Don't mind me. I'm normal. I drove with another mom to mom's weekend. Remember Ed's friend, Ry?
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| Some people have work calls, others of us build forts and rearrange furniture in the process. |
Coach lent me his earbuds, saying I could use them if I wanted to while she was on her calls. I decided I'd listen to my rosary podcast.
How I became an SNL skit: The put-together mom sat in the passenger seat making work-related calls. I fumbled around in my purse while keeping my eyes on the road. I found the earbuds, put them in, and plugged them into my phone.
I pulled up my podcast. It wouldn't play. No clue why. Wifi? I was now driving with earbuds in for no apparent reason and I felt silly. I texted Mini to see if she could chat. I thought I could talk softly into my phone and listen to her in my earbuds. Look at me, I'm a fully functional person with technological know-how, or not.
Mini called. Her voice boomed over Bluetooth. Oops, my passenger was making official calls. Coach had told me that plugging the headset in would override Bluetooth. Did I insert it into the wrong hole? (That's what he said. - couldn't resist).
I told Mini to hang on. I fumbled around a bit more. I turned off Bluetooth and hit speaker on my phone. Then her voice exploded over my phone while I sat with headphones in. I tried taking it off speaker. Unplugging my phone from the charging cord connected to the car. Mini was getting impatient and I was feeling like Mr. Bean alongside my corporate friend. The radio might have blared for a moment. I don't remember. Flustered, I was.
I tried not to display any facial twitches, but I'm programmed to use Google Maps and now with Bluetooth off I had no visible map on my spoiled-by-all-the-advances minivan screen.
I tried to talk to Mini but she couldn't hear me. At last, I yanked out the earbuds, disconnected them from the phone, and held the phone to my ear not utilizing speaker phone, which is probably illegal. Mini and I had a short conversation the old fashioned way.
Best time to take a tumble is when padded, literally: Last time I was on Ed's campus prior to the mom's weekend was for the 0600-departure-day for the basketball game following the night of my pouty, un-birthday meal.
My girls own purses, but don't use them. How? For the basketball game, I agreed to stuff their pads into my coat pockets. My kids need to start coming equipped with their own necessities. At church someone almost always asks me for Kleenex. I've resorted to eye-rolling and mouthing: WHERE IS YOUR KLEENEX?
We were in the nosebleed section at the b-ball game, and I was a touch dizzy. Tired? If I fell down the stairs, I would've bounced along, protected by the plethora of pads lining the insides of my coat.
I told the girls: That's it. From now on, carry your own supplies.
Perhaps they'll go the fanny pack route. Have you noticed, fanny packs are making a comeback. Who'd've thunk a handy item worn by moms in the early 90s would emerge as a popular accessory to hip young girls in 2023? Not me, friends - NOT me. They wear them over a shoulder or something, and hey - they are handy.
I feel seen. Tuesday I was at the grocery shopping for veggies to make a meatless stir fry to serve with quinoa for the protein on Ash Wednesday. *I'm channeling my inner Nicole. (Hi NICOLE) 
I might've overcooked the
veggies, but we all enjoyed it.
Delilah (Hi DELILAH) called me and we got caught up. She got a good giggle when I misplaced my cart for 4 minutes. I was loading my groceries into my car and we were still talking. OK, so mostly - I was talking. If you know, you know.
Diane asked me if I was still at the store. She was pulling in the parking lot as I was leaving. She spotted me in the Great White and I felt seen.
I don't think I've ever told you about how our calls are sometimes stolen . . . moving that to my next post because I've got to tell you about my face.
Kangaroo. I have a slight cold - not a feel-lousy ordeal, just blowing my nose a little. I can't remember when it started because it's been so mild. Germs are my occupational hazard. I manage to dodge them a lot, or I've already had everything.
My throat hurt Friday evening while visiting Ed, and it kept me awake. The next day was better. It was strange though, because it wasn't the start of the mild cold - it was like the middle, maybe? Or was this a new cold?
