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January 4, 2023

sports fan mom overdoing the forward to an aside, sorry, NOT sorry

My kid at a different game. One of Mini's
 old teammates hollered to the girl who
 was guarding Curly:  HEY #3,
YOU CAN'T GUARD HER.
If you've been here before, then you will believe that the below part of this post was initially included in the post that I planned to share today. Um, it was a long ass aside and the post I intended to share was not brief even without the aside. 

I drafted a post, then dashed off with Mini to Curly's b-ball game, knowing I'd have to finish blogging later. 

Curly's game was UNREAL and I drove home in a thick fog while shaking with adrenaline. (like not foggy in my brain from cheering too much - although that could apply here, but literally foggy. It was balmy here - close to 60 degrees, as if Chicago forgot it was January). 

We were down 16 points - never had the lead until the final minute or two. Curly missed like four 3 pointers, but then hit two three's in the final 4 minutes. Her defense was intense. She had 5 steals and a few blocked shots. We won by three. 

I debated wearing this to Reg's
 game in early December. Curly
 barred me from leaving the
house. It's one of Ed's old
warmups. We are the hornets,
 so the shirt looks like a bee
 hive. It is like a dress on me.
 I admit that it's super ugly,
 but I think it makes great/unique
 spirit wear. I texted it to Mini
 who supported me wearing it,
 because I'm beaming in the
 pic and I looked so happy.
I chickened out.
 
Curly:  YEAH, THE GIRLS ON THE BENCH SAID YOU WERE GOING CRAZY. 

Me:  I CAN'T DENY THAT.  

Mini (who was sitting with her teammates from last year's team):  YOU LOOKED RIDICULOUS . I HAD TO SHIELD MY EYES. 

**note:  this does not deter me from being the crazy cheering mom, although I do hope that you can't see me on the recorded game.

Lad watched the game from home on that school's streaming service (yes, it was an away game - we pulled off the win on the opponent's home court), so he was able to save the recorded game. He emailed it to me, so I can bring my laptop over and share it with my parents. 

I feel like I should host a watching party and you could all watch the game too. Of course, I just told you the outcome, so that wouldn't be as fun as it was for me in person.

Ahem, OK, I'm calming down. Promise. 

I've been working on submitting some of my stories to online lit magazines and I had to put a few finishing touches on a story that I just submitted a few minutes before I switched gears and hopped over here. 

What I'm saying is - this night was epic. The thing about my story that I'm submitting is that I revamped it a bit and now I love it and I REALLY want this lit magazine to publish it. I'm kind of on a high right now, like a THIS-ESSAY-ROCKS high and then when they opt to not publish it, I'll crash and burn. 

But hey - that might not be for several months. My sports fan high is combining with my LOVE-THAT-ESSAY high and I might need to take a lap or two before I  settle down for bed. 

Well, this was supposed to be a quick explanation of why I'm sharing the below 'aside' as a post instead of an aside, but I got a tad long winded about sports and writing. 

Sorry, NOT SORRY . . .

 __________________________________

(an aside, I'm in stream of consciousness mode, hoping you'll roll with me): There is less than a  month left of Reg's driver timeout due to his grand mal seizure Aug. 1st. 

Feb. 1st, people. It IS coming and we so hope that he has no other seizures (he's only had the one - which was enough for a lifetime in my opinion, fingers crossed and prayers sent) and can gain back his independence and then I can gain back my sanity. Truly this has been SO very hard for him.

Not gonna lie though, it has been very challenging for me too. You know what I've done, or at least tried to do? Make it my life's mission to bend over backwards to get him where he needs to be and back again without making him beg for rides or wait very long. If you are picturing me tied in knots after bending a bit too much, then you've got the right image.

I'm not patting myself on the back, but I have stopped a few times to CHAT LOUDLY with the people who I need on  my same drive-Reg-whenever-wherever team. 

I asked Coach to help me with something when I was reorganizing the basement storage room in the fall. Reg texted to say he was ready to be picked up from LA Fitness. Coach was grouchy with his basement assignment thing, so he grumbled something like HE CAN WAIT.

