November 23, 2020

Technologically impaired, not me this time

Coach was teaching a virtual class recently from our house. He told me in advance, but it didn't really register. It sounded like "yadda yadda class yadda." 

The only PT related words I understand apparently are those that might benefit me, like massage. I guess that's it, just the one word.

He showed up at home knowing that he couldn't use our bedroom:  napping twins. During the day we are almost at a 'no-room-in-the-inn' situation with e-learners and babies. We selected the study for him. He put on a tie. Paced. Arranged his notes. Shooed me out of the room. He had done a dry run practice the day before.

The scene of the class. The abandoned tie looks so sad. E-learning stuff is everywhere, thus the algebra book on the floor. He used the white box of clothes that Lad had delivered to the house to prop up his computer. Must be nice to go on shopping sprees when you are basically broke.

It was an hour long class that the PT company he works for asked him to teach. He does occasionally teach for other groups, but this was through 'corporate.' 

When the class was over, he exited the study and suddenly bent at the waist. Loud moaning, followed by many, MANY "Oh, no! No, no, NO! 's - as in this string of the word 'no' was repeated multiple times. I'm more of an 'Ef'-word string-together type myself, but I think we've established that. To each his own.

I looked at Mini and I grimaced. WHAT? - we both asked him, although I was afraid of the answer.

"I never shared my screen. They couldn't see my presentation. At all. Holy shit. They were texting me the entire time, but I was not gonna be one of those easily distracted people, didn't even look at my phone . . . Oh, my computer volume was apparently NOT up, so I couldn't hear them asking questions . . . I just kept talking. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!"

Mini and I shared a look. We said small, insignificant things like 'sorry'. 

He had to go back to work, so Mini drove him because later that night I planned to pick the car up from the shop . . . it only took TWO whole MONTHS to replace the engine in the KIA. This way Mini and Tank had cars to go to tennis and whatever the hell Tank does.  *I wrote this over a month ago, but it still holds up because I kid you not - in 2020 we seem to be professionals a-car-in-the-shop people.*

Mini (who was STILL wearing her PJs and it was now 3:00) got back home after dropping him off (it's only 7 minutes away) and shook her head.

Mini: I feel SO bad for him, but how do you not share your screen? He did say that he sent people the slides in advance SO if they wanted maybe they could've been following along. Doubt it though. He's a mess. 

I texted him a few hours later to say that I hoped he would SOMEDAY look back on this day and laugh. 

**Of course I hoped this LAUGH OUR ASS OFF AT YOUR DUMB-ASS-NESS would arrive sooner as opposed to later, but one can never tell. BTW we're all still laughing AT HIM for the car parking incident in my last post.**

Mini came with me to pick up the Kia (our drive is a whole other post and will explain our giggly dispositions when we picked up Coach as we neared home). He was in the backseat. I asked him if he was feeling any better, while secretly squeezing Mini's elbow. We were both wondering, "Too soon to laugh?"

He said he still hadn't heard from the woman from corporate who orchestrated the class. He read us the 6 texts she sent during the class, groaning between each text. (To be clear, in case anyone else is as technologically clueless as me - the people could see him, just not his SCREEN aka slide presentation).

He said he had texted her afterwards apologizing and explaining how he was just SO focused/not looking at his phone, etc. Um, she never responded, 6 hours later.

Mini:  Maybe she's drafting the paperwork to terminate you. (We laughed our butts off here, because that place would fall apart without Mr. I-make-everyone-better-and-people-come-from-miles-away-to-see-me, how's that for job security?)

I stopped at a light:  "I do not like the brakes in the Kia. Like do they need to be replaced? Because they could've done that in the 2 months while they had it." (I hadn't driven the Kia much before it went into the shop, aka kids' car).

ANOTHER groan from the backseat . . .

Coach: Swell, after I read those texts to you guys, I was putting my phone away and then Mommy did her jamming on the breaks thing and I just pocket dialed the woman from corporate (at 8:45 pm).

Whether it was appropriate or not, Mini and I doubled over laughing the rest of the way home. I laugh whispered to Mini that it was as if Daddy had morphed into my elderly parents overnight. 

When I told Mini the subject of this post, she just shook her head."I mean he told me he practiced SO much, but you don't need to practice sharing your screen. It's just a button. How does someone even do that?" 