Tuesday my face looked funny. Maybe I was in weekend-recovery mode, or perhaps a semi drove over my face while I slept. A few hours later, my eye started to weep, then ooze mucus. I don't think it's pink eye: no pain/sensitivity to light. It's the same side where my nose gets stuffed during the night. The doc said it could be overflow from my sinuses. So my eye is acting like a nose then? Lovely.
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| Did I need a content warning for this? It's my face, people. Don't be alarmed. |
This morning the eye wasn't as red. Still woke up to drainage and then this: A
POUCH ON MY FACE (AN INCH BELOW MY EYE) THAT A KANGAROO WOULD ENVY.
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Do you know how to work your Bluetooth or earbuds, or are you gifted enough to mange both? Have you held onto something, like a fanny pack, in hopes that it would make a comeback? Do you vote that I start the antibiotic or hold off? Have you had an inconvenient ailment/facial-pouch before a fun weekend?
31 comments:
I know how to work my Apple CarPlay, but even that can be tricky. I dislike the new fanny pack trend. I think it looks very bizarre and uncomfortable to wear a Fanny pack up so high, it’s basically under the breast.
It was a pet peeve to me on vacations having my kids and husband always asking me for stuff from my purse. I finally convinced my husband to wear a back pack to keep family stuff so that I could just have a tiny purse and be comfortable.
I did have a pouch under my eye once after coming home from a trip to San Diego. The doctor kept asking if something bit me on the beach. I did take antibiotics for it. I suspect I had an allergic reaction to facial/makeup wipes I used at a hotel.
I was chuckling but also a little concerned reading about your earbud struggles—knowing you were driving (on a highway?) while doing all of this. also knowing you were writing about it after the fact so you were safe and sound
. I hear you on the phone not switching the the desired mode. It happens to me all the time!
You can have a sinus infection without pain- I’ve had many and am never that uncomfortable. Without being too graphic, you know by what’s coming out of your sinuses. Ewwww. That pouch is quite something- hope it settled down quickly.
That “anonymous” was me. Capthca not cooperating!
I can't live without my earbuds - I have some sort of audio sensitivity, so I use them just to block stuff out when I'm in a noisy environment (sometimes I'm not even playing anything on the earbuds, they're just in there, lol!).
I never liked fanny packs, but my cool kid has one - he slings it over a shoulder though. It's a much better look than around the waist, but still doesn't look comfortable. I call it his purse to mess with him.
Hope your face feels better!
I refuse to use my purse for other people's stuff unless they are little kids. Hell, I hate carrying a purse for MY stuff.
Oh, gosh--why would you wait to take antibiotics, especially if you're full of weepy snot and have a pouch of same on your face? TAKE THOSE DRUGS, WOMAN.
Your kangaroo pouch is giving me the shivers. I would lay down with a warm compress on that sucker and probably take the antibiotics too. I've only had one sinus infection but my teeth hurt so bad I actually went to the dentist first before figuring it out. Do your teeth hurt??
Raises both hands: I do not know how to properly work my earbuds/Bluetooth. Or if I figure it out in one car, when I go to another vehicle, it's like I've never done it before.
My husband still asks me if I have room in my purse for his sunglasses when we go somewhere. Generally, it is NIGHTTIME, and I can't figure out why he doesn't leave them in the car!
It took me way too long to figure out what part of your face the pouch was on. *sigh* Take the drugs. Get it over with already!
I still have my brother's Fanny Pack from the '80s! Lolo and I purchased fanny packs a few years ago, but I've yet to use mine. (I should wear it around the yard for dog treats and poop bags though!)
HI ERNIE! Your stirfry looks great!
Oh, your poor eye. Yikes!
I have a fanny pack/ belt bag (that's what they are called now) for dog walks, but I wear it cross-body like a purse. I just cannot wear it as a fanny pack, I cannot and I will not.
I have noticed that fanny packs are making a comeback and I consider it a sign of the apocalypse. Was it not bad enough that we used those things decades ago, looking like lumpy fools in the process? But to bring them back into vogue... it's a sign, I tell you. I'll stick with my slimming crossbody bag, thank you very much.
