(I took yesterday off for Labor Day and I hope all my blog friends in the US enjoyed a relaxing day). Aside from only having Curly, Rae, and Kay home right now . . . we've had some other changes crop up. About a month ago, Coach mentioned that a PT who works for him wanted to start working 5 evenings. It could work, if Coach switched his schedule to 5 mornings.
Hmm.
Coach wasn't sure the regional director would be cool with him, the manager, not in the building in the evenings - like any evenings.
Background: Coach worked four nights a week for YEARS. The kids were tiny. He got home at 9 pm or later. Activities, homework, baths, and dinner were all done before he got home, and I was exhausted.
Then he worked Mon, Wed, Friday late days - which was a step up, because Fridays they closed at 6 pm - so he was only home at 9 pm twice a week. He went in late a few days, but one day a week he worked from like 5 am till 9 pm.
2021: He requested to adjust his schedule when we had Hay and Day (foster boys) living with us (because so much mayhem happened in the evenings when I was solo with the two troubled guys. We're talking ambulances called, me putting kids in take-down holds, the works), and by the time it was approved - we'd waved the white flag and they were no longer living with us. Coach kept those hours and has been coming home between 7 and 8 pm Tu/Th since late 2021. An improvement.
On his late days, Coach starts later in the mornings. He leaves at 7:30 or 8 am. This perk means I can shower or finish working out while he manages the tots and babies, or he can take someone to an early dental appointment, or he can redirect Kay as needed, etc.
On his early days, he leaves the house probably around 5 am (not sure since I'm still sleeping), and he gets home around 3 pm.
Guess what? The regional dude said it was cool, so for the past few weeks Coach has been home for dinner every night. He hasn't been home for dinner every night since he started this job in Jan of '21. It's been almost 25 years. His first job was working with patients at the hospital from 1999-2001.
Now on Tu/Thurs he leaves before 6 am and then finishes work at 4:30 and on M,W,F he goes in cray-cray early still and he's done between 2 and 3. It's the schedule we both wanted when we had really little people. Better late than never.
We're adjusting:
- Coach put the garbage out on the wrong day last week.
- He goes to bed early every night now, not just the nights before he gets up before the butt crack of dawn. (He's never stayed up 'late' like past 10, because he's always playing catch up from those early mornings).
- Right now, I'm flying solo in the mornings, which stinks at times. I can't race up and shower while he mans the troops, or while he greets people, holds a baby when a parent walks in. This was never his fav thing as he could never remember anyone's name and some babies really prefer seeing me at drop off.
Delegating our driving duties: Until the 11th hour, we weren't sure how Rae was getting to her new-to-us Catholic high school. It's 15 minutes away - not a bad drive, but there are only like 120 kids in the entire school so not a ton of carpool options. We found a kid who lives a few minutes away, and we pay him to drive her 4 days a week and I drive her on Fridays when I'm off.
A blurry photo taken while
I was unable to see.
A good change is my daughter's bus schedule is 7:15 am this year, not 6:35. It gives me enough time to get her ready without rushing. The downside is thar one my husband starts his semester, my teen sons have to put her on the bus Wednesdays, as the Jr high and high school start 2 hours later. I am hoping she cooperates with them.
ReplyDeleteThe new routine with work out soon. Hang in there!
mbmom11 - That is a big change and it's a change for the better from the sound of it. Fingers crossed that Wednesdays go smoothly.
DeleteI do think our routine will work out. I laughed when he put the garbage out on the wrong day. I was always amazed how the kids knew what day Coach would be home late - like they were so little, but they got into a rhythm. My fear is we get excited for the new schedule and then work says Wait this isn't working.
That sounds like a major routine disruptor. I hope things start to calm down and the new schedule goes smoothly. Are you wearing one of those eye pads that you microwave? I had to do that for a while when my eyelash glands got clogged (can't remember the medical terminology). Thank goodness the issue resolved itself.
ReplyDeleteBijoux - I think it will be an improvement, but I do feel bad that Coach rarely sleeps in.
DeleteYes! That is exactly what this is. Microwave things for my eyes. I've managed with moisturizing drops the last few days and have bypassed the heated things. It's really inconvenient to be rendered blind in the mornings over here.
You brought back memories to when my parents paid my friend to drive me and my sister to high school (an hour away) and gave her $20 a week for gas money. My dad would actually drive us to a Dunkin Donuts near her house so she didn't have to go out of the way at all. Coach's new schedule would have been sooooo handy back when you had a bunch of littles - you are a superwoman for surviving those years solo!
ReplyDeleteColleen - So worth it, right? We are paying a kid to drive Rae and I hope it's enough, because they didn't give us an amount. And when I think about it - how can we put a price on that? I have to drive her tomorrow because her ride is sick and isn't going to school, so she'll be late. I cannot leave here until I've loaded four babies in my car.
DeleteYes, this schedule would've been great when the kids were really little, but there were days when I got to sleep a bit late after being up with a fussy baby because he'd manage the littles before he left for work. There were some perks here and there, you know? It's weird to think those late nights might be a thing of the past. Fingers crossed.
