same old, same old & Mr. Green Pepper off the hook

Update in case you didn't see comments on my last post:  I think a protein ball that I ate had gluten in it. I saw 2 small protein balls in a little container from the cafe at the health club. I thought Coach brought them home for me. His work is connected to the club and if he brought them home then he would've been confident I could eat them. He's very careful. I ate them and texted him a thank you. 

Coach:  Not me. 

Huh. Then I realized Lad put them there. Lad typically eats our food. Bringing food to us? Not a thing. He left them in the fridge to eat a little later and forgot they were there. 

They should've been GF, but there were rolled oats in there and I can't eat rolled oats unless they are special, GF rolled oats. I happened to see the doc the next day and she did blood work. Now, because I can see my labs freaky fast, I haven't heard yet from my doc. I suspect that when the number that's a marker for whether or not I'm getting gluten in my diet says 'high', that's not a good thing. Call me crazy. 

I've eaten a few bites of green pepper and black beans over the weekend and I've lived to tell about it. No issues. 

Oh, the downer Debbie news? The doc told me that I'll probably have SIBO for the rest of my life. She said we can keep treating it with antibiotics, but that it'll probably keep coming back because of celiac. Not gonna lie. That sucked the wind out of me. There are worse things though. 

Onto my regularly scheduled post.

*************

When Curly's team won sectionals on Thursday the 22nd, I called my folks on my drive home from the city. I was PUMPED. I told my dad:  "Clear your calendar. Curly's playing in the super-sectional game Monday night at home." 

My parents don't usually go to away games and they live really close to me, so I often take them to games in our home gym. It was freakish luck that our school happened to be hosting the super-sectional game.

Bit of background:  When Mini was a junior the high school team won 2 games. All season. So, a winning season let alone a regional, a sectional and a trip downstate - unthinkable. 

On Monday, I asked Mini to call my parents to see if they wanted to go to the game early with me, or later with Coach. I was getting there early to get good seats. Remember Mini came home with us on Sunday after parents' weekend. The lawyer needed me to write up how the situation had impacted Reg, and I was busy editing that.

While I was throwing dinner on the table and discussing things to add to the statement for the lawyer, I asked Mini:  So? Am I picking them up or is Dad? 

Mini:  Nana sounded confused. Da was in the background saying they weren't going to that game. 

What? I called and spoke to my father, thinking he was confused.

Me:  Dad, the game is at South. Are you coming? 

Dad:  I'm not going to that game I'm going to the game at Central, not South. 

Me:  What? The game is AT south. What is happening at Central?

Dad:  Naz girls are playing at Central and I wanna see that game.

Me:  What? Is Fidelma playing? (my freshman niece who is on a JV team at Naz that my brother, Pat, her dad, coaches).

Dad:  No. Pat is coaching. I want to go watch that game.

Me:  (feeling like someone sucker punched me in the gut) Pat is a JV coach. Varsity is playing. He'll be sitting on the bench with the coaches, but you want to go to his game instead of Curly's game? If Curly wins, she goes to state, in the final four. Do you get that? What about Mom?

Dad:  Yeah, I get that. Mom's coming with me. *My mom 100% didn't understand that she'd be missing Curly's game. She gets confused and while she knows our faces and our names, mostly, situations and competing scenarios throw her off. 

Me:  Dad, just so you know, I find this very upsetting and I'm having a hard time understanding how you could skip Curly's game. Mom doesn't understand that she'll miss Curly's game. You don't have a grandchild playing in that game. Curly IS PLAYING. 

Dad:  Yeah. OK. I'm going to Pat's game. 

I wanted to scream BUT PAT IS NOT PLAYING IN A GAME. 

Coach's parents sent Curly
 these balloons to
 congratulate her on 4th in state, which
 was very sweet. They winter in SC,
 but watched games online.

I hung up and texted Pat, asking him if he knew Dad's plan. Pat texted back that he'd seen him the day before and tried to explain to him. He wasn't sure Dad understood the magnitude of Curly's game. And that Mom was just deferring to dad. 

Me:  Same old, same old. 

Pat:  What's 'same old'? I can text him after my pregame meeting in a few minutes.

Does the favorite kid really NOT get the favoritism? 

Mini and Coach urged me to blow it off and get to Curly's game. Mini pointed out that it isn't Pat's fault. I never said it was. As Mini and I hopped in the car, my dad called, We're coming to Curly's game. I told him Coach would pick him up. 

After the crazy exciting game, a game that Curly played amazing in, a game in which she played almost every minute of, rarely sitting, Mini and I were crying, hugging everyone, and taking pictures. I took a pic of my folks with Curly, and I told my dad:                                                              You almost missed this. 

And maybe if he didn't care, I should've let him miss it. 

It's been years since I lived under my parents' roof, since they gushed about everything Pat did, even when I was doing similar stuff. 

Exhibit A:  When I was a senior in high school, I was babysitting a few doors away on a school night. My mom called to let me know that a nun, who taught at my school, had called the house to speak to me. She'd be calling me at the babysitting house. Hmm, OK.

Sr. Mary:  The Kairos retreat team met tonight. We've been praying about students to lead the next retreat. Your name came up. Don't decide right away, but pray about it and come to the chapel in the morning. 

When I got home and told Mom, she rolled her eyes. "Great. One more thing to keep you busy and away from your studies. Do you really think your grades are good enough to get into college? How will you have time for this?"

I ended up being the assistant director of the retreat team, my best friend, Fozzy, was the director. It was one of the most meaningful, and fulfilling experiences of my young life. 

Oh, by the way - I was an A/B student with the occasional C mixed in. I was a good kid. I studied, had really nice friends, babysat and saved every dime I made for college. My parents' expectations were unrealistic. I see that now, but the things they said and the constant disappointment was hard. I could've rebelled and ended up going down a completely different path. My mom was in the convent for awhile. She was almost a nun. I can only surmise that something in her adult life was frustrating her and I was an easy target. Whatever the deal was, it sucked.

Fast forward to the next year. Fall of my freshman year of college, Mom called me in my dorm room. She was over the moon excited. "Pat has been asked to be a leader on the next Kairos retreat. Such an honor! It's such a good role for him. The teachers know what a leader he is."

Me:  Oh, yeah? Great. I remember when I was asked to do the same thing last year, Mom. Talk to you later. I gotta go. 

Pat may not have known about that phone call, but there were plenty of times when he witnessed the favoritism. Maybe he didn't know. Ed was favored by the water polo coach in high school. He recognized it and he hated it. He saw how the coach treated him vs how she treated other kids. It made him cringe. 

It drives me nuts that I'm an adult and this stuff still happens. Some things will never change.