Me:  NOW HOLD ON. I CAN WAIT FOR YOU TO DO THIS AFTER YOU DRIVE HIM. THERE IS NO REASON TO MAKE HIM WAIT. THIS IS NOT HIS FAULT. YOU EITHER GO GET HIM NOW AND THEN FIX THIS WACKY OFF-THE-RAIL DRAWER, OR YOU FIX THE DRAWER AND MAKE HIM WAIT, WHAT DIFFERENCE IS IT TO YOU?

Coach looked at me for a minute and it was like someone hit him over the head, hitting him over the head sometimes might be tempting, but he is a man and chores can be annoying, says the TASK MASTER. 

Coach:  YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. TEXT HIM THAT I'M ON MY WAY.

Ed came home from school and grumbled once about why couldn't Reg just wait and then workout later, who cares if he wants to go at such and such time.

I stopped him right there and reminded him:  WHEN YOU WERE 16, YOU DROVE WHENEVER AND WHEREVER YOU WANTED. THIS IS HARD FOR HIM. DO YOU THINK IT'S EASY TO ASK PEOPLE FOR HELP CONSTANTLY. HE LOST HIS FREEDOM HERE, AND . . .

Ed:  OH. HMM. TOTALLY RIGHY. MY BAD.

unrelated:  this baby I sit for
 LOVES Finn. Here she
 is massaging his neck. 

And so for most of this glorious month while I've had a college kid home, I've mostly gotten them and Coach on the same page and we do our best and Reg is always appreciative. 

Ugh, there was a dark day when the kids had a half day and the college kids were still gone. It was naptime and I couldn't leave. Curly was with friends and Coach said he would be home around 2. That turned into more like 3:30 and Reg was losing his mind because he wanted to get to the gym. He probably really wanted to have plans with friends and that didn't materialize and it probably added to his irritation. I wished I'd reached out to Coach sooner, but he got tied up and didn't realize our sitting duck boy was a very frustrated sitting duck. It was hard to be in the house that afternoon as Reg's frustration was palpable. 

There is a kid on the basketball team who drives Reg to practice and home A SHIT TON. He lives a few blocks from us, so we're on his way. Guess who has unknowingly joined the Shenanigan-baked-good-of-the-week club. I've showered this boy with cookies and pumpkin bread.  

Reg to Curly about a month ago:  DID YOU KNOW THAT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY FEB 1? 

Curly:  NO IT'S NOT. YOUR BIRTHDAY IS JAN 9TH.

Reg:  IT'S GONNA FEEL LIKE I'M TURNING 16 AGAIN ON FEB 1ST THOUGH.

I would like to throw a little surprise b-day or surprise you-can-drive-again party for him on Feb. 1st, but not sure I can pull that off. I'll keep you in the loop. 

_________________(long-ass aside over) _________________

This is a photo I took of the lights above our garage a day after Coach hung them. Note, I feared that some of you might take ill if you saw what the inside of our garage looked like, so I cropped the pic. The lights worked for one day then the middle of the string went out. He dealt with it and covered it up, but our lights sucked again this year.

I hope you will comment or I will really feel lousy that my long-windedness scared my lovely readers away. Are you a sports fan? Do you write and if so, do you submit to online lit mags? Can you believe it's been 5 months since Reg could drive? How would you celebrate his back-to-driving day? A cake shaped like a car? Or maybe best not to emphasize too much, like better to just knock on wood. 

23 comments:

mbmom11 said...

I think the sports shirt looked great on you- you should wear it to a game. I have one child playing basketball for the first time in years. I am a little loud in the stands, usually yelling good job or put your arms up. It's a Jr high team - supposed to be 7th and 8th graders but due to very small class sizes, it's mostly 5th and 6th graders. The size differential between our team and everyone else is painful. And our nice Catholic school kids were too polite to start with- no assertiveness on the court. But the boys are out there trying and they're getting better. They actually score double digits in the last few games and didn't lose by 50 points. However I'm very glad for the mercy rule.
I hope your guy gets his freedom back- I'll keep him in my prayers.

