Family fun: Coach's sister and family (4 flown and grown, + a serious boyfriend) flew in town Friday from KC for the weekend. Older kids have jobs and stuff, and they've not all made it to town for our last few gatherings. 
Living room: dumping ground. Does
this scream, "Hey, let's host family!"?
She'd texted us while we were in Italy, which reminds me - I still have Italy details to share, unless you're no longer interested, having fallen off the edge of your proverbial seat, to say they'd be in town June 7th. We offered to host Saturday. Coach's brother, the one with 9 kids, flew in town sans kids. Everyone else is local.
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| Let's reorganize bins of toys. Whoa boy, if I hang on to all of this stuff until I'm a grandma I'm gonna be all set. |
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| Storage room. Hope no one needs anything in there until after I've removed all the baby gear in the fall. |
All went fine, uneventful unless you count the times Dad laughed so hard at my running commentary that I told him to hand me his glass of Gatorade laced with Miralax for fear he'd spill it.
Background: Dad was grouchy for the first 70-ish years of his life. He's 85 now and everything is funny, sometimes downright hilarious. It's mind blowing.
*****
Let the fun begin: Thursday after I prepared the food for our Saturday party and stuck it in the fridge (finishing at 5:25), I breezed into my folks' house at 5:30 pm, calling, "I'M HERE FOR POOP PATROL!" Let the laughter commence.
Dad and I sat in their hall bathroom on chairs. It's spacious and has a separate door for the toilet/shower/tub area. I brought my shake mixer jug, so I could measure 64 ounces of Gatorade. Then I added half a bottle of Miralax. *Don't try this at home, I mean - unless you want to spend all evening in the loo.
*I'm omitting the jokes Dad found hilarious and I'll stick them in my next post, because this got long faster than you could say, The Miracles of Miralax.
It's nerve wracking to have an elderly parent go under anesthesia. I texted Coach: They just took him back. Say a prayer that he wakes up.
I've only ever been the one in the bed, groaning and groggy, so I was shocked at how fast it went. They'd also done an endoscopy. The doc came in while Dad was still snoozing. The endoscopy was clear. Unfortunately they found a tumor the size of a golf ball in his colon. The doc believes it's malignant. He took some biopsies.
So, that sucked. But I wasn't surprised based on info I've heard at his last few doc appointments. I hadn't thought far enough ahead to wonder what I would do if there was bad news. I shared it with my sibs. Pat asked if I was OK. I was fine. I'm interested in next steps, etc.
When Dad woke up, he was like SO? He was bummed when I told him. Asked a few times if maybe it was benign and they were wrong. I told him we won't know till the tests are back, but that the doc probably knew what he was looking at. He wondered if they took it out. I said we'd have to see what the next doc says, whether or not that's an option.
On the drive home:
Dad: Well, I'm glad I did that.
I agreed. Now we know stuff. Then he had me call Nana and ask her to prep two hot dogs for him. I pointed out that it wasn't Saturday. Dad has a specific lunch plan that he follows each week. Saturdays are hot dog days. I tried to say maybe hot dogs wouldn't be the food to jump back in with.
Dad: Why? They're meat.
Me: Wellllll, really . . . the meat part is questionable.
Dad (when I mentioned Saturday is hot dog day): I don't give a damn. I'm starving and I want two hot dogs.
I asked him if he'd ever had a colonoscopy and he said yeah. Years and years ago. Ugh.
PSA: Get your pipes checked. If you need someone to hand you your 80 billion glasses of Gatorade with Miralax, I can check my calendar for availability, but judging from Dad's reaction to my stand up (or in this case sit down) routine, I might be taking my act on the road some time soon.
*****
Quiz: what do you think I served at the family party on Saturday? C'mon. You know this one, if you've spent any time here. Do you know anyone who relaxed and enjoyed everything AFTER they were aged?
I'm so sorry about the tumor. Prayers for your family.
ReplyDeleteEli- thank you. I appreciate that.
