November 11, 2020

Vanilla and the video

Turns out Mini's election video on Instagram got some attention. (this election thing happened in late September).

Vanilla, the MOM from across the street, forwarded Mini's video to another mom:  Nettie. Nettie's daughter DeeDee is one of Mini's closest friends. DeeDee and Mini:  best friends at Catholic School, where Mini attended through 2nd grade. Present day:  DeeDee and Mini are at the same high school, and have picked up right where they left off.

Meanwhile, Bean across the street, who attends a different high school (Catholic), knows DeeDee from grade school - which means Nettie and Vanilla know each other.  

Vanilla forwarded Mini's video to Nettie with this message:  SO THIS IS MEAN, RIGHT?

Just so we're all on the same page, a grown-ass woman who lives across the street from us, but doesn't speak to us for no ACTUAL reason . . . contacted another mom (Nettie) and asked her if she thought Mini was being mean. 

Mini makes fun of herself in the video for NOT having a dating life. How was THAT mean?

A mom I sit for (aka Twins' Mom) teaches at the high school. She told me before this election stuff that she wasn't sure which group of girls Mini hangs out with the most because she always sees her with a different group. Many girls are happy to chat with Mini. She has a very close-knit group of friends (BFF, DeeDee, Giggle-puss, Jeanie, and Addison), but she's friendly with most of her class.  

Anyway, I wanted to fight Vanilla. I would totally win. (I have visions of all of you shaking your heads saying, "NOT THE POINT"). I have enough anger about the other stressful shit going on in my life that I have ZERO patience for petty bull shit. 

Maybe Tank isn't the only boxer in the family.
Anyone out there who hasn't read this one? It's pretty humorous.

I MUST confront this woman. Tank is all in- ready to cross the street with me.  

Mini WAS fired up and ready to cross the street that night, but a few days later she became a little hesitant - not wanting to make Nettie look bad. Mini fears that it'll look as if Nettie called us up and told us about Vanilla questioning the video. I told Mini that Nettie can fend for herself. 

I have no problem telling Vanilla that DeeDee was in the room when her mom got the video and was like, "Huh, what's this?" causing DeeDee to bring her up to speed.  

People, hold me back.  This witch already doesn't give us the time of day, so nothing to lose. I might hand deliver her a magazine about available hobbies for her to peruse since she clearly has too much time on her hands.

I assume it's the middle child in me, but I have to speak up. Coach is totally OPPOSED. Don't stoop to her level, blah blah. Stooping to her level would be to ask another mom to weigh in on something Bean was involved in. BUT I DON'T CARE WHAT BEAN DOES.

I say take the bull by the horns.  

Weeks went by. I waited for my chance. I rehearsed my verbal assault while I cleaned the house. Finally one day, Tank came running in the house: 

Vanilla is out walking her dog. It's time. 

The babies had just been picked up. I got my shoes and my coat. I was ready. I invited Mini to join me, but she took a pass. Tank WANTED to join me, but Coach had just called. He was dropping off the Great White to get air in the tire and the people needed him to leave the car (it is all we do lately, get cars fixed). Tank had to go pick him up.

Vanilla walked in the opposite direction. Tank drove away and then called me to say she was heading back around towards us. "Over and out, the eagle flies at midnight."

I marched across the street when I saw her. She started to look a little uncomfortable the closer I got . . . still six feet. 

Me:  Hey, so . . . Mini is friends with DeeDee. DeeDee told her that you sent Mini's video to Nettie to ask her if Mini was mean.

Vanilla:  No, I wondered if the OTHER girl was mean. (So, the other girl, aka Tracey Glick goes to public school, doubt they have ever crossed paths and MINI SAID THERE WAS NO CHANCE SHE WAS CURIOUS ABOUT TRACEY. I believe her).

Me:  Whatever. You were asking about Mini. That's the way you worded it.

Vanilla:  Well, there's no tone in text. (I wanted to say, YOU KNOW WHAT DOES HAVE TONE? MY BICEPS AND YOU'LL KNOW MORE WHEN I KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF . . . kidding, a little).

Me:  I think it's super odd for an adult to follow what teenagers are doing on Instagram and then talk to other adults about it. 

Vanilla:  Well, it's public (Mini later pointed out that IT WASN'T PUBLIC, but Bean had been following her, isn't any longer - she thought it was weird since Bean cannot even say howdy from her yard. Here's where my lack of social media knowledge cost me).

Me:  Listen, Mini isn't mean. Everybody likes her. She has a self-deprecating sense of humor. I find your interest in her Instagram hard to grasp.

Vanilla:  Understood.