** Coach just got home (the day after the 'incident') The corporate woman never reached out aside from one message that sort of recapped the disaster of the presentation. He's ticked because she never said THANKS FOR PUTTING THAT TOGETHER FOR ME, etc. I was like, Huh -this was a favor? They weren't paying him extra. I didn't know this. 

Gathering info, practicing on the weekends during time off and no payment? Guess who is now GLAD the ef-ing thing was a debacle. Like I said I'm more of an 'Ef' this type vs the 'Oh no' type. Shock that my business career never took off.

Zoom issues? Technology issues? Like my mom who got a cordless landline in the 90s and thought she could bring it to her school where she taught in case Dad wanted to call her during the day.


Nicole MacPherson said...

Oh no! Poor Coach. Argh, that is so frustrating (although weird no one said anything to him DURING the presentation! Yikes.) Well, one day he might laugh about it!

Kari said...

So the corporate lady never reached out to him again?? That is so unprofessional. I can see how he would make that mistake. Honestly, everyone needs to offer people grace during this time because tech stuff isn't something a PT should be knowledgeable in. I mean, I have been writing a blog for ten years and I don't even know how to give a PowerPoint presentation.

Also? My kids and I would have been teasing my husband the entire night, so I feel like we would have done the exact same thing. Muttering the words "too soon?" in our house is like saying "yes" in a normal home. This is why you and I get along. :)

Ernie said...

Nicole- I guess I left that out . . . he also had his computer volume down which he could not figure out bc he heard the presenter introduce him after the previous lecture and he did not realize they could not hear him.

Ernie said...

Kari- To my knowledge, she never reached out. Totally agree that cutting our non-techie friends (counting myself in this group) is needed right now.

Our fam rolls that way too. Not a lot of time elapsed before your screw up is fair game. Our offspring are tall AND thick-skinned.

Ally Bean said...

The idea of using zoom, or whatever, sounds good in theory. But I can totally understand how Coach ended up doing what he did, both with the presentation and with his phone. I'm sorry it happened, but really you gotta give people a break when it comes to technology. Especially when the only way we can connect with each other is by using that which is inclined to work against us.

Bibliomama said...

Ugh, what a frigging nightmare. My husband is constantly on the phone and computer downstairs, so last week he said something and went down and I didn't really pay attention until I went down to do laundry and then realized he was actually giving a webinar and I should probably not be banging around in the background. (Also, I think you mean 'debacle' rather than 'debauchery', unless he was also accidentally naked? :))

Ernie said...

Ally- yes, totally understandable to mess that up. And admirable to NOT want to be distracted by his phone. But nothing worked right for him. The stars aligned to screw him up.

Ernie said...

Ali- I DID NOT MEAN DEBAUCHERY, thank you for pointing that out . . . now if he was naked that would've made for a more lively post.

There were some concerns about the babies screaming in the background while he taught. As it turns out, that was not our issue.

Anonymous said...

This provided some MUCH needed laughter in my mess of a day. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

And, they probably won’t ask him to do anymore free-labor presentations any time soon 😁

Ernie said...

Anonymous - Glad to be of assistance. And let's hope you are right - I wish to steer my husband clear of freebies. His time is too valuable, damn it.

Suz said...

I'm dying for your husband. I can't even imagine. But hey, shit happens and it wasn't like someone DIED! The corporate person should have replied to him for heavens sakes; rude! And for free? NO THANKS!

Your kids have SO much to laugh about one day when you're all gone. :) Think of your great-grandchildren hearing these silly stories.
Your Mom with the cordless phone?!? OMG. That is hilarious.

I remember back in the earl 2000's showing my G'ma my new digital camera. She and I went around and around with the 'but where do you put the film in?" Me: No film. It's digital. Her: "well, where do the photos come out then?" It was pretty funny and she never got an answer that she really understood. ;)

Ernie said...

Suz- you raise a good point. . . no one died. Death by bad-zoom-techniques is NOT a thing.

Coach and I will indeed leave behind all of our riches AND as a bonus all of our laughable antics. Ed's friend from CA just left for the airport, but when Ed told us his dad is a software engineer we quickly filled him in on Coach trying to install YouTube TV but instead just installing plain YouTube and insisting that someone else's posts of highlights of 'Whose Line Is It Anyway' was the bomb. Almost sent Mini over the edge.

Your digital camera story reminds me of my grandma leaving messages on my answering machine. Lawdy was she confused. Acting as if she was talking to me.