DeleteOh, so sorry about your dad! Hopefully they have a good treatment plan lined up so you can have him as your audience for your jokes for many years to come.
ReplyDeleteYou served your 7 layer dip? I mean, if it is good enough to take cross country, it's good enough for family. Maybe pasta bake? I could be completely wrong. Cooking on the grill would be easier, but you rarely take the easy way! 😀
Hope the party went well and that all daily members were civil!
PS- of course I want to hear more about Italy! You make every story great to hear- and, as I don't travel , I need to live vicariously through others.
Mbmom11- due to a cancellation- he is seeing a surgeon tomorrow. I think he needs a cat scan too.
DeleteYou know me well. Always 7 layer taco dip. I also did lots of baked mosticcoli. And I made two chocolate cakes with peanut butter frosting. No grill cooking because that is coach’s dept and with such a big group he’d be stuck there the whole time. I made everything in advance. Oh and two crockpots of over 12 lbs of It beef.
Mb- oh and thank you for your flattery of my stories. I’ll work in Italy scoop soon-ish
DeleteWow, I’m surprised on the size of the tumor. Praying for a good outcome! Has he had any issues in the potty dept that you were aware of? I’m with mbmom11 with a guess of 7 layer dip. And yes to more Italy stories!
ReplyDeleteBijoux- thanks for the prayers. He sees a surgeon tomorrow. I heard a few things that I found alarming at his doc appts recently. Following his blood transfusion. It seems neither of my parents did much in terms of keeping up with medical issues. Although dad has gone to an oncologist for decades.
DeleteYep 7 layer. Baked pasta(mosticcoli- I can’t spell it) and Italian beef in the crockpot. More Italy stories, coming soon. I do have a list of current/pressing stuff.
I'm sending all of the good thoughts and prayers for your dad, and hugs for you and your family <3
ReplyDeleteColonoscopies have a bad rap, and they should not. The best way to say it is exactly what you said: you "know stuff" when it's over. When I get a mammogram, I get a spiel about dense breast tissue and how maybe they see something and maybe they don't. When I did my colonoscopy last year, it was a clear cut "we got those suckers out of there while they were small, so you could have had a problem and now you don't have a problem as long as you come back and see us every three years". As far as the prep, you eat low fiber for a couple of days (my personal preference is The Grilled Cheese Diet), and then the prep itself was way less of a big deal than I thought it would be. So yeah, GET THE PIPES CHECKED!!!
I am a neat and orderly person but...I live with three people who are not neat and orderly. I had a tidy house when I was single, I get a tidy living space when I travel, and after the kids move out I will have a tidy house again. Anyone who wants to come over can handle clearing a path to get where they need to go.
Birchie- thank you. I appreciate that.
DeleteYes, these things can be caught and really a colonoscopy is not so bad. The prep used to be like a form of TORTURE. I know this because I had my first colonoscopy before I was married back in like 1994 or 95. I drank something called go lightly. I will probably glow in the dark someday as a result.
I enjoy order but I do fine without it. I usually manage to find things even when the place is a disaster. I keep telling myself these dumping days of college kids will be over . . Some day. Not soon though.
Oh Ernie. You have ever so much on your plate. I just can't fathom all the balls you're juggling at one time. And to have to add company into the mix. Yikes.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good daughter for so tenderly and faithfully caring for your parents. It is no fun to become a nurse to older parents, but you are doing admirably. I'm so, so sorry to hear about the tumor. Cancer is such a menace and I hope that the doctors and other members of the medical team are able to deal with this quickly and fully.
Sending hugs <3
Elisabeth- I do have a full plate but I am at a swim meet right now and there are not enough swimmers to need my land so I am reading blogs and commenting and I love to make good use of my time.
DeleteAnd I brought a chair. I usually need to stand for three hours straight. Taking this as a win.
Ann got him an appt already which was lucky. The pathology came back that it is cancer. I think he needs a cat scan.
Thanks for the good thoughts and virtual hugs.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad Erin. The 2 hot dog order made me laugh - not the healthiest food choice to start with. I’m glad your dad has lightened up in his later years. I think that happens a lot. My guess is- Italian beef or those big pasta casseroles you always make??
