December 5, 2022

concert going & evidence of the aging process

Mom's recent downward spiral has drawn my attention to the inevitable. Our time  is limited. Certainly not new information, but it has sort of smacked me upside the head in the last few months. There've been signs, but I think I was often turning a (wrinkled) cheek. Kidding, my cheeks aren't wrinkled . . . yet.  

Concert:  On New Year's Eve '21 (I know, this incident is aging right along with me), Coach's sister Lana invited Coach and I to a concert. We were thrilled to be invited to do something. She said they had tickets to see the BoDeans. 

Coach:  We love the BoDeans, but we're gonna take a pass.

Lana:  Oh, is it the company then? You don't want to hang with us. 

Lana is a hoot. She and her hubby live near O'Hare, so about 35 minutes from us. They have 2 kids same ages as Mini and Tank. We took their kids with us to visit Coach's other sister in KC in '20. The daughter was there for the memorable tampon misplacement incident. (one of my fav all time posts) Anyway, we don't get together with them that often - you know how it is, once the kids get busy - you get busy, but when we are together - always a blast.

I called Lana to explain our lameness. We didn't really see ourselves at a concert. Where would we put our coats (winter in Chicago)? We weren't hip on standing all night,


Lana assured us it wasn't that kind of concert. It was in a refurbished theater and everyone had a chair. Coats could be brought in. I looked at Coach and I said, let's do this. 

Our kid teased us endlessly for considering skipping the concert. We decided to go to the concert, and it was very fun. Mostly. 

An hour before we left, I chose to override Coach and allow Reg and Tank to drive to Indiana to Tank's best bud's lake house. This is the lake house where Tank got to know Jay's cousin Jake who was killed in that tragic concert in Texas in the fall, remember? 

Tank had been there a million times. Reg was invited to hang out with Jay's younger brother- a year younger than Reg. They'd played on the HS golf team together, and Reg was our only kid with no plans, so this was perfect. We were managing to have no kid left home alone on NYE. There was supposed to be a snowstorm the next day, and Coach was wigged out about them driving home in bad conditions. They could've driven with Jay, but Coach didn't like that option. 

I finally made Tank agree to wake up and drive home at 9 am, so he would miss the impending noon snowstorm. Done. Coach wasn't on board. He has taken to fussing over weather apps like his aged mother, who in all honesty really needs to be medicated. His parents have missed so many of our kids' events because it might rain and they don't want to drive the 50 minutes in possible rain. Often it doesn't even sprinkle. 

Seriously, it really has become challenging. I'm all for safety, but we can't keep our kids home forever. 

I texted Lana on our way there. We were late and Coach was very upset with me and I wanted her to know that we had a tense thing happening. At one point I suggested to Coach that I just stay home. I was like:  we came up with a compromise. They will miss the snow. Move on

Lana pulled me aside when we got to their house, which wasn't difficult because I was fine leaving enough distance between Coach and I. She was like IS THIS A NEW THING? HIS WORRYING? (like her mother, implied). Lana has kids who drive. She gets it. I told her it's getting progressively worse as we get more and more kids old enough to go places. 

It never snowed. Not one flake. Ever. Tank was furious that they hadn't gotten to hang out with friends for the day, but I pointed out that he got to be there for NYE and that he owed me. I'd taken one for the team. 

The concert was a lot of fun. I love their music. We had their CD back in the day. Lana and husband sat between Coach and I, and as the night went on Coach loosened up. The lead singer offered to go back stage and wait for us to demand an encore, but since he was older - he preferred that we just applaud if we wanted the encore and save him the steps. We got the encore, and he never left the stage. 

16 second clip of BoDeans concert - not great sound as it's from my phone, wait for the couple getting down in the aisle at the end

Looking around during the concert, I was like HANG ON, THESE PEOPLE, OUR FELLOW CONCERT GOERS, ARE ALSO OLD. Hello, captain obvious. There were men with receding hair lines, or bald heads, wearing button down shirts, tucked into their khakis. Energetic wives wearing cardigans and sensible shoes (like me) who were pulling their husbands up out of their seats to dance in place, swinging their arms to the music while holding hands (not me). 

BoDeans - Hold Me Tonight

For days afterwards, I marveled at the fact that while we are not really the concert going type (never really were) - our time as the hip, young demographic has faded. Ouch. 

Were you/are you big concert going people? Favorite concert/last concert you've attended? What makes you feel old? Are you and your spouse often on opposite sides of letting a kid go somewhere? 


Nicole said...

My husband and the boys just went to Offspring a couple of weeks ago. They said it was so much fun. I hadn't really wanted to go but after they came home and told me about it, I kind of wish I had. The last concert I went to was Zac Brown in 2019.

