November 20, 2020

Coach's epic fails for the family laugh

A while back - the very next weekend after we visited Creighton, we took the four youngest kids to see Ed. He goes to school in Indiana. Just before we left, the powers that be announced Indiana as a do-not-visit state. DAMN.

We went anyway, but instead of eating out, I made chili and we ate in the hotel room. The next day, we walked across the enormous campus wearing masks and ordered lunch and ate outside. That was over a month ago and we all remained healthy. It was a quick visit, but not without entertainment, thanks to Coach.

Before we left, I made 60 cookies and 3 loaves of pumpkin bread for Ed. Mini wrapped the cookies in a box and wrote on the box that it was Ed's birthday so that Ed could walk around his fraternity and pass out his birthday treat - I know, no longer a 1st grader but still! (every kid in fraternity has had covid now, so walking around sharing cookies is OK). 

Mini decorating box 'o cookies with b-day wrap.

I dashed upstairs to finish packing while Mini worked on the cookie box, and Coach asked me if I knew what time we'd leave the next day to come home.

Me:  Um, for what? Church? We can always go on Sunday.

Coach:  No, like what time do we need to arrive at Xavier. 

Me:  Huh?  Xavier is the next weekend. 

We initially were going to see Ed, then drive to Cincinnati to see Xavier and then come home but Xavier didn't offer tours that weekend so we split the weekends up. Coach KNEW this. At one point. 

The day we walked around Ed's campus, Ed insisted on dropping the minivan off in the town. He didn't want us to have to walk 30 minutes back to the fraternity house after lunch. I was FINE with the walk - the weather was brisk but nice, but whatever. 

Campus was fairly empty and this could count as a college visit. Mini might go to school here if she wants to do business. It's really big though. Ed has already decided what sororities he would allow her to enter or forbid her to join based on the fact that some of sorority members rarely eat or they all look and act the same, etc. Nothing like having a big brother to look out for you. For the record, Mini is skittish when it comes to being ranked based on beauty and body type, etc. so she is grateful to have Ed tell her what's what, if it comes to that. 

Ed followed Coach to the town in his roommate's car. Coach parked and I guess Ed picked him up on a different street, then they showed up at the frat house and off we went on our walk. After lunch, we walked towards the car so we could hop in and drive back to the fraternity house. We walked all. over. the. place. 


Mini and Tank (Tank usually prefers to poke fun at me to see if he can get me riled up, he's successful about 50% of the time) both threw their hands up and proclaimed a truth that I now know is understood but not stated OFTEN ENOUGH:


I tried not to enjoy the moment TOO much. I bit my lip to stop smiling excessively and resisted the urge to bow..

Two carloads of Ed's friends parked near where we were standing at 15 minute intervals, well we were circling the area so our standing places moved around. Each time they were like ED, HOW'S IT GOING?

Ed:  Been better. Can't find the car. (lots of chuckling)

Car was found and we listened to Coach explain his theory to Ed about why he thought he was on that 'other' street. 

I could do a whole post on what Reg does to his shoes. Suffice it to say I feel like all I do is buy this kid shoes and yet every time I turn around his shoes look like this. I threatened to leave him in the car for wearing these shoes on our visit to Ed. What on earth? I have since cleared the mudroom and tossed out any shoes that were this crappy.

Last stop was the bookstore. While I got a birthday card for Delilah the day before, I failed to buy one for Ed, so Coach went to get Ed a card and I hit the clearance area on the 2nd floor with our offspring. We Shenanigans are clearance-rack types. 

Tank grabbed a shirt right away and I told him to go downstairs and get in line with Daddy. The rest of us were walking downstairs a few minutes later, and Tank texted me one of my FAVORITE all time text messages.

Tank:  Daddy just asked me how old Ed is. Um, he also forgot where he parked the car. I think we need to stop at an urgent care on the way home and have him assessed.

I died laughing. 

The following weekend was Ohio. Loved the campuses of Xavier and Dayton. Xavier has something called a 'super fan' - like a club of kids who run the spirit section at basketball games. I almost put down a deposit for Tank on the spot.

Taking a tour at Dayton.

For these trips we ate most of our meals in our car - food I brought, all hail the budget. We only bought gas in Ohio. That college tuition is going to hit hard . . . in 2 years we will have 3 in college.

Nothing beats leftovers. I can eat them in a car.
I can eat them when we go far. I'll stop there.

I informed Mini and Tank that they need to agree to go to the same school to make our driving easier. I was NOT serious, but this prompted Tank to turn to Mini and say in his super-cheesy voice:  HEY WANNA ROOM TOGETHER?

