Awkward things I think created a ruffle between Pat's family and mine:
New Year's Eve 2020: I took Reg to the orthodontist that morning. We bumped into Aunt Leprechaun there and her son Lee. Lee, a year younger than Reg, was getting braces, if memory serves. Aunt Leprechaun and I started chatting.
Me: Mini had braces twice. (blah blah, how old were your other kids when they got braces, etc.) I never had braces, only Marie, and Mike did. (*there were 5 of us, so that means that Ann and Pat never had braces, plus me).
Aunt (who is from Ireland and has 6 siblings): I think some of my siblings should've had braces but never got them - (she said this with a chuckle and a shrug)
Me: Hmm, I think one of my siblings needed braces and never got them, too. (It's clear that I'm referring to Pat here, Aunt's husband. He NEEDED braces but never got them because he was told it would interfere with his flute playing. Pat and Aunt met through their shared involvement with Irish music. Pat teased me endlessly when we were kids. He ALWAYS made fun of me for being super tall. I finally called him Bucky Beaver one day. At last, I'd hit a nerve).
Aunt: That isn't very funny, Ernie. (walks away abruptly).
I was shocked. Thick skin is a requirement in our family and Aunt L has been part of the family over over 20 years. Her husband is the most active teaser in our family. It seemed weird, because I'd just said the same thing that Aunt Leprechaun had said. It really isn't a secret that Pat needed braces and never opted to get them. I was messing around, a regular occurrence in our family.
Mini: Uncle Pat is REALLY good at dishing it out. Everyone in the family is good at laughing at themselves, but Pat never makes fun of himself. He teases all the nieces and nephews endlessly, but he'd never tease one of his own kids.
Early covid game night: We were playing a family game. My sibs were group texting. They all have iPhones, and were sharing their emotions, which show up on my Android as a brand new text.
Tank grabbed my phone after the 80th ping and typed a snarky response to my sister Marie's: "I want my kids to do a video on tic toc so we can go viral." How are we related? We all laughed at Tank's: 'sounds dumb' or 'that'll never happen' text. Aunt Leprechaun must've found that offensive because she texted 'good luck Marie, hope you go viral.' I never clarified that Tank sent the text, because I DIDN'T CARE. There, full disclosure - my sibs think I'm an ass. I'm OK with that.*
Additional background. When Coach and I were contemplating putting an addition on our first house, I kept looking at houses online in a very swanky neighborhood that I wanted to live in.
Coach (shaking his head, laughing): WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY. EVERY TIME YOU'RE PREGNANT YOU DRAG ME TO LOOK AT SOME HOUSE OVER THERE THAT'S SMALLER THAN THE HOUSE WE LIVE IN.
I stumbled upon a house online in said Swank-ville. It was outdated. It had the space, but still crazy pricey. Blaming pregnancy hormones for my fixation. We decided not to do an addition and bought our current house in our same town, not Swank-ville.
Later, Aunt Leprechaun asked if I could save my boxes.
Me: Are you guys planning to move?
Aunt L: NOPE.
She lived down the street from the house we'd just moved out of. We were now across town. We talked about when Mini and her daughter would attend the same school.
I found out Pat and Leprechaun were moving when I saw the sign out front. Can you guess?
They bought the house I'd been drooling over online. No joke. They had/have no idea. Only Coach knows. Aunt Leprechaun shared that they were disappointed to be forced to buy such a crap house. They'd planned to buy a tear-down mansion also in Swank-ville, but Pat's salary was recently restructured. Uncertainty made them reel it in a bit. So she was slumming it in my dream house.
I'm not this creative. I can't make this shit up.
MONDAY IS THE POST THAT STARTED ALL OF THIS - THE ONE THAT CAN'T WRITE ITSELF. HANG IN THERE. IT'S WORTH IT.
OMG, this really is too bizarre to be made up. I don't think I like Leprechaun at all!
This is all crazysauce! I guess you have a familial taste in houses?
How wild that they moved into your dream house, I hope they have their own Mary-Ann over there too! I agree with Martha, I wouldn’t want to be related to (and therefore forced to interact with) Aunt Leprechaun.
