April 28, 2021

a short post: quotes the fam is stuck on lately

These are a few odd actual conversations/remarks or potential conversations that have made us laugh lately:

Months ago, Mini admitted to me that she thought that 'Hyundai' was plural for Honda. As in, a person would use that word if there were more than one Hondas in view. Now when I see a Hyundai, I smile.

The health club recently announced that if you're working out intensely, then you're allowed to work out without your mask. This made Tank realize that this new rule COULD lead to the following  . . . "You don't look like you're working out intensely, get your mask back on."  How embarrassing would that be? Exercise types might have their own definition of intense, right? Anyway, the possibility that someone working at the health club might need to speak this way to a patron who they think is breaking the rules, made us laugh.

Mini just discovered that Tank rated
 his father on Google. Two years ago.
We never knew. Mini chimed it too.

"You've touched me before,"
- A former patient of Coach's was at Easter Sunday mass. When the gentleman and Coach attempted to shake hands or slap one another on the back or have some kind of physical contact while masked, their arms/hands sort of stuttered mid-air. Awkward. The former patient uttered the above phrase. 

Translation:  you can shake my hand, I've been your patient and you've laid hands on me. Instead it came out the above way. Obviously not well thought out. Since we are a goofy bunch, we've adopted this quote as a new family favorite. 

"I'm all yours, Tim. Do whatever you want with me." My caddies say this ALL THE TIME. Credit for coining this phrase goes to a club member. Apparently the guy is goofy and socially awkward. According to my caddies, most of the members cannot stand him. Tank compared him to Michael Scott. This member approached the caddy master, Tim - the most sarcastic guy alive, and said the above. Tim froze, contorting his face to deliver a squished up 'EWW' look. My caddies enjoyed this moment immensely. 

Note:  'Michael Scott' of the golf course is also obsessed (according to Mini -the boys tend to agree) with our family. He told Mini that he thinks Coach and I are raising great kids and that he'd like to meet Coach and I. She thinks this 'we're great' thought stems from a greatly exaggerated story Lad told him years ago about how he (Lad) helped out the member's kids at the pool when they were being picked on.

Um, the guy can't be THAT goofy, if he thinks we're great - right? When I suggest this to my caddies, I encounter eye-rolls.

Anyone have a fun quote that only your family gets, or that has been generated by the pandemic?


Martha said...

This is so funny! I will never look at a Hyundai or Honda again without thinking about this. You've touched me before had my dying too lol!

Ernie said...

Martha - I assume my kids aren't any different from other teenagers, they like to repeat a funny phrase. Tank does the voices to go along with it. They may be mess makers who can't put laundry away to save their souls, but they are entertaining.

Ally Bean said...

Laughing out loud at "she thought that 'Hyundai' was plural for Honda." That is perfect.

As for family sayings, the funniest one we use is thanks to a high school friend who called kitchen tongs... 'wiener tweezers.' šŸ˜Š

Pat Birnie said...

I love this - families’ secret jokes are the best. Hyundai- wow love that. So sweet.

Ernie said...

Ally - Imagine if we had to learn fancy names for plural groups of cars? Too funny. Weiner tweezers might come in handy from time to time.

Ernie said...

Pat - Hyundai seems to be the winner today and I almost left that one out, because it isn't technically a quote just a misunderstood use of a word. But it is funny. I don't think her car salesman brother has heard that one yet.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I'm dying regarding the plural Honda. She's SO pretty. (That is a term we all use when someone has a blonde moment)

I love that you guys have your own secret language/phrases that never die. We have a lot of them, but I can't remember any right now nor would they make any sense.

I can't LOVE the Google review enough. Your kids are HILARIOUS!!

Gigi said...

The Hyundai one kills me! But I have to give it to her, on paper it looks like that would be the case.

Bibliomama said...

"Hey, look at that fleet of Hyundai over there" - genius. Any kid who CAN write a yelp review of their father and doesn't is just lame.
We have in-jokes in our own family, some that endure from my own childhood, and sometimes we just up and steal other families' jokes too. Sometimes our humour is too dark for other people so we have to lie about what a joke actually means.

Ernie said...

Suz - hee hee hee - "she's so pretty". That's great. I've been thinking: what if she thought this about Mazda cars - plural . . . Maserati. "My dad is picking me up in one of our Maserati." That could be interesting.

We questioned Coach once for not putting cheese on our burgers while he was grilling. He got all over sensitive -went back out to the grill and when he came inside he barked, STOP LOOKING AT ME. We.say.this.constantly.

I had no idea Tank did this google review till Mini texted it to me the other day. That kid.

Ernie said...

Gigi - I wonder if it has something to do with her taking 3 years of Latin - maybe she's used to dissecting words? Who knows, but I haven't looked at a Hyundai the same since - imposters.

Ernie said...

Ally - Hilarious. I'd never even thought of looking up my husband on Google. This reminds me a bit of all the funny videos I found a few months back that the kids took of each other on my phone. Turns out they can leave a trail with the help of technology and we find out much later.

I'm so surprised that your family would have dark humor stories in your background. What I would pay to know some of those. ;)

Nicole MacPherson said...

This was very cute and funny! Hyundai is so funny; my kids say "asparagii" for more than one asparagus, just to make me laugh. I love those kind of in-family jokes.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I just died.

Kari said...

OMG, this is so funny. I love that she thought Hyundai was plural of Honda. Now I'm never going to look at a Hyundai the same.

Kara said...

When the dog is doing something incredibly ridiculous, we say "at least he's handsome."

My kids are girls. They don't know anything about car brands. We're looking at quasi junkers for the middle kid right now, and she doesn't know anything about any car, only wants something that's "cute" and doesn't have a "weird" dashboard. She has already rejected a Pontiac that we test drove, because of the "weird" dash.

Ernie said...

Nicole - I loved it when my kids said funny things as toddlers, etc. but the older they get the more entertaining they are. As hard as it was to have everyone home over the pandemic, I noticed when my kids went back to school 5 days a week that my mood was fairly low and that I really MISSED having them around. They're messy as all get out, but hilarious.

Ernie said...

Suz - It was a moment. When he was out on the deck grilling we all looked at each other, WHY SO SENSITIVE ABOUT THE CHEESE? Then he came back in and we were all quiet, and perplexed. THEN the door opened and the barking happened and he will NEVER live it down.

Ernie said...

Kari - Hee hee. The things that never would have occurred to me. Changing a word in plural form for CARS? I was bad at foreign language and I think I would've been bad at English if that's how our words worked.

Ernie said...

Kara - I love 'at least he's handsome' - I think I could borrow that for Tank, of well - any of my kids.

When we bought the Kia in May, we also planned to look at a Jeep and Tank moaned saying that was a chick car. Huh? When we drove home in the Kia, I called Tank and told him we bought the Jeep just to get him wound up. He was relieved we bought the Kia.