Mini is a good student. Good SAT scores, but she isn't a great test taker. She has an excellent GPA, takes advanced classes, blah, blah. blah. I was fine when she said, YEP, DONE WITH THAT SAT THING. I'M HAPPY WITH THAT SCORE. PLUS SOME SCHOOLS ARE STILL GOING OPTIONAL WITH TEST SCORES.
So, she applied to schools that she could attend if she gets the Evans Scholarship, which is the full ride scholarship for caddies. We felt a few of the boys, mostly Eddie because of his strong academics, might get this based on the feedback from the golf course where they caddy. Never happened. We weren't financially needy enough. I was perfectly happy to submit our grocery bills, but that wasn't requested. So, while we feel we might fit the financial profile, we're not holding our breath.
ALSO - twice while Mini is in college, we will have a total of 3 kids in college. And, she is a girl caddy. There are far fewer girl caddies and they need to award it to both girls and boys, so from a numbers standpoint . . . well, still not holding our breath.
Evans schools that she applied to include Indiana University, where Ed goes. It has an excellent business school, but it's crazy big and we think she'd do better at a not so gi-normous place. And, Notre Dame. If (big IF) she was to get the Evans, she'd rank her top Evans schools, and they send her to one. Fingers crossed.
She applied to Creighton, where Tank goes and where Coach went. She applied to the school that I graduated from, Saint Mary's College. It's a very small all women's college across the street from Notre Dame. She also applied to Wake Forest and a few others, but these are the schools she is most focused on. She is very interested in which school is going to give her the most money.
She and I brainstormed the different angles she could use to incorporate her greatest attributes in her college essays. Needless to say, we didn't mention her lack of attention to detail while in the kitchen, or her ability to outsmart the system to arrive at school late and not be marked tardy.
The Notre Dame essay prompt asked something like: IF YOU ATTEND ND, HOW WOULD YOU EXPECT ND TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEART?
We really wanted to start her essay off with: DEAR HAUGHTY BASTARDS, but we refrained. Mini did write the essay from the angle that she'd anticipate her mind to be informed, grown, etc - duh, isn't that what college is for, educate me? But, she also noted that while her heart might grow, her heart was not in need of change, thank you very much.
I mentioned layers, here's one. My dad told Mini:
YOU SHOULD GO TO SAINT MARY'S
AND FIND A HUSBAND.
I know. Archaic. So offensive. This implies that she should attend college in the hopes of marrying a man from Notre Dame. This mindset diminishes how capable my kid is and obviously, no girl should attend college, regardless of how bright she is, in the hopes of landing a husband. Last time I checked this is 2022.
This ticked Mini off. I was fired up. I told my dad from his front stoop during one of my walks in the fall what I thought of this approach. I told him (among other things like she's going for an education, etc.) YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BRIGHT MY KID IS. SHE COULD GET INTO NOTRE DAME.
Dad (shrugging): OH, WELL. THEN SHE SHOULD APPLY THERE.
Background note, so you can fully appreciate this layer: my dad, his brother, one of my mom's brothers, both of my brothers, and my sister, Marie all went to Notre Dame. Two of Marie's daughters attend Notre Dame currently. Marie is the one who acts as if she is an only child. Hard to describe the dynamic, but she would do anything to align with our parents. Always needs to be in their camp. Drinks the Kool-Aid. Having 2 kids at ND is a feather in her cap that she wears with SUCH pride.
Meanwhile, Pat's daughter Opal is Mini's age. She's always been billed as very brilliant. Haven't you heard? We don't share test scores or grades with my folks, not how we roll. Mini likes to say that perhaps if she showed up to family parties reading a book, maybe my folks would decide that she, too, is brilliant.
Years ago, when Lad was in 8th grade my dad took him to a special athletic club dinner hosted by the ND club. This was SUPPOSED to be an exciting evening for Lad to get some much needed individual attention. One on one time. He was the only grandkid invited.
Lad asked my dad that night: Do you think I can get into Notre Dame?
My dad: NO, BUT ALL OF PAT'S KIDS WILL. *outrage: whether this is true or not, read the damn room*
I remember waiting for Lad to come home, anxiously anticipating his reaction to this big night out. Instead, he shared the above and I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut.
Mini and I visited Saint Mary's in early November. While she is underwhelmed by the small size, she was actually more impressed than she thought she'd be. Our visit happened around the same time that the president of the college sent out an email with a link to an article in Forbes that highlighted how great it is for women to attend an all women's college.
I forwarded the article to my dad: HAVE YOU TOLD OPAL THAT SHE SHOULD GO TO SAINT MARY'S AND FIND A HUSBAND? IF YOU HAVEN'T, I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF WHY NOT.
He emailed back and admitted that Pat wouldn't allow him to discuss Opal's college search with her. Translation: growing up Pat was praised for being SO smart, well even I must admit, this move was very smart on his part.
Do you know people who still think it is 1950? Who influenced you/your children in your college/career/job decisions? Did some people need to told to zip it?
Next part should be ready to post on Monday.