January 10, 2022

Christmas bloopers

Birthday breakfast heading
down to the basement. 

Pausing the remaining birthday bits to share our Christmas bloopers. What can I say? It's what I'm in the mood for and since my home is a shit-show at the moment, I'm going rogue. 

Birthday boy eating in
 his cave. He has
 the couch pulled out.
He admits he's watched like
13 movies.
Um, how about a book?

SHIT-SHOW DEFINED:  Reggie tested positive on Wednesday, Jan 5th and even thought the CDC says people without symptoms can leave isolation after 5 days, the public schools in Illinois are sticking with 10 days. What that means is that if he has no symptoms after 5 days, he can go to the health club, church, friends' houses, but not school. He's missing a ton of basketball games. Plus final exams. 

Tank insisted that I also serve bacon
 and sausage. Not because he was
 worried that Reg might want some
 for his birthday, but because he
 wanted some. He went to the store for
 me and this is next course
being left at the top of
 the basement stairs.

Oops, I listed basketball first, as if it's more important than school. 

Oh, and by the time you read this - Reg will have celebrated his not-so-sweet-16th birthday while still in isolation for covid. His birthday was yesterday, January 9th.

Coach and Lad were sick on Wednesday and Thursday respectfully. Stomach bug issues. Both tested negative. Most of the babies went home on Wednesday and puked all night too, but not me. Weird since Lad and Coach had no contract with them. My brain hurts from trying to track who has what and where they may have gotten it. I don't advise it. 

My old Burger King booth looking like the
 maid hasn't around to cleaning up
 after the covid captive. When Tank called
 down to let him know the bacon and
 sausage were ready,

Because the good times keep rolling, today (I'm drafting this on Friday) Curly woke with a headache. Low grade fever. Fatigue. Cough. Her antigen test was negative. Doc doing a PCR. 

There will be a quiz at the end of the post to see if you can figure out who has what. Extra points if you can identify the strand. 

I'm trying to rise above the petri dish atmosphere and maintain my sanity and keep my distance from EVERYONE. If I end up getting sick and missing Joe's services the 13th & 14th in Minnesota, you will hear me sobbing in whatever corner of the world you live in. You've been warned. 


Technically mystery gift should fall into this category, but I've already shared.

1. My dad sends out a list each year. He likes to read history books (yawn fest).  His list, in case this sort of thing interests you: (since I'm paranoid about writing long posts - I'm not counting his list in my word count, so skip if you don't care): 

·        James Garfield and the Civil War by Daniel Vermilye  @  $31.99

·        Grover Cleveland, A Study in Courage by Allan Nevins @ $70.00

·        The Presidency of Benjamin Harrison by Homer E Socoeofsky and Allen Spetter @ $39.95

·        William Howard Taft’s Constitutional Progressivism by Kevin Burns  @ $37.00

·        William Howard Taft:  The American Presidents Series: The Twenty seventh President 1909-1913 by Jeffery Rosen and Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr. @ $24.50

·        The Triumph & Tragedy of  Lyndon Johnson: The White House Years by Joeseph A Califano JR  @ $30.00

·        Richard M Nixon: A life in Full by Conrad Black @ $48.67

·        Gerald Ford: An Honorable Life by James Cannon & Scott Cannon @ $35.00

·        The Outlier: The Unfinished Presidency of Jimmy Carter by Kai Bird @ $ 25.38

·        Bill Clinton: New Gilded Age President by Patrick J Maney @ $39.95

While contemplating which book to get him based on what books my siblings had already purchased, I scrolled down and accidentally realized that he had a list of Star Wars action figures below his book preferences.

Well, to each his own, right? Some of the guys on his list are available for $350 on Facebook marketplace. Some for like $8 to $12. I called Dad:



So, I tend to be negatively impacted by the favoritism thing (in case you hadn't noticed) and I cringed a little thinking:  I'll get him some of the guys and then he'll leave his somewhat complete set to a grandson that isn't one of my four sons. 

These guys came in a few
days after Christmas

I decided not to care even though Tank already said he'll be ticked if Da leaves it to someone other than him. See. Weird, right? Tank dug through our bin of guys and came up with at least one on the list. Lad wasn't willing to part with our guys. Fair enough. I just bought 4 or 5 of the cheaper guys.

