November 4, 2020

election, no - not THAT election

If you haven't seen the movie 'Election' from 1999 with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew Broderick, go watch it and come back . . . wow, that was fast. 

A few weeks ago, Mini showed me her phone. Her face was superimposed on a hamster. The caption:  Vote for Mini, the Gangster Hamster. 

This was NOT Mini's photo, but it's close.
Compliments:  bingee.

She decided to run for junior class president. I thought:  great idea. Last year a girl named 'Tracey Glick' ran for president of the sophomore class, uncontested.  **Yes, Tracey is a nod to Reese's obnoxious character in the movie. Nothing gets past you.** 

Our real life Tracey is a cringe-y, try-hard. She's a major brown nose who plays on the b-ball team with Mini. Last year the coach was complaining that the team didn't know the plays.  After messing up, Tracey turned to the coach mid-practice and exclaimed loudly:  

Coach, I'm gonna go home and write that play out 250 times 'til I learn it.

Mini and the rest of the team almost gagged. Later when Mini described it, I almost gagged. Mini, and most of the other kids in the high school, cannot stand Tracey. She's a major kiss-up who is massively self-involved.

Mini is nice to everyone, and Tracey thinks of Mini as a friend. They see each other at the golf course where they both caddy. When Tracey was elected president last year, UNCONTESTED, she told Mini:  

Next year you should run too.  You can be my vice president.

Mini decided then and there, she'd run this year.  

A few days before the election she posted it on her Instagram. The video:  her friend saying: 

Tracey is running for president, but she's dating someone from (insert name of rival high school).  Do you really want a president who isn't allegiant to our  school?  Vote for Mini.  She doesn't even HAVE a dating life.

Pan to Mini:  

My name is Mini Shenanigan and I approve this ad.  

She was e-learning with her besties when they made the ad. She showed me when I picked her up from tennis.  

**important facts:  Mini has never experienced a day of girl-drama. Ever. She's known for her sense of humor. She's pretty comfortable with herself, remember the driving photos with her in the twisty turban?**

Tracey, unaware Mini was running against her until candidates were announced, wasn't happy. She was irritated when Mini and friends put together the self-deprecating, funny video.  

This is where teen talk totally threw me off.  It ticked Mini off that I wasn't following her Instagram explanations. I was forced to apologize for being old. 

Lost in translation:  Tracey left her unopened. Hours later Tracey and the only girl who can tolerate Tracey responded with their own video on Instagram. Mini slid up, and said ha ha.  

Unopened?  Slip up?  What? 

Their video featured Tracey's sidekick saying:  

Don't you think it's important for a president to be able to walk. Mini struggles with that. I think you should vote for Tracey.  They have footage of Mini attempting  a cartwheel during last year's b-ball season. It's essentially Mini flopping around and looking goofy. Her strong suit. Fortunately, Mini can laugh at herself.  

(Pan over to Tracey, standing on a low wall at the high school) I don't even think Mini could jump off of this wall! (Tracey demonstrates how to jump off the wall). 

I may not get slide up and unopened, but I know lame when I see it. That was lame, but Mini sent back a 'ha, ha, ha'.

Tracey than tagged or linked with Drew who was running for VP. "Drew's my running mate!"  Drew slid up (no idea, if that fits here) and gave a thumbs up.

Mini knows Drew, great kid. She messaged him:  TREASON!

Drew messaged Mini:  I already voted for you, not Tracey. I'm taking down my thumbs up to be her running mate. She posted that without even asking me. Don't tell her. I'm afraid of her.

Mini texted Tracey later something like, NO hard feelings, all in fun.  

Tracey responded with:  You're good girl!  -but Sunday marked the first time Tracey showed up at the caddy shack and didn't come over to Mini and say hello and proceed to talk about how highly she thinks of herself. 

I asked Mini at one point who was going to win the male vote? Mini just kept telling me no one would vote for Tracey because no one liked her. Tank is friends with a lot of the guys in Mini's class and I thought he should encourage them to vote for Mini.  

Mini came home from tennis one day and said her tennis friends who are seniors and know Tank thought he should do a video for Mini where he appeared tied up saying:  Vote for Mini!  There, untie me. I did it.

Mini and I suggested this. Tank told us he has an ACTUAL sense of humor. He couldn't be mixed up in such un-funny things, reputation to uphold, etc.

I really thought this story would end differently. Mini was very confident that she'd win. She said she knew no one who would vote for Tracey.  

The results posted online on Monday night. Tracey won.  

I felt punched in the gut. Poor Mini. She didn't cry. I think she recovered better than I did, because her girlfriends affirmed her and expressed TOTAL shocked.

A few girls shared that Tracey was emailing people full paragraphs trying to convince them to vote for her. These girls voted for Mini, but maybe some people who got those emails figured they'd vote for Tracey because she had experience.  Maybe they don't really know Mini well. Maybe Tracey infiltrated the band kids or some other pocket of kids who are unfamiliar with Mini, who knows. 

Then there's the boy vote.  Tank was like:  Yeah the guys I know didn't even know there was an election.  EXACTLY MY POINT, TANK. I was furious that he didn't urge them to vote. 

Tank ran for senior class secretary, did no campaigning, and won. He was going up against one of his best friends, who he messaged and said "Dude, I will do nothing and I will win." His buddy texted him back:  "Ef off."  

Twin Mom and Mini think the election was weird and went unnoticed because no one was even in the building. Mini realizes that probably lots of kids didn't even open the school email detailing the election. Clearly Tracey hit the campaign trail hard once she saw Mini on the ballot.  

