August 10, 2023

a day shy of 27 yrs of wedded bliss: key fob hell, sleep deprivation, & writing goals

I'm having a DAY. 

Awake early Wed. Even earlier Tuesday. I slept very little in Michigan over the weekend. I forgot to pack my morning antacid prescription. I wonder if that was my problem. If I had to guess, I'd say my insides weren't happy that I was drinking some alcohol while also freebasing Miralax. Who knows anymore? 

Anyway, I'm tired. 

This morning (Wednesday, the 9th - the day before our  AUG 10TH 27th anniversary), I hoped to fall back to sleep while reading my book:  'It’s Ok to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too)' by Nora McInerny Purmort. This as a heartbreaking memoir. I didn't fall back to sleep, but I finished the book. 

I enjoyed Nora's writing style. It felt like we were sitting around, and she was telling me stories. This is how I want to write my book, but it isn't happening, which ticks me off. I laid in bed thinking about how I could embrace a similar off-the-cuff, stream of consciousness style. I drafted some content in my brain, envisioning the shift I'd soon see on my computer screen. I hopped out of bed around 6 am, ready to dive in. 

I worked out first. Of course. 

Then at 7:30 I drove Curly to volleyball practice. 

Then at 9, Tank and I drove to where Ed parks his car at the train station to pick up 'Tex'. Ed was going to a concert downtown after work to see Nathanial Radcliffe. Fun! Oh, to be young and work in the city and have plans. Cars can't be parked in the lot past commute hours. Plus, how could we get through a day without 4 cars?

Weeks ago, I asked Coach where the 2nd FOB was for Tex.

Coach:  In my drawer.


No, he did not. 

Ed called from the lot before hopping on his train. He wanted to know if he should leave the FOB in the car. I told him that we had the extra FOB, per Dad, so we were good. I was driving when I took his call, of  course - so I couldn't look in said drawer at the dismantled battery-less FOB.

You get what happened, right? Epic fail. 

I had to drive Tank to Coach's work to take Coach's car because Tex was not cooperating and Coach is in a timeout and he'll have to sit and think about his communication skills when he is done with work on this, his early day, because he now has no car and I have no more energy to drive BACK to where Tex is stranded near the train 12 minutes from my home. 

When Tank and I drove away from Tex in the minivan because I now had to take Tank to Coach's work to steal Coach's car, steam was still coming out of my ears (and bad words were managing to stay inside my mouth), when we got the longest freight train EVER. 

I came home from THAT and had to leave almost right away to get Curly at 10. I sat down to write for the 4 minutes that I had, trying to capitalize on my new energized writing vision, but instead I ordered a battery for the FOB at Target, requesting  store pickup. 

Then I dropped the 2 girls off to caddy. Tank was coming straight to caddy from his therapy appointment, so three caddies would have one car at the course. Reg was still golfing with the high school golf team. He had the kid car. 

I think that Reg sometimes forgets that he's not an only child, because he could've EASILY gotten a ride with a golf team kid today vs taking a car to a local public golf course where it would then sit for 5 hours. I will address this oversight tonight. 

After I dropped the girls at the course, I got an email from Target. My item was ready for pickup. Even though I've vowed to delegate grocery shopping, I grabbed groceries while at Target, because this is what one does when there is no bread or milk in the house.

At Target, a guy finally appeared, took my order number, and disappeared for over 5 minutes. 

I feel confident that I could've searched the shelves high and low and unearthed the CR 2450 battery that I needed for the FOB in less time than it took the guy to go fetch my item from the back of the store. I politely questioned the process. 

I will soon circle back to the art museum tale.
 This is something I kept from my Uncle's
 Texas home. Isn't she cute? The two side
 guys are candle holders. Anyone know
 the purpose of this lady though? Is it used to
 keep food warm (see photo below)?
Was this a one-time glitch? Nope, it's just done this way. It became part of the day's betrayal. I won't be requesting that 'service' again. 


Reg called around the time I abandoned my cart for a moment to grab a deodorant. When I came back a woman was putting her things in my cart, because she was regretting not opting for a cart near the entrance. I fought her off bravely. Kidding. Considering my level of frustration at this point, it's a small miracle there was no bloodshed. But I assure you, I was polite. 

Reg planned to caddy after he ingested 1,500 calories for lunch. 

Me:  DRIVE TO DAD'S WORK. (Coach works across a very busy highway from the backside of the golf course, so a 2.5 minute drive). HAVE DAD, OR ONE OF HIS EMPOLYEES, DROP YOU OFF AT THE COURSE, SO THAT HE'LL HAVE YOUR CAR. 

The sticker on the bottom says West Germany.
FedEx chipped the bottom plate, but I glued it. 

I got home before Reg drove off (see:  1,500 calorie lunch) and I gave him the battery to give to Coach (which he forgot to do).

