on the back 9 or whatever - they were beyond the hole right behind my folks' house. I tried to persuade Nana to give up on her chase. No siree.
Nana (to the guy who paused his game so she could march by on the cart path): Hi, how're you hitting 'em today?
Guy: Pretty good. Such a nice night. Hey, someone in one of these houses used to come out and give me cookies.
Me: Yeah, that was her (pointing at Nana). (Nana pumped her fist in the air like she won something).
Nana and I arrived at the hole where the little girl was with three guys - older brothers or a really young uncle?
Nana: Hi. What grade are you in? (3rd) Oh, I taught 4th grade. I saw you golfing and I think you're doing a great job. I want to give you this. (presents her with $10). You won't lose it now?
Girl: Wow, thanks. No, I won't lose it.
Nana stopped at the golf cart and chatted with each of the guys. They looked confused, but they were very nice and they thanked her.
Coach says he's gonna start sending little kids over to play golf behind their house. Then he's gonna ask them to split the profits they make off of Nana.
Did you read my recent post about me remembering as many kids as possible from my 1985 8th grade class and uppity girls in my grade school back in the early 80's?
I have to share this Nana story. (I mentioned it in the comments, but in case you didn't hop back and read my replies). My wealthy aunt in Texas sent each of my two sisters an Izod shirt for their birthdays (their b-days were a few days apart, of course they were) when I was in like 6th grade. We went bananas. "AN ALLIGATOR SHIRT?!" Mom asked Ann to fetch her ripper from her sewing basket. Then she ripped the alligator emblem off each of the brand new shirts.
Nana said something to the turn of: If they won't be your friend without an alligator shirt, then you don't want them to be your friend just because you have an alligator shirt.
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Wise words or do you think that was harsh? I was at the age when I thought everything my parents said was Correct, and I don't think any of us ever questioned her response to the Izod shirts. Anyone want Nana's address so you can hang out in the yard and hope for a tip?
As cute as the story is, is that safe for your mom to be handing money out like that? I guess if people are playing golf, they have $$ and probably wouldn't take advantage of her. But that would concern me. Personal safety and being secure in the house.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, your dad probably has the right idea. Quality of life is important, and colon cancer is a slow growing one usually. He'll feel better and be able to eat and be active. If there are problems in the future, he could always restart the pill.
And I understand about 3 kids in 3 schools - the driving dilemma and who watches what game are so real . Hang in there!
mbmom11 - My dad now limits how much cash she has. He gets her smaller bills from the bank. I'm not at all concerned of people taking advantage of her. She rarely leaves the house. The neighbors all know her and most are home during the day. Plus my dad is home with her.
DeleteI agree. I think the chemo pill was a precaution and we hope and pray that the cancer doesn't come back. It's good to know that it's a slow growing cancer. The three school thing is tough - Rae's ride to high school has cancelled three times already in the first 6 weeks of school and he only drives her mon-thurs. Apparently he gets sick a lot?
Yikes. I think that was very harsh! My parents didn't have much money when I was growing up but we had a wealthy aunt and uncle and their Christmas gifts were THE HIGHLIGHT of my holiday. I remember the year they sent me a very in-fashion Gap sweatshirt. I loved that thing so much! It's unfortunate how popularity works in childhood but, also, it IS part of childhood. While I don't agree with it, I can't imagine how excited your sisters were about those shirts so it does make me a little sad they had that literally ripped away. I would have been devastated if my mom had done something like that to my Gap sweater :(
ReplyDeleteElisabeth - I agree. I think she went too far in trying to prove her point. I wonder if it irked her that my aunt managed to afford the things that we couldn't. *shrug* I don't know how my sisters felt about it - I am confident there were no tears or arguments over it. The shirts were still worn. I loved the thin striped red and white one. The other one had multi-colored strips of varying thickness and I didn't care for it. I liked symmetry I guess.
DeleteSigh. I just want to say that in 1985 I had already been teaching for four years. FOUR. Interesting side note: I started at the age of 21, and many of my students were only four years younger than me.
ReplyDeleteI'm chuckling at your mom, The Big Tipper. My mom is the same way in her old age. She loves to give out her money, and my brother teases her and says she thinks she's a Kardashian. She pays $8.95 for a cut and set, but gives Susie a 20 and tells her to keep the change. She sends all of her kids, grandkids, and greatgrands $25 for birthdays--her grands are all over 30 and she has a ton greats.
As far as the de-Izod-ing, I appreciate the lesson. Could it have been done by talking? Yes. But it sounds like your mom is a very decisive Woman Of Action. How did you feel about it at the time? Was the lesson lost in the action?
Nance - Already teaching for 4 years in 1985 - wow. I can't believe how young you were and how close in age you were to your students.
DeleteI love the Kardashian nickname - so funny. Yeah, my mom was always really good at tipping delivery guys or repairmen. She's def not forgotten to tip nowadays, but she takes it to the next level.
