Where to begin? For the last few weeks, our home has felt like and looked like a college gear fulfillment center. Boxes strewn across the floor. Bins resurfacing from various spaces in the basement. Bed Bath and Beyond coupons spread all over the island. People hollering things like:
WHO'S BIN IS THIS?
DID SOMEONE SEE A PACKAGE THAT ARRIVED YESTERDAY?
DID THE DOG EAT THIS DELIVERY BOX OR WAS THIS SOMETHING WE ALREADY OWNED? *
*so this did NOT feel related to a college packing place. It felt like a different kind of nightmare. We feared that Mary Ann ordered doggie poop collection bags.
|Note one roll, on the far|
right - slightly chewed.
What if Mary Ann ordered them and they were mistakenly delivered on our front porch and then one of us tossed said package inside the door, as we tend to do, and Finn ate the box with the label? What then?
Well, to our relief, Lad realized that the box had been stored in his locker in the mudroom, and Finn grabbed it from there. Bullet-from-ridiculous-neighbor dodged. We breathed a collective sigh. I admit it was hard not to chuckle when Lad scolded Finn by holding out the bits of package and Finn nuzzled his face into my leg like a naughty toddler looking for an ally.
This actual package chewing thing happened once before, but fortunately it was something we had ordered, so unrelated to Mary Ann. There was a tampon shortage, of all things, earlier in the summer. Did you know this? We were about to go to Wisconsin with my family and the girls wondered if they might need these items. Store shelves were empty and I ordered various items on line. I ordered a lifetime supply unsure of what would actually arrive. Um, they all arrived.
|"Did I do that?" - spoken in that |
annoying tone like Steve Urkel.
Who is enjoying MY recliner chair?
Admittedly, neither of the girls are full fledged, card carrying members of the tampon usage club, but always good to have options.
If you're wondering, Curly has not recovered from the 'incident' in KC, which still serves as the single funniest event I've ever witnessed.
If you are further wondering, the tampon boxes were shredded, but the products survived, so no money lost.
TANK'S STORY: this will probably not surprise you
When I moved Tank into his dorm at Creighton, we shared a giggle about the move in his freshman year. He carried up a bin that had a bunch of clothes in it. Someone in the elevator pointed to the index card taped to the side of the bin: MATERNITY CLOTHES. Oops.
Fact: we're good at reusing bins here, but apparently not great at discarding old labels.
Not sure that I ever shared Tank's oops when I picked him up from school in May. He wasn't packed. Believe it or not, that is NOT the oops. I anticipated this and brought many empty laundry baskets and boxes. We scooped up his stuff up and chucked it into the back of the car and drove off.
While we were scooping his stuff up, he proudly handed me a sheet of paper. "This is my award from my fraternity. They did a thing at the end of the year and they gave this to me," he chuckled.
The paper said MIX IN A WATER.
Me: I DON'T GET IT.
Tank: YOU KNOW, MIX IN A WATER.
Me: NO, I CAN READ - I'M JUST SAYING I DON'T GET THE MEANING.
Tank: WELL, THEY SAY THAT TO SOMEONE IF THEY'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK. LIKE SWITCH TO WATER FOR A BIT. GET IT?
Me: (staring at him, head tilted to one side) OH, YEAH. I SEE. I GET IT PERFECTLY NOW. YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THOUGH. I'M YOUR MOTHER. GOOD GRIEF, TANK. THAT'S NOT FUNNY TO ME.
This moment when he mistook me for a buddy lead to Coach and I talking to him quite regularly over the summer about the importance of NOT overdoing it.
ED'S STORY: this may or may not surprise you
|The Great White comes|
in handy, yet again.
This is the side entrance. Packed
to the gills for Ed's departure.
Ed needed a mattress because he is going to be living in a house. I will say only that one night he happened to be with me driving to Costco and someone had thrown a full size mattress and box spring out at the curb.
I will not say anymore except that we may or may not have decided upon inspection that said mattress was in good enough condition to be repurposed for a college house. There are, after all, cleaning products and we have strong sniffers and it may have passed inspection. I may or may not have been sworn to secrecy about whether or not we pondered this, because this kid is easily grossed out and is not interested in potentially being embarrassed.
Mini overheard a reference to this 'situation' and stared in disbelief. Ed looked at her and simply reminded her to thank her lucky stars that she was awarded a hefty scholarship.