Well, that felt good. 

I intended to say 'Get a hobby' but I don't think I did. 


Me: Oh yeah, what're you gonna do about it? 

Kidding, but I have started wearing a black leather jacket and I'm keeping cigarettes rolled up in the sleeve of my white t-shirt, and a blade in my sock in case Mary Ann wants to rumble one day.

Anybody else feel like a freak magnet? Where are all the normal people?


Suz said...

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Why the eff are adults caring what other people's kids are doing on social media??? It doesn't have anything to do with YOU!

I'm totally on team Ernie. Oh, and Team Tank! HA. I love his enthusiasm for his mom getting into confrontations. It's 2020-we need more of that.

Ernie said...

Suz- Thanks. I hope I'm done with not speaking up. I don't do well with saying nothing. Per Coach's request I have rarely told his folks to go jump. Now I just don't bother with them. Too much left unsaid. I've warned him a chat with his folks is on my radar.

I digress.

I do not for a minute buy her story of being curious about the other girl's possible mean streak. And why is Bean even following Mini? She hasn't said BOO to her in years. People are creepy. Apples falling not far from trees here.

Charlie said...

I came to the comments to say proud of you Ernie too!! Well done! I would have confronted her in exactly the same way and I’m so glad you did, because people like that need a reality check to tell them it’s not ok and they will get found out. Go Ernie! Anyone messes with your kids they are fair game as far as I am concerned

Ernie said...

Charlie - Thanks. I don't use social media much, but I cannot imagine tracking someone else's kid. That woman is a whack job and I'm glad that she now knows that I know what she's all about (as if I didn't already).

Ally Bean said...


I'm not sure this is the sort of sentence I can condone. Just saying... 😉

Anonymous said...

Go Ernie! Your neighbor ladies have way too much time on their hands. We just kind of smile and wave at the people on our street, nobody gets in anybody’s business. None of my close neighbors have kids though so that probably helps, I assume once my kids start having friends over and things, I might run into some weirdo moms too. I feel like we (your internet crew) know you well enough to say ITS NOT YOU, it’s definitely them 😂
I’ll be taking notes for the day that I might have to confront some whack job patents.

Ernie said...

Ally - OK, but this is my approach to neighbors' kids. I don't bother myself with their pages/their social media. I don't wonder what they are up to or who they hang out with, because it's not my business. 'I don't care what Bean does' is how I summarize that. She's not my kid.

Ernie said...

AM - Too much time is exactly right. It also seems like she is trying to catch my kid at being a bad kid. She would be hard pressed to accomplish this. She wants to police a kid that she doesn't have anything to do with? How strange. She revealed her true colors and I'm glad I let her know that I know what she's about.

I hope your parent and kid interactions are smooth sailing. Wacky parents are not always easy to identify early on. I've learned this from my babysitting families.

Sometimes people are harmless but clueless. I once had a mom who texted me to say "Let's not forget to include Matt for these playdates." Um, she had boy/girl twins and she expected me to invite the boy twin whenever Curly invited the sister twin over. They were in 1st grade and Curly really only wanted to play with the sister. The boy was rough and not into the same games. Totally acceptable as far as I was concerned. Her wording: 'let's not forget' was really pointed at me - she was obviously NOT forgetting, since he lived with her and was present whenever she invited Curly over. (throws hands up) Good luck!

Cheryl said...

You made me laugh out loud with this one! You are such a mama bear, and that's awesome! You really love your kids and have their back.

I hope they know that and appreciate you for it...maybe not now. But one day, they will have kids of their own and think back.."what a kick-ass mom we had growing up!".

You so remind me of my mom. Thanks! :)

Ernie said...

Cheryl - Thanks so much. My real, legit last name is a real-live word. It is easily found on a bunch of apparel at the moment, so I guess that means it's cool to be us. Anyway, I have my eye on a sweatshirt that says, "They should've told you I was a ______" Totally fits with a kick-ass mom.

My mom was willing to come to our aid and stick up for us too, but in high school she went to yell at my Geometry teacher and ended up being reduced to tears. (I think it was when her brother was sick and she was an emotional wreck) - I was like 'YOU DIDN'T CRY, DID YOU?

I was just chatting with Delilah and she knows all the people involved. She is just dumbfounded by Vanilla's clear interest in my kid's intstagram. Vanilla's daughter (Bean) and DeDe (Mini's bestie) know each other from grade school but they are not friends. One more reason it was super odd that Bean was following Mini.

Someday I hope Lad is able to look back and recall all the times I went to bat for him - he needed it more than anyone and I was always in his corner. One of the reasons his current hatred towards me is so painful.