January 22, 2020

50th Bridesmaids style

Well this is much less enjoyable than bouncing puppy rap, until you know the backstory.  Mary Ann and I have the same house # but live on different streets.  Fun.  I am on the corner of the culdesac and my side entry garage faces her house.  We sometimes get each other's mail.  She was texting me to find out if we had a VERY important delivery.  Coach and I were meeting with our financial adviser at our kitchen table, so I didn't respond right away.  Curly was sitting at the snack bar - you can kinda see her arm up on the right side.  Mary Ann came tearing out of her house, checked her mailbox, and then stormed over to our front door and rang the doorbell and grilled the kids (cuz Coach and I were busy in the meeting) about whether or not they saw her package.  This all happened 2 minutes after she sent me a text.  She did not give me much of a chance to respond! 

Full disclosure - earlier in the summer we got a delivery from Amazon.  We don't use our front door much (cuz side entry garage) and we didn't notice the package.  It eventually made it in the house and sat on the counter top waiting for someone to claim it.  I thought a kid ordered a book for school, but it was right after Vancouver and Ed was getting his wisdom teeth out and Lad was getting into trouble with us, so it sort of fell off my radar and got buried (as things on my counter tend to do).  Turns out it was Mary Ann's daughter's book and she was hot to trot that it was at our house for days.  #great-neighbors

So that was the longest caption I may have ever written.  I was saving that pic to accompany my DMV nightmare story that I still have yet to share even though it happened in early August.  I knew this pic required a lengthy explanation.  Look forward to the DMV part of that day- it's literally UNREAL.

Anyway, thank you Mary Ann, aka world's worst neighbor, for that intro to my friendship saga.  (If you are new here and unfamiliar with Mary Ann - I suggest you do a search on the blog for Mary Ann stories.  You will be appalled.  Guaranteed.  Many, many links I could post.  One is titled 'cup o sugar'  - or something).  Aside from Mary Ann, I swear I DO have friends.  

As an aside to my aside, Mary Ann just so happens to be good friends with Cranky, who I highlighted in my last post.  If I ever write the book that I keep mulling over in my head that I call 'With Friends Like These', then you will get a detailed account of their nonsense.  I don't know that they have always been close, but at this point I don't think there is anyone else that can really tolerate either of them and their anal-ness for very long.

My friends are great and I can call them in a pinch and they would bale me out or lend me a cup of sugar, or listen to me rant, etc.  I tend to choose great listeners as friends because I talk a lot.  I would not trade my friends in for anything.  Hello Becky and Delilah! 

Here's the thing.  My group of friends is an eclectic group.  They do not know one another - at least not well,  Most have never met.  They have shown up at different stages of my life, and they rarely overlap.  This goes back to the issue that Coach and I have with couples that I touched on in the previous post.  Like Coach and I, I lack a 'group.'

On the 2nd to last day of this year, I will turn 50.  I am not all that worked up about it - but hell, I just turned 49 so give me time.  Or, maybe I will just shrug it off.  That sounds like a good plan and that is more my style.  

Over the years I have known/heard of people who have done a girls' weekend to celebrate their 50th.  Somehow this has become a thing in my mind.  I now identify my 50th with a destination surrounded by my besties, much like the little guys I sit for who from time to time have believed that a birthday is a place.  Like 'Chuckie Cheese' is a birthday.  

After reading many people's year end blog recaps and their resolutions, I admit to feeling a bit like 'Dang, so many people out there have a group, or people they do things with on the regular.'  People they vacation with, or get weekly coffee with, or celebrate New Year's Eve with.  

I admit to thinking more and more about my 50th birthday as if it were a girls' weekend.  If it were a destination, well then . . .  the closest thing that comes to mind is a scene from 'Bridesmaids.'  Like what would it look like if my friends who have mostly never met all became acquainted on this imaginary birthday weekend.  It makes me think of Ghostbusters when the guys say clear your mind and the one buster can't help but think of the marshmallow man!  

I picture my close friend from 2nd grade.  Marge never married and she is incredibly sheltered.  She is a great friend, and I love her dearly but I think she still cringes a bit if I drop the f-bomb in her presence.  

