January 11, 2022

More Christmas bloopers, because shit happens: THE SHOE EDITION

 Cliff hanger answered:

I wrapped up a toy baby bed from the basement to remind Lad that we gave him his mattress for Christmas. He's said to me a few weeks prior that we didn't need to get him anything since he was staying here WITH A DOG. That showed some real maturity, I felt. I did get him a few real things in addition to a toy baby bed.

Plus next to Lad and Ed's stockings, I hung VERY tiny sport coats that I'd saved in case H and L would one day wear them. 



This bottom piece was a tad thicker
 so that Baby Jesus could stand up


3.  I think Finn is an atheist. Look what he did to my sweet wooden Baby Jesus. It's part of a nativity set that I've had since before we were married. I wasn't very happy. This happened while I was napping a few days after Christmas. Mini begged to let Finn off of his leash to hang out in the kitchen. She and Tank promised to watch him. :"WE THOUGHT HE HAD A BONE." 

4. Reg had one gift to open from my folks. Usually there are more boxes per kid, so I told him it must be a big 'un. It was. 

On their patio he opened an amazing pair of Air Jordan basketball shoes. His face. Well, he was blown away. He looked at me like WTF? Nana called from the doorway, ARE THEY THE RIGHT SIZE? They weren't. They are a 14. 

Ed:  YEAH, BUT NIKE RUNS SMALL. * proof that we've trained our kids to just show gratitude and we can discuss size options/ returning at home. 

Reg was incredibly grateful and thanked my parents profusely. But he's a size 13 - sometimes even a 12.5. The shoes do not fit. We pondered what to do. 


    1.  I could ask for a receipt and get them in a different size or just return them. Reg JUST bought new basketball shoes before Christmas. 

    2.  We could hope or anticipate that his feet might keep growing, but most of my guys are a 13. Tank is the exception with his size 15, but even lately he hasn't been measuring that big. 

If you are nodding your head and saying, OF COURSE TANK IS THE EXCEPTION, that just shows that you come here often. 

My kids also pointed out that these aren't really the kind of shoe you wear to play basketball. They're more to wear around for status, or to be cool. Well. That really isn't how we roll. I believe my mom bought these before she heard the story of the kid on the opposing Entitled team telling Reg:  "NICE BROKE ASS SHOES." My kids would never wear a $200 plus pair of shoes, just to be showy. They also said, you COULD wear them to play basketball, but they made it sound like they aren't necessarily made for performance on the court. 

Later, I noticed an EBAY tag on them. Hmm, another layer to the quandary. What on earth? My mom has never touched a computer. Well, she'd probably dusted one. How could she have gotten something off of ebay, and what would that mean in terms of trying to return them? 

Detective Ernie texted my brother Pat and asked if he'd helped her. Yep. Below is his response:

Please hold while I grab my crystal ball and check to see
if Reg's feet are done growing. AND yes, he was excited. He hadn't tried them on. AND DUH - he has manners, of course he is excited. What is even happening?

Big enough so he wouldn't outgrow them, or so big that he would never wear them? Excited - YES, until we got home and he tried them on, and then I noticed the ebay tag.  

I cannot wrap my brain around why she asked Pat for help. Other than, he is billed as the hero, someone who knows stuff. I mean, I am his mother and I happen to know Reg's size. I could've offered guidance here. Now we are stuck between a rock and a potentially non-returnable pricey item. This is different than a polo shirt Mom bought on sale for $25 that can't be returned. 

Reminder:  Pat's the same brother that proofread the book my dad wrote and distributed at Christmas that made Lad feel terrible. My dad described people's 'issues' if they had any -  for Lad that was having ADD. Pat and his kids and wife? Glowing descriptions. Lad flipped to his page and ran out of my parents' house balling. Imagine Pat telling Dad:  "SURE PRINT IT, DAD. LOOKS GREAT."

I waited for Pat to come back from Disney. Then I texted him to let him know that there are no guarantees that these shoes will ever fit Reg. Also, Pat might be Mr. Basketball from the 90s, but his boys aren't athletic. He probably doesn't realize that these shoes aren't worn to PLAY basketball. 


I could call my mom and let her know they don't fit, but for now I'm letting Mr. Hero navigate the situation. He's said nothing since I texted him a week ago.

Please share your thoughts. Weird factor? Pat's involvement? What would you do? Am I alone thinking this was strange, particularly Pat's involvement? Anyone have an idea where to find a new wooden baby Jesus? Anyone know a guy with a size 14 that wants to buy a pair of Air Jordan's? Anyone else use household items to alert kids to difficult to purchase, or already purchased gifts?

Tune in tomorrow for a not-so-frustrating blooper, but one that I think will make you split a gut. 


Ally Bean said...

I have no advice for any of your questions. All seem too existential to answer. I know nothing. Happy Tuesday!

me said...

I think it was amazing that your mom bought those shoes for your son. She knew he needed shoes (or thought he did) she bought something that are highly regarded and she bought something to do with a sport your son loves. I imagine she asked your brother because in her mind guys are the tech types and she wanted to surprise you all.
Maybe misguided but I think was very well meant. Perhaps you could sell them on eBay, Facebook, or Craigslist?
And your kids are are wonderfully gracious. Some of my wretched children would have blurted out something thoughtless in a situation like that and I would want to kill them. (Their filter are not very refined yet.)

Ernie said...

Ally - Ha. Happy Tuesday to you too.

Ernie said...

me - No question my mom was very generous and had a great idea- maybe I glossed over that, but I feel like Pat should've thought to ask what size he was. My life is full, I don't really need to be surprised by a pair of b-ball shoes. Pat's 'I know so much' approach irritates me. I can't help that it irritates me that my mom feeds into that 'Pat knows so much' mindset either, since it has been an underlying theme all my life. Pat is also very wealthy, so maybe it doesn't occur to him that we would not want to own a pair of very pricey shoes and not be able to wear them. Maybe the shoes can be resold, but that would be work for me.