Moving on, we ordered full size sheets for him and a new comforter. He made lists and gathered his things. He reported one bin missing in action and it caused him a great deal of stress. He'd stored his things in various corners of the house prior to departing for Budapest in Jan '22. I discovered his throw pillows and a duffel bag full of coat hangars in my walk in closet, but this one box alluded us.
|The back view.|
Finally, at long last, I ventured into the storage room in the basement. This may come as a shock to you, but if I do not oversee the movement of items in and out of the storage room the result is complete disarray. Therefore, I avoid the storage room at all cost. Otherwise, I'm reminded of how I need to get down there and organize it (AGAIN).
There were three bins stacked up right inside the door. I inspected each of them. Behind these three bins, was yet another stack of three bins. I couldn't walk over there easily, but I could sort of slide between the rows of bins. The top bin -as in the bin that I could clearly see, since I wasn't blindfolded and the light in the room functions, had a post it note INSIDE the bin. Someone, an organized soul even, placed this post it note in the underside of the lid so that it could be visible to, oh I don't know, TO ANYONE THAT IS NOT BLIND OR OTHERWISE IMPARIED.
If I know any of you and your ability to figure out uncomplicated riddles, then you've guessed correctly . . . this was Ed's missing bin. In plain sight. With a label in Ed's own hand.
I guess you never really know someone until they've shown you that they may be organized, but bad at opening their eyes . . . or perhaps this same kid might surprise you and reveal that while he is a germaphobe, the price of a new mattress MIGHT cause him to possibly overcome germaphobe tendencies.
Oh, here's another nugget - while driving Tank to school, he asked me if I thought Mini might get homesick. I said I don't think so, but I do think she'll miss us a little.
Then he shared a bit of a conversation between he and Ed.
Tank: SO, YEAH. I WAS TALKING TO ED. HE AND I AGREE. WE'RE SO RELIEVED THAT AT LEAST MINI IS NOT A SKANK, OR A SLUT, OR ANYTHING. YOU KNOW.
Me: (trying not to tear up at this touching sentiment) WELL, I MEAN - I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO AND I'M NOT AT ALL SURPRISED THAT MINI DOESN'T HAVE ANY OF THOSE QUALITIES, BECAUSE WE RAISED HER, YOU KNOW, NOT TO BE ANY OF THOSE THINGS. GOOD THAT YOU, HER BROTHERS, NOTICED. UM, DID YOU THINK TO THANK MINI FOR MAINTAINING GOOD VALUES AND SUCH?
Tank laughed. He and Ed can give Mini 'the business' about being messy and not exactly being on the ball, and being horrible in the kitchen, so it might've been touching if her brothers had let her know that they appreciate her in this, um, way. Unfortunately, I don't think they have a Hallmark card specifically stating: THANK FOR NOT BEING A SKANK.
|And then there were three . . . plus Coach. |
Playing volleyball last night.
The week in review: I drove Tank to Omaha 8/13th. Coach drove Ed 8/15th. Coach and I drove Mini to ND 8/19th. It was quite a week. As is often the case, there is more to tell. The daughter addition is up next. Any guesses on whether or not Mini was emotional, I was emotional, we were both emotional, or only Coach was emotional? Are you surprised by Tank or Ed's prep to leave? Do you draw the line on used items?
* Message to Nicole - I cannot leave a comment on your blog at the moment. Getting a weird error message: PLEASE COMPLETE ALL OF THE FIELDS. Ugh. What fields?
Some of my kids have outfitted entire apartment from side of the road finds. That mattress was probably left for a new owner to find because it costs and arm and a leg to get them hauled away. Great find!
Has Tank always been so straightforward? He's a trip!
Well, Hallmark does make Thank You cards and "blank inside" cards. I can only imagine the creativity your sons could call forth in designing a card for your Gratefully Not A Skank daughter. LOL
I probably shouldn't even mention the fact that I still have some of my sons' things stored at my house--even though they are in their thirties and have homes of their own. I don't WANT this stuff; I just can't seem to get them to take it away.
Thank heavens that wasn't a Mary Ann box, you don't need her crazies right now! My guess is that only Coach got choked up, but I look forward to the story.
I had problems with Nicole's blog the other day while leaving a comment; it's asking for your email, name and website. I think all wordpress sites do this, but for some reason, her's didn't hold my information like it usually does.