By the time I'd done 'research', the action figures weren't here on time. So, we did what we Shenanigans do. We improvised. Below is the video of how we acted out the gift that was on its way. Yes, faces are visible. Oh well. Tank is wearing his Yoda backpack for effect. Reg and Curly agreed to grab light sabers and play along. If you watch, you can tell Reg rethought his involvement. 

2.  Coach and I didn't get one another gifts. Sort of. I had one fuzzy pullover for Coach. I bought the same thing for Tank and Reg and they are wearing it in the above video. Coach had nothing for me. Usually I buy something for myself and wrap it up, from him. I really don't need any clothes, but I had one top that I had gotten and I told him he could wrap that up for me. 

I ended up hating it when I eventually tried it on. I assumed I'd put it on backwards. Nope, it was made weird and all it did was simulate choking. I took it back. 

He usually takes the kids to Target and asks me for ideas, or he wings it, and they get me a few things too. Last year he surprised me and bought me an office chair to replace the yoga ball I'd been sitting on at the computer, per my PT husband. 

Anyway, when Coach was a bit panicked that he'd never gone shopping with the kids, I gave him the Heimlich-maneuver-sold-separately top to wrap up. He worried that the kids would be upset that they hadn't gone shopping. I said HEY, WE JUST PUT SIDING ON THE HOUSE. WE GAVE THAT TO EACH OTHER. If nothing else, I'm a problem solver. 

We are often so busy, like ships passing in the night, that we don't discuss this in advance.

Oh Christmas Eve, I wrapped whatever stuff wasn't purchased at the world's greatest department store where they wrap stuff for free. When we went to bed, I thought of a few things I needed to do in the morning. I wrote my TO DO list on a scrap of wrapping paper.   

The next morning after I made breakfast, I ran upstairs to be sure we hadn't forgotten anything and to consult my TO DO list. We didn't even end up putting the gifts under the tree until after we'd made breakfast. It was a weird year, but it was  low key and I'd chosen to be VERY chill because of my recent reminder that life is short and all. 


Coach:  (groaning from across the room) OH. OOPS. I MAY HAVE USED THAT WRAPPING PAPER SCRAP. SORRY. 


We managed to remember the four things. 

When I opened the top that threatened to injure my wind pipe, I realized what he'd done. He used that scrap to write TO:  ERNIE on my 'gift.'  

How did he not notice that his note also said:  BABY BED, SPORT COAT, etc.?  He's not detail oriented, have I mentioned? 

Points to whoever can guess why I needed to be reminded about BABY BED and SPORT COAT. I will share in the next segment of Christmas bloopers. Please share your own bloopers in the comments, if you are like us and you don't celebrate in the desirable but over-rated magazine-perfect style. 

*turns out this is at least a 3 part series. What can I say, Shenanigans are always up to something or getting tripped up somehow. I'm gonna  share all the installments this week. You won't want to miss any of them, but the poem edition might make you howl laugh. Get excited and grab your popcorn.


Nicole MacPherson said...

Poor Reggie! Happy birthday to him but awww...I'm so sorry he's sick. It sounds miserable, and with the stomach flu to boot. I know what you mean, when my son missed school he also was super sad to miss his wrestling as well. Extracurriculars are so important to kids.

Pat Birnie said...

Wow what a juggling act trying to keep everyone healthy. So sorry the flu and Covid hit your house. I know what you mean about being desperate not to get sick. We left to travel Jan 1 so were super careful & low key for the 2 weeks before. Funny how missing basketball is a bigger loss to you than school. Hope everyone else avoids getting sick.

Ernie said...

Nicole - Yes, missing the sports is the worst. Poor poor Reg. I wish I'd just kept him home for the days he needed to stay home. Why can't the school align with the CDC? 10 days? Silly. Plus missing finals stinks. How fun to have that hanging over your head. That stomach thing was so weird. Coach thought that is what he had, but he eventually tested positive too. I want to go live in a hotel. Alone.

Ernie said...