There is NO downside to taking the antibiotics. Also, then you don't have to worry you might give Mini whatever it is you have. TAKE THEM.
I don't know how to use earbuds, like at all, since everything went wireless. I was good with the old ones that plugged in.
Fannypacks have a time and place. They're pretty convenient at like a theme park, because you generally don't need to take it off to go on a ride. But as "fashion" no thank you.
I am such an old lady when it comes to earbuds/bluetooth. I just don't even bother.
I hope that pouch goes back from where it came and quickly! It looks painful.
Bijoux - I've had my Honda minivan since late June. The screen JUST decided to let me connect my phone/contacts. No idea what prompted that. I could see maps in the past and Bluetooth worked, but I could only call someone by asking google to make a call. Not sure what the deal was, but happy to have it up and running now.
I was so happy when someone invented drawstring bags. I finally made my kids carry a sweatshirt and a snack or a small toy to keep them busy/happy when we went places. Before that, Coach carried a backpack too.
My facial swelling has gone down, but it isn't entirely gone. I started the antibiotic today. Hoping that does the trick.
Pat - I sounds like I was doing a lot, but really I was just hitting a button here and there. I was on a straight stretch of highway with no traffic. I felt plain silly. I still haven't figured out my car system yet.
My nose was stuffed up on one side AGAIN last night, so I called uncle and started the antibiotic this am. I've had sinus infections before, but I usually have some discomfort like a headache or pressure. Maybe this one just decided to fester in my face.
Amy - I still have no idea what I was doing that was wrong. I feel like I'm in one of those Progressive commericals (is that the company?) where the people turn into their parents?
What happened to drawstring bags as options for carrying stuff? Laughing that you call it his purse.
My pouch is less puffy, but still there. I said yes to drugs this morning.
Nance - Amen - little kids need help carrying the stuff. Teens - get it together.
I know, I know. I hestiate to take antibiotics because of two important words: YEAST INFECTION. I starte the meds after I woke up and that side of my nose was one again stuffed up so much. Enough. I wave the white flag, but please universe spare me the yeast infection. I eat greek yogurt daily, but still I sometimes end up with that icky hellish ordeal.
Colleen - Sorry, hope you weren't eating while reading my post. :) I have done a few hot washcloths on there. It's so strange that I don't have many other symptoms. I have had my share of sinus infections - some worse than others. The worst one I ever had included painful teeth and a face that I felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat. I started the meds this morning, but it blows my mind that I didn't have headache or extreme fatigue or sore teeth or sinus pressure. Weird.
Suz - Oh the silly looking puffy face. I don't need age progression softward, I know what I will look like in 20 years. PUFFY. I did start the meds - even though I live in fear of a yeast infection while I'm visiting Mini. Fingers crossed. I stopped doing the ointment because I don't think this was pink eye. I hope to get my contact lenses back in too, because I hate wearing glasses almost as much as I hate having a yeast infection.
Maybe Coach thinks MY FUTURE'S SO BRIGHT, I GOTTA WEAR SHADES. At night? That's funny. We're the opposite. I often ask Coach to hold my lipstick in his pocket so I don't have to bring a purse to a party.
The Bluetooth in my new minivan has been very sporadic. This is why God gave me teenagers.
I thought I'd seen young women with fanny packs and that was confirmed when my sister asked me if I thought Mini would like a fanny pack for Christmas. I was like HUH? PROBABLY NOT, SINCE SHE DOESN'T WEAR JEAN SHORTS WITH A TUCKED IN T-SHIRT AND WHITE SNEAKERS AND A VISOR. Of course I didn't say THAT.
Nicole - The stir fry was so yummy. A priest absolved me for life because of my celiac disease so I CAN eat meat on Ash Wednesday and Fridays in lent, but I thought I'd try. I forgot to put the water chestnuts in - Delilah was leading me around the store to the correct aisle and they I forgot to put the in. Dang. I love water chestnuts. Next time.
