Don't mind me. I'm normal. I drove with another mom to mom's weekend. Remember Ed's friend, Ry?
|Some people have work calls, others of |
us build forts and rearrange
furniture in the process.
Coach lent me his earbuds, saying I could use them if I wanted to while she was on her calls. I decided I'd listen to my rosary podcast.
How I became an SNL skit: The put-together mom sat in the passenger seat making work-related calls. I fumbled around in my purse while keeping my eyes on the road. I found the earbuds, put them in, and plugged them into my phone.
I pulled up my podcast. It wouldn't play. No clue why. Wifi? I was now driving with earbuds in for no apparent reason and I felt silly. I texted Mini to see if she could chat. I thought I could talk softly into my phone and listen to her in my earbuds. Look at me, I'm a fully functional person with technological know-how, or not.
Mini called. Her voice boomed over Bluetooth. Oops, my passenger was making official calls. Coach had told me that plugging the headset in would override Bluetooth. Did I insert it into the wrong hole? (That's what he said. - couldn't resist).
I told Mini to hang on. I fumbled around a bit more. I turned off Bluetooth and hit speaker on my phone. Then her voice exploded over my phone while I sat with headphones in. I tried taking it off speaker. Unplugging my phone from the charging cord connected to the car. Mini was getting impatient and I was feeling like Mr. Bean alongside my corporate friend. The radio might have blared for a moment. I don't remember. Flustered, I was.
I tried not to display any facial twitches, but I'm programmed to use Google Maps and now with Bluetooth off I had no visible map on my spoiled-by-all-the-advances minivan screen.
I tried to talk to Mini but she couldn't hear me. At last, I yanked out the earbuds, disconnected them from the phone, and held the phone to my ear not utilizing speaker phone, which is probably illegal. Mini and I had a short conversation the old fashioned way.
Best time to take a tumble is when padded, literally: Last time I was on Ed's campus prior to the mom's weekend was for the 0600-departure-day for the basketball game following the night of my pouty, un-birthday meal.
My girls own purses, but don't use them. How? For the basketball game, I agreed to stuff their pads into my coat pockets. My kids need to start coming equipped with their own necessities. At church someone almost always asks me for Kleenex. I've resorted to eye-rolling and mouthing: WHERE IS YOUR KLEENEX?
We were in the nosebleed section at the b-ball game, and I was a touch dizzy. Tired? If I fell down the stairs, I would've bounced along, protected by the plethora of pads lining the insides of my coat.
I told the girls: That's it. From now on, carry your own supplies.
Perhaps they'll go the fanny pack route. Have you noticed, fanny packs are making a comeback. Who'd've thunk a handy item worn by moms in the early 90s would emerge as a popular accessory to hip young girls in 2023? Not me, friends - NOT me. They wear them over a shoulder or something, and hey - they are handy.
I feel seen. Tuesday I was at the grocery shopping for veggies to make a meatless stir fry to serve with quinoa for the protein on Ash Wednesday. *I'm channeling my inner Nicole. (Hi NICOLE)
I might've overcooked the
veggies, but we all enjoyed it.
Delilah (Hi DELILAH) called me and we got caught up. She got a good giggle when I misplaced my cart for 4 minutes. I was loading my groceries into my car and we were still talking. OK, so mostly - I was talking. If you know, you know.
Diane asked me if I was still at the store. She was pulling in the parking lot as I was leaving. She spotted me in the Great White and I felt seen.
I don't think I've ever told you about how our calls are sometimes stolen . . . moving that to my next post because I've got to tell you about my face.
Kangaroo. I have a slight cold - not a feel-lousy ordeal, just blowing my nose a little. I can't remember when it started because it's been so mild. Germs are my occupational hazard. I manage to dodge them a lot, or I've already had everything.
My throat hurt Friday evening while visiting Ed, and it kept me awake. The next day was better. It was strange though, because it wasn't the start of the mild cold - it was like the middle, maybe? Or was this a new cold?
Tuesday my face looked funny. Maybe I was in weekend-recovery mode, or perhaps a semi drove over my face while I slept. A few hours later, my eye started to weep, then ooze mucus. I don't think it's pink eye: no pain/sensitivity to light. It's the same side where my nose gets stuffed during the night. The doc said it could be overflow from my sinuses. So my eye is acting like a nose then? Lovely.
|Did I need a content warning for this?|
It's my face, people. Don't be alarmed.
This morning the eye wasn't as red. Still woke up to drainage and then this: A
POUCH ON MY FACE (AN INCH BELOW MY EYE) THAT A KANGAROO WOULD ENVY.
Do you know how to work your Bluetooth or earbuds, or are you gifted enough to mange both? Have you held onto something, like a fanny pack, in hopes that it would make a comeback? Do you vote that I start the antibiotic or hold off? Have you had an inconvenient ailment/facial-pouch before a fun weekend?