What'll we do without his nonsense next year?

Anyone ever forget where you parked, like for a LONG ASS TIME?


Kara said...

I have a habit of losing my car in parking lots. Thankfully, my new (in 2018) car syncs with my phone, so when I lock the doors, the car location updates in Maps. Then if I'm really lost, I use Maps to get me directions to the car.

Creighton keeps sending info to our house for my oldest. But she doesn't really want to go "somewhere cold" for college.

Ernie said...

Kara - Ah, so there's an advanced way to track your car. When we replace our cars, then Coach will be 'safe' and I won't worry that he is lost and carless.

I do not blame a kid who lives in a warm climate from not wanting to go somewhere cold for college.

Kari said...

Okay, Dr. Seuss. I see what you were throwing down in that caption. I do love me a good leftover meal. My oldest daughter hates leftovers and so I am having bloodwork taken over Christmas break to make sure she is my child because I could survive on leftovers alone.

If there was a competition on finding my vehicle in a parking lot, I would come in last place. And as I get older, it is getting embarrassingly worse. Like, EMBARRASINGLY worse.

Ally Bean said...

I hate that feeling when you've lost your car in the parking lot. Or worse a multilevel parking garage. Fortunately my ancient old car has a spoiler that makes it easier to find. Three kids in college at once! Oh my, that is something to look forward to.

Charlie said...

Visiting Paris as a kid with my family (many) years ago, my dad forgot which side street off the Champs Elysees he’d parked the car (pretty much the largest avenue in Paris). Now THAT was a very big street to cover and took us ages before he realised we were on the wrong side! Also a friend and I dropped off his wife for a flight and he completely forgot which level carpark he had left the car. The common theme here is that it seems to be men who lose their cars..........

Ernie said...

Kari - Leftovers are my lifeline. I often double whatever I make so that we can eat it a second night later in the week. My kids are not always a fan of that, but I haven't had many volunteers to, ya know, FEED THE MASSES.

I am often driving the great white, and that puppy stands out. Losing a car on a street in a town you are unfamiliar with - well, I don't recommend.

Ernie said...

Ally - When Lad was in his first year in college in New York, I went out there with Reg and Tank to watch a few water polo games. I hatched this great plan to walk around the city for a few hours before we played at Fordham. The train into the city was RIGHT THERE. But alas, finding a parking spot - nightmare. We finally parked near the zoo in the Bronx and RAN ALL THE WAY TO THE TRAIN. Later, we found the street that we parked on but we remembered VERY LITTLE about the rental car. Oh, the celebrations when we found it.

Sometimes being an adult is hard.

Ernie said...

Charlie - I studying French in high school, so I can picture the Champs Elysees. Holy crap, not the place I would want to be when I lost my car. So funny. And, yes. I remember back when there was that thing we did - parking at an airport and walking to the gate to wait for so and so. Thank goodness things went to drive-up pickups because those airports with their 85 different parking garages and levels and remote . . . too much. I think I am more detail oriented that Coach, so I LOOK AT MY SURROUNDINGS when I park. Men, on the other hand- well, you know.

Gigi said...

I don't usually "lose" my car...I'm more of the I can't recognize my car type. As in, I was in the parking lot with a co-worker, telling her the saga about why I was now driving this particular car, only to realize as I tried to open the door and get in that it WAS NOT my car...just a car of the same color. *sigh*

Ernie said...

Gigi - Hilarious. That reminds me that I years and years ago when I drove a little green Sundance, I came out of a doctor's appointment and unlocked the door of my car WITH MY KEY and wondered why the inside looked so funny. Another green Sundance that was parked next to mine but it wasn't mine. Nuts.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I died: "I bit my lip to stop smiling excessively and resisted the urge to bow."
You have redeemed yourself in the eyes of your offspring! YAY

I occasionally lose my car in the Target parking lot; what can I say, I'm easily distracted, but have yet to need help finding it. ;)
You and your peopel give me constant enjoyment. Sign me up for the 24/7 live feed.

Ernie said...

Suz - We can be fairly entertaining . . . mostly when not trying. Glad to be of service.

Ed was born in 2020, how hard is it to figure out his age? Coach was NOT firing on all cylinders that weekend. Fortunately his blanking out didn't lead to any major issues, but Tank thinking we needed to get him to urgent care slayed me.

Hope you are enjoying your days in GA. I never even got my allergy shots done, the house needed SO MUCH attention. Need to get back to your ghost posts.