March 17, 2021

LuLu: captain of the looney bin

Click here for the prequel to this post it popped up yesterday - a day I don't usually post. One of the first times I met Lulu was at the Midwest championships. Curly was probably 7. Lulu and I stood talking, and Lulu bent down to where Curly was sitting on a chair next to me. 

Lulu:  Honey, you have to get your shoes on right now. You dance in a little bit.

I was STANDING RIGHT THERE. Who the heck does this chick think she is? Her 'hurry up' comment sent Curly into panic mode. I reminded Curly that she was one of the last dancers in the rotation. Not to worry. We weren't going to put her shoes on yet. 

*Curly's shoes were a tad small. No dancer wants to buy new, not-broken-in shoes right before a competition. That's like begging for blisters. Curly used to get VERY attached to shoes and hated getting new ones. Her first pair of hard shoes have holes in the bottom. They're on display in the basement by her stage. At this competition, our plan was to wiggle into her shoes and warm up 10 minutes before she danced. When Bossy-Face got up in my kid's business, we had an hour before she danced.  

The lengths I went to convince her to get new shoes.

It was a fad for awhile to cover your kid's dancing shoes in duct tape, to make them appear shiny. Have I mentioned how much I love the world of Irish dancing?

After I calmed Curly down, I turned to Lulu, who I barely knew:  Yeah, this isn't my first rodeo. Don't EVER tell my kid that it's time to get shoes on. I've totally got this. 

A few years go by, and now I know. I steer clear of Crazy-Pants at all cost. She's the type that would drop lame bait into conversation and then wait for me to bite. I wasn't interested in what she was laying down. She had to find another bait-taker. I greeted her from a distance. 

Curly tolerates Lulu's brat kid. Brat-kid might say to Curly:  I DANCED BETTER THAN YOU TODAY. 

I have no patience. Zero. For that crap. Curly has my blessing to tell Brat-kid where to go. So far she hasn't, because she doesn't want to be rude or disappoint Mary. Brat-kid has kicked over her trophy in disappointment, refused to congratulate Curly when Curly beats her, and pouted over a gazillion things. She's an only child and she bosses her conniving mother around. It ain't pretty. 

Little Curly, age 6. Took 17th in an
under 8 Midwest Championships.
Almost 2 years younger than
 some of the competitors. 

One day about 3 years ago, Curly got in the car after class and was unusually quiet. I asked her what was up. She wouldn't say. 

Me:  Well, I'm going to make you tell me when we get home so you'd save a lot of time sharing whatever it is now.

Curly:  Lulu came into the studio for half of class. (so weird, why is she in the class - parents aren't allowed, but Mary doesn't enforce the rule). She kept whispering with Megan (a 20-something teacher who adored Curly but was wildly immature and spoke way too freely with young girls about her love life, etc. A few years ago, Mary got rid of her. Curly was devastated. I saw things clearly, so I wasn't). I felt like Lulu was talking with Megan about the way I dance because she kept looking at me while she was whispering. At the end of class Lulu asked me if I thought Brat-face was improving - she asked if I knew that she was paying for Brat-face to have 2 hour private lessons with Megan.

I drove home with smoke coming out of my ears. God help the person that tries to intimidate my kid. I called Mary. While Mary sees Brat-face and Lulu, she's over the moon about Curly. Mary distributed a notice that all parents had to sign. No parent allowed in the studio. Hooray. 

This helped, but Mary is wishy washy about sticking to her rules. Lulu thinks that she and Mary are besties. She'll use any excuse to weasel her way into the studio. "OH MAR, WHY DON'T I CHANGE THE WINDOW DISPLAY FOR YOU" or "CAN I USE THE RESTROOM?" - she'd then stick around and not leave. 

Occasionally I'd point out to Mary that Lulu was hanging around in the studio AGAIN, and she'd send out a reminder.

Then in the fall of 2020, I waited in my car during Curly's class rather than going home to do a few things before racing back. Curly was late. After over 2 hours in the car, I was done. The more frustrations that life presents, the more short-fused I feel. Laddie's nonsense was at a peak. I got out of my car and peeked inside the door from the sidewalk.

Curly was helping another student learn a step as a favor to Mary. Meanwhile, Lulu was INSDIE the studio. Hello no parents rule PLUS covid. She wasn't supposed to be inside. 

I didn't hold back. I yelled into the door, over the sound of the music:  WHY IS LULU INSIDE? SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE. I DON'T GET IT.

I walked back to my car. An angry Curly came out a minute later. When she got in the car, I told her that even if I made her mad -I was right. Lulu had no business being in there and I was sick of it. 

As I started to drive away, Lulu left the studio and was walking on the sidewalk to her car. I slowed down (real slow), rolled down my window, and shouted:  


Then I drove away knowing she heard me. Curly was upset with me. My phone rang. It was Mary. The call was on Bluetooth. 

Mary:  I can tell that Curly was upset when she left and I want to tell her don't be mad at your mom. Your mom's right. Lulu doesn't belong in here. She breaks the rules all the time. 

Curly felt better. 

At the next class, Mary had a sandwich board on the sidewalk with a chalk reminder:  IF YOU'RE NOT A STUDENT IN MY CLASS, YOU CANNOT ENTER.

Curly was so happy. She loves that Mary finally posted a sign. As for me, there's nothing like letting off a little steam, taking matters into your own hands, and HOLLERING AT LULU WHO THINKS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO HER. I promise to record my next encounter with Lulu. 