Then there is my babysitting compadre who I have been hanging out with for the last 3 or 4 years.  She cannot keep her mind out of the gutter, and she cracks me up.  When she comes over with the tots she sits for and I am feeding a fussy toddler, I say 'Put it in your mouth!  Put it in your mouth!' and Becky CANNOT help herself:  'That's what he said.'  It's like an automatic, and I thoroughly enjoy her.    

Then there are other straight laced mom types - some on the quiet side and some that can party with the best of them.  Some might be up for drinking games and some might be more content to sip a glass of wine and chit chat.  

I don't keep in touch with any high school friends anymore, except for Drew one of my high school buddies who lives in New York - he would NOT enjoy a girls' weekend.  My very best hs friend stopped talking to me a few years ago.  She lives out east now and she 'tired' of me and no longer wanted to be bothered with the frustrations caused by my middle child/family dilemmas.  I guess.  She never really said.  That hurt.  To me, those were really not the kind of reasons that you ditch a best friend after 30 plus years of friendship.  

My college friends are scattered all over the country, which is a little odd considering that I went to school in South Bend and TYPICALLY many SMC grads end up in the Chicago area.  Not my peeps though.

I love, love, love my Irish dancing friend moms, but they don't live really close to get together regularly.  They would be a hoot at my 50th destination b-day for sure.  They remain the best thing about attending long, grueling days at dancing competitions.  Bummer that they will not be in Ireland in April.  

I believe similar situations interfered with my girlfriend friendships as they did our couple friendships.  Changing schools wreaked havoc on my social life.  Kudos to Delilah for still keeping up/putting up with me even though our kids have not been in school for almost 7 years, and even though she always remembers my birthday and I have NOT remembered hers (this is the last year of that nonsense though! Watch out October!).

I attribute some of the shifts in friendship to people being busy and being pulled in different directions based on their kids' activities.  As with so many other peeps, they have their stuff and I have mine.  I have also noticed that I see some friends less because their youngest kids have graduated from our high school.  Our high school parenting years will not in the near future.  

Then, of course, there is all of you!  How fun/weird would it be to plan a meetup with blogging buddies?  My 50th is as good a time as any, don't you agree?  Who's in?  

Bridesmaids style 50th here I come!


Kari said...

Well since I turn 50 this year as well, I am all for the blogging meetup! I have always wanted to do that with my readers as well and other blog friends I have met over the past 10 years. SO MUCH FUN.

Almost all of my friends don't know each other, kind of like what you have too. I like that because I have friends from so many different backgrounds. Then there are different categories of friends. Friends who I see here and there (think every six months) or friends I see weekly or even every other day. Then there are neighbor friends. OMG, YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO WRITE A POST. :)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm all in as long as we don't go to some random buffet and I get the shits and have to poop in a sink. That's where I draw the line.
I LOVE that movie!!
I think you're so focused on your family (which is how you should be) and YOU have so much family, that it's harder to build and keep long friendships while also juggling a lot of activities. I blame your kids for it all. ;)
A few years ago three of my friends and I did the 'Pack up and Go' Surprise trip. Let me see if I can find the link....
It was a lot of fun and you choose your budget and whether you want to fly or drive.
Let me know when we're going. ;)

Charlie said...

I’m in!! I’m 50 next month and celebrating in New York for a week with family. I’m all about the destination birthdays (we’re from Oxford in the UK)!! I’m also going to Spain in May for 50th birthday celebrations with 9 of my school friends as we all turn 50 this year. 1970 was obviously the year for great ladies!!

Cheryl said...

Living on a culdesac and having a shitty neighbor is wrong in so many ways. I feel for you. We have lived in this house since '86 and have had pretty good neighbors, knock on wood. Interestingly, all the neighbors have pretty much stayed put. I guess we like where we live. lol.

I just watched a "turning 50 and getting together with the girlfriends" movie on netflix. It's called, Wine Country and has Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Tina Fey, etc...lots of SNL actors. They all get together and spend a weekend drinking wine in Napa and learning about themselves. If you like quirky humor, you will enjoy this movie.

Do something special for your only happens once!

Ernie said...

Kari- blogging meetup it is! It could either be REALLY great or awkward and strange, but shit I am willing to take that chance! Looking forward to your inspired post. And the 50th bday while hanging with bloggers could be a great part deux to our joint post. I have little scraps of paper everywhere with the posts I want to write. Not enough time in the day aka most days I can get nothing done because the damn maid keeps forgetting to show up. Bahh ha!