This is quite a change in your schedule! Hopefully you'll get adjusted to it soon, and it'll feel normal.
ReplyDeleteMichelle - (I cannot comment on your blog until I draft a haiku poem and I want to draft something to read to the girls at their adoption ceremony Monday and I'm not feeling inspired or overly creative at the moment!) It is a big change, and I do think it is for the best - I hope the work place doesn't insist on him changing it back after we get used to it.
DeleteMy husband always worked the PM Swing shift - like 1 PM to 11 PM (but not getting home until midnight or later) Tuesday-Saturday. So he was available in the mornings, but not really coherent. In the pandemic, his job went away, and he transitioned into an entirely new field, and worked from home ALL THE TIME for two years. He now travels for that job, and can be gone 2-3 weeks a month, Monday-Thursday or Friday every week. It's interesting. With the youngest off to college, it's just me and the 22 year old. We go feral when he's not home and don't eat normal meals or things like that.
ReplyDeleteKara - That sounds like a nutty schedule. Not really coherent indeed. Gosh, home all the time, traveling, night shift, - he's really done it all hasn't he? Going ferral is so relatable - when the kids were really little, I'd totally blow off bedtimes and just do fun stuff with them when Coach worked late (until they were school age). When they were tiny, we goofed off a ton. It was the best.
DeleteWhat in the world is on your eyes?? I’m laughing at you trying to take the picture.
ReplyDeleteMike used to be a manager at dealerships, so those hours were ridiculous — and it was when the kids were little. I was essentially raising them alone. Thankfully, in 2020, he got a job where he travels, but his travel hours are flexible. So much better. I hope you get adjusted to the new routine soon.
Kari - I couldn't believe I got myself in that picture. First and only try. I took it to send Coach, so he could have a good laugh at me.
DeleteDealership hours are the pits. Truly. ask me how I know? Poor Lad. I feel like he's missed most of his 20s. Hoping he makes a change soon.
I'm sure we'll adjust - I'll miss the few perks of the old schedule and trust me, there were only a few. "Can you grab that RX before work and drop it off at the high school?" etc.
I only had two kids but whoa, can I ever relate to this post. My husband travelled extensively for work and almost always left in the middle of the night and would get home late in the evening after a week away (jet lagged). His new position still involves travel, but it's much gentler (he almost always leaves/arrives home during the day). And I keep thinking how much I wish he had THIS schedule when the kids were young. But, then again, I'm just glad the switch came eventually and I'm sure you will be too.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry the eyes are still bothering you. Are glasses an option instead of the contacts for a while? I could never wear contacts long term because they all irritated my eyes. Sigh.
Elisabeth - A week away with jet lag - yikes. That sounds really challenging. We made it work, but I've often thought about how weird it was for our kids to grow up with Coach so rarely available during the week. I almost think having so many kids was easier than having two - my kids were a pack and did everything together. There were disputes, but they mostly always felt like they had a friend over. At least that's my perspective.
DeleteGlasses? Bah hum bug. I'm fighting the good fight over here (of the dumb fight). My glasses are only for distance and I cannot read when I wear them and I can easily get a pair that does everything, but I hate wearing glasses - can't workout in them and I really dislike them, so I'm trying a few other last resorts. Yes, I'm gonna die on this hill. As silly as this is.
Oh no - your poor eyes! That does not look good!
ReplyDeleteThat is a big shift but hopefully a good one overall, although maybe too late for it to really help as you have fewer kids in the house and probably less activities? But I think Curly is a senior this year so he'll be able to see more of her games I would think?
My husband I work in the same industry so we have the exact same hours typically. We carpool when I go into the office (about 3x's/week). We leave the house around 7, drop the boys off, and usually to work around 7:40. Then we leave around 4:20ish, pick up the boys, and get home around 5-5:15. It's not bad overall! I end up working longer hours when I WFH since I don't have daycare pick-up to work around. But it's nice that we are pretty much always home together with the kids - except when I travel and he keeps the circus running on his own.
Lisa - My eyes are technically fine, so long as the Sahara Desert is considered fine. Dry - so dry. My contacts keep ripping while I'm wearing them. It's beyond frustrating. I'm drying this heated thing and then drops all day long.
DeleteYou are so right - he gets to see more of her games. I would've quit my job if I couldn't see my kids' games. I rarely missed one - except for the years that both Reg and Curly played varsity b-ball because boys were home a lot of time when the girls were away. She played varsity since Freshman year and Reg since soph year, so lots of overlap. It is a big shift, but I think it will be so nice to have him home for dinner and for the extracurriculars. The perks for him being home a little in the mornings weren't the greatest perks anyway. He usually wanted to go workout before work, so even when he was home - he was often trying to rush off.
It does sound nice that you both work similar hours and that you can even carpool. The circus ring master job - well, I've been there. There are stories. Maybe he should write a blog? ha, I know you said he's so private. I do wish I'd done a better job or recording all the mischief back in the day. It's funny now. Hell, it was often funny then - so long as the kids couldn't hear me laughing.
That's quite a change to the daily routine. Hopefully you'll adjust quickly!