Pat - Yes, the puke thing made everything more confusing. Coach eventually tested positive. So did Lad have it then? Or did he just have the pukes? Ed got annoyed with me for asking so many questions about his time hanging with friends but I think I am just STARVED FOR CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD. Still so nervous that I might get this and miss Joe's funeral. My mom was like well it is being live streamed. Yes - but I want to see his wife and girls and his brothers.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Spending your birthday in isolation is a bummer, especially your 16th! What a crappy thing for Reg. I'm happy he did get some bacon and sausage though; that was a good move on Lad, even if it was personally motivated.
I hate that the sickness has hit your house. The stomach bug part is weird, and I'm sure totally unrelated but a coincidence?
You should UP your vitamin C, vitamin D and Zinc intake ASAP. I know you don't want to miss Joe's service.

Funny about your dad and the Star Wars collectibles. I never would have guessed that he'd want those.

I don't know that we had any bloopers on Christmas, but again, we are a small group, and Coach's parents are here and they are not the 'blooper' type of people. That would be my side. :)

Kari said...

Oh friend, what a month.
I hope you all feel better, and I hope you're well enough to go to your friend's memorial service.

Jenny in WV said...

I have so many random disjointed thoughts on this post.

First, that restaurant booth in the basement seem very convenient although, it looks like the table really needs bused.

I wasn't expecting Star Wars figurines to be the follow-up to Presidential Biographies. It was nice you to make a fun presentation out of "oops your presents haven't arrived". The Yoda backpack is cute.

Siding is a great joint gift! Who wouldn't want a nice looking structurally sound exterior?

I'm going to guess that "Sport Coat" is something that Reg needed to acquire for a winter formal that he may now miss due to quarantine.

And "Baby Bed" is for a tot who still naps but is extremely tall and doesn't comfortably fit in a pack in play.

Suzanne said...

I'm so sorry about all the sickness! Hoping everyone feels better and is back to school soon!

And your husband writing on an already-written on note is HILARIOUS.

Bibliomama said...

"Come here, Leper" HA, this is exactly how it would go in our house. Angus's ex-girlfriend had Covid for her 19th birthday, which sucked but I guess not as much as it would have if they were in Canada instead of the U.S.
I don't think we had any major Christmas bloopers this year - and none have ever topped the time I bought 13yo Angus a shirt that said Baseball and Chill because I didn't know what Netflix and Chill actually meant. That one generated much hilarity.
Hope everybody is healthy soon.

Beth Cotell said...

Poor Reg, what a horrible birthday. And having exams hanging over your head is the worst. I hope you remain Covid free and that everyone is feeling better soon.

Ernie said...

Suz - Yes, a solo 16th b-day stinks. Curly's test results came back today from Friday. She was negative Friday and positive today. If ONLY we'd known, she could've been hanging in the basement with him on his b-day. Today they were reunited. Best buddies. It did my heart good to hear them play ping-pong because Reg playing ping-pong solo down there - so sad.

I may have mis-'spoke' or not - not going back to look if I messed up, but Tank is the "I'd put bacon on that' type, not Lad. Well, Lad isn't turning any food down at the moment, but Tank is more verbal and demanding about it. Tank's all about taking credit too for making Reg's bday better: HERE'S YOUR BACON, LEPER.

The stomach bug is crazy weird. At the same time as covid is all over my house? Just nuts. One tot has a GI problem, where he vomits off and on and he actually just had an endoscopy done last week, then he, his baby sister, and half the kids at the daycare started puking. Was it real for him, or was it his GI ongoing issue? There are layers here and I want them to all go away. Promptly.

I'm hoping that my booster is the thing keeping me healthy, but we know people who've gotten it while boosted. So, no clue.

Speaking of layers, my dad - yes, he's a quirky one. He still has all of our old toys. Fisher Price people and their bus, hospital, village, etc. Being a controller at work, he asked me years ago to make a list of which guy went to which toy. He has it all cataloged. No explanation.

I laughed at 'not the blooper type'. We are blooper makers over here.

Ernie said...

Kari - Thanks. Everyday someone else seems to drop. I'm analyzing every thing I feel right now. Is that a hot flash, or am I getting covid? Did I strain a muscle working out, or is that covid? I got thru another day and since everyone here started last week, I'm hoping I am gonna escape it. This time.

Ernie said...