Ernie said...

mbmom - I do think the old, retired warm up shirt is cute. Maybe I'll wear it on Friday to a game. Reg and Curly both play at the same time, which stinks because they both start. It is hard to divide and conquer.

That is rough having younger kids play older kids. Curly's team is comprised of 4 freshman, 2 senoirs - one is very good, and that's all I can say there, and maybe 3 juniors and 1 sophomore. Not a very talented crew compared to most of their competition. They are scrappy as all get out. They lost in a Christmas tournament by 30 points. It was so hard to watch.

Thanks for the prayers. We are in the home stretch. It has been a long 5 months.

Beth Cotell said...

I love a long post!! I always read until the very end. I pray Reg has no more seizures and I hope you can pull off the surprise party!

Colleen said...

Just catching up after our time away...you've been busy as usual! I love how empathetic you are to Reg and that he's so excited to drive again, definitely worth a celebration...maybe you all pile in the van and he drives you for ice cream or something :) Your Christmas sounded fun, besides Covid, I can just feel the family laughs and togetherness that have occurred at your house. Oh and about the bball gift being ruined....when I was like 8 years old, my little sister and I were riding in the back of our family's wagon (you know sitting backwards like we used to have to) and my parents and older siblings were in the front of the car and my mom says "Oh pull into Toys R Us because the little girls want some new My Little Pony toy for Christmas" and then my older sister says "You know that they're in the back of the car, right?" Whoops she had forgotten we were there and it confirmed to me that Santa wasn't real, which I had already found out from Sarah Grimes in 2nd grade.

Jenny in WV said...

I love long posts. I like getting all the details. My least favorite type of blog posts are wordless Wednesdays.

I'm not really into sports. I'm uncoordinated and not athletic. Gym class was torture! The only team I watch is my college's basketball team. I'm not ever sure if I'm a real fan or just a fair weather fan, they have been so good for so long, I'm not sure if I'd stop watching if they had a losing season.

I'm not into writing either. I like to read books and blogs, but have no desire to write one.

I think a little surprise party to celebrate Reg getting to drive again, would be awesome! You could put a big bow atop the car, like the ones in holiday car dealership commercials!

Ernie said...

Beth - Well, you came to the right blog if you like long posts. Still thinking on how we celebrate the back to driving day. Would a party make him feel even lower if he ends up having another seizure and starting back at day zero?

Ernie said...

Colleen - Thanks for getting caught up on all of our stuff. It has been a pretty good break, although I had to start back to babysitting way early than I'd like. I thought about telling people that I was going to take a week off to spend more time with my kids, but then I had to cancel the before Christmas crowd and that was a financial hit. The week after Christmas was mostly spent racing to various basketball games. Fun, but hard to schedule much else.

Oh goodness, the back of the station wagon story is so funny. Your poor mom, I bet she was so bummed. I don't really find many surprises, so that basketball was a great last minute idea, or that's how I imagined it playing out.

Ernie said...

Jenny - Well, I'm so happy you found my long winded blog, since you like details. I'm here with all the details, my friend.

I totally relate to your gym class torment. I was not very coordinated or aggressive or compeititve or good at sports as a kid. It was sort of a joke when I made the b-ball team freshman year of high school. The focus was always on my brothers and their athleticism. So, imagine how fun it is for me to have offspring that are sporty? Full circle, or something.

Good ideas for the back to driving celebration. I like it.

Pat Birnie said...

Reg must be SO excited to get his license back - well I’m sure you all are. When my daughter turned 16 and could help with all the driving of her 3 young brothers to activities, it was life changing for me!!

I laughed at your hearing that “the girls on the bench said you were going crazy” - umm me? At least you don’t deny it. Must have been so exciting, and such a proud mama moment.

Kara said...

I'm a sports fan, but not a yeller. I've been to too many youth hockey games (as a child) where the Dads get too heated, and start fighting with each other. It scared me as a kid, and scars me as an adult.

My youngest can get her permit on Feb 1! It will be an exciting day in our house too.

Nicole said...

Poor Reg, that must be so hard for him! I'm glad you're making so much effort to get him where he needs to go.

Ernie said...

Pat - He is excited and SO AM I. It will be so very nice.

