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October 7, 2020

shoemakers' people need massages too, and an almost ottoman pic

In early November my knee got messed up.  Since then, it healed, mostly -  before it got all cranky again in like January-ish.  It STILL isn't 100% but I'm able to do lunges again and other things my knees don't generally like.  Coach is always on standby, just in case.  

Not gonna lie, still feeling a bit like the shoemaker's child over here in HEY-COACH-CAN-YOU-TAKE-A-LOOK-AT-MY-(INSERT COMPLAINT OF THE DAY HERE)-LAND.  My requests are often met with loud exhale, slouchy posture, an eye-roll, and gritted teeth,  - I read these as 'totally  eager to help mannerisms', right?  Maybe it's just me being over-sensitive.  

I crouched down about a month ago to hurry up and gather something that was spilling - I don't even remember what, and being in a full squat, the kind where your butt is almost on the floor as if you were perched in the grass looking for grasshoppers or something that only 5 year olds can pull off, well - my knee screamed over that maneuver.  

You know what's great?  My knee doesn't like to see me bored, so it will hurt sometimes for a few days or longer, but in a different place or in a different way.  Reminding me: HEY, LOTS OF MOVING PARTS HERE, CRAZY WORKOUT LADY.  

Other ailments, because that's an exciting topic, include a butt issue, glute - is my guess, that's just now finally feeling better.  Too bad butt massage was not on the list of legitimate solutions, because Coach would not have complained if I constantly requested a butt massage.  The wheels of his mind would start spinning as he'd hope a butt massage might lead somewhere.  Hypothetically speaking, of course.

My left glute hurt like a son-of-a-gun, or a pain in the ass.  I vaguely remember tripping or slipping on my walk and I think I slightly tore or strained something.  I recovered without landing on my duff . . . full of grace and poise, of course.  Grace and poise had nothing to do with how much it bugged me to walk a step, let alone 4.5 miles a day.  I think that issue lasted about 5 or 6 weeks.  I don't feel like someone is stabbing me in the left buttocks with each step anymore, so I got that going for me.

I've had tendinitis recently as well.  My left ankle, up my shin to my knee lasted for a few weeks.  Painful.  It hurt even when I was just sitting or driving a car.  A constant throb.  I texted Coach one day and begged him to bring home his needles.  A good measure that this squeamish crazy-person is in lots-a-pain.

Here's how you know you trust your spouse . . . watch him get his needles out, lie you down, and then take out a text book to read up, just a tad, before inserting said needle.  I thought he was joking at first, but, um - no.  

Coach:  (in response to my,  WTF is with the text book?) Oh, I just need to review.  There's a big artery over here that I don't want to hit.  

The family is accustomed to me snapping weird pictures for the blog without faces, I didn't realize this one was going to be so up-close and personal.  Coach kind of flinched and gave me a 'WTF look' but went right back to reading about how to heal me without severing my artery.  That is my leg on the left, a red charging cord because my old phone was not holding a charge for very long, and Coach literally reading how to needle my shin.

The needling helped, and about a week later it was as normal as my muscles are ever going to feel at my, um, advanced age.  

With days full of working out followed by a few other tasks, by evening I often plop on the couch.  Always the same spot.  If any of our offspring  sit in my spot, they know automatically that they need to move.  They used to argue, but since I always win- arguing got old.  I don't just sit on the couch.  I recline and whoever wants to sit at the end of the couch needs to be able to tolerate my feet propped up on a pillow in his/her lap.

I approached Coach at Christmas.  "Let's get an ottoman so more people could utilize the couch."  He didn't really want to spend the money, but I looked into it just in case I could score a good deal.  I called a furniture store and the lady asked me to send a photo of my family room.  She didn't get that my home is NOT full of well-decorated rooms carefully pieced together.  She was, well, confused.

I literally burst out laughing, not about my lack of classy decorating, but because she was making this photo request on the very day that I decided to sort the HUGE sock bag of 'missing-matches'.  I figured by now a few more might have shown up in the laundry.  My goal:  reunite them with their mate.  

I did take the picture and I warned her before I sent it - but it's downright comical.

