March 30, 2022

What's for dinner? Oh, well . . . where is it?

The weekend after St. Paddy's day, Lad went to a parade with Finn and was gone most of the day. When he came home, I was in the study. Coach was picking up Reg at basketball. Curly and Coach and I had just eaten dinner. The weather was beautiful, so Coach grilled burgers. Mini was hanging out with a friend, but was eating at home later. 

I pointed out to Lad that he hadn't done laundry in two weeks and he needed to get it DONE. He ran upstairs to start his laundry.  

When he came downstairs, he asked:  DID DAD COME HOME WITH REG? 

Me:  NO, WHY?




Something clicked in my brain. I froze. 


That dog ate our dinner. There were about 12 burgers waiting to be eaten, or put in the fridge as leftovers. I made Lad call his father to share the news with him. Mini came home next. Her mouth was an O shape for awhile

Mini:  OMG - DAD TEXTED ME A PICTURE OF THE BURGERS WHILE I WAS WITH MY FRIEND. HE WAS SO EXCITED THAT HE'D GRILLED FOR DINNER. (* we don't eat burgers until it isn't below zero out and it's always a celebration for our offspring when burgers are on the menu again)

I called Coach a minute later. JUST GET REG A CULVER'S BURGER ON YOUR WAY HOME. MINI DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING. (she didn't want to add to his frustration by requiring a takeout burger).                                                 

That dog. THAT DOG! 

                                        I mean he did tolerate THIS. (6 SECOND VIDEO)

Remember when I mentioned that Finn interfered with my sleep recently. Details:

* Ingesting a squeaker. Finn ate a squeaker out of his toy one night. Coach was out of town. Lad sort of shrugged it off. Claimed he googled it. I went to bed and googled it myself as I was getting ready for bed. I rushed downstairs:  WHAT DID YOU READ? BECAUSE I'M READING THAT YOU HAVE 2 HOURS BEFORE IT HITS HIS INTENSTINES AND IT CAN END BADLY. Lad called the ER, took him there to have his stomach pumped. I went to sleep but woke up in the middle of the night for awhile worried. He was fine. I have begged Lad to toss out the cheap-ass toys. I think he finally did. 

* Introducing a new crate/cage. Lad bought Finn a new cage that all of the Shenanigans could fit in if we ever felt like creating our own escape room. Don't worry, I don't think that'll happen, but enjoy the visual of all the Shenanigans in Finn's large-ass cage. Just saying Hu-UGE. I don't think Finn likes it, preferred the cozy feeling of the smaller crate. Or, he has just figured out that if he whines and barks like the house is under attack, by killer yip-yip dogs or something, someone will let him out, even though his owner manages to sleep through these early morning freak outs. I've woken up EARLY a handful of times due to this unpleasant issue. 

Someone appears to be overstaying his welcome. What has your pet eaten? Does your dog prefer a small crate? Anyone know of a decently priced condo for sale in the Chicago burbs? wink, wink. 


Nicole said...

Finn ate 12 burgers??? Omg. I would not like to clean up after him after that.

Ernie said...

Nicole- if it wasn't 12, it was close. Worse than cleaning up after him was living with Coach after he FINALLY grilled.

Kate said...

Our oldest dog got a hold of my mom's dentures and thought it would be a good snack! *gag* He was a crazy (but lovable) dog. One time my dad was eating pretzels and dip and the dog sat hoping for a snack, too. My dad had the audacity to offer him a plain pretzel. The dog looked at him as if to say, "What? No dip?" He wouldn't take it until he had some dip, too.

joymariecooks said...

Oh gosh!12 burgers?!?? We had a Bernese mountain dog and she was tall enough to cruise the counters easily so we kept many things in the microwave and got a bread box. She was mostly into bread products... She was food motivated but not a big chewer otherwise. The only thing she destroyed was a slipper of my grandad's right after he died. We always thought it was some sort of mourning.

Jenny in WV said...

What has the dog ate (or at least chewed on)? Basically everything.

My favorite sandals
The cord to my laptop (twice! second time fried the hard drive!)
paper towels, keenex, toilet tissue
random stuff from the bathroom garbage can
pens and pencils
a ring (not swallowed, just mangled)
a computer mouse (a team of with the cat! the cat knocked the mouse of the desk and the dog chewed on it.)
my mp3 player
multiple hymnals
a library book
tea bags, (also requiring a trip to the emergency vet)
cash, I don't even know how much anymore.
most recently...while visiting relatives for Christmas, he enjoyed a slim jim wrapper. We took him to the emergency vet at 10 pm on Christmas Eve for what I assumed was just a regular upset tummy (he gets those), got home at 2:40am only $275 poorer. Christmas morning he gifted up with the wrapper.

He only goes in his crate when I'm not home (why no, I don't trust him to be unsupervised), I bought a larger crate than what was suggested for his weight because he has long legs and I wanted him to be able to stand up fully.

Kara said...