Mini used to dance. She knows Lulu. Curly busted a gut telling Mini the story. Mini was thrilled. 

Anyone else know a parent or coworker who thinks the rules don't apply to them? 


Suz said...

She must have the biggest balls ever. THE NERVE.
I'm So proud of you for saying something. What's the phrase: See something, say something? :)

When I was a girl scout leader, I had ONE mom who always thought she should get first dibs on all the Cookie booths when it was GS cookie season. She was very rude about it. Why did she think she should get first dibs? Because her daughter was involved in every freaking club/sport possible and was clearly overextended. I had enough and let her have it one year and she broke down crying because she TOO was overextended. No excuse for being rude though. I still run into her in town occasionally and I always look the other way in case I make her cry again. HA.

Eli said...

Go you, saying something! I'm someone who *wishes* I would say something like that to the people who bother me, but instead, usually I just fume about it for days.

I wonder how long the sign will keep LuLu out?

Pat Birnie said...

Wow. Agreed she must have some balls. I cannot imagine saying something like that to a kid when their mother is standing right there?! So glad you spoke up Ernie, but I gotta say, you seem to attract the crazies....

Ernie said...

Suz - Lulu does have a lot of nerve. She expects everyone to bow down to her. Not sure why. She's a piece of work to say the least. My other mom friends at the dance school are super grateful not to have a kid in her competition. Curly used to always beat her - not even close. Curly's presence sort of prompted the mom to get her kid up to par, thus 2 hour private lessons. Now Brat-face beats Curly sometimes. She beat her at the Thanksgiving competition when Curly was robbed by that ONE LOUSY judge. BF didn't dance well that day at all. The teacher said she didn't come close to dancing as well as Curly. Sigh.

Oh my gosh - so funny about the girl scout mom breaking down. Too bad you didn't know me in your GS days. I buy $50 of cookies from my neighbor's daughter. And my kids complain that 10 boxes is not enough.

My friend always says SEE CRAZY COMING, CROSS THE STREET. So, you are wise to keep your distance. I do that with Mary Ann, oh wait - I live across the street. Not exactly the same thing though.

Ernie said...

Eli - I have my fuming times too, when it makes no sense to speak up, or Coach won't let me. Sometimes it isn't worth it, but knowing that Mary is hip to Lulu's jive and so is EVERYONE else in the school (practically) I figured nothing to lose.

I wonder the same thing. How long before she just does what she wants again?

Ernie said...

Pat - She is so bazaar. Thinking her instructions are just what we needed. Hardly. I'm glad she knows where I stand with her, because she sort of kisses up to everyone and behaves like she's the top dog and then comes across very condescending. I can't stomach it.

My friend, Becky, the one who also babysits says the same thing (because of the crazy people I have babysat for in the past - this year's families are all top notch), the crazies seek me out. Keeps life interesting.

Anonymous said...

I don’t even know Lulu and I already hate her! Yes please record and share the next time you have to call her out on her crap, haha. How nice of Mary to call and smooth things over with your daughter. Those holy dance shoes are impressive, to think of all of the hours and effort poured into them to make them so worn, makes them beautiful.

Kara said...

Is it bad that I love hearing about the bad behavior of others? Keep the crazy stories coming!

Beth Cotell said...

What a fabulous story!!!!! I love that you stood up for yourself. Mary needs your courage! :)

Ally Bean said...

I love this post. I love that you yelled at "LULU WHO THINKS THE RULES DON'T APPLY TO HER." I love that sometimes the arrogant rule-breakers get their comeuppance. Yep, this is good blogging here. Thanks for sharing your story, it was a lulu. 😉

Ernie said...

AM - I will be honest - at first I thought Mary was calling to tell me that I shouldn't be shouting at other dance moms. I got a wee case of the butterflies. But yes- it was very helpful that she told Curly that I was right to put Lulu in her place. I love Mary to pieces, but I do wish she'd stick to her guns more.

Oh, those shoes. Curly was like the princess and the pea. New shoes, which were often hand me downs from Mini so already broken in, made her feel not quite right. Something was always off. She's better about it now.

Ernie said...

Kara - I think if people are going to act crazy, then the rest of us should be allowed to sit back and enjoy the entertainment. I have more crazy people stories than I know what to do with.

Ernie said...

Beth - Thanks, Beth. OHG even though Curly was initially ticked at me, the longer we were in the car (and after Mary had given my fit the OK) Curly started to giggled about how great it was. She was bursting to tell the other kids when we got home. My kids have seen me in action, and they could totally picture it. There was some celebrating. Probably best not to encourage me, but I sometimes feel to say what needs to be said.

And YES - totally agree that Mary needs to let that woman know she can't fudge on the rules just because she thinks she's the bomb.

Ernie said...

Ally - OH, I love the word comeuppance. I admit that it was a great feeling. I held back way too long. Only complaining through Mary. This time, I let it fly. The world can be a frustrating place and my frustrations just happened to bubble over that night.

She is really quite the loon. Coach had to go into the studio at drop off time to pay Mary or carry in a case of waters (we're more the 'get out of the moving car, places to be and all - see you in a few hours' type). Lulu chased him back to his car to introduce herself to him (he isn't the one that usually goes to competitions). He was like WEIRD. AM I SUPPOSED TO CARE WHO YOU ARE? She's really an odd duck.