Hey lady at fancy furniture store, welcome to my reality . . . 
lotsa mismatched socks and baby gear out the wazoo.
I'm just now remembering the serene and peaceful photos
 Kari posted on her blog early on in the pandemic.  Well, 
this is what my place looks like.  Relaxing, right?

Betcha the woman that got this pic printed copies and hung them at the company Christmas party labeled as 'worst potential client ever'.  I'm OK with it.

Um, all that to say we didn't get the ottoman.  We did get a giant beanbag chair for the basement and during over-crowding (like when we're all present and accounted for) someone drags it up from downstairs.  

This is a photo of Coach working on one of Curly's ankles a few months back.  In all fairness, the guy assesses people's parts all day long and the last thing he wants to do is more 'parts' when he gets home.

So I continue to drape my legs across my couch partner, if there are any takers.  It's usually Curly.  She still likes me.  We usually agree to massage each other's feet and shins, etc. as part of our sitting on the couch together arrangement.  She is usually sore from dancing and I am usually sore from everything BUT dancing.  

Last week, she and I ended up on the love-seat.  I believe my family room stint wasn't going to be lengthy and it wasn't worth kicking the kid out of my usual space.  The love-seat was tight.  Curly and I assumed pretzel-mode.  She massaged my feet.  Then I massaged her feet.  After she was done, I reached out and started to rub my shin a bit.  My shin was right under her nose as we were in such close quarters.  She swiveled her mass of curls at me and asked:  WHAT?  YOU WANT ME TO RUB YOUR LEG NOW TOO?!

I didn't mean to drop the hint, but maybe subconsciously I did.  Then she pointed out her sore calf.  

We got scolded by our fellow movie watchers because we were giggling so much at how ridiculous we were.  We have turned into mind-readers who massage one another's knees, heels, ankles, foot arches, calf muscles, tendinitis, etc.  

What can I say, shoemakers' children need to stick together.  

If you don't live with a physical therapist or a 12 year old masseuse, tell me - how do you get by?  Or admit to me:  would you have texted those pictures showing the sock sorting project or skipped it?  Don't be shy.

ANNOUNCEMENT:  I've decided to post something this Friday (and the occasional Friday in the near future).  If you met me in person this would make sense:  always so much to talk about.  Just ask Kari.  Do you prefer I post Mon, Wed, Thursday when I have an extra something to say, or Mon, Wed, Fri?  

Hope you'll visit.  

 


12 comments:

Kari said...

This post made me laugh out loud at 6:30 am but no one was awake except the dog. I love the picture of the socks on the floor. Only a mom would appreciate that picture.

I would love it if you'd post every day. I get so excited when a new post is in my Bloglovin or WordPress reader feed. I don't know how MY readers feel about that but that is how I feel about other blogs.

Ernie said...

Kari - glad our disaster-area house made you laugh. I'm guessing it might make some people break out in hives. I can tolerate a lot of clutter - it's a gift, maybe. But I reach a point and then I am all about whipping things into shape.

Careful what you wish for . . . ha. I have not had as many people reading my posts on Fridays, plus I wanted to give myself a break as I was starting a class and chasing the babies around again. So, I will be interested to see if folks tune in on Fridays, but I have a ton of stuff to share. It's how I roll, oversharing AND messy. Coach is a lucky man. Your posts always entertain me, so the excited to see a post feeling back at you.

Ally Bean said...

I don't read posts on Saturday, so either of your plans sound good to me. Of course, sometimes just writing when the mood strikes is good, too. Do what works for you is my point.

I like the socks on the floor creating their own kind of art. Kind of an installation like you'd see in fancy art museums. Definitely abstract, delightfully authentic

Ernie said...

Ally- I'm a post stock-piler, so I write when the mood strikes and thst sometimes gives me inventory. I fear I would never post if I relied on writing when I had time. Sounds non- sensical when I put it that way.

First time I considered our mismatched socks art. Yes, definitely abstract.

Pat Birnie said...

Your sock pic made me laugh as well - but no I wouldn’t send a picture like that. I’m just too anal. My daughter has a brilliant solution to mismatched sock- her kids just wear whatever 2 socks come out of the drawer so she doesn’t match at all! I wish I could have been so easy going. My house usually looked like that though. I was once on my way home from work and same daughter was having an asthma attack and had to call 911. I had started to put up the Christmas tree days before but never finished the job and the living room was full of boxes and bags with decorations spilling everywhere. Once I knew my daughter was fine I did get embarrassed by the paramedics squeezed in among the disaster area. Another friend who was also an EMS assured me that they don’t even notice that stuff- they are just focused on the job. I think she was just trying to make me feel better.

