I'm outing myself as a total clueless idiot here. It's OK to laugh. I'm laughing at me with you.
|This is the recipe - I typed it up at the end |
of this post. I mean I know this is a well-loved
recipe, but is it me or does it look like a treasure map?
A treasure map of AWESEOMENESS!
When classes shut down the 2nd time, she texted me and told me she was doing classes on FB live. I Venmo her cash each month - well worth it . . . because I DID ingest a lot of Rocky Road Fudge Bars at Christmas.Just after Thanksgiving I got to start doing her classes in my family room. Well, this situation is not without its challenges, such as . . .
CROWD CONTROL: If I don't get the class done BEFORE my kids are awake, then I get to sweat profusely AND listen to their input.
kids: WAIT, DID I JUST HEAR KIM SAY 'YOU GOT THIS, LADIES. LET'S GO. PUSH IT' - spoken in a mocking, high-pitched female voice. I live with comedians, so that's fun.
Really it's just the one issue, but it manifests itself in different irritating ways. It isn't always fabulous to have people ask you stuff while you're working out like DO WE HAVE ANY MORE BAGELS? WHAT TIME ARE THE BABIES GETTING HERE? CAN I TAKE A CAR TO E-LEARN AT JEANETTE'S TODAY? HOW COME YOU AREN'T DOING THE SAME EXERSIZE THAT THEY'RE DOING? DID KIM JUST SAY 'FUCK YEAH'? (no, Kim said 'FUN, YEAH?' but you are listening from another room while chomping loudly on your cereal. Go away.)
The first time I was going to attempt a live class and not just a prerecorded video, I spent a little too much time on my laptop. I raced into the family room at the last minute and put my laptop in front of the TV . . . I later learned that I could connect it to the TV and then watch my workout on the larger screen. Anyone else love the comforts of 2021?
Anyway, the class was supposed to start in like 1 minute. I wasn't sure if there was a trick to getting on Facebook Live, since I'd never done anything live on 'The' Facebook, being totally not interested in that sort of thing and embracing my old age and all.
I couldn't find the class. Like was there a special code? A different page? Did I need to click something?
In my panic, I started to cuss a blue streak. I texted Kim. I'M HERE. HOW DO I GET TO THE CLASS? I sent the same message on FB messenger, because I'm a persistent pest.
I was hollering at my kids to help me. They were like:
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
Then, Kim's face appeared and I clicked on the video live screen and I could see her. She read my text and she said to all the people viewing: ERNIE'S TRYING FB LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME, OK - ARE YOU HERE ERNIE? She waved.
I thought she could see me.
I was prepared for her to see me. Friends, I had straightened my family room EXPECTING her to be able to see into the room.
*I'm waiting for you to catch your breath from laughing so hard
at with me.*
You know that sticker on side mirrors on cars: OBJECTS MIGHT APPEAR CLOSER THAN THEY ARE . . . or something. Well, I MIGHT APPEAR OLDER THAN I AM. Damn it.
I waved back at Kim and hollered loudly to her: YEAH, KIM. I GOT IT. I'M HERE.
I was lucky not to have to resuscitate my offspring as they all fell to the floor dying of their unending laughter. Each kid who didn't witness my snafu was TOLD by the other siblings who DID witness my snafu. The laughing pretty much went on for my entire class. Along with wiseass remarks like: HI KIM! WAVE MOMMY - I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WANTS YOU TO WAVE AT HER.
When exactly did I become my grandmother? She used to think my outgoing answering machine message WAS me and the messages she'd leave were filled with frustration. She heard me answer the phone and then I stopped talking and nothing made any sense.
She was over 80. I'm not.
Kim doesn't need to know I thought she could peer into my house through her computer, so if you stumble onto her videos on FB don't let it slip.
The funny (relatively funny, because what's funnier than me thinking she could see me) thing is that I thought the classes I was making up on my own as I recalled moves we did in classes in the past were bad-ass. WRONG.
What Kim does know (because I texted her, since I thought it was so funny) is that when Tank saw me devouring the Rocky Road Fudge Bars on Christmas, he threatened to text Kim. HEY, GUYS. WE GOTTA GET IN TOUCH WITH KIM HERE. THIS IS OUTTA CONTROL. CUT MOMMY OFF.
Anyone else with a FB or other new-age embarrassment to share?
Drumroll . . . as promised here is the recipe. The original is tough to read, so I typed it up. Enjoy and please invite me over if you are serving these (GF of course).
Rocky Road Fudge Bars
½ cup butter or margarine
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 cup sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ to 1 cup chopped nuts
1 tsp. Baking powder
1 tsp vanilla
8 oz cream cheese softened (save 2 oz for frosting)
½ cup sugar
2 Tablespoon flour
¼ cup butter or margarine softened
½ tsp vanilla
¼ cup chopped nuts
6 oz (1 cup) chocolate chips
¼ cup better or margarine
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
Remaining 2 oz cream cheese
¼ cup milk
3 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups mini-marshmallows
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Grease (not oil) and flour bottom and sides of a 9 x 13 pan.
In a large saucepan over low-heat, melt ½ cut butter and 1 oz chocolate. Lightly spoon flour into measuring cup (level off). Add remaining bar ingredients: mix well. Spread in prepared pan.
In small bowl, combine 6 oz cream cheese with the next 5 filling ingredients. Beat one minute at medium speed until smooth and fluffy: stir in nuts. Spread over chocolate mixture in pan. Sprinkle with chocolate pieces.
Bake 25-35 minutes till toothpick comes out clean. Remove from oven; sprinkle with marshmallows. Bake 2 or more minutes longer.
Meanwhile in a large pan over low heat, melt ¼ cup butter, 1 oz chocolate and remaining cream cheese and milk. Stir in powdered sugar and vanilla till smooth. Pour over marshmallows and swirl together (I use a fork to combine melted marshmallows and warm chocolate mixture).
Cool and cut.
Store in refrigerator, or freeze. Makes 3-4 dozen.