(If you are wondering what happened to 1-4, please see yesterday's post)
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| This came up when I did a search in my photos for food. It has Mini's name written all over it. |
5. Too many cooks in the kitchen?
Mini's good friend's grandma told Coach and I at a 50th b-day party for the aunt that she intends to give her granddaughter and Mini a cooking lesson. Or baking, maybe? Regardless, I felt it was only fair to warn her:
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| Not a horrible outcome. She is creative. |
MY DAUGHTER MIGHT BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN OR RUIN YOUR POTS AND PANS OR DESTROY YOUR APPLIANCES. THINK TWICE HERE, SWEET UNSUSPECTING GRANDMA.
There are literally too many incidents to list here. She tried to make perogies the day she and Tank had their wisdom teeth out. I'd already made some. She wanted more. She put the frozen perogies into the water before boiling it. She scrambled and took them out, resting them on a paper towel, maybe? Whatever she did, the paper towel caught on fire and she dropped it and ruined my beautiful, newish, stainless steel stovetop with a burn mark. *sigh*
She and Reg made pancakes one Saturday a few weeks before Christmas, when I was still fine-tuning my Christmas poem, which if you've seen it - you know. They wanted me to make them, but I was busy editing. I was in the study.
Mini (calling from the kitchen): OOPS, HEY MOMMY, IS THERE A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BAKING SODA AND BAKING POWDER? I USED THE WRONG ONE.
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| These are MY pancakes from a different day. |
Then Tank came home from work and was excited to see pancakes. He learned Mini was making them and he politely declined. I urged him to eat them. He came in the study to eat. A moment later . . .
Tank: EW! THIS IS BATTER.
It was true. The cakes were not cooked through.
Also over Christmas break, I was making meatballs as a late Tank b-day celebration. His b-day happened while he was at school. I needed to run up to the junior high. Curly is managing the boys' 8th grade basketball team and a mom drives her home from practices because I babysit. I baked cookies and was supposed to show up to the boys' game to hand deliver them. 
Me: MINI, JUST STIR THE ONES IN THIS PAN OCCASIONALLY. TURN THEM TO LOW IN A FEW MINUTES, OR TURN THEM OFF. GOT IT?
Mini 'had it' but she and Tank started joking around about something and she claims Tank didn't want her to touch his b-day dinner and he claims that he never agreed to watch the meatballs.
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| Look AT THAT PAN. |
Me (walking in after being at the end of the boys' game - I hadn't timed it great and I got there when there was more time on the clock than I'd hoped):
OH MY GOSH! WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT'S BURNING?
YOU GUYS?!
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| Boil baking soda, scrub, repeat. |
They acted like everything was fine. Um. The pan was coated in black burned sauce. I eventually got it cleaned, but again - the amount of time I soaked and scrubbed. They blamed each other and acted like I was exaggerating. The meatballs were a little dry, but edible, praise God.
6. WAKE UP: When I went to Minnesota for Joe's funeral, Mini needed to wake up and put the garage door up by 7:15 am. I called to remind her (which evolved into a hilarious conversation when she told me that we'd one day go clubbing, so you can see how it is hard to stay mad at her). I wanted Ed to be her backup.
Me: Can Ed wake up and be sure you are awake?
I thought he'd be awake because he'd be going to work anyway. Turns out, he wasn't going to work that day because of the car shortage, thanks Ann. He had stuff to do to get ready to study abroad anyway. He needed to be home to drive Reg to school for his final exam.
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| This also popped up and it made me laugh. Mini made me dessert. Heavy on the cool whip, not wrong - just funny. |
Mini begged me not to involve him: I'LL WAKE UP. PLEASE TELL HIM HE DOESN'T NEED TO HELP ME. HE'S ALREADY BEING ARROGANT AND GETTING IN MY FACE ABOUT IT, LIKE I CAN'T HANDLE IT. HE'S ACTING LIKE UNCLE PAT. (no. I must put my foot down here. I cannot have a child simulate Mr. Pompous).
Me: OK, BUT WAKE UP BY 7:15. DOOR UP. THEY GET THERE AROUND 7:20 AM.
In the hotel, I was up for awhile during the night, and then went back to sleep. I slept until 7:36 am. I looked at my phone and noticed that I had TWO MISSED CALLS from one of the moms I sit for, who happens to be Mini's AP Calc teacher. NOOOOO!!!!!
Yep, Mini overslept. I meant to remind the woman of the code to the garage. I forgot. She was ringing the doorbell. Lad's room is above the door. He heard babies talking about birds signing and he ran down and let them in and woke up Mini.
Mini answered the phone when I called from my pullout bed in Minnesota.
Mini: I'm up, I'm up, it's fine. They're inside now. Sorry.
She begged me not to tell Coach and Ed. I agreed. But WTF? She was like, I woke up to my alarm. Then I don't know what happened.
Me: UM, YOU LAID BACK DOWN. DUH.
7. Whose cream is this? I took Mini back to the dermatologist a few weeks ago. I was irritated because whatever we were trying wasn't working. Um. Turns out, Mini was only using 2 of the 3 medications. My chin actually hung open since I've been known to ask WHOSE TUBE OF LOTION IS THIS?