Mini and Reg didn't get loops, so they fetched Tex and then Mini had to go back and pick up the two caddies who were left without a car. Are you following this? Mini didn't grasp the church lot thing -  circled the train station lot. The battery package requires a scissors, so small children don't open the package and eat the battery. I'd instructed them to have Coach deal with it, but alas. It took them 15 minutes to open it in the lot sans scissors.

Here I am, at my computer ready to write. It's not happening the way I'd envisioned it this morning. I've been TRYING to write shorter posts. Exceptions to every rule. If you're still with me, please comment. Comments are, after all, like tiny gifts to a person trying to find her writing groove, wishing for more sleep, and apparently unable to wrap this day up with an adult beverage. 

Oh, and coleslaw leftovers from our Michigan trip dumped out of the fridge as I put away groceries. My SIL brought the slaw. I always thought coleslaw was just a gross side dish that no one ever ate. Do you like slaw? 

Also, I've now read all the books on our book club list. If you have a favorite title, please share here. My current preference is memoir. 


mbmom11 said...

Oh, what a day! You have my sympathy, because life would be so much easier if people would think!
And complete empathy about the train- I drive around in my town on routes planned to avoid all train tracks where possible. Nothing like getting stuck at a crossing (unless it's the bonus round where a second train comes before the gate clears and you're stuck for another 5 min).
Memoirs- I tend to read depressing medical ones- When breath become air by kalanithi.
In Love by bloom. Although I do not in any way agreed with what choices were made, her writing was so compelling.

ccr in MA said...

My goodness, what a DAY indeed! You survived it, yay you.

I don't read a lot of nonfiction but I recently enjoyed House Lessons: Renovating a Life by Erica Bauermeister. It's partly about the literal house reno, but also a lot about her life as they were doing it. She's a good writer; I enjoyed No Two Persons very much as well, but that's fiction.

Ernie said...

mbmom11 - It was a day. Late afternoon things DID settle down and I actually enjoyed some quiet time for a few hours, thus this post. Then Mini and Curly and I went to see the Barbie movie. It wasn't really calling to me, but off we went. I also tried to book a flight for Tank's fall break and an hour later he looked at his email and realized I booked it in reverse. I had him flying from Chicago to Omaha vs from Omaha to Chicago. I was able to cancel it. Maybe I should've just stayed in bed all day and thought about writing.

Nance said...

Your lady might be a butter bell--a dish for butter to keep it spreadable.

I hate those kinds of days, crammed with arrangements and errands and juggling. They're exhausting. And why are men always so oblivious to details? Infuriating.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever read Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls (her memoir is The Glass Castle). It is a novel based on her grandmother's life and one of my favorite books ever.

Ally Bean said...

I think nance might be right, that is a butter bell-- or as in your case a belle.

I like slaw, very much.

Have you read the memoir Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson, the Bloggess? It's been out for years, but considering Jenny is the Patron Saint of Personal Blogging it's interesting to read. She's funny and authentic and delightfully weird.

Busy Bee Suz said...

That is a day from hell. Did you fall asleep before your head hit the pillow?
Happy anniversary to you both; I think year 27 is small, hard-to-open package batteries.

I do like slaw. I mean, not from the floor....

I also think that is a butter bell. She's super cute!!

Life of a Doctor's Wife said...

I just listened to the Molly Shannon memoir, which was very good.

Nicole said...

Oooh I liked the Molly Shannon memoir too!
Ugh, what a day you had!

Bijoux said...

First, we inherited one of those dishes from my in-laws who always said it was a butter dish! I always thought it seemed big for that use.
I’ve freaked out over dead battery key fobs, so now I keep a supply of the batteries.
I’m intrigued by you saying, “a scissors” as I’ve never seen anyone put an a in front, even though technically, scissors are singular. Is that regional thing? LOL!

I recommend the Molly Shannon memoir, too!

Kari said...

I love those little ladies on your counter! If they are a butter bell, that is pretty cool. I've always wanted one of those.

I love cole slaw. I really love it on sandwiches. I didn't love it like that until I reached middle age.

Pat Birnie said...

Oh my lord what a day. I’m fairly certain you contemplated murder a couple of times (coach & and the one who thinks he’s an only child!). You are a patient person. I have read and enjoyed so many memoirs. Flat Broke and Two Goats by Jennifer McGaha is really good and entertaining. Not a celeb memoir....she & her husband are “flat broke” and end up moving to a cabin in the Appalachians. Great story!

Kara said...

I just finished Search: A Novel by Michelle Huneven. I can't say enough things about it. It was great. It's about a UU Church's year long search to find a new minister. There's tons about food in it. It's a delightful book. I'm sending my Mom a copy.

I hate coleslaw, because I hate mayo.

Our white car's key fob is dead. My youngest drives that car to school. She has to suffer the indignity of having to unlock the door WITH THE KEY. Oh the HUMANITY. We'll get her a new battery at some point. Luckily the car is old enough that the fob is really only for locking and unlocking the doors.

