Vanilla and the video

Turns out Mini's election video on Instagram got some attention. (this election thing happened in late September).

Vanilla, the MOM from across the street, forwarded Mini's video to another mom:  Nettie. Nettie's daughter DeeDee is one of Mini's closest friends. DeeDee and Mini:  best friends at Catholic School, where Mini attended through 2nd grade. Present day:  DeeDee and Mini are at the same high school, and have picked up right where they left off.

Meanwhile, Bean across the street, who attends a different high school (Catholic), knows DeeDee from grade school - which means Nettie and Vanilla know each other.  

Vanilla forwarded Mini's video to Nettie with this message:  SO THIS IS MEAN, RIGHT?

Just so we're all on the same page, a grown-ass woman who lives across the street from us, but doesn't speak to us for no ACTUAL reason . . . contacted another mom (Nettie) and asked her if she thought Mini was being mean. 

Mini makes fun of herself in the video for NOT having a dating life. How was THAT mean?

A mom I sit for (aka Twins' Mom) teaches at the high school. She told me before this election stuff that she wasn't sure which group of girls Mini hangs out with the most because she always sees her with a different group. Many girls are happy to chat with Mini. She has a very close-knit group of friends (BFF, DeeDee, Giggle-puss, Jeanie, and Addison), but she's friendly with most of her class.  

Anyway, I wanted to fight Vanilla. I would totally win. (I have visions of all of you shaking your heads saying, "NOT THE POINT"). I have enough anger about the other stressful shit going on in my life that I have ZERO patience for petty bull shit. 

Maybe Tank isn't the only boxer in the family.
Anyone out there who hasn't read this one? It's pretty humorous.

I MUST confront this woman. Tank is all in- ready to cross the street with me.  

Mini WAS fired up and ready to cross the street that night, but a few days later she became a little hesitant - not wanting to make Nettie look bad. Mini fears that it'll look as if Nettie called us up and told us about Vanilla questioning the video. I told Mini that Nettie can fend for herself. 

I have no problem telling Vanilla that DeeDee was in the room when her mom got the video and was like, "Huh, what's this?" causing DeeDee to bring her up to speed.  

People, hold me back.  This witch already doesn't give us the time of day, so nothing to lose. I might hand deliver her a magazine about available hobbies for her to peruse since she clearly has too much time on her hands.

I assume it's the middle child in me, but I have to speak up. Coach is totally OPPOSED. Don't stoop to her level, blah blah. Stooping to her level would be to ask another mom to weigh in on something Bean was involved in. BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT BEAN DOES.

I say take the bull by the horns.  

Weeks went by. I waited for my chance. I rehearsed my verbal assault while I cleaned the house. Finally one day, Tank came running in the house: 

Vanilla is out walking her dog. It's time. 

The babies had just been picked up. I got my shoes and my coat. I was ready. I invited Mini to join me, but she took a pass. Tank WANTED to join me, but Coach had just called. He was dropping off the Great White to get air in the tire and the people needed him to leave the car (it is all we do lately, get cars fixed). Tank had to go pick him up.

Vanilla walked in the opposite direction. Tank drove away and then called me to say she was heading back around towards us. "Over and out, the eagle flies at midnight."

I marched across the street when I saw her. She started to look a little uncomfortable the closer I got . . . still six feet. 

Me:  Hey, so . . . Mini is friends with DeeDee. DeeDee told her that you sent Mini's video to Nettie to ask her if Mini was mean.

Vanilla:  No, I wondered if the OTHER girl was mean. (So, the other girl, aka Tracey Glick goes to public school, doubt they have ever crossed paths and MINI SAID THERE WAS NO CHANCE SHE WAS CURIOUS ABOUT TRACEY. I believe her).

Me:  Whatever. You were asking about Mini. That's the way you worded it.

Vanilla:  Well, there's no tone in text. (I wanted to say, YOU KNOW WHAT DOES HAVE TONE? MY BICEPS AND YOU'LL KNOW MORE WHEN I KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF . . . kidding, a little).

Me:  I think it's super odd for an adult to follow what teenagers are doing on Instagram and then talk to other adults about it. 

Vanilla:  Well, it's public (Mini later pointed out that IT WASN'T PUBLIC, but Bean had been following her, isn't any longer - she thought it was weird since Bean cannot even say howdy from her yard. Here's where my lack of social media knowledge cost me).

Me:  Listen, Mini isn't mean. Everybody likes her. She has a self-deprecating sense of humor. I find your interest in her Instagram hard to grasp.

Vanilla:  Understood.

Well, that felt good. 

I intended to say 'Get a hobby' but I don't think I did. 

Coach:  YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. 

Me: Oh yeah, what're you gonna do about it? 

Kidding, but I have started wearing a black leather jacket and I'm keeping cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of my white t-shirt, and a blade in my sock in case Mary Ann wants to rumble one day.

Anybody else feel like a freak magnet? Where are all the normal people?