ReplyDeletePat- yeah, it’s a bummer but I feel like they are gonna cut it out and he will recover. He’s a fighter. I think dad lightened up once he had enough money to gift the grandkids what he wanted to.
DeleteThe two hot dogs- like Dad? Let’s think this thru. Those need to er pass that golf ball. Ugh.
I did Italian beef in crockpots and I made so much and had very little left. Pasta trays too, but I had more of that leftover. I am feeding that to my folks this week. Plus 7 layer taco dip, pumpkin bread, cookies. Always. And then the chocolate cakes that are new to my rotation.
Oh, hell. I'm sorry to hear the outcome of the apostrophe. I hope for the best possible scenario moving forward.
ReplyDeleteIf I was looking at two hotdogs after all that, I'd see it as a continuation of the punishment! But I'm the minority around here. Everyone loves hotdogs but me. I think it's hilarious that he has certain foods on certain days.
I hope you have a good visit with the family. If I were you, I'd just get a couple of party trays, but...!
Nance- it is tough news, but I feel like they will remove it and he will recover. Until I know differently that’s my mindset.
DeleteHe is a creature of habit. The two hot dogs gave me pause- like enjoy yourself - you’re 85 but also those hotdogs will need to bypass that golf ball. Right?
I made everything in advance. Pasta trays. It took less than 2 hours to prepare. The. Cookies that I had stored in the freezer. Pumpkin bread. Italian beef- hey that’s store bought, dumped in a crockpot. Coach and mini made a tossed salad and it was a hit. I made two chocolate cakes with peanut butter frosting that I learned about from Gigi. The two little girls made cool whip cream cheese pies with fruit on top. And I did 7 layer taco dip and cowboy caviar. The hardest part was ordering the house. But it all got done even though I spent Thurs- Fri with the colonoscopy thing
Ditto nance's idea of a couple of party trays. I no longer want to cook for people, I want to spend time with people instead of stressing about food. Make it easy on yourself.
ReplyDeleteAlly- I thought about ordering food but I did not want to shell out the money. I did pasta and Italian beef. Food I can prep in advance and just shove trays in the over. I did get lots of visiting time. Coach said afterward he thought it was perfect. I concur. Weather was great. Good worked well and we had time to talk to everyone.
DeleteOh, Ernie, I'm so sorry about your dad. But it sounds like you were maybe not completely blindsided by this? Either way, the news is always tough to hear but I completely understand the feeling of "at least now we know what we're dealing with". I echo Elisabeth -- you are a wonderful daughter to care so well for them, especially knowing some of the tricky family dynamics. Although probably not much GF options to choose from.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to guess your plan is pulled pork or Italian beef -- I seem to recall that making an appearance at several tailgate parties!
If you want to outsource some of the food prep, my kids LOVE the chick-fil-a catering trays (chicken, mac'n'cheese). Or Olive Garden has some good catering options as well.
Kate- thank you. You know- you aren’t wrong. There are a lot of tricky situations but it helps that my folks are so old and I have a decent perspective that they did the best they could. Dad asked me what I was working on on my laptop while he was drinking the stuff and I told him SMWRITI V STUFF ANOUT MY LIFE. He laughed saying I FONT WANT TO KNOW. Then I reminded him of a few stories that he’d forgotten but that are really funny.
DeleteIt beef and pasta trays. All prepped in advance. I would love to outsource but I did not want to pay that bill.
I'm sorry to hear the colonoscopy results are potentially bad news.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing you served either a ton of pasta or chili at the party.
Maybe treat your storage room like a rental storage locker? Charge the college kids a $5/month fee for every linear foot of crap they have in there this summer, and then in September use the money for a spa day!
I'd love to hear more Italy stories!
You haven't mentioned any updates on the adoption process in a while, are you still waiting on a court date?