Beth Cotell said...

We were semi-concert people back in our youth. We saw plenty of them but weren't the types that went to every single show that came to town.

In 2019 we went to see Journey and Def Lepard with the kids. It was a lot of fun but everyone there was our age because of the bands. I am assuming if I went to a concert with a current artist it would have been a different story.

And I am always the worry wart when it comes to the kids. My husband never seems concerned about ANYTHING! But I guess it's good to have balance as a couple.

Kara said...

We are very much still concert people. We went to a show last Thursday, and the headline act didn't even take the stage until 10 PM! Was I exhausted all Friday and Saturday because of this weekday late night- yes, 100%. We go to at least one show a month. Sometimes these are big name bands, other times it's new bands playing terribly tiny venues. There is one venue specifically that has slanted floors, and standing on that for a couple of hours gives me back pain for the next week, but I still love it.

It doesn't snow here, so I don't worry about that part of driving. I don't love it that my middle kid drives a huge truck for her part-time gig, but I get that it's part of her job (and she picked up a shift today at 4 AM because they don't have school today). I don't really get stressed otherwise, unless they're going outside of the Valley radius (about 40 miles in any direction). My husband doesn't stress at all. It's annoying.

Colleen said...

Going to a concert feels like something I would plan...and then cancel. Too late, too much noise, too crowded, oh my I am getting old too.

Nance said...

One of the last concerts we went to was in Cleveland at what is now the Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse (where the Cavs play). It was to see Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks. I felt bad for the guy next to us because the couple in front of him stood THE ENTIRE TIME, blocking his view. They refused to sit down. They said, "You can see it on the big screens."

I find concerts annoying because A)the tickets cost an enormous amount; B)idiots like those people attend and impact others' enjoyment; C) the crowd insists upon singing and I didn't pay to hear them sing; D)parking is always a nightmare.

As you can tell, I am now too old for concerts and it's best I stay at home. My younger sister goes to see the Dave Matthews Band all the time, and I think she is One Of Those People. (She also enjoys camping. We are nothing alike.)

Kari said...

I haven't heard the Bodeans in a long time. I barely know one of their songs, so I'm not sure I'd be a good fit for a concert. I'm also not a fan of live music. So I understand why people don't want to attend, and bad weather would certainly push me over the edge. BUT, I was like that in my twenties. 

I've always said I came out of the womb as a little old lady. šŸ¤£

Pat Birnie said...

"Where would we put our coats"???? I am going to join in with your kids at mocking you! However I do agree -- I want to sit, not stand for hours. I remember going to see Fleetwood Mac some years ago and Stevie Nicks commenting on the sea of bald heads. Yup - our demographic.

Whoa, my husband & I always disagreed on parenting -- a big factor was that we were a blended family and it's really really hard to like your own teens, let alone bonus teens. Thankfully we survived (however I would NEVER recommend this) and now everyone likes, loves, respects each other and most of all we have FUN together. Adult kids are the best.

Suzanne said...

YES! Where would you put your coats?!?! That really would bother me so much. I have never liked concerts. Too loud, too many people. Since 9/11 it's a toss up whether I will have a panic attack during a concert which saps the little joy I take from them. My favorite concert ever was a Weezer concert I attended in college. So fun!

Charlie said...

Loved this post Ernie and can totally relate. We were massive concert goers back in the day, Michael Jackson, Destiny’s Child, Prince (in Paris with the Prince fan club!) to name a few. The beginning of the end came when I’d make us leave a few songs before the end, so getting out of the car park didn’t us take too long…… The whole idea of it now - well I just couldn’t be bothered, what a load of effort :)

I am just like your husband though with worrying about family, weather and driving. My husband is really laid back about it, and I wish I was more like him. Maybe I need to get my groove on at a concert & let loose a little!

Ernie said...

Nicole - I hadn't been to a concert if FOREVER. This one was so much fun. Glad we went. Glad their were seats. Still working on the glad-to-be-old thing. ;)

Ernie said...

Beth - I bet Def Leopard and Journey would be fun. That'd be right up Coach's alley. It would be fun to go to a concert with our kids, so long as it was our music and not theirs. I do tend to like most of their music.

I definitely worry, but once I got Tank to agree to head home before the storm was gonna hit - I thought that was sufficient. There was a storm this summer when Mini got invited to go to a lake house with a friends for July 4th. She agreed to ask the girl driving to pull over it the rain got too bad. Coach was worked up about it again. I feel like if they are traveling with kids who agree to be cautious, then that's all we can do. They can't skip everything. Oh, but I definitely worry. I hate it when the kids call me minutes after they've left. I always assume they've been in an accident.

Ernie said...