Ernie said...

ccr - I felt like I was treading water all day and getting no where.

I started reading the book you suggested. I'm only a few pages in, but she talks about her favorite book as a child and WE SHARE THE SAME FAV CHILDHOOD BOOK, called The Little House by Virginia Lee Burton.

Ernie said...

Nance - A butter bell. Interesting. That makes sense. I thought she kept a plate of food warm, but it would have to be for someone with a TINY appetite.

It was a nutty day, which I'm OK with so long as I feel accomplished. This was just me chasing my tail. Yes- why are details and men so difficult?

Ernie said...

Anonymous - Yes - I LOVE that book. I love all of Jeanette's books, but that one is one of my favs too.

Ernie said...

Ally - I am glad I asked my informed readers, because I think you are right.

I found the coleslaw tasty, but it had almost no dressing or mayo on it. It was very crunchy, so maybe that was not the norm.

I checked out Jenny's book. Good idea. I have not read it yet and I do find her very funny and authentic. I started with House Lessons, but I have 3 memoirs in a little pile now.

Ernie said...

Suz - I think my butter bell is super cute too. I was bummed that the movers chipped her but it isn't visible when she is up on a shelf. Not sure I'll ever use her for her intended purpose.

I died laughing at 27 years is small, hard to open battery packages. I hadn't heard that, but it makes perfect sense.

I went to see the Barbie movie and I fell asleep there. ;)

Ernie said...

Suzanne - I ended up checking out the audio book of the Molly Shannon book. I listened to some of it on the drive out to drop Tank at college. Wow - I had no idea about her life. Unreal.

Ernie said...

Nicole - I forget at times that I can listen to a book when I have a long drive to do. I'm so glad you guys have recommended the Molly Shannon book. I checked out a hard copy of House Lessons, and an audio book of Molly Shannon. Her story is so tragic and hard to imagine.

Bibliomama said...

What does "Reg and Mini didn't get loops" mean? Do they have to show up to work and then maybe not get work? Because that seems crappy.
Angus told Matt the Rav was saying 'key battery low' just before he went back to NY. Matt said "oh, really?" and then looked at my face and said hastily "mom already told me that". Husbands, whyyyyy.
I only like my friend's green apple slaw with limey dressing, not the creamy kind, bleah.
Recent memoir favourites are: Run Towards the Danger by Sarah Polley (Canadian actress and director), I'll Show Myself Out: Essays on Midlife and Motherhood by Jessi Klein, and Emily Rapp's memoirs (don't read them all at once and don't read them at all if you're in a depressive episode, they are beautifully written and also very very sad).

Ernie said...

Bijoux - I agree, my navy lady seems a tad big for butter. I doubt I'll use her to store butter - because she looks so cute up on that shelf in my kitchen.

I have no idea about 'a' scissors. Am I the only one that does this? I feel like it was something we said as kids to shorten the phrase 'get me a pair of scissors'.

I am engrossed in Molly Shannon's memoir - listening to that on the drive is great, especially since she is the one reading it. She has such expression.

If you are gonna carry battery replacments for FOBs, I suggest keep a PAIR of scissors in your glove box.

Ernie said...

Kari - It is a cute little lady - all the way from West Germany.

I guess I'm not the only one who missed the coleslaw boat as a kid. The one my SIL made had almost no dressing or mayo on it, so not sure this would've been your favorite version.

Ernie said...

Pat - If you saw me melting down and stomping around all day, you would not call me a patient person. I did manage to resist murder, so there's that.

That sounds like a good book. I will add it to my list.

Ernie said...

Kara - First off, I think you might have liked this coldslaw because it had no mayo on it. It tasted like a salda that was shredded -no dressing. Odd, I thought.

You remind me= the FOB had an emergency key in it but neither Tank nor I could get it to work in the lock that was UNDER the car handle. No idea how it is supposed to work. There must be a way, but we were clueless and we tried everything.

Now I must read this book, since you liked it that much.

Ernie said...

Ali - Yes, a loop is what a caddy calls a round of golf - so a golfer is a loop. There are good loops and crappy loops. Crappy loops might be a guy who doesn't bother to learn your name or is ultra boring and doesn't converse, or one who is a terrible tipper. They didb't get loops because there wasn't enough play. Tank make 80 and Curly made 50 - both incredibly low pay for their level, so I think Mini and Reg were thrilled that they didh't spend 4 hours working to be paid like that. Sometimes caddies get there and there is a list and they get out based on a few things like seniority and requests, etc. Not getting a loop is part of the deal. This is why they wake up insanely early, to get there and be sure to get a loop. During the week play doesn't usually happen so early so they get there at 11 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for example.

Oh, these books sound great. Thanks for the suggestions.

I suppose FOBs make life easier, but I think they've only complicated things. They are easy to lose and easy to forget because they work when they are in a pocket, so it is easy to forget that it is necessary. In my mind they should be the same as keys, but in our house at least - they get misplaced a ton.