Jenny in WV - Yeah, it's cancer. The pathology came back so fast. Of course I was the last to know, because Ann didn't bother to share it. She's fun, Have I mentioned. Anyway, she got him an appt with a surgeon tomorrow (Friday), so that's great. So fast. I think we're quitting his cancer doc because he doesn't do GI cancer anyway. Updates as they become available. I appreciate the good thoughts.
DeleteI'm laughing at your linear foot fee. Followed by a spa day. Funny stuff. I won't do that, because we do everything under the sun to have our kids save their money -but it might make them get rid of some stuff or think more about it.
More Italy stories will be forth coming. I have a list of things I need to share next to my computer keyboard. Hopefully I think of things while I'm at said keyboard, because otherwise - who knows when I'll remember. I'm a woman of a certain age now. The adoption process is winding down. New updated paperwork was sent today. It's taken some time, partly because of testing we ordered for Kay and partly because our lawyer got sick and then had to play catch up and we lost over a week trying to get a meeting set up to finish reviewing the, what - 500? page document. Good times. I think the date will be set in the next month. Keep you posted, thanks for asking.
I'm wishing for good news for your Dad. 💜
ReplyDeleteColonoscopies aren't so bad. The prep is the hardest part.
Kari - Thank you. I really appreciate that. I so agree, the prep is so doable nowadays. I could do a Ted talk on how colonoscopy prep prior to the 2000's could've killed someone, but it's a piece of cake now. Well, don't eat cake. Don't eat two hot dogs either. But you know what I'm saying.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear they found a tumor during the procedure. I hope the doc was wrong and it's benign. This reminds me I really need to schedule mine but it sounds so overwhelming... but I should just get it over with and stop worrying about childcare. I am sure a friend could our kids to childcare if need be.
ReplyDeleteLisa - It's cancer. I found out when my brother taped the doc appointment and shared the audio clip. I guess Ann found out it was cancer, but didn't you know - bother to share that info. Let's all try to imagine what would've happened to me, if I'd not shared the golf ball size tumor photos with the group chat? yeah, not a thing. Anyway, he sees a surgeon tomorrow. I'm gonna believe that they operate and he gets better, until someone tells me otherwise.
DeleteYeah, it's summer. You could even get a college kid to help out with the boys if needed. Get that thing scheduled, and then call me and I'll tell you funny stories and you'll have to fight not to drop your glass of Gatorade. Or not. ;)
Oh darn, I'm really sorry to hear about the tumor. But it's really great that your dad has found his happiness and sense of humor in his later years, and how nice that you could be there with him. As for all the guests, I hope you made something easy!
ReplyDeleteMichelle - Yeah, it's rough. He's old, so I'm not sure how much he can withstand - but he's also tough, so hopefully they can operate and he can get better. It is nice that he can be more relaxed and easy going nowadays. I believe he spent years and years worried about his job and money and how to provide for all of us. Now he has a ridiculous amount saved and the grandkids don't know it, but they each stand to inherit quite a substantial sum. That's his dream come true, so he's happy.
DeleteThat's too bad about the tumor.
ReplyDeleteI have found my own father is a lot more tolerable since he hit 65. He doesn't stress about everything any more, and has a much happier outlook on everything. It's like he faced his own mortality when his father died, and made him realize that he didn't want to be miserable like his Dad (who truly was a miserable SOB who lived 99 miserable years).
Kara - Ugh, it sure is. But it looks like it's in that one spot, so maybe they can get that thing out of there? And he'll get better.
DeleteWow, interesting that 65 was the year that turned your dad to happier times. I swear it's been ever since my dad decided he'd saved enough money to be able to substantially help his grandkids out. that settled him. Literally I could talk about the weather and he about falls over laughing. It's a huge ego boost, but also shocking considering what a grouch he was for years. Even my kids notice it.
I'm sorry about the not-so-good news. Keep us posted. I love that your dad is happier now than he used to be.
ReplyDeleteA few months ago, I would have said that Coach's dad has been a much more pleasant person to be around, but that faćade blew out the window at Lindsay's wedding. 😂
Um, I'm gonna have nightmares looking at your house. I mean, that is your house and not a storage facility, right? 🤪 You gotta warn a girl, you know how sensitive I am to messes!