Next year Mini will have her shit together and Tank will be texting all of his younger buddies while he is away at college to make sure they vote for his sister, or else.

 What I'm saying is:  This isn't over.  

I've had this bumper sticker on most of our cars
 since the last election AND SADLY, IT STILL HOLDS UP.

Anyone more bummed about a big loss more than the person losing? Was this more exciting than the presidential election? 


Kari said...

I've heard of that Reese Witherspoon movie and now I need to see it.
I was rooting for your daughter! She sounds a lot like Ella, who also HATES drama. Anna was the same way too. Both of my girls, at one point or another, have said to me that they wish they had been born boys so they could get through high school without drama. That is a sad statement about females in high school, isn't it? Sigh.

Oh well, as they say, there is always next year. :)
I mean not for the ACTUAL election.

Ernie said...

Kari - I remember feeling the SAME way when I was a kid. More so in grade school, girls WERE mean. And the boys always seemed to get along or not be judging other boys' every move. If you could participate in a sport j- even mildly, you were in like flynn. Or if you were funny. That shit didn't count for girls. You had to be cute and dress great . . . two strikes against my junior high self.

I will be anxious about this next year. Hoping she has better luck and assuming kids will be in the building to see election posters, etc.

Ally Bean said...

Yep, I never liked the girl drama but there it was right in front of me all the time. I could write a long diatribe about how it came to be and how ill-prepared I was for it, but I won't. Life is so much better once you get away from the MEAN girls.

Suz said...

Can I please vote for Mini for President? Is it too late?!?

This Tracey chick is on my nerves....we need a recount. That's a thing, right? I mean, we do it in Florida ALL THE DAMN TIME! LOL

I never ran for anything and still didn't win. :) No girl drama for me or my daughters; who has the time?

Bibliomama said...

I loved that twisted-ass movie. Yeah, that sucks. Eve is also in a group of girls that makes fun of themselves, posts goofy rather than sexy selfies (mostly) and when people try to bully them they find it hilarious. It sucks when those people get put in positions of power, though, however small. I was sad when Eve didn't get cast in the play last year (that didn't end up happening anyway) because she's good at acting and I enjoy seeing her do something that isn't just studying. She was sad for half a minute and then said "enh, I don't really have the passion for acting that my friends do anyway, I'm going to get some gelato".

Beth Cotell said...

Poor Mini. Sounds like she handled everything like a champ. She definitely has my vote. Peter has a Tracey in his class and even I don't care for her one bit. I'm sure she will be very successful in life though and that annoys me a little more than I care to admit. (I guess I have some growing up to do!)

Ernie said...

Ally - I believe it. We are so grateful for the group Mini hangs out with - incidentally Curly seems to have stumbled on a great group of girls too, but high school is around the corner so it's a wait-and-see situation). I really came out of my shell in high school, but I went to an all girls Catholic school. I cared little for what other people thought of me and I my friends consisted of girls from the various groups. I am thrilled that Mini manages to do the same . . . I don't think I would've had the confidence to pull it off in a public high school with boys around.

Ernie said...

Suz - I know the teacher who runs the election and I have his personal cell number. It was everything I had not to text him and DEMAND A RECOUNT. But that helicopter would've crashed and burned. When I picked Curly up from dancing and brought her home to 'the news', she made Mini a black cow and told her "It must've been REALLY close. I can't believe you didn't win." So sweet.

They were just talking about the dangling chads, etc. of the crazy Bush vs Gore election. I thought of my Florida friends.

Mini told me in advance a few times, "How awful would it be if I lost to her?" Then she shivered and moved on. She had me convinced it was not possible.

This Tracey girl is THE worst. I am counting the days to the next election. I might need to seek professional help, but we already knew that.

Ernie said...

Ali - See, I'm sure our girls would be friends if they were in the same school. Mini gets along with everyone. There are fotunately only 2 or 3 unapproachable girls in her grade. They think they are ALL that, while some just think they are hot stuff. Mini was in gym class with one of them and the girl never dressed for gym. Beneath her. She failed and had to repeat the class. Hope your coolness was worth it. Mini laughs all the time at them, and how they only have each other because they have worked so hard to separate themselves from the rest. Totally bizarre. Mini pointed one out at a b-ball game last year. I thought she was a 40 year old. Not in a good way. Eat a cheeseburger and chisel away a BIT of the makeup.

It is good when they are able to get over stuff. I apparently need more in my life, because I am the one that gets stuck on their disappointments.

This mom across the street (not Mary Ann) mis-stepped during Mini's election and I have an upcoming post about it - because I was NOT having it.

Ernie said...

Beth - Embarrassed to admit, but I tried to find an angle that would help me cope . . . is Tracey in advanced classes? Alas, she is and Mini knew where I was heading. She anticipates Tracey getting into a good college and PROBABLY getting the Evans Scholarship (the caddy scholarship my kids always try for, but we are apparently not poor enough . . . I wait for the day when they will ask for us to submit grocery bills. An only child with a dad who makes 6 figures got it instead of Ed). Anyway, if this girl gets the Evans, I will pull my hair out.

Does that mean I need to grow up too? If that's the case, I don't want to grow up. Oh, the mom is the worst. She will engage people in conversation at the pool loud enough for everyone to hear and it will always be a leading comment, like she mentions something about her son's diabetes "Oh, you didn't know . . . yes, he's type 1. I mean I don't mind going to the school everyday to check his insulin." Enough to make me want to drown myself in the pool.

Maybe it is best that I continue to seclude myself after the pandemic. Other people make me crazy.