Lad moved out . . . recently. WITH FINN. Yes, that is a happy-shouting font. We were never set up to house a dog and it really wasn't working for us. I do love dogs, but they need to live with someone else.
Hard to pinpoint a date that he left, since he still has 'stuff' here, like a gi-normous dog kennel in the basement on the Irish dancing stage. And he breezes in and out when the spirit, or his appetite, moves him. Last week, he came here after a morning workout. Decided to make eggs. Dropped a raw egg on the floor. Cleaned it up, half ass. Ate his cooked eggs. Left the pan near the sink. And disappeared out the door.Lad turned 25 on June 25th.
The move out was a long time coming, but it was a little emotional for me. At times. He's lived with us, for the most part, for 25 years. Is he easy to live with? Nope. Did we sort of force the inevitable? Yes, we sure did.
In late winter, Lad expressed interest in shopping for a place to buy. Coach and I were not on the same page as Lad. Shock. He was thinking house and we were thinking condo. He wants a yard for the dog. We know what he can afford, he thinks he knows what he can afford. Big difference.
One day I arranged for Lad and I to look at a few places. The 'many lakes' condos, where Coach and I want him to live, occasionally have something pop up. By the time I share these listing with Lad, the places are usually contingent. Gone. Unavailable. This market is killing me.
Our wonderful realtor, myself, and Lad planned to look at a many lakes condo, followed by a few houses to appease Lad.
The condo area we favor is about 2o or 25 minutes from where we live in the suburbs. It's centrally located, so jobs in the north or south suburbs would still work if he changed jobs. The development is chock full of young people. There are multiple sand volleyball courts. Wooded trails. A ski slope. It has its own convenient store and bar. There are a four lakes, and folks can rent canoes and kayaks - Lad already owns two kayaks, which add a lovely 'they-need-a-shed' look to our yard. *our neighborhood doesn't allow sheds.* Lad never asked if he could store them here, but he tosses them behind, or near, our bushes and thinks everything is A-OK.
Let's hope constant eye-rolling doesn't lead to blindness, because I might need to start studying braille.
I don't even remember what prompted our dispute, but as Lad and I drove home after looking at 3 out-of-price-range houses . . . two of which were begging to be knocked down and given a fresh start - words were spoken. I think the issue was me urging him to organize his stuff. I was willing to help. He likes to label me controlling, but trust me - his room looked like an application to star in hoarders-are-us. Controlling? Or am I a mom offering to help a disorganized son get his ACT TOGETHER?
Let's remember that we've allowed him to live with us despite terrible habits and a DOG. I have control over nothing.
* the condo we planned to see was no longer available. I really wanted him to at least go to the area and check it out. The complex has ONE building that allows big dogs, because finding a place that'll take a dog over 50 lbs is near impossible.
I'd had enough. When I gave up nap time and pulled Curly out of school to babysit so we could look at places and he continued to be unrealistic and snippy with me, I told him to get out by the weekend. He called Coach asking if that was legit. Coach told me I was being harsh. I disagreed. "Just letting go of the small piece of rope I've been clinging to. I can't do it anymore."
Get excited about a future post where I share the stuff Finn ruined while living here.
We allowed Lad to continue to live with us so long as he agreed to see a doctor for ADD meds. Aunt Leprechaun shared with me in January that she felt Lad really only needed ADD meds. So simple? Except getting him to agree was another story.
He claimed to have made the appointment at the doc Leprechaun suggested. The day of the appointment, I called him. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lad: SHOPPING AT NORDSTROM RACK. WHY?
Oops. He'd forgotten that he'd lied about an appointment. I knew he wasn't there, because I'd called the doctor's office to request that they have him sign a HIPPA release thingy while he was there for his appointment. They were like WHO? HE'S NOT A PATIENT HERE.
I guess HIPPA doesn't apply if you aren't actually a patient. BUSTED.
Coach and I were TICKED. Beyond ticked. We raised the bar. Now, in order to not have his crap thrown out into the yard -he'd have to attend an appointment with a different doctor Leprechaun suggested, turns out the initial doc didn't treat people Lad's age, AND Coach and I would be on the zoom appointment with him.
That actually happened. Shock. Oh, and a few days before the appointment, Lad walked in the house: SO MICHAEL (Lad's work buddy) SAYS HE TAKES ADD MEDS. HE'S LIKE WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST TAKE THE MEDS? YOU'LL GET SO MUCH MORE STUFF DONE. DUDE, YOU'RE A DUMB ASS. I TAKE ADD MEDS. I CALL THEM MY SUPERMAN PILLS.
Poof. Just like that, Lad wanted to take ADD meds. Figured he'd sell more cars. He started digging through my cabinets looking for ADD meds left behind from Tank or Reg, when Reg was misdiagnosed with ADD.
It took another month for Lad to complete the ADD forms for the doctor in order for her to prescribe the medication for him. A MONTH. I printed them. He filled them out, but they didn't send on his phone. Then they didn't send on his ipad. Then he realized he deleted them. I printed them again. He filled them out, and I scanned them into my computer and I sent them in.
A guy in Michael's building typically stays at his girlfriend's place in the city, so he told Lad he'd sublet his condo to him for a mere $400/month - WITH FINN. The apartment is practically across the street from the dealership where Lad works. Lad moved in there mid-June. When I went into his room after he'd mostly moved out, I found that his reptile tanks had leaked. Despite the fact that my grandmother's antique dresser was covered in a glass top, moisture got underneath the glass. Tank's team photos, a 1st communion group photo, and Reg's little drawings that were displayed under the glass were mostly ruined. I spent a good deal of time scrubbing the carpet - reptile dirt? Or something.
|Imagine my surprise when I went in the room and found this mess under the glass. He'd had a few of his MANY aquariums on the dresser. Others were in the closet. Under the bed. In the drawers. On the book shelves.|
It's been an exhausting process. It's our hope and prayer that he sticks with the meds and that they help him function on a day to day basis and that as a result he feels happier.
Lad has a heart of gold and a great sense of humor. He is so loyal and caring. He is bright and hard working.
Here's to starting to thrive now that he's the big 25.
Have you ever known someone who could be a future contestant on Hoarders? How has this housing market impacted you? Sold a property so fast? Can't get a bid in fast enough on something? Ever dealt with a 'tenant' who left a trail of destruction?