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January 15, 2021

talent and I'd put that on a t-shirt

Ann, my sister, is an amazing artist. As a kid, I used to follow her around and try to draw the still life stuff she set up. I wanted to draw like her. Shit, I would've settled for her art supplies. The real deal. 

In high school, she took classes at the Chicago Art Institute. Dad told her he wouldn't pay for someone to draw pictures in college. She's a nurse. 

Even though Mom told Ann that imitation was the highest form of flattery, Ann sneered at me. Chased me away. Hollered for Mom if I tried to watch what she was doing. Shock. 

I can draw a little bit (Dad's aunt was an artist), but not as well as Ann. I sketched each of our kids when they were babies. Lad's sketch was done while he was sleeping, because eyes are easier to draw when closed. That's the kind of artist I am, "Excuse me Mona Lisa, can you just close those wide-set eyes of yours?"

I scanned my sketches onto the front of my baptismal invitations. It was like a postcard. The flipside had the invite details. My MIL hung the invitation on her fridge facing the sketch towards the fridge and the wording, that was no longer relevant because the baptism had come and gone like years earlier, faced out for people to 'admire'?  When we visited their house, I flipped the invitation over so my sketch was visible. God forbid we highlight someone's attempt at talent verses the word baptism. *sigh*

These little faces decorate the upstairs hallway. Ed's frame is the very light sketch. I think I was afraid to make a mistake.
Anyway, Mini has a gift. She's amazing. 

The other day, I went into the girls' room and I saw a sketch on Mini's desk. Over break, she should've done ACT prep work. It wasn't on my radar. I was a little annoyed that she was in her room so much. Then I saw this sketch. Oh. Wow. 

Timothee Chalamet


She also did the bird (below) with markers that the girls got for Christmas. You can blend them and stuff. They were really pricey, so they better do some blending and maybe clean the girls room too. She was ticked that she added the fish in the bird's beak, because well that fish didn't turn out so great and she felt it ruined the whole thing. 

Oh, if it weren't for that dang fish
that looks more like a dog's bone.

Ed just saw the sketch of the actor tonight. He was like:  MINI YOU SHOULD PUT THIS ON INSTAGRAM AND SELL YOUR STUFF. 

Mini:  I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 

Tank's talent - not often seen on canvas. He has more comedic talent. This 'funny' that he made was somewhat unintentional, but I'm lumping it in here with Mini's art talent because it struck me as hilarious and I'm counting it as the same theme.

The kids have been sort of complaining about how Coach grills. The man has a phobia of germs. He should never be allowed near raw meat. He practically wears a hazmat suit when he encounters it. Translation:  he tends to overcook stuff. 

The kids were embarrassed because I sort of outed the issue. They've been telling me that he needs some new grilling techniques. I, ahem, mentioned their thoughts . . . in a round about way while covering true identities of the haters (of his grilling). They shot me daggers. But really, it ended up being a very good conversation where we all openly discussed our thoughts on Coach's grilling and because I'm always open game- my tendency to overuse certain recipes in my fabulous rotation of outstanding meals. 

YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU BUNCH OF INGRATES, I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT DADDY? Kidding, I didn't say that/feel that way AT ALL. We all survived the critique session.

Coach and I have been under an incredible amount of stress this past week - and this silly 'dad dries stuff when he grills' topic was light and fluffy, to us. The kids feared hurting Daddy's feelings, but they didn't get that we were glad for the distraction. 

ANYWAY, afterwards Ed was beating me with a wet noodle for letting the cat out of the bag or in this case the chicken out from under the overused and misunderstood barbeque sauce. He also turned on Tank for being so honest and nit-picky. Tank famously said:

I AM NOT A BULL SHITTER

but it sounded more like:

I'M A NOBLE SHITTER. 

I was in stitches. Of course. You saw it here first, but soon - I'm seeing this on t-shirts. Yes? Pre-orders?

16 comments:

Nicole MacPherson said...

Those pictures are amazing! I am a person who can draw a stick person really well; I am so impressed by visual artistry!

Kari Wagner Hoban said...

HOLY CRAP, THOSE ARE AMAZING. Both yours and hers. That is so impressive. She should definitely sell her work. I have a blogging friend who's niece does commission drawings of families when they send her the pictures.

I am trying to get Ella to do something similar only she does drawing on her Ipad. Trying to make greeting cards or something like that? I am horrible at the tech end of it, so hopefully, something will come out of it.

BRAVA, MINI! AUNTIE BITCHES IS PROUD OF YOU!

Eli said...

That is an incredible drawing!

Ernie said...

Nicole - There's nothing like a good stick figure.

Coach just asked Mini if she could draw a face without looking at a photo or a person. She was like, 'well . . . that's not really my thing.' I think she thought he was challenging her to do something harder. I explained to her that he just doesn't get artsy stuff. When we were first married, I took a sewing class. He kept asking me how I made the fabric or designed it or something. I can't think of his wording, but eventually I realized that he thought I WOVE MY OWN MATERIAL. Um, what? This isn't the 1800's.