Ernie said...

Suz- OMG Bridesmaids was on last night and I flipped to it hoping it was THAT scene with the food posioning. Not so much. It was when they were calling each other to plan the bachelorette party and the blond with kids was screaming at her kids 'Shut up you savages!' ;) AND she was telling Kristen Wiig that she wanted balls in her face. Oops. Kids were awake and were waiting for me to find something to put on. Coach walked in perfectly timed to hear the dirty talk and he was NOT pleased. I always assume it goes over my kids' heads or they are not paying close attention. Coach is the heavy on the screening of the inappropriate movies. The poop in the sink scene would have been the perfect 10 min viewing before bed. Hmpf.

I will have to look at that link to your destination wherever post. Crazy busy day- well, if you count my 1.5 hr nap. That idea could work. I'm telling you- consider this a save the date but with the date pending. :)

Ernie said...

Charlie- hey, happy 50th!!! And yes 1970 was clearly the year of cool chicks. I almost did not make the cut as I arrived Dec 30th. You might have reached your celebrating max by the time we throw something together you PARTY animal you. Of course if you want to hang with us and can leap across the pond again- join in! Totally jealous of your girls all celebrating together. Have fun! Report back.

Ernie said...

Cheryl - 'a' shitty neighbor does not begin to cover it. We have 3 nutty neighbors and then some elderly folks who keep to themselves. Then we have a woman who is obsessed with her dog and walks him multiple times a day and when she passes us she kind of waits in case we want to bow down to her dog and worship him - I only know this because I am a mind reader and she gives us a look like, 'So, right? He's pretty amazing, huh.' Trust me, the kids get the same vibe. She doesn't bother me AT ALL, but she is super odd.

Then there is a guy across the street who lives next to Mary Ann. He is maybe 70 years old now, but we have lived her 12 years and soon after we moved in my kids claim that he walked to the mailbox in his boxers. They found this majorly entertaining.
His name is for real Bob, but we have ALWAYS referred to him as 'Bob in his boxers' like it is one word. As in, 'I think Bob in his boxers wife was taken to the hospital today in an ambulance.' That sentence was spoken about a year ago. Again, he does not offend me - I don't really know him and we don't see him much . . . unless you count walking to his mailbox.

OK, who thinks I could write a book about neighbors now, huh?!

I am TOTALLY checking out that movie. Quirky movie, with those ladies - right up my alley.

Bibliomama said...

Well obviously I'm turning 50 this year - is anyone here not? We went to Vegas for my friend's fiftieth last year and it was an absolute blast. I'm keeping it on a smaller scale.

We have great neighbours that we adore to the left, slightly socially awkward neighbours that we rarely interact with to the right, and across-the-street neighbours that are fine, just very, very different from us (okay, I confess I find them a little weird, and I'm sure they'd say the same about me).

Sadly, you and I could probably not be friends even if we lived close by because I would offend Coach mightily with my lax standards on showing kids inappropriate material. When we went on the Disney cruise and showed up for one movie, another mom asked me "do you know if this will have anything risque in it, because I have very strict standards on what I let my kids watch" and I said "sorry ma'am, I do not, you'll want to ask someone else". Sigh. I have good qualities that I hope make up for it.

Ernie said...

Bibliomama - I suspect my 50th will also be low key, but I fingers crossed for a low key celebration that includes my amazing blogging friends. Save the unassigned date, please.

I was once WAY more strict about the movie viewing of my offspring. But back then they could watch something acceptable and then go to bed and then I could watch something REAL. Now they are still awake and their viewing time conflicts with MY viewing time. Damn it. So, I assure you we would still be friends. Our closest couple-friends are pretty lax with movies at their house. Reg likes to come home and inform me of what he has seen (but he is smart enough not to mention it in front of Coach). Coach knows they are more lax and yet - still great friends, so don't rule out a budding friendship there.

Coach's issue stems from his horrible parents. Religious zealots that they are - Coach pretended that we saw Lion King like 25 times while dating to avoid their wrath. Um, we were in our 20's. Crazy, right?