Jenny - So funny. Disjointed here? How could that be? I laughed so hard at you being surprised to find Star Wars guys to follow up the Presidential biographies that my kids were like WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

The booth has gotten some mileage. It was even in my college dorm room under my lofted bed. It's been a cozy spot for years. Perfect accent piece for the kids to hang out in in our basement.

The siding was a good gift. I mean we hadn't discussed it but I'd rather do stuff like that at this point than have to take back another ill-fitting sweater.

You are not far off with the sport coat, but wrong kid. And baby bed - way off, but I see where you were going with it. Bonus points for playing along. ;)

Ernie said...

Suzanne - I hope this ends here and now - in other words, I don't wanna get it. I might be the last 'man' standing. Thanks to the booster?

That was so odd, even for Coach. Hello, this scrap of paper has already been used. He didn't even cross off what was on there. Just when I think he can't surprise me.

Ernie said...

Ali - I think our kids would get along well. The leper comment, typical Tank. He once told the caddy master that we were Amish because he was the only caddy without a phone.

*We don't do phones until high school and he was caddying in 7th and 8th grade and had to use the main phone to call us to come pick him up. The caddy master was dumbfounded. Tank also ran his own landscaping business. Caddy master was like SHIT KID, YOU RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND YOUR FOLKS WON'T LET YOU GET A PHONE?*

funny about the t-shirt.

I hope the same thing. Tots and babies, and my own people and me, and kids' teammates. Hoping to move on from this EVERYONE HAS IT STAGE really soon. Fingers crossed that I don't ever get it.

Ernie said...

Beth - It is awful to have an exam to worry about. I think it is a no-hurt exam and he is only planning to take the English one. He did awful on a paper right before Christmas. It was a brit lit essay and it wasn't good. It wasn't terrible either, because I read it. He emailed the teacher and asked if she'd just round up his grade by .9 so he could come away with a B for the semester. She won't. I had to help him rewrite the email. Um, clue #1 don't send a terribly written email to your English teacher and ask for help with a grade. Duh.

Fingers crossed that everyone gets healthy and stays that way.

Cheryl said...

I had to laugh at the first pic where you wrote "Um, how about a book"? That is something my mom would have said!

Your kids are all so stinkin' cute! Kinda nice to put a face to a made up name, or a name we occasionally inadvertently hear. lol.

You try so hard with your dad. You actually had the kids act out the star wars figurines that you ordered for him. Me? Hell, I would have bought him a book and called it a day. Actually, he can have my book on Trump, written by his niece, Mary. It's a real eye opener!

Christmas bloopers? "Santa" would often put the wrong names on the gift tags which would make for a very chaotic Christmas morning, pretty much every year. My brothers couldn't understand why they got Barbie dolls, bubblebath and frilly jammies and the girls had no use for that huge hockey game, bb guns and white gym socks. lol.

I hope you stay nice and healthy so you can make it to Joe's service. Not exactly sure what is spreading thru your household like wildfire...growing up, we would call it the creepin' crud.

Baby bed and Sport coat? Hmm, not sure, but I can't wait for the next installment!

Ernie said...

Cheryl - So what you're saying is, I've turned into YOUR mother? LOL. I could star in one of those commercials where people turn into their parents.

Love your observation: cute face with a make up name, except when I occasionally use the real name or share videos when they are called by their legit name. So funny.

I was really about to do a book, but I thought my siblings would have no clue how to buy anything used. That's more of my specialty. Turns out my brother, Mike, who sort of flies under the radar, also bought him Star Wars guys. He never shared which guys he got so we ended up getting one of the same. Oh well. Maybe one of my kids can inherit the extra guy. The kid were supposed to act out the characters I bought, but at the last second Tank, my Star Wars authority, was stumped. He had no idea what the specific characters would've said. That's how it goes when you plan it out on the 3 minute drive over to their house. So it was just a light saber 'fight' with names announced in the background.

Well, the main thing goin' round is the damn covid. The other thing? I guess a stomach bug. No idea where they came from. Some tots got it and some didn't. Then Lad and Coach, but Coach eventually tested positive for covid, so maybe he didn't have the stomach bug.

I don't think my mom messed up Santa gifts when we were little. Probably because my dad had some kind of a spreadsheet to go off of. We made mistakes over here. Still do. Keeps things interesting.

Next installment is tomorrow. Stay tuned.