I do think it could've been managed through conversation. I don't feel like we needed the lesson to be so punishing to us. It wasn't my shirt and I really don't think my sisters were upset by it, but they were so meek and mild - who knows. I was very impressionable and I was very much in camp Mom. At that age I thought everything she did was legit and noteworthy, so I think I nodded along with the lesson, like Yeah! So right!
Ok, her tracking down the little girl to give her money is too cute. I mean, it could have been disruptive to the golfers, so I'm glad they were all polite.
ReplyDeleteWas it harsh to rip off the alligators from the shirts? yes. I get the sentiment, but the message could have been made without adjusting perfectly good shirts.
Praying that your dad remains healthy. You are the best, making sure everyone gets fed!
I thought that Rae and Kay were at the same school? No?
Suz - It was a cute moment. My mom has always been about special touches. She used to bake cookies for the boys on my brothers' baseball teams who hit a homerun or pitched a no hitter. The golf course behind them is public and the golfers we encountered were incredibly relaxed - I guess you'd have to be if you took your 9 year old (kid sister? niece) out to golf and allowed her to be barefoot on the golf course.
DeleteI agree - I stood behind Mom's decision when I was a kid. At that age I had yet to stray from mom's opinion /didn't think for myself yet, but dang - just have a conversation about it at the dinner table.
Thank you for the prayers. I am praying the same thing. Life is better and easier for Mom if Dad is living. He's a trooper. I think the chemo pill was a precaution because the pet scan showed no cancer remaining after surgery, but it is scary. I hope it stays the hell away. The guy needs a break. He's so sharp and aware and happy - a departure from his younger self. I'd like him to stick around for a while longer.
Rae graduated 8th grade in May, so she's at a similar high school. It's crazy small but not exactly in our immediate area. Getting her there is tough, and paying the tuition sucks. Kay would like to go there next year too. She needs to be able to caddy and earn half of her tuition money, because this old cat ain't babysitting till I'm 80.
It's funny looking back on those Izod shirts! They were all the rage! I never had one, but I also don't think I ever cared about it. But still...ripping off the little alligator seems harsh! It's so odd how things still go through popularity phases and get so overpriced. Stanley cups! Beanie Babies! Cabbage Patch dolls! It's still going on!
ReplyDeleteMichelle - They were all the rage - with collars flipped up. Who started that weird look? I'm glad you never cared about it. I don't think I cared about wearing an alligator, but I would've appreciated wearing something that wasn't a hand me down or didn't look silly on me. I was so much taller than my sisters.
DeleteYou've created a great list of the overpriced fads. OMG - Cabbage Patch Dolls. Remember that nonsense? People fighting in K-Mart aisles?
I coveted those Izod shirts! I was late high school/college age at the time. I still remember I bought two that were on sale; one was kelly green and the other one was a tan color. I'm picturing a big hole where the alligator was??
ReplyDeleteBijoux - Oh, I bet that kelly green izod was so cute. Pink and green - I recall those being the in colors. No, there was no hole. No mark whatsoever. It was just stitched on there, and Mom just cut a thread and off it came.
DeleteOh, I would have been heartbroken if my mom had done that with something I coveted. I appreciate the message, but OUCH.
ReplyDeleteJulie- It was a tad harsh, thinks my current self. Back in the day, I deferred all things to mom and believed in her wisdom. I wonder if it didn't bother her that it was so easy for my aunt to afford the Izods as gifts when she couldn't. I don't know that my sisters were bothered by it. I never saw any outward sign and they certainly didn't verbalize any complaint.
DeleteVery sweet story about your mom. I like coach’s comment too about sending random kids to pass by their yard.
ReplyDeletePat - Yeah, my mom loves little kids. Coach - always trying to think up an angle to make a buck. Ha.
DeleteNana the Big Tipper is adorable! I love Coach’s get rich quick scheme.
ReplyDeleteKay and Rae are in different schools this year, right? How are they handling being at different schools? Hope the school year has been off to a good start!
joymariecooks - She is very friendly and wants to talk to everyone and give money to whoever is around, esp a little kid. She gives money to little kids at Curly's games when they go out and shoot hoops at half time. Coach sometimes jokes that he's gonna go caddy again - come out of retirement. ;)
DeleteThe little girls are at different schools, as Rae is in high school. We opted not to send her to public school. She loves her new school, but the chore of getting her there in the morning is not easy. I should write a post about it. the girls are not close. At all. Rae is very annoyed by Kay, and Kay is very very immature, so the different schools is not an issue at all. Rae did used to tip me off to things like Kay is always wandering the halls or always in visiting the nurse. I now touch base with the teachers about what Kay is up to, and Kay isn't allowed to use the restroom without one teacher's approval. she's a piece of work.