Kara - Look at you - quite the concert goer. That sounds unenjoyable to me.

Ah, no snow would definitely make teen driving less of a nailbiting experience.

Ernie said...

Colleen - You are one step ahead of me - I woudln't even plan to go (except this time when we were invited). Based on the responses, I'm gathering that it just isn't for everyone. You and me are in the same boat there.

Ernie said...

Nance - Laughing at the fact that you didn't pay to hear them sing. No, you did not. Imagine all the money Coach and I saved over the years avoiding most concerts. I saw U2 in concert the year I studied abroad. Amazing. I also saw them at Navy Pier with my siblings many moons ago. It is expensive and it is really just not for me. Sitting near rude or annoying or drunk people would interefere with one's enjoyment of it, too.

Ernie said...

Kari - Laughing at you coming out of the womb a little old lady. Bad weather is stressful, but when the kids agree to make some adjustments to their plans - then I think that is all we can do. It once POURED at a Hootie and the Blowfish concert that was outdoors. So not fun. It was more like torture.

Ernie said...

Pat - Mock away. We embrace our goofiness. I do NOT like to be cold. I remember the years when we would go to the bars and no one would bring a coat. I can't do that anymore. It gets COLD in Chicago. Yes, I want to have the option to sit. Although, sitting too long hurts me too. I'm a complicated being. I don't know why I expected to see young, hip people at this concert. I was stunned by the bald heads and the pressed khakis. I guess I thought the rest of my demographic was stuck in a time capsule and only Coach and I had aged - until I got there.

I can only imagine how hard it was to parent teens when you were blending your families. How wonderful that everyone enjoys one another now. You two must make a good team.

Ernie said...

Suz - Giggle away, my friend. I will let you keep your rocking chair, and I will borrow your SUNSHINE. It was NYE in Chicago - it gets cold up here. I'm kidding. I'm well aware of how old we behave and I'm OK with that. I would appreciate a balmy day now and then during a Chicago winter though.

I'm not all surprised by your answer. 100s. That is mindblowing to me. I just don't get all that into concerts, but maybe I need to try the VIP route.

Tank just told us when we were at a b-ball game at Creighton at this huge venue that hosts concerts, that one of his friends was on a rented scooter (popular thing on college campuses) - missed his turn (while intoxicated) and ended up at the back door of the venue. Knocked on the door and someone let him in and he ended up being backstage during a Bon Jovi concert hanging out with the band. We were dying laughing. Maybe Coach should give that a try.

Usually Coach and I are on the same parenting page - or at least close. If there is some winning over to do, I can usually get that done. This whole weather worrying situation is so over-the-top. Speaking of slipping someone a mickey - maybe I could slip an anti-anxiety pill to my MIL. After all these years, I wonder what she'd be like if she was not anxious.

Ernie said...

Charlie - You were SERIOUS concert going people. Prince in Paris. Stop it. That does sound fun, even to me. I can see how you'd gradually need to leave early to deal with traffic. Then you'd want to store your coat somewhere. Yep - you definitely aged out of the expereince. At least you enjoyed it in your prime. I didn't really enjoy it back then either.

I do worry. When the weather is bad and the kids are out and about, eek. But when a storm has not even started and your kid agrees to leave 10 hours before they want to leave - I think then you accept the compromise and let them go.

Ernie said...

Suzanne - I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I think you either enjoy concerts or you don't. I enjoyed a few back in the day. I once attended some famous jazz guy's concert with a friend while I was living in Ireland. It was this intimate little joint and it was really amazing. He had an extra ticket and asked me at the last minute. That is more my speed - intimate gathering, cool music, fans who aren't obnoxious. I've had a couple of other cool concert expereinces, but most often - not my favorite thing to do.

Oh, in college we saw Indigo Girls and it was awesome.

Jenny in WV said...

I wouldn't call myself a concert goer, but I've been to a few. It's hard to pick a favorite because most of the very good concerts were very different artists. For example, the country band Alabama vs. the Vienna Boys Choir. The Marine Corp Band was also very good.

David Crosby was the most boring concert I'd been to in recent years, Steven Stills (touring with Judy Collins), and Graham Nash were both pretty fun. (No, I haven't seem Neil Young).

Tracy Lawrence was the last "big name" concert I attended in 2019. I went to the local college's steel drum ensemble concert last spring.

I feel old when talking with students/young adults who were born after or have no memory of 9/11.

Ernie said...

Jenny - You have a very diverse concert experience. I admit that many of those names are ones that I do not recognize. I laughed at the boring concert. That's sad - if you've assembled people to hear you play music at the very least find a way to be entertaining.

It is so strange to me when someone is not old enough to remember the 9/11 horror.