I bet you made the seven layer dip. Or that chicken sheet pan thing? Oh, no, something in a crock pot. Chili?
Suz - Thanks, I'm sorry about that news too. I was sorry I hadn't prepared more for what if this is bad news, but I think I managed it just fine. Ugh, your FIL - yeah, he blew his streak there, didn't he?
DeleteOne photo was a storage room in the basement. this is why I cannot live in Florida, we need basement space for storing everyone's stuff. You should see the third car garage space. No place for a car. The living room is the one that has a bit of everything in there, but I did make them shove most of it into the corner of the dining room before the party. Tank will be moving out around July 1. I will miss him like crazy, almost makes me want to keep all his crap in my living room, ya know? I'm sorry to give you nightmares. I'm gonna need a whole lot of time to prepare if you ever come visit Chicago. ;) I need to send a pic of the baby bed that we rigged up in our master bedroom. We are weird in that strange room configurations do not stress us. This baby bed thing is downright SUPER creative, if you ask me.
I did not serve chili in June, but good guess. It does feed the masses and I make a mean batch of chili. I did the baked mosticcoli trays, and we had loads leftover but with college kids home and with me feeding my folks, we're almost done with it less than a week later, so it's been an easy cooking week and I'll take it. I did make 7 layer dip. I could make that in my sleep. I doubled that so we still have some left, but no one is complaining. I sent some with Tank and Reg on a little adventure they're on currently.
Well poop. I am reading through your comment responses and see that the test did not come back favorably. I am so sorry. My Mom finally went for her first colonoscopy only a few years ago (she is 70) and I am so glad that she finally did. I am a "like to know" person, whereas she is a "if I don't know, it ain't there" kind of person. Sigh. Better to know, even if it's bad, I always say. However, it does not make the bad news any easier. I hope that they can remove it right away!
ReplyDeleteKyria - Nice choice of words there. Ha. Yeah, it's cancer. Hoping the surgeon comes up with a good plan tomorrow when my dad goes for his appointment. It's great that the pathology came back so fast and that the surgeon had a cancellation. Let's do this!
DeleteNo one ever said "if I don't know, then it ain't there" did they? C'mon, that's not the best approach to the things that might be going wrong on the insides. My dad is really good about seeing his doc because of his CLL (leukemia) so I do think it's odd that that doc didn't suggest a colonoscopy before now. It's been decades, I believe. Ugh.
What a (surprisingly!) lovely experience to share with your dad. I'm so sorry about the tumor. Thinking of you and your dad. xxoo
ReplyDeleteSuzanne - Ha. Good point. He needs to do similar prep before the surgery when they remove the tumor, and he has already requested my assistance. Thank you. Much appreciated.
DeleteThat's bad news, but I'm adding your Dad to my prayers, and maybe there will be a good and easy solution? My dad had prostate cancer and had it removed and it now feels like just a blip in time. Our parents are the same ages-ish and it certainly keeps life full and flavorful dealing with kids and parents at the same time. Big family life has been a good preparation!
ReplyDeleteColleen - Thank you for adding him to your prayer list. He has met with a surgeon, but Ann wants to meet one more. Yes, it is hectic to have aging parents at the same time as active kids. I'm hoping his issue is one day just a blip too.
DeleteI did not feel like laughing during my colonoscopy prep or after it, either. I am not sure how you pulled that off!
ReplyDeleteEngie - Ha. that's funny. I can't explain it. My dad is easily amused at the moment. Maybe call me next time you need to do the prep and I'll let you know if I'm available.
DeleteOh no, I'm so sorry the results were bad news, but I agree with you that it is better to know. You are a wonder woman though, I can't believe how much you do and how well you care for the people around you.
ReplyDeleteMelissa - Yeah, knowing is better. I'm hoping that the surgery solves the problem. Thank you for the kind words. You are too kind.
Delete