Jenny in WV said...

I'm not into sports (or $200+ shoes) and I didn't realize that the shoes with the basketball player logo, aren't actually meant to be worn while playing basketball. So I'd give you Mom an "A" for the idea (Hey it's the thought that counts), but only a "C-" for execution (is it really that hard to double check a shoe size? Why not make it easier on yourself by seeking assistance/input from someone closer to the giftee?).

Your kids seem to have great manners and should be commended!

I'm sorry about you nativity set. Maybe you can find an artist to make you a similar replacement? My dog chewed lots of stuff as a puppy (some cheap- 50% off lowest price sandals and some not - computer cord = fried hard drive) but fortunately, nothing sentimental.

Kara said...

I'd stroll through Etsy and see if someone makes something similar to your wooden nativity and then reach out to see if they can make a replica of your existing, but slightly chewed Baby Jesus.

I don't understand expensive sneakers. My kids buy the UGLIEST shoes and think they're awesome. They are fully on the Crocs bandwagon too, and each have at least three pairs. I understand my soccer kids putting on Crocs after a game, but I don't understand wearing them to school.

Charlie said...

You wrote something about having a baby bed on your to do list Christmas morning and I did think your tribe were a bit old for baby beds as Christmas presents, so thanks for clearing that up! That’s all very weird. Pat does sound very arrogant and it’s odd for you mum to have asked him rather then his parents about Reg’s shoe size. Obviously your mum’s intentions were good, but I would let her know they don’t fit and you don’t want her money to be wasted.

Beth Cotell said...

I'm wondering if they are unreturnabl. I think your best bet is to try to resell them. Ugh! But it was a nice thought on your mom's part.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I really think your Mom was trying to do a solid for Reg and possibly she wanted it to be a surprise for you too. SURPRISE!
Hmmm.I think you're gonna have to let your mom know they don't fit and see where that leads. Maybe she can return them? Then she might buy another pair, but perhaps from a local store where Reg can return those for something more suitable?

I don't know. I'm grasping at straws.
The sport coat thing was cute!

Again, Lad has made so many maturity strides this year; that makes me so happy!

Poor Jesus!

Ernie said...

Jenny - I agree. She tries to come up with something that will be exciting for each grandkid, which is probably why she doesn't go the gift card route. I feel like Pat should've run it past me. I know my kids' sizes better than anyone. What good does it do to surprise me?

Thank you, they don't always act proper and appreciative, but I would say most of the time they do. And, Reg does appreciate the gift he doesn't know what ebay is and he was just hoping he could look for the right size. Not quite that simple.

The nativity set is a bummer, but I do have very artistic kids . . . maybe Mini can figure out how to make a replica of it. *it did happen on her watch* We don't tend to be the 'here's a perfect piece of wood for this here project' type, but maybe that's a new thing we can branch out into.

Ernie said...

Kara- I like the Etsy idea. I don't scroll through their often, but it can't be too hard.

My kids are more into athletic slides vs crocs, but they aren't really into pricey shoes. I mostly enjoy the fact that Mini and Curly and I are all a size 9, although Curly is sometimes an 8.5. Shoe sharing is so cost effective. Until, the shoes that are borrowed from me don't get put back.

Ernie said...

Charlie - I didn't think anyone would 'get' that baby bed reference. I like to get credit when credit is due, and HEY, I BOUGHT YOU A BED isn't as much fun as wrapping up a mini one. Look how lucky I am to be 51 and have doll house size toys laying around.

Yes, why Pat thought this was the way to go here baffles me. I don't fault my mom - it was a great idea. Thinking she could really wow him and this is why it is hard to call her up and say SO, ABOUT THOSE SHOES. . . but I will. Since Pat thought his involvement was flawless, I'd like him to handle it. Fat chance. You nailed it - arrogant.

Ernie said...

Beth - yes, that is my fear. Unreturnable. I don't fault my mom. She's almost 80 but my brother should know better than to buy something for her on ebay when he never bothered to ask for a size. And then to act like maybe it was something Reg could just collect? And, hey did you notice the brand? Yep, still don't fit. Strange.

Ernie said...

Suz - Yes, agreed - my mom had the right idea. I might have to tell her though they don't fit. She will be clueless though and defer to Pat since there is no chance she did anything on ebay. Pat did it all for her.

I just got an email about the team Reg has been recruited to play for starting this spring. It's a team that colleges come and scout. New shoes are part of the gear as it is a team sponsored by Under Armor team. He will have shoes through that team so maybe that can help me wiggle out of this pair. If there is any wiggling to be done.

Tank flew back to school this morning, wearing his new sport coat. It is very nice. Size 42L and we had the sleeves shortened slightly. He wore the sport coat with workout pants and a t-shirt because he didn't know how else to pack it. I told him to bring a hanging bag and give it to the flight attendants, but he feared he'd forget. Instead he just looked stylish.

Poor Jesus is right. *this made me laugh*

Jenny in WV said...

I am laughing at the image of Tank wearing his new sport coat on the plane. I Think that was a good strategy, "I don't know how to pack this, so I'm just going to wear it".

Also, slightly wowed that Reg doesn't know what eBay is.

Ernie said...

Jenny - Yep, he looked hilarious. He texted me when he got there to say his jacket looked great. His dress shirt that we just bought looked kinda wrinkled. So much for wrinkle free. I felt bad, he changed his flight (no additional $) so he could fly back early in the day in time to see a basketball game and then the game was cancelled. Ugh.