I sat near friends of ours and they do not cheer loudly. Afterwards I promised them that I would not sit near them at the next game.

Ernie said...

Kara - I'm a lover, not a fighter - I cheer loudly and get up and clap like a crazy person and pump my fists in the air. Fighting dads would be upsetting. One dad encouraged Curly when she missed yet another 3 pointer, 'THAT'S OK. KEEP SHOOTING.' I was so grateful for that.

We are both looking forward to Feb. 1st then.

Ernie said...

Nicole - It is hard for him. A few times the college kids have refused to drive him because they wanted to sleep in. I was like HEY NOW. They figured he could just ask someone from school, but I think he grows weary of always asking.

Nance said...

Good luck with your submission. I taught Creative Writing for 30 years (designed the course and curriculum, too), and I'm proud to say that many of mine went on to become published poets and writers. Sending out your work to be considered is a true leap of faith.

Maybe the best thing you can do on Feb 1st is to just hand your son the keys that day with a big smile. Let him have the car for the day, if possible. That freedom and trust would be the real celebration.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Is it bad that I like the Hornets sweatshirt?

I remember the sports fan highs and lows; congrats to Curly for making her mom lose her shit in public!

Keeping my fingers crossed about the essay; your writing is stupendous, so I feel confident for you!

Poor Reg! It doesn't feel like it's been that long from my perspective, but I'm not living it daily. I think there should be a celebration on 2/1. Also, praying he's on the other side of his health issues!!

Ally Bean said...

Normally I'd not be onboard with that bee hive hornet shirt, but it looks cute on you. You wear it well-- maybe not to church, though. What are these online lit magazines of which you speak? I don't know anything about doing that, but I have stories to tell...

Bibliomama said...

I would have worn that shirt proudly.
I think it's really great that you smartened people up as to how shitty this situation is for Reg. My niece had the same thing happen, got her license back and has never seized again, FWIW.
Love the baked goods for the helpful driver.
We had a similar baseball game once, and did go over to a coach's house to rewatch right after. The head coach looked at his gf at one point and said "in about five minutes you're going to look at me and say 'you guys WON this?' That kind of game is so fun, although some parents had the car packed to head to the cottage and were not happy that we were still in the playoffs. One of the other coaches, however, said to my husband "it's good, actually. We win this game, I lose my job" (they were French).

Ernie said...

Nance - That's aweomse. You must be a great teacher. From time to time, I've thought of going back to get a degree so that I could teach writing at a junior college. Feels like that ship might have sailed though.

He can definitely have the car that day. The college kids will be back at school.

Ernie said...

Suz - I might just wear the goofy hornet nest warmup to an upcoming game. I was voted most spirited in high school. Old habits die hard. ;)

Sometimes these games can be so exciting. It was crazy. Yep, I lost my shit.

Well, I submitted a bunch of things. I tend to submit in clusters. One essay was rejected THE next day. Sheesh. Usually it takes months to hear back.

It has been a long 5 months, but having my other drivers home has heled. Mini goes back to school on Monday. One more week with a sib driver home. Then he will have only a few weeks left until he can drive. Home stretch. His b-day is tomorrow.

Ernie said...

Ally - I do think it is cute - in the right setting. I might wear it to an upcoming game. I laughed at not wearing it to church.

There is a ton of online magazines. I had one essay published in the Dead Mule School of Southern Literarture. I use submittable to find online literary magazines to submit to. You can do a search for flash nonfiction, or creative nonfiction, or memoir, etc. You should check it out.

Ernie said...

Ali - I'd relied on Curly's opinion about the hornet nest warmup, but freshman are overly sensitive. I'm gonna wear the funny top to one of the upcoming games.

I'm so glad that your niece has had no more seizures. I hope that's the direction Reg head in too.

That baseball game sounds so fun. Love that you all went and watched it at the coach's house, right after. So fun.

Kari Wagner Hoban said...

So, because your posts haven't appeared in my Feedly, I'm going to make up for lost time by mass commenting. But I don't think you'll mind. :)

I've never heard of literary magazines before, but they sound exciting. Please let us when yours is published so that we can read it.❤️