I hope your health issue is clearing up or that you’re feeling better from it, at least.
I didn't see that twist coming. I don't know how to process that. Weird on many levels.
Martha- she and I were once very close. I was like SWEET A SIL WHO CAN HANG WITH ME VS MY SISTERS WHO DRIVE ME NUTS. But things ticked me off: hiding the plan to move to Swank-ville, the time she told me that Coach needed to become more interested in Irish music (when my kids took music lessons from she and Pat) to further my kids' interest, the time she asked that we combine 1st communion parties for the girls but it had to be at her house so I had to host Coach's side separate (her fam is in Ireland) and she socialized with her neighbors the entire party . . . I could go on.
Kara- It is crazy . . . but the house she bought was not what they were looking for. It was not the Swank-ville mansion they planned to buy but they gut the kitchen mi utes after they bought it. I liked it because it was on the lower pricing side for that area and I thought maybe we could swing it.
The Catholic grade school I went to is down the street and I wanted to send my kids there. My local sibs all sent their kids there and my parents attend ALL OF THOSE SCHOOL FUNCTIONS AND KNOW ALL MY SIBS' FRIENDS. Many a family gathering has revolved around talk of that school and it's 'stuff.'
Crazy thing is: I hated that school. Was an outcast because we didn't have the money the other families had. I stuck out big time. Kids were MEAN. I wanted my kids to go there when I was still drinking the Kool-Aid.
Guess who Aunt Leprechaun called when her daughter's 'friends' texted her in junior high and said WE WANT YO BE FRIENDLY WITH YOU. BUT NOT FRIENDS? She called me to invite Mini over as often as possible. Mini= nice. Swank-ville girls= not.
This could be a whole OTHER post.
AM- Yes Aunt L is something else. She and Pat are a good pair. Can you imagine the audacity to tell me that my husband needed to become more interested in listening to traditional Irish music? Years ago Pat had the nerve to tell me he thought Mini should choose fiddle or Irish dancing. They didn't know anyone who could be successful at both. I lost my cool and screamed at him- but why coukd I not articulate what I wanted to say: MAYBE WE DON'T DEFINE SUCCESSFUL IN THE SAME WAY.
They have amazing neighbors. Of course. To be honest the house is not really dreamy. But I liked the location. It's just a normal colonial. They've put pricey touches on it though.
I am feeling fine and have doctor visits set up for Wednesday after I get back. I don't expect things to get worse. Ready for some answers though because a form of this has been going on the years.
Ally- Yes weird. I didn't see it coming either. I confronted my parents at that time . . . similar to the Yellowstone confrontation. My parents were adamant that Pat move to Swank-ville and they were party to playing the Jedi mind trick on me, hiding the move. Super strange. I tried to embrace advice from a dear friend: bloom where you're planted. I'm honestly glad that Mini and her cousin didn't attend the same school. Sounded dun at the time, but sometimes space is a good thing.
I love how she was offended at you saying literally the same thing she had just said. And... he couldn't get braces because it would interfere with his flute-playing? I am not familiar with the world in which this is A Thing.
Ali - You make me laugh. Yeah, she and I made the same remark. My brother never getting braces isn't exactly a secret . . . especially if you lay eyes on him. Apparently I hit a nerve. And yeah, Tank got braces when he played flute but I think he was told it would just take some adjusting. Of course, my son's flute playing pales in comparison to my brother's flute playing . . . as does everyone else's IN THE WORLD. Nauseating.
So essentially Pat and Aunt L are easily BUTT HURT. (remember that phrase?)
Goodness. You can't make this up. People who live in glass houses and all....and then the damn dream house. UGHHH.
I DO love the Christmas card pic; you are so very clever and the kids are SO very cute.
Suz - Ha, yes - they ARE butt hurt. Fairly easily too, I might add. What the what? The house thing was just a YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME kind of moment . . . and then to add insult to injury, Leprechaun made sure we all knew how this house was way beneath them. Ouch.
Oh how Halloween costume season used to be so fun. The good ole days.
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