Today (Saturday) I woke up way too early, and I knew that was it. Game over. I hate that.
Then, as soon as I felt ready for a short nap at noon, I dozed off for like 3 minutes, OK maybe 5. The caddies came home. Slammed the door . . . right below my bedroom. Even with the white-noise maker on, the room shook. Done.
Yesterday I went to hang out in the pool of my good friend, Missy. She has a great setup: an in-ground pool that leans more towards spa, than say . . . raccoon retreat.
Missy and her daughter ride horses competitively (it's really hard for me to say that, or as it turns out - to type that without breaking into Kevin Bacon singing: "She loves Horses," people it is a must see, click the link if you have not seen it), so Missy is not in town a lot. They travel to shows, and competitions on weekends. It's a bummer because Coach gets along really well with her husband - our husbands getting along is NOT the bummer - we would enjoy having a couple to socialize with if not for the horse-related travel . . . is the bummer.
They have kids close in age to Mini, Reg, and Curly. Reg is right in between the two boys. We have to beg Reg to stop talking about how great it is at their house and in their pool. How their lake house is the bomb. How food has never been prepared the way Missy prepares it. How very much food is offered. And would you believe, how magnificent it is that they keep their maple syrup in the fridge. Anything they do is over-the-moon amazing.
Reg has been a poop lately. Bad attitude. Mean to Curly. It is almost impossible to be mean to Curly, but he was. Someone needed to knock him off of his high horse. (again, I must share same link, in case you missed it: Cue the Kevin Bacon singing about horses link- not even planned. I know, it's a gift).
Reg is also not doing much in terms of school. Zoom is not ideal for him. He's not assertive enough to alert his teacher when Zoom kicks him off, or when he doesn't understand how to submit homework. I am copied on teacher emails. Not my preference, the school does it this way.
One teacher was like, "Is everything OK? You haven't turned in 5 assignments."
him about it got in his face and might have flipped out, he was
Oh, that's how you're going to play this? Highly ill-advised.
So, yesterday when Missy's son, who is Reg's best bud invited Reg to the lake house for the weekend, we said NO. Reg has been struggling ever since.
I spoke to Ed Friday evening, after the grounding.
Ed: Don't cave, like you always do. He cannot act this way. He needs this punishment.
Couple 'o things: I cave? Do I?
Thing #1: news to me. I thought I was a hard-ass. Don't I sound like a hard-ass?
Thing #2: Fortunately, the kids don't get in
trouble much, praise the lord. It's mostly get your socks off
the floor, and is that your plate not loaded in the dishwasher? And, who
ate 2 donuts when there should've been enough for everyone to have
one? So when these tougher punishments crop up, well - it sucks.
I was already feeling low, see above title of post. So now I am alerted to my lax parenthood style. Uplifting.
Earlier, on Thursday night, (note this is before the grounding, and yes - it played a role) I took Reg's phone for overuse and attitude and ignoring me, and then
he found it and
took it back and
lied about having taken it back.
AND THEN tried the same thing again,
after I confiscated it the 2nd time.
Repeat after me: thin. ice.
|Reg requested his hair go back to |
being short, this was not
part of his punishment.
|OK, so these are reversed, |
but it is after midnight. Long
after my bedtime.
Reg's hair before.
You know what's fun? Grounding a teenager and then having to live with that teenager. Insufferable. Lots of banging and begging and pleading, apparently because I am expected to cave. This explains why they always come to me when they want to wiggle out of something, while doing the over-the-shoulder look to see if Coach is within ear-shot. Nothing gets past me.
Even though Missy and I are friends, I have not said one word adoption. I thought it might be too hard for her to, ahem, keep it quiet. We really didn't tell many people, and those that we did are not people that live in our community. Mostly. Or people in our community with a steel trap when it comes to secrets.
Tank went on spring break for several years consecutively with his grade school best friend's family. A few years ago while on spring break, he told them we might adopt. I texted the mom afterwards and asked her not to tell anyone. She lives across the street from Missy.
