coaching, part II: a threat, classroom crap & 35 POINTS

(con't from Thursday's post):  recap - our high school coach 'Ego' and his sidekick 'Pinhead' suck. 

After he told Reg to talk to himself more quietly . . .  Ego lost his shit with the team. Hollering something about how he knows everything and he's been coaching for 20 years, yadda, yadda. Then he unleashed on Reg, targeting him when it wasn't a Reg-specific issue. 

Thanks GIPHY

After practice he called Reg into his office and shouted, I CAN THROW YOU OFF THIS TEAM AND YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CAN GO TO ANOTHER SCHOOL WHERE YOU WON'T EVEN GET TO PLAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO SIT OUT A YEAR. 

Hold on there, mister . . . did you just threaten my kid? For what, exactly? I told Coach (my husband - not to be confused with the lunkheads), I'd like to meet this loser in a dark alley. I would literally pound him. 

Reg said the odd thing was at the start of that practice Ego had pulled him aside saying he was playing relaxed and looking good. 

Reg:  IT'S LIKE HE'S BIPOLAR OR SOMETHING. 

5. Not being over-sensitive:  A few days later I hosted a last minute pasta party. The guys were joking around, imitating Ego's bark, "I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT BASEKTBALL." 

One kid asked Reg what Ego's deal is, because "DUDE, HE'S ALWAYS SHOUTING AT YOU FOR LIKE NOTHING. IT'S SO WEIRD." The rest of the guys agreed. 

Coach and I had wondered if Reg was exaggerating or being over-sensitive. This was eye-opening. 

6. Don't drag it into the classroom, leave it on the court:  (I almost shortened this in my title to NO BALLS IN THE CLASSROOM, then I thought it thru). The next day in Ego's history class, Ego blasted his class:  YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO ME, I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HISTORY. (then turning to face Reg) RIGHT, REG? PLUS I KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT BASKETBALL, RIGHT? 

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When the twins' mom died a few weeks, the dad was overwhelmed. He didn't call the school to alert them of the situation before the kids returned. Ego teaches C's freshman history class. Ego made the class repeat a word, like DICTATORSHIP. He didn't feel like C had repeated the word. He made him say it solo, but still sensed he was giving him attitude. In reality he was just being quiet. 

*C is an honor student, good grades, and zero attitude problem. He starts on the freshman boys' basketball team.

Ego:  WELL, C. NOT SURE HOW YOU'LL BE ABLE TO PLAY B-BALL FOR ME SOMEDAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LISTEN. SEE ME AFTER CLASS. 

After class, C broke down and told Ego his mom had just died suddenly. Ego was like WELL, WE HAVE TO LET THE SOCIAL WORKERS KNOW.

The high school teacher I sit for told me that no teacher should ever single out a kid in class, if it looks like they're having a bad day. 

I'm at a loss for how/why this guy brings coaching stuff into the classroom. I find it completely unacceptable. My hope is that C won't have Ego as a varsity coach one day. Fingers crossed he is replaced by then.

OTHER BITS: 

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A memorable game:  The game after my last minute pasta party was against the 1st
place team. The last time we played them, we lost by 20. Feb. 3rd, we came SO CLOSE. The teams were tied or up a point here and there, but eventually we lost by 6. Reg had 35 of our team's 64 points. He was on fire. I wept a little when he reached 30 points. 22 had been his record. He refused to be excited about how he played because he was so upset that we'd come

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so close but still lost - we'd been up by 4 with like 3 minutes left. 

My poor budget:  In late November, Reg started seeing a sport psychologist. We'd noticed that he was struggling with anxiety surrounding basketball even during his travel season/AU. The high school season has been challenging mentally. I begged him to just quit the team mid-season. Just focus on the AU team in the off-season. He wouldn't hear of it. The tab for this sport doc is INCREDIBLY pricey. 

Health concern:  After the practice when Ego threatened to kick Reg off the team, I called the epilepsy doctor. We decided to layer on a new drug, because Reg's 'deja vous' feelings had ramped up - seems to Coach and I that this happens more often before or during a game. Is stress a factor? Reg insists that it happens at other times. Maybe he only mentions the basketball episodes because he's worried that he'll mess up in his game and it's therefore more concerning to him. The new med happens to include a bit of a mood stabilizer. 

Ego has it all wrong - Reg is a good kid:  Remember the special man who befriended our family a few years ago? He comes to most of Reg's games with his dad. They sit with us in the stands. Reg always seeks Michael out in the bleachers after his game to thank Michael for coming. Additionally, he responds to all of Michael's texts during the week, like 'happy hump day'. Reg poses for photos with him. When Reg comes to Curly's games, Michael waves, "I saved a seat for you." Reg sometimes bypasses sitting with his peers at the girls' games in order to sit with Michael, knowing it's a big deal to him. Reg isn't cocky or arrogant and doesn't have an attitude. What is the deal? 

I always thank Michael's dad for taking such an interest and attending the kids' games. The dad looked at me:  OH, TRUST ME. YOUR FAMILY IS LIKE A MILLION DOLLARS TO US. THE WAY YOU TREAT MICHAEL MEAN MORE THAN I CAN TELL YOU. 

Other people who see it:  A mom 'Kate' with a sophomore son who played for Ego as a freshman told me recently that Ego attended part of the sophomore practice (her son is very good, but isn't on varsity) and Ego yelled at him:  WHAT ARE YOU DOING? PLAYING LIKE REG? THAT'S ALL WE NEED, ANOTHER REG. 

He said these words OUT LOUD, people. Um, Reg just scored 35 points in a game, helping you to almost topple the #1 team. You shut, shut your mouth. 

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Kate's daughter played travel with Curly and this woman is VERY even-keeled. She knows basketball. She looked at me, confused. WHAT WOULD BE WRONG WITH HAVING ANOTHER REG? 

She also told me that every parent/player from last year's freshman team (current sophomores) is unhappy that Ego is coaching varsity. She thinks Ego just dislikes a few kids and her kid and mine are two of them. BUT, when Ego caught wind last year of Reg almost leaving the school, he begged him to stay.

Ego:  DUDE, WHY ARE YOU THINKNG OF LEAVING? I MEAN. I KNOW IT ISN'T ME. WE'RE GOOD. I KNOW YOU KNOW I CAN COACH. IS IT YOUR PARENTS THAT WANT CATHOLIC SCHOOL? (Reg told him it was social- which was part of it, but Reg was secretly like you're gonna be a terrible coach). 

I honestly didn't think the season would be THIS bad. I thought Ego's shortcomings would be limited to his inability to design plays, etc. Nope. His level of ridiculous knows no bounds.

I know this is basketball heavy, but please come back next time so you can weigh in on what, if anything, we should do. 

In other news:  On Wed. I slipped on ice. To be clear - it was a bit of an ICE CUBE. In my kitchen. I transformed briefly into a cartoon character, hooking my arm on a bar stool at the island. The stool went down, softly because my winter coat hung on the back of it. I wrenched my back. I felt like I need a good physical therapist. wink, wink. The PT I keep on the payroll said I was just sore. Sunday morning I woke up feeling less like my spine would forever be shaped like an S. Grateful that no one caught my grace-less moment on video. 

Glad my kids are athletic and coordinated enough to play basketball. They don't take after me. As my gym teacher used to say:  Ernie can't chew gum and walk at the same time. 

Anyone else struggle with an in-home hazard?