Post whatever days work for you - if I don’t see it the day it comes out I can look forward to it next time I check. I always enjoy your posts as they bring back so many memories of my insane family times when they all still lived with me. I actually miss those days!

Gigi said...

Post whenever and however often you like. I check my blog reader at least once a day - even on the weekends - so I'm always around.

Ernie said...

Pat - funny, my kids might consider me anal when I announce chores and demand that they do it right the first time, but I believe this photo proves I am FAR from anal. I'm confident I made that sales woman's night. Back when our laundry room was still on the first floor, there was no where to put a shoe or a coat. Our current mudroom WAS the laundry room. A retired but infamous hockey player entered my house one night when he walked Mini home from a birthday party at his grandson's house in our cul de sac. I didn't know that was the plan, and I turned around and Mr. Famous Hockey Guy was standing in the middle of the laundry room surrounded by HUGE piles of dirty underwear, clothes, etc. I was mortified.

I would like to believe EMS don't notice the interior of people's homes - in an emergency I can't imagine they would bother. That thought and others like it are how I sleep at night.

I am glad to know that you can relate to the craziness of our home. I'm touched that you look forward to reading my often long-winded accounts of our life.

Ernie said...

Gigi- Careful what you have agreed to . . . I have a back up of posts I am getting ready to send out there. I wrote so many things last spring, but then took them down when it seemed necessary to write about pandemic related events. Pandemic might persist, dang it, but I look at the pile of 'drafts' and I think, I can share these now.

Cheryl said...

The husband is my foot and butt massager and he is not bad at all. I have threatened to hire him out, we could make a bundle!
I run around barefoot all the time, hate shoes, and my heels get rough. I bought this smoother thingie from Bed, Bath and Beyond and he smooths my heels, and lotions them and puts cozy warm socks on for me. My sisters say I'm spoiled. lol. The downside? My feet get too smooth and slippery in the shower and I miss the traction from the rough heels.

I had an awful bout of sciatica (never had it in my whole life!)from March until July and was in so much pain I could barely roll outta bed without help. I think I cried a bucket of tears. Finally went to the doctor in July, got a diagnosis and within a few weeks I was doing much better. Meloxicam, tylenol and stretching upon waking and during the day helped, plus the butt massages I got.

I may have picked the socks up before I took the pic, but that's real life, right? Your place looks comfy and homey. Nothing wrong with that.
Had an appraiser here last week for a refi, and just saw the black and white pictures of our interior that he had taken. Thought I was looking at a landfill. Really.

I would love if you blogged every day...you are pretty darn funny!

Ernie said...

Cheryl - he IS spoiling you. I am in awe. My physical therapist seems to only enjoy 'helping' me when there is pain involved, ie: needling, exercises, etc. Comfy socks, lotion, what are these things you speak of?

Sciatica is painful. Along with my pain, I get an eye-roll from Coach: When was the last time you did your exercises? I am constantly pointing out that I rarely have time to get prone and do press ups, etc. Then he tells me, I guess you have time to be in pain. I think he missed Bedside 101 - or at least Bedside for family members 101.

I am laughing at landfill. Hilarious. Years ago we had an appraised come for a refi. My folks thought it was super important to have the house in perfect 'ready to sell' order so they came over and shamed me, scrubbing things while shaking their heads in a 'What is wrong with her' kind of way. Dad did the big boys room and tossed out a kleenex box that we later realized was where Lad liked to hide his walkie-talkies tucked away under his bed, like real ones that weren't cheap. Oops. Even our 'nice' stuff presents as garbage.

"I would love if you blogged every day . . " -day made. :) Careful what you wish for, I have quite a few posts lined up ready to magically appear.

Beth Cotell said...

Still trying to get the butt massage image out of my head!!!! :) You can post daily if you would like!

Ernie said...

Beth - just to clarify, that is not on the list of acceptable massages, apparently in Cheryl's world it IS! I hope you can keep up with my upcoming deluge of posts. :)