I'll do a crossbody tiny bag but I cannot do a fanny pack in the way they were once worn. Nope.
Ally - I'm dying. A sign of the apocalypse. So funny. *I cannot spell apocalypse, and I kept scrolling back to your comment to memorize the spelling because for some reason spell check does not work on my laptop. I finally just wrote the word on my paper calendar next to me . . . if anything happens to me, and someone sees the word apocalypse on my calendar at the end of April (which is where the calendar happened to be open to) there will be much confusion about the state of my mental health.
Kate - Well, I have often had the unhappy issue of a nasty yeast infection while on antibiotics, so that's why I hesitated. I'm married to a mind over matter guy and sometimes that gets in my head. I started taking them this morning though after I woke up still stuffed on one side of my nose and still a little puffy in the face.
Kara - I wonder if I'm turning into my parents. Maybe this is the equivalent of my parents not chaning the time on the VCR back in the day.
I agree, a fanny pack might come in handy in some places. I've also seen such cute tiny cross body bags that will fit a phone and money and a lipstick. A much better look than a fanny pack.
Beth - I laughed that you don't even bother. I struggled so much with the system in the Honda minivan. It always wanted to fight with me. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
My face did NOT hurt - it just looked like I could smuggle drugs in there and hop a plane to Mexico or something.
I am universally tech challenged. When all the moms were driving to see the one daughter's play, I was driving with one mom and called the other mom and hit speaker but then thought it hadn't worked and put the phone to my ear and she is not a quiet woman so she bellowed HELLO and almost blew out my eardrum. Then I fell on the ice - I should have padded with pads.
Rude about the sinus stuff. If weird-ass shit is going to happen to our bodies, could it confine itself to areas we can cover with clothing?
Fanny packs are making a comeback??!! No. Just no. What's next - shoulder pads?
Take the antibiotics and try warm compresses - definitely your sinuses.
Ali - My car will just arbitrarily decide to send sound through the phone instead of Bluetooth and it boggles the mind. Of course that happened with a not-so-quiet woman.
Ha, yes - that would make things way too easy. I'm surprised that the little pouch is still somewhat pouch-ie. Go away already. Maybe once I've been on the drugs for 24 hours I will get the smooth (well, wrinkled) surface back on my face.
Gigi- Yep. They are a thing now with the younger crowd. And just like that everything I thought I understood about fashion evaporated. Oh, geez - shoulder pads. The bigger, the better.
I think at this point that the puffy face is only noticeable to me - or at least that's what I'm telling myself as I am about to go to book club. Then we leave to visit Mini tomorrow.
I think the challenge isn't with actually using earbuds/bluetooth, but the oddball times when you need to decouple something it usually connects to. Like the car, in your situation.
About the corporate mom: I never feel put together doing work stuff in a car, so she may not have been feeling as good as she appeared. I tend to feel it as a massive failure that I wasn't sufficiently organized and on top of things to avoid being in that situation. And if someone else was around, I would feel worse, because I would feel like I was being rude to them on top of failing to manage work in a better way.
That car incident would have happened to me as well. I don't understand bluetooth or anything else. I wish I was more tech savvy.
I love the belt bags. I don't wear it as a fanny pack, but rather as a cross body. I have the Lululemon one, and it is fantastic.
I hope you feel better. ❤️
Anonymous - Yes, I've struggled with that. If Coach is driving and I try to take a call that doesn't necessarily needed to be announced to the whole car, the dang Bluetooth keeps re-connecting.
I'm sure that my passenger felt bad taking her call while I was driving. It really didn't bother me, but I felt like I could go ahead and get something done while she was occuppied. Then I just felt plain silly and I fear that my fumbling around made her feel worse about being on her phone - like I was trying to feign activity. We chatted a lot more on the ride home.
Kari - It is mind blowing to me that kids today seem to be born with an ability to manage all things tech-related. Try as I might, I'm clueless.
Belt bag -is that what they're calling them nowadays? I'm sure yours is cute. You can't go wrong with Lulu.
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