If you haven't seen the movie 'Election' from 1999 with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, go watch it and come back . . . wow, that was fast.
A few weeks ago, Mini showed me her phone. Her face was superimposed on a hamster. The caption: Vote for Mini, the Gangster Hamster.
|This was NOT Mini's photo, but it's close. |
Our real life Tracey is a cringe-y, try-hard. She's a major brown nose who plays on the b-ball team with Mini. Last year the coach was complaining that the team didn't know the plays. After messing up, Tracey turned to the coach mid-practice and exclaimed loudly:
Coach, I'm gonna go home and write that play out 250 times 'til I learn it.
Mini and the rest of the team almost gagged. Later when Mini described it, I almost gagged. Mini, and most of the other kids in the high school, cannot stand Tracey. She's a major kiss-up who is massively self-involved.
Mini is nice to everyone, and Tracey thinks of Mini as a friend. They see each other at the golf course where they both caddy. When Tracey was elected president last year, UNCONTESTED, she told Mini:
Next year you should run too. You can be my vice president.
Mini decided then and there, she'd run this year.
A few days before the election she posted it on her Instagram. The video: her friend saying:
Tracey is running for president, but she's dating someone from (insert name of rival high school). Do you really want a president who isn't allegiant to our school? Vote for Mini. She doesn't even HAVE a dating life.
Pan to Mini:
My name is Mini Shenanigan and I approve this ad.
She was e-learning with her besties when they made the ad. She showed me when I picked her up from tennis.
**important facts: Mini has never experienced a day of girl-drama. Ever. She's known for her sense of humor. She's pretty comfortable with herself, remember the driving photos with her in the twisty turban?**
Tracey, unaware Mini was running against her until candidates were announced, wasn't happy. She was irritated when Mini and friends put together the self-deprecating, funny video.
This is where teen talk totally threw me off. It ticked Mini off that I wasn't following her Instagram explanations. I was forced to apologize for being old.
Lost in translation: Tracey left her unopened. Hours later Tracey and the only girl who can tolerate Tracey responded with their own video on Instagram. Mini slid up, and said ha ha.
Unopened? Slip up? What?
Their video featured Tracey's sidekick saying:
Don't you think it's important for a president to be able to walk. Mini struggles with that. I think you should vote for Tracey. They have footage of Mini attempting a cartwheel during last year's b-ball season. It's essentially Mini flopping around and looking goofy. Her strong suit. Fortunately, Mini can laugh at herself.
(Pan over to Tracey, standing on a low wall at the high school) I don't even think Mini could jump off of this wall! (Tracey demonstrates how to jump off the wall).
I may not get slide up and unopened, but I know lame when I see it. That was lame, but Mini sent back a 'ha, ha, ha'.
Tracey than tagged or linked with Drew who was running for VP. "Drew's my running mate!" Drew slid up (no idea, if that fits here) and gave a thumbs up.
Mini knows Drew, great kid. She messaged him: TREASON!
Drew messaged Mini: I already voted for you, not Tracey. I'm taking down my thumbs up to be her running mate. She posted that without even asking me. Don't tell her. I'm afraid of her.
Mini texted Tracey later something like, NO hard feelings, all in fun.
Tracey responded with: You're good girl! -but Sunday marked the first time Tracey showed up at the caddy shack and didn't come over to Mini and say hello and proceed to talk about how highly she thinks of herself.
I asked Mini at one point who was going to win the male vote? Mini just kept telling me no one would vote for Tracey because no one liked her. Tank is friends with a lot of the guys in Mini's class and I thought he should encourage them to vote for Mini.
Mini came home from tennis one day and said her tennis friends who are seniors and know Tank thought he should do a video for Mini where he appeared tied up saying: Vote for Mini! There, untie me. I did it.
Mini and I suggested this. Tank told us he has an ACTUAL sense of humor. He couldn't be mixed up in such un-funny things, reputation to uphold, etc.
I really thought this story would end differently. Mini was very confident that she'd win. She said she knew no one who would vote for Tracey.
The results posted online on Monday night. Tracey won.
I felt punched in the gut. Poor Mini. She didn't cry. I think she recovered better than I did, because her girlfriends affirmed her and expressed TOTAL shocked.
A few girls shared that Tracey was emailing people full paragraphs trying to convince them to vote for her. These girls voted for Mini, but maybe some people who got those emails figured they'd vote for Tracey because she had experience. Maybe they don't really know Mini well. Maybe Tracey infiltrated the band kids or some other pocket of kids who are unfamiliar with Mini, who knows.
Then there's the boy vote. Tank was like: Yeah the guys I know didn't even know there was an election. EXACTLY MY POINT, TANK. I was furious that he didn't urge them to vote.
Tank ran for senior class secretary, did no campaigning, and won. He was going up against one of his best friends, who he messaged and said "Dude, I will do nothing and I will win." His buddy texted him back: "Ef off."
Twin Mom and Mini think the election was weird and went unnoticed because no one was even in the building. Mini realizes that probably lots of kids didn't even open the school email detailing the election. Clearly Tracey hit the campaign trail hard once she saw Mini on the ballot.
Next year Mini will have her shit together and Tank will be texting all of his younger buddies while he is away at college to make sure they vote for his sister, or else.
Anyone more bummed about a big loss more than the person losing? Was this more exciting than the presidential election?