A few hours after my run in with the cops over our parking-lot-like driveway, I drove Curly to basketball. It's 30 minutes away and the practice lasts an hour and a half, so it's one of those "I'll just wait here in the car" kind of situations. Welcome to my world of silly-to-bother-driving-home activities.
I needed a nap anyway. So, after parking in the lot of this recreation facility/health club place, I reclined my seat and snoozed.
A bit later there was a knock at my window. I was a little disoriented. I sat up worried that Curly hadn't been able to find her team. Had they moved to a different court and after 25 minutes of searching, she decided to come and ask me for help? Enough time had passed that this would've really been strange, but hello sleepy brain fog.
There was a teenage girl standing between my car and hers. I fumbled for my keys so I could roll down my window. Um, what happened next still baffles me. She told me that I shouldn't park so close to her car. Huh? I nodded after she dribbled a few more flighty sentences about side-swiping. I gave her a, dismissive wave, like "I GOT IT."
I imitated her little lecture over the phone to Delilah when I got home. Delilah found my voice-over for this flighty teen very effective. I share my version of events with you now in the below video, and you can thank Delilah for the inspiration:
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| Casting crew eliminated these toys from the filming, but we thank everyone for their time. |
A moment later after she drove away and I'd inspected my parking job and I was a tad more coherent, I realized that what I really wanted to say was:
I'M PARKED BETWEEN THE YELLOW LINES - NOT EVEN ON A YELLOW LINE. BETWEEN. THIS IS HOW CARS UTILIZE PARKING SPACES CORRECTLY. I DID NOTHING WRONG HERE. IF YOU FEAR PARKING NEAR OTHER CARS BECAUSE YOU'RE A NEWBY THEN MIGHT I SUGGEST THAT YOU PARK YOUR CAR AT THE VERY EMPTY END OF THE LOT?
and . . .
SMART PEOPLE DON'T WAKE ME UP. EVER.
The crazy thing is that about 5 minutes later, she drove BACK into the lot. This time she drove to the entrance of the building and parked by the front door. I assume that she forgot something in the building. Like a few brain cells, or maybe the rest of her mid-riff sweater (I'm joking - I'm fine with teens dressing in the current fads, I mean I wore knock-off flowered jammer shorts in 1985. Far from revealing or anything, but it's 2021 so whatever).
I considered getting out of my car and walking over to wait for her by her car when she dashed inside so when she came back I could explain that cars park next to one another all the time and side-swiping is not really an issue if you pull in and out of your spot properly. I refrained.
But, I will look for her white jeep next time I drive to basketball. Given the opportunity I WILL park next to her and politely explain why it isn't really necessary to inform people with LOTS of driving experience how to park. I will also encourage her to get more practice if parking near other vehicles makes her uncomfortable.
That's me, friends, just correcting the world one clueless person at a time. It's a big job. Please alert me here of any clueless types you would like corrected. I'll do what I can.
10 comments:
The video cracked me up. I can't wait until you park next to her again!
I appreciate the video visual and the great acting skills! Hopefully she located her lost brain cells! You crack me up.
A new story series “Life Advice from Ernie”, could start with board books with big pictures so flighty teens can follow along.
I’m also on Team DON’T WAKE ME UP UNLESS ITS AN EMERGENCY!!
-AM
Martha - I drove there again last night. I didn't see her. I was really ready to feel like crap for parking too close, but then I realized my parking job was text-book. She just wasn't comfortable having anyone park next to her. Good grief.
AM - It was so silly and I felt like it needed to be re-enacted. I was still somewhat in a fog when I saw her drive back in the lot. Huh? My kids and Coach know better than to wake me. She doesn't fall under that umbrella, but she's lucky I was still sort of out of it, or I might've been snippy with her.
Um like...omiGod! (sorry, one year of Catholic school and I learned that you ALWAYS capitalize God...oh...and the nuns said you NEVER say adore or adorable about anything except God the Father!) Anyway, you like have a really like nice voice...like ya know? lol! (This is all said with me cracking my gum...lol!)
And I really like your video and the hot dog car!
Cheryl - My mom spent time in the convent. She used to correct us if we used the word adorable. Only Jesus can be adored. I still can't use that word without catching myself.
I see more videos in my blog's future. Such a quick way to explain an odd situation, and I do come across odd situations on the regular.
I love a series on your blog Ernie and this didn’t disappoint! I can’t believe the nerve of that TEENAGER to tell you how to park. Even if I thought someone was parked too close, I certainly wouldn’t tell them (much less wake them to tell them!). Entitled much?! Also loved the video reenactment- I reckon that could definitely start to be a thing!
Charlie - Ha, and this happened to be a series that I didn't plan for. It just so happened that 3 incidents clustered together all had a parking theme. I'm glad you enjoyed the video re-enactment. I am not short of possible 'pieces' to use as actors, so maybe we will see this pop up again. It was weird that she told me I parked too close, A) since I didn't and B) since she is an inexperienced driver who doesn't know enough about parking to speak of it. Silly, girl.
Unpopular take: it was out of line of her for sure, but she's a teenager. Going after her if you see her again would not be a good look. I would just let it go.
Ally - I did see her again and no I did not say a thing to her. It was so weird for her to correct my perfect parking and it did irritate me, but I was really not going to play that card.
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