At Missy's pool yesterday, Missy asked me point blank, "So, are you adopting a couple of kids? Friend-across-the-street told me you are." Ugh.
I texted Friend-across-the-street today (Saturday - this is important later, because I do NOT know what day it is) to say I know Tank shared it (and she clearly forgot that I asked her BACK THEN not to say anything) and I know you told Missy, but can you please not say anything to anyone else because we don't know if it is going to end up happening, we haven't even told our families, etc.
Friend-across-the-street (not to be confused by the way, with my 'friend' across the street, Mary Ann. I actually like this woman, but I don't hang out with her much): Oh sorry. I just figured she would know.
I so badly wanted to text back and say, WELL IF YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT IT THEN I AM PRETTY SURE YOU COULD HAVE TEXTED ME. I FOR SURE KNOW ABOUT IT.
Have I mentioned how grouchy I am? I don't really blame Tank. The kids need to process stuff, this is part of their life too. I also prefer to share stuff with my people in order to work stuff out, she says to the audience of people who are now nodding and collectively saying: YEAH, WE NOTICED.
Hell, it was really hard for me to share adoption stuff here. This 'leak' impacted me more than I would have expected. ( I almost added 'leak' to the post title, but mixing poop and leak in the title might have turned a few of you away). I don't want to recount our situation to people who pop up one after the other and ask about it.
After my 5 minute or less nap, my eyelid started to throb. I'm getting a stye. So, now I am ticked at the world AND pretty.
I tried for a 2nd nap on the couch in the study late afternoon, but I gave up a few minutes later. My mind was racing, you know why?
Ed called just before I laid down to say that his college roommate tested positive. Not a pregnancy test, mind you. They were both negative last week when they arrived. I will update you on Ed's next covid test in an upcoming post, maybe I will post a short one tomorrow with his status. Hang tight. Feeling antsy about having to wait? At least you don't have a throbbing eyelid.
Other issues, briefly: living with a 22 year old who struggles with perception and who can't own his behavior eats away at a person. I don't even have the energy to share an example (you're welcome), but it's exhausting.
Another big upsetting thing happened last week, and I'll share that later, but it was scary and it involved one of our kids.
Oh, so my class started. It is called Writing for Publication. I had to research a magazine that I hope to submit something to. So I read the other stuff this online magazine accepted and I wanted to crawl under the computer desk. What. was. I. thinking? I cannot write as well as these ACTUAL writers. I feel very defeated and full of self doubt.
Today: My self-doubting, irritated, wimpy-ass parent with the pulsating eye FORGOT to take Curly to volleyball. Only 4 sessions. Missed this one, flubbed the first two - more on that later cause this is way long. I just blanked that it was indeed Sunday. My mind feels crowded.
|If you look at the bottom of the picture you can see the crack. |
Or can you, you tell me. Never heard of quartz cracking.
Am I clueless? Pushover mom AND clueless about quartz.
Might be too much of a blow right now.
FINALLY, Curly made pancakes today, Sunday. First time. Supervised. Used the electric griddle. Same place on the island where I use it. Apparently due to the heat, my quartz counter-top on my enormous island cracked. Actually.
When it rains, is pours. It feels a bit mon-soon-ish here. Really though, all is well. Shit happens and sometimes it serves as a reminder that things are not so bad. Could be worse.
I slept till 9 am today (Sunday). Unbelievable. I cut some of the boys' hair. I made a great dinner that will serve as leftovers as the week gets busy. I baked because it was not horribly hot out. I let Reg and Curly invite a bunch of friends over after dinner to play capture the flag, and I served them warm cookies. And, I still am in possession of Reg's phone. Sounds like a win, right?
Did you used to wiggle out of punishments, was one parent easier on you than the other? If you are a parent, do you struggle to stick to your guns? And, hey, who enjoyed the Kevin Bacon video?