Hallmark has a card for every.damn.thing so why not Thanks for NOT being a Skank. Those boys are touching, for sure. 😜
I don't think I could take a used mattress. My biggest fear/worry/phobia is bed bugs regarding mattresses.
Oh that Finn! He's just an eager puppy and wants to help open all the boxes in the house.
I can only imagine how crazy things were at your house. With just two college kids, our bonus room looked like a war zone on the side where Peter dumped all of his stuff from freshman year and the other side looked like a Bed Bath and Beyond/Amazon warehouse with all of Sarah's stuff! Also, I hope you made use of the Bed Bath and Beyond College program. When you sign up, you get a 20% off coupon that's good until the end of September on EVERYTHING unlike the coupons they normally send where it's 20% off one item. And this year, since I signed up last year for Peter, it renewed automatically and I didn't have to do anything!
mbmom - I am all about finding good deals and what is better than a free mattress? We left it in the garage for a few days and we did treated it with cleaning stuff. It looked to be in pretty good shape.
Tank has ALWAYS been so straightforward. He once asked a friend of ours who had been laid off by corporate McDonalds if that meant that they would never eat at McD's anymore. He was probably about 12 years old or so, but goodness - some things are not asked of the newly laid off.
Nance - A blank card would do the trick, wouldn't it? Ha. Such flattery.
My folks made me take everything when I moved out - like everything. Coach and I were married for maybe 10 years and when his folks were over once, his dad dumped a heap of stuff in the middle of our garage. Yearbooks and some sport equipment. Some of the yearbooks belonged to Coach's sisters and had their names in them. I guess that's one way to do it.
I can only imagine how hard it will be to located each of their things and insist that they take them with them.
ccr - Exactly - can you imagine? "My email says my package was delivered today and I didn't get it. Do you have it?"
Um - well, what was INSIDE the package because the box has been digested by Finnegan.
That would've been fun.
I might need a few posts to cover all of the Mini stories leading up to her college drop off. As if that is a surprise.
Suz - I did see that you mentioned your comment didn't appear. I will have to try again and share my address again.
Yes, the used mattress was a head scratcher but once we got it home and looked at it closely and left it alone to see if anything crawled out of is - well, we decided it was good enough for college. We did buy a bag that it slides into to protect it/or him from bed bugs and such. Plus he sprayed it with everything on the market.
"Thanks for not being a skank." Maybe I should start my own greeting card business and rely on my offspring to help me coin fun, un-thinkable phrases.
Finnegan. That dog. I discovered that he ate something today that will be really hard to replace. No idea when he actually gnawed on it, but I am not happy with him. Lad is trying to stay on our good side and he is desperately looking online for a replacement. Not gonna happen. Grrr.
Beth - No corner of my house has been untouched in this college send off. Much of the house has unsuccessfully absorbed the crap that the two boys brought back after college. It is EVERYWHERE. I begged everyone to identify what they really don't ever want to see again, so there is no guessing game once they are gone. Add to that the buying of new things. Forget it. Now I'm dragging pack and plays into the bedrooms that aren't exactly in perfect order. It might be time to move. Yes, we did see that Bed Bath and Beyond coupon deal. I think Ed used it and it wouldn't work for Mini, but they let us use a million coupons instead. Her comforter came from Wayfair.
I cannot imagine the new level of craziness that must have been your home for the past few weeks! And then there were three…..it makes it a wee bit easier to send the older ones off. When my youngest moved away - like 3000 miles!! - I had a really hard time.
Grateful she’s not a skank - your boy could be a poet!
Not sure about the mattress. I also LOVE free stuff - but a mattress? Not sure.
Can’t wait to hear the Mini stories.
Pat - I do dread the day when we drop Curly off at college. Then there were 3, which feels a little like 2 since Lad is out in the world working. He's been trying very hard to contribute to the up keep of the house and help with driving since Reg's seizure. Still, we'd feel better if he was addressing some of his issues.
Oh, Tank. A poet, well that's funny.
Yes, the mattress at the side of the road is a questionable find but once I looked at it I decided that it was in good shape. It does make for a funny story, assuming nothing unacceptable crawls out of it later. ;)
Brace yourself, the Mini stories are as funny as you can imagine.
There was a tampon shortage? I missed that completely! Not that I need many tampons these days...
Nicole - I missed it too, because we don't usually need them. Every time I tried to buy tampons my computer suggested I buy a menstral cup. I was like, taking a pass on that, but thanks internet.
Post a Comment