Ally Bean said...

The drawings are beautiful. Talk about talent. As for grilling... my father was the same way as Coach. If given the chance he'd overcook anything, but on a grill he was at his charred into oblivion best. I get your problem.

Ernie said...

Kari - You signing off as Auntie Bitches got me. My talent cannot hold a candle to Mini's. Curly just had a little discussion (started by Coach) about my ability vs. Mini's. Um, what (this is a theme here in my Coach conversations if you note the above response to Nicole)? Curly came down on the side that Mommy is probably a better artist. A) not true. B) someone just happens to LIKE Mommy a lot and probably didn't want to hurt her feelings. C) Mini saw it for what it was: a vote from my biggest fan, but this did nothing for the sister relationship. Thanks, Coach. *I was not home when this discussion/voting happened.

Ernie said...

Eli - I agree, Mini just whipped that up like no big deal. I wish she had more time to do more art classes in high school. She took a drawing class spring semester, but it was cut short because of covid. She has her schedule all mapped out and is too focused on AP classes, etc. for her college application and credit, etc.

Ernie said...

Ally - Thanks. Yes, the GRILLING. It is definitely edible but now that Ed has been away at college and his fraternity has a chef he is aware that things can be done a little less, AND he is now aware that Italian dressing or barbeque are not the only options.

Kara said...

I cannot draw at all. But you clearly can, and so can Mini. The bird is wonderful.

One of my brothers did mission work in Ecuador and during that time he consumed some under cooked chicken. Since that traumatic experience, he will only eat poultry if it is severely overdone.

Ernie said...

Kara - I agree, I vote she uses white out for the fish-wrong-a-much in the bird's mouth . . . she rolled her eyes at that. As only a true artist.

Your brother can come here for dinner and feast. I kid, first of all - that is awful. Secondly, Coach's chicken really isn't THAT bad, but I think a variety of flavor combined with a little less time on the grill is in order.

Suz said...

I *sighed* at your lovely drawings of all your babies. They are incredible and very sentimental. What the hell is wrong with your Mother In law? Wait, we don't have time for that....
The sketches that Mini did are outstanding. She should go into art....like right now and don't you tell her she can't!
I'm 'crafty', but not artsy. Lolo has a great eye for drawing....goodness if only I could sway her into that field instead of where she is heading.
Tank is funny! I mean even as a Noble Shitter, he's funny. Poor Coach. If only he could come here and get some grilling lessons from the best griller on the planet. Maybe the boys should start trying their hand as grill master?

Ernie said...

Suz - Ha. Yes, not enough space here to discuss my MIL. My college roomie gave me a notepad and pencils when we graduated with a little note "remember you like to draw." As life gets busy, it is something I forget. Watching the stuff Mini comes up with is so fun. When she was younger I gave her the best advice my grade school teacher gave me, turn what you are drawing upside down so you draw what you see and not what you think you see. Didn't think you'd get art advice here today, did you? I don't think Mini wants to study art in college, but I hope she will take some classes. Maybe a minor.

I hope Lolo gets in touch with her artsy side and follows that into a career. Guessing that isn't happening.

Tank is a crack up. His friends gave him stuff for Chrismtas and he's like, OH. I GUESS I NEED TO GET THEM SOMETHING. I suggested a t-shirt with our new catch phrase. With Tank's name under it, like yeah - this guy said this. Sort of.

Long story, but Mark, a guy we've known since he was in junior college (and worked for Coach for YEARS) had Ed over Monday night for grill lessons. That's what sort of started the conversation. Mark told Ed when he bumped into him at the health club that Tank, Lad, and Ed had all spoken to him about Coach's lacking grill skills. Mark decided time for an intervention. If Coach and I ever bump into you guys in FL, your grill master Coach can give some grill lessons . . . subconsciously? Unobviously?

Gigi said...

Your and Mini's talent is amazing.

I would suggest a meat thermometer for Coach and a cheat sheet with the perfect internal temperature for various meats. The Husband uses a meat thermometer whether he is grilling or cooking in the kitchen - as long as the meat reaches that temperature it is safe. It's near impossible to overcook meat using one.

Ernie said...

Gigi- thanks. We both know Mini is the true talent and I'm OK with that.

I think Ed contemplated giving Coach a meat thermometer for Christmas. Might need to revisit that.

Charlie said...

Amazing drawings from both of you. I am envious as I can hardly draw a straight line!

Ernie said...

Charlie - Thanks. I'm hopeful that Mini gives her art talent more time. Hard to do when you are also a good student with other interests. Such a gift to have that to fall back on and to relieve stress. She said when she drew in her hs class last year she totally lost track of time.

Straight lines are over-rated . . . that's why God created rulers. ;)