Mini: OH, OOPS. I GUESS I NEVER USED THE OTHER CREAM. MY BAD.
8. "Oh, did you call?" She either can't find her phone, or doesn't bother to look at it. A few years ago, she was looking all over for her phone and had us searching high and low. OH, HA. HERE IT IS. IT WAS IN THE POCKET OF MY HOODIE. (that she was WEARING). I won't bother to bore you with car keys and how a certain someone struggles to keep track of them. I think this will not surprise anyone.
9. "I'm right." This might be a strength, but not if you happen to oppose Mini. Then it's hell. She should be a lawyer. She CANNOT be wrong. It's not possible. Curly told me yesterday when we were talking about keeping the room clean (I think) that she can't fight with Mini, because there is no winning. Curly: IF I DISAGREE WITH HER, SHE WILL FIGHT WITH ME AND THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT FOR ME TO SAY, SO I JUST DON'T BOTHER. OTHERWISE SHE'LL END UP ROASTING ME.
I'm sure I could come up with a 10th here, but I think you get the picture. Perhaps you've observed a 10th from a far, if so please remind me. I think I said it best in my comment to Suz yesterday. Mini will need a personal assistant, a chef, and a maid.
12 comments:
In her defense regarding the dermatologist - the same thing happened to Sarah. We went back for a follow-up complaining that things weren't as good as we hoped. When she double-checked to make sure she was doing ABC, XYZ, and we weren't. Even I had gotten confused. Some potions were to be applied at night, some in the morning, some twice a day. Before we left, the dermatologist wrote everything down on a piece of paper and it's been fine since. It was very confusing so I'm going to give Mini a pass on this one!
I'm starting to think my middle (also 17) may actually BE Mini. The lost things that are in her pocket. The dermatological issues. But mostly the "I'm right." Middle is not ever wrong. Middle does not ever apologize. Middle flat out doesn't BELIEVE in apologizing (she's told us that, she doesn't apologize, you get over it or you don't).
Beth - I wasn't with her at the appointment prior, but I do get that it is a lot to remember. Our doc usually writes stuff down. When a tube of cream sits on my counter or the stairs and no one claims it is theirs, it boggles my mind. It was frustrating because she wants her face to clear up. I am glad to know that she isn't alone. She can use all the free passes she can get . . . um, she asked me yesterday if I'd heard from the nurse at school. No. She admitted that she was throwing up first period because she took her acne medicine and intended to eat something once she got to school. Then she forgot. It makes you sick if you don't eat it with food. I think THAT lesson has been learned. ;O
Kara - I am staring at my computer screen in disbelief that we managed to clone our daughters without realizing it. Ha. I do think Mini believes in apologizing, but I don't think she usually finds herself to be at fault, so?
When she is a high-powered attorney (all the arguing is crucial right now-it's called preparation) she will be able to afford her own chef, housekeeper, and assistant to carry her phone around.
God bless her, she's a menace in the kitchen. HA. But I was too at that age. Mostly because I lived with my Dad as a teen and before that, my Mom didn't cook often so no one taught me. I know she doesn't have that excuse though; the kitchen is NOT her courtroom.
The burnt pan would have driven me to drink. More.
Suz - Yes, she is in preparation phase. I do hope she can afford all the help, because by then I might need to step away from the disorganized child.
I forgot to mention the day the night before my birthday. I decided that she and Curly could prepare dinner, since they were home. And I was hungry. And tired. Mini had to pull up a chair to the stove top to stir. "This is so exhausting." They also had to cut up a butt load of veggies and chicken. Mini wanted out almost right after the start. Coach got home and just shook his head. He was happy to point out how often I do exactly what they were doing, but by myself while babysitting or managing other stuff. It was a teaching moment. Fortunately dinner was edible.
Oh, that pan. Good gravy, I about died when I saw it and she and Tank were all shrugs and chuckles, WHAT? ALL GOOD. CHILL-AX. Eye-roll. The smell - how did they not notice the SMELL of burning food while they were messing around.
Ditto what Suz said above. Mini will be just fine as she goes along in life. In the meantime, please keep us entertained with her antics. I do like this kid.
Ally - I do think Mini is going to do great, largely because she thinks for herself and doesn't typically care what anyone thinks. That being said, I hope she can afford to eat out and buy new pans regularly. Also, if her disorganization starts to cause her difficulties at least her sense of humor will probably kick in. I promise not to fire her from providing me with blog fodder.
OMG how did the paper towel catch on fire?? That's something that hasn't even happened to my dad, and he is completely incompetent in the kitchen.
Nicole - It is a bit of a wonder. I think after realizing she needed to boil the water first, she scooped them out - but they were wet so she was trying to land the on a paper towel. The paper towel got too close to the burner. Poof - fire. I believe that's how it went. We COULD blame the drugs from the wisdom teeth extraction, but there IS a pattern here
As someone who has had her fair share of "incidents" in the kitchen, I feel a great deal of camaraderie with Mini! Setting a paper towel on fire is totally something I would do. She will be fine.
Suzanne - You seem to have a good handle on kitchen tasks, but I take your word for it that you've had your struggles. I do believe that Mini will be fine, I might just have to bring meals when I visit her one day. ;)
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