ReplyDeleteCindy - I think forgetting what day it is to take the garbage out might be the biggest set back thus far and it should be all easy street from here on out.
DeleteGood luck with the changes. It sounds like there are some pros in amongst the really big cons. I don’t love change but usually find it works out in the end. I’m sure some of his regular evening patients will not be happy!
ReplyDeletePat - I do think overall it will be a great change, but it's just a little tough on me in the morning, but I think the Dad at home in the evenings far outweighs my mornings being a bit 'off.' yes, I'm worried about the patients who insist on seeing him. They honestly come from far and wide. Now, if only he could fix my back. ;)
DeleteSo many arrangements and changes. I love a set routine, and when anything disrupts it, I have a hard time adapting. On the outside, I come across as very gracious and just fine, but inwardly, I'm a mess.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with all of the disruption. It sounds like it should be beneficial once things settle in.
Nance - I'm pretty good at rolling with changes and I do think in the long run this one will be great. It's just a little weird at the moment. For ex: Rae's carpool kid cancelled for tomorrow morning, because he's sick. I have to wait till all my babies are dropped off and then I will drive her and she'll get there late. It cannot be helped. I'll have to skip my workout - or maybe hop on the bike? Rae thought I was gonna drop her off and let her get in trouble for being late. Funny how some things that seem so obvious need to be explained to them still. "No, I will call and it will be excused because this is a thing that happened and we're doing the best we can." Beneficial once things settle in - I agree. I would like Coach to get more sleep though.
DeleteAt least you are coming across as very gracious on the outside. :)
Oh no, you are still having trouble with your eyes? I am sorry to hear that! I hope that it gets resolved soon. Maybe by the time you read this, it already has been (fingers crossed!)
ReplyDeleteMy friend has two kids and it is inevitable that both of them have practice not exactly at the same time and definitely not at the same field, so I used to go and just chauffer kids around, because she couldn't be two places at once. I don't know how you do it.
Kyria - You know what I'm not having trouble with? MY BLOG COMMENTS - look at this! Thanks for the tip - it only took 10 seconds. So simple, how did I not figure this out? When I look at my comments, it looks embedded on my end, so I thought that was it - that there was no way to fix it. Now, if you could just go to the grocery store with me and help me fiddle with the damn app.
DeleteI'm using the heating thing and moisture drops and that seems to help. My contacts were literally ripping in my eyes - sometimes as fast as 6 minutes after I inserted them. What a total drag. It's been decent the last few days. I just have to remember to use the drops during the day.
Where were you when I was leaving young children unattended at baseball fields while I raced off with some of the kids in the opposite direction for their games? I needed a friend who would shuttle my gang around.
I am sure I could help you with the app! I was having trouble once and the checker at the grocery store told me that every Wednesday (or whatever day they put out the coupons) she gives her phone to her daughter and tells her daughter to select ALL of the coupons for that week; that way when she goes to the store she does not have to try to find them! :) Seems like a good project for Kay or Rae!
DeleteOh goodness, that’s a lot of change, but hopefully it will be good. Your eyes…uh oh.
ReplyDeleteJulie - It's a big change and I do think that the things that I like about having him home in the morning are insignificant in comparison to having him home in the evenings. Of course the kid who drives Rae is sick and she will be late tomorrow because I have to wait till all the tots are here before I load them all in the car and drive her. My eyes are fine - dry as a desert, but fine. I'm fighting the good fight in order to be able to wear my contact lenses.
DeleteChange is hard, but I think this will be a good one. It's so much better to have them round for dinner, I think it is better quality time, than the mornings. G used to always leave for work before the kids and I got up in the mornings because he wanted to avoid the morning crazies, so I always did mornings myself. Since the pandemic he is working from home and only does a couple of overseas trips a year (instead of being away for about a total of 3-4 months of every year), which would have been a much better schedule when the kids were younger. Although I don't think he would have made the choice to work from home when the kids were younger.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good change overall although that is an EARLY start to the day! But definitely worth it to have him around more in the evenings. And I hope everything gets better with your eyes soon. I read some of the comments above about glasses and I feel *exactly* the same way. Before I had contacts, I could barely get through my shower (had to hold the shampoo/conditioner bottles right up to my face to tell them apart and forget about shaving with any type of accuracy), and same with working out! I asked about LASIK and my corneas are already too thin so my only option would be PRK. For now I just keep praying to the contact gods that I don't have any major problems with them (but I've worn them for 25 years already so at some point my eyes are probably going to rebel).
ReplyDeleteAdjustments abound. Sounds like there is NOT perfect schedule for your Coach to be away from home, but someone has to bring home the money and health insurance. (not that you don't earn $$ yourself!) I don't know how you did it all those years, wrangling small children yourself at night; dinner, baths, bedtime. You are a super hero!
ReplyDeleteMy husband wouldn't be able to tell you what day our garbage/recycling is picked up as that has been my duty for the last 28 years. I never really thought about that....
I don't blame Coach for hitting the hay early, or at least by 10pm.
Oh, I have one of those eye patch things that you heat up. I used it when I struggled with dry eye after my lasik surgery. I hope you are finding some relief.
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