We failed at crate training our dog. As of about 6 months old, we just let him roam. It was the pandemic, everyone was home almost all of the time anyways.
Things the dog has chewed up:
The molding on the floor by my daughter's door
The carpet on the stairs
A coffee table book about baseball
At least eight pairs of shoes
A few blankets
The cord to the security camera (that we set up to be able to check on him during the day), while it was powered on
Two dog beds

He is currently working on pulling the bottom cover off of the couch in the family room. He already removed the bottom of the footrest. It's not chewing as much as it's just finding a thread and exploiting it. We can distract him with chew toys, but he's a champion of destruction. Today is his birthday actually. He turns 2 today.

ccr in MA said...

I can't imagine! That is a lot of burgers. That dog is pushing his luck with you.

Bibliomama said...

TWELVE BURGERS. Lucy has swiped an entire biscuit, a whole chicken breast, and a massive hunk of beef wellington. Nothing's ever caused anything more than severe irritation and getting fat-shamed at the vet because I took her the next day before she had crapped out the beef wellington (she was seriously down half a kilo on our next visit). And she ate some pot and cost us a bundle a few years ago because we didn't know what marijuana toxicity looked like and thought she had brain damage. A thousand dollars to wait out my dog being stoned. Good times.

Kari said...

Oh noooo. When it's not your dog, that's funny. We had a dog who once ate an entire chocolate bundt cake. Thankfully, he did not die. However, he vomited for 24 hours on the way home (we were out at my parents house). That was a fun ride home.

Pat Birnie said...

Years ago my sister had a German shepherd puppy. Their first dog. One morning they put a roast in the sink to defrost and went off to work. Came home to just the packaging. Probably comparable to 12 burgers!!

Busy Bee Suz said...

Twelve burgers? YIKES. What a disappointment for the humans, but joy for the canine. The cheap toys aren't good if he's a chewer; could be dangerous and/or deadly.
Our boxer Cocoa loved getting empty water bottles out of our recycle bin back in the day and ran with them all over the property. We didn't think much of it until one morning she was vomiting all over the house. She ended up ruining about 6 feet of her intestines and having that much removed; she spent several weeks in two different offices having two major surgeries. We called her the Ten thousand dollar dog.

Sometimes the larger crates come with a barrier that you can add in while they get used to the space. Maybe it's in the box undiscovered.
Please, share a photo of the family IN the big ass crate.

Beth Cotell said...

We only have cats and I'm very thankful after reading this! While they don't chew up anything, they do occasionally like to barf all over the place just to keep things interesting.

Ernie said...

Kate- oh no, not the dentures. That sounds expensive. So funny that the dog was not about to be denied dip with the pretzel. Totally logical.

Ernie said...

Joymarie- I love big dogs. Bernese mountain dogs are beautiful. Never thought about the counter height cruiser and the issues that come with thst. We grew up with a bread box. Looked like the top of a roll top desk. But we did not have a dog.

Aw, the slipper. I agree, he was telling you that he was struggling with the loss.

Ernie said...

Jenny- that is quite the list . . . not that you're keeping a tally or anything. Ha. Cash. That one kills me. Our friends had a German Shepherd named Cash because he was pure need. I think. Anyway, to my knowledge, he didn't EAT cash. You are not wrong not to trust him.

Ernie said...

Kara - At least 8 pairs of shoes. 8! Yikes. He is a busy guy. Maybe turning 2 means he will lose interest in searching the place for loose threads. One can hope.

Ernie said...


Ernie said...

Ali - I'm dying at the fat shaming trip to the vet and that she was down so much the next visit. Goodness. But the costly trip to the vet because your dog was stoned is a great story. A little painful on the pocket book maybe. So funny though.

Ernie said...

Kari - It is only within the last few years that I learned how bad it is for dogs to have chocolate. The lack of knowledge, because I AM NOT A DOG OWNER. Gotta feel for the dogs, because they sure are missing out. Our friend's puppy died in the fall because he got into the pantry and ate a whole bag of chocolate chips. They were devastated.

I imagine that car ride home was unpleasant for everyone.

Ernie said...

Pat - Oh my goodness, he got it out of the sink. Resourceful guy. That was a pricey meal.

Ernie said...

Suz - Yes, I've begged Lad to get rid of the cheap toys. All that is left of them are the bodies - no more stuffing and no more squeakers. He has a ton of other heavy duty toys that are meant for chewing, and pig ears, etc. I think Lad finally gets it.

Oh gosh, the dog eating the water bottles and needing surgery. Ouch - on so many levels.

Once I heard my people into the cage, I will snap a photo for you. ;) You raises a good point - I wonder if there is another piece in the big-ass box that is still in my basement. Finn caused some difficulties when we were away - he is really pushing it.

Ernie said...

Beth - Cat barf. You win. Ha. I would not survive a cat in the house - very allergic to those. Lad is lucky that I haven't had a problem with Finn, well - not an allergy problem. We got home last night. He was very wiggly and full of excitement to see us, or really - me, if I'm being honest.

Ally Bean said...

I've never had a dog or a boy child so I probably have nothing to add here. Still I wanted to say 'hi' so I'm leaving this comment. HI!

Ernie said...

Ally - Funny. Well, hi back. The thing about dogs and boy children - they are fairly similar. They eat everything and anything and they make messes. My boy children haven't ever eaten a shoe, or 12 hamburgers - but they've eaten more burgers than I would ever thing possible. Probably the 4 of them have eaten 12 all together.