May 13, 2020

when Zoom takes a backseat and other adventures

A few weeks ago, Coach and I had a Zoom conference with Lad's therapist, Chip.  When Lad is involved he figures out how to get us all on the same screen, etc. because apparently Lad's parents are as old as dirt.

This meeting was minus Lad because it was more of our last ditch effort to see if Chip felt the latest 'Lad stuff' warranted more of a response than what he was usually giving us.  

*Update:  certainly no picnic, but since exams ended Thursday May 7th and since his girlfriend broke up with him also Thursday, we are seeing a MUCH more approachable, slightly less disruptive Lad.  Not saying we aren't going to seek help for him, but we are breathing again.  Was this relationship with this girl toxic?  Or is stress not doable for him?  Jury is out.  This story is from the darker days.

This photo really could go with the last post, but I have no photo to go with this post and I thought you might find this entertaining.  In my last comment to Gigi, I described our fridge as a giant Jenga game.  I never know what is going to fall out when I try to get something out.  Keep in mind, I have another full fridge in the basement that I rarely look at because our home is overrun by minions and why they drive me crazy, there is NO reason for me to haul ass up and down the stairs so long as they live here and eat constantly.  I also have 2 fridge drawers that are in our snackbar/mini-island on the far side of the kitchen straddling the family room.  These drawers were ordered to keep adult beverages during parties and kids' after school snacks.  Could.Not.Get.By.Without.Them.  All this to say, this is only PART of our stash.
We were basically waving our arms on the roof of our house like you see those people trapped in flood waters, screaming:  "Now what, Chip?  Is THIS on your radar, cause we are thinking this requires more attention than what you are suggesting."

Coach raced in from the clinic just in time to jump into the conference- when it was over in an hour he would race back to work.  Thankfully his clinic is 7 minutes from our home.  Not sure if I have ever mentioned that - it sounds lovely, right?  

Well, in normal times when the health club attached to his clinic is open and he has freedom to use their bathroom and not pollute the air space in his one-bathroom clinic, he would almost never just zip home mid day.  He does not have a completely full caseload of patients so that helps.  Otherwise, I rarely benefit from his close proximity to home.  Not sure I count the 'let me use our plumbing' as a benefit either.  

Oh, the other unique thing about Coach working close to home is crossing paths with patients.  Coach has been treating in the same clinic for close to 18 years, I think.  Now when we run into one of his former patients, he fumbles around because he CANNOT introduce me.  He never remembers their names, just their ailments.  

It goes like this, "Oh, hi.  How's it going?  You haven't been in to see me for a while.  That must be a good thing.  Your back giving you any trouble?  No, better than ever?  *insert patient turning to me and asking me if I know what kind of a miracle worker I am married to*  Great, glad to hear it.  Take care."  

(we walk 3 steps away), "Sorry, he's such a great guy but damn if I can remember his name.  That was so awkward."  Me nodding, yep.  Used to it.

We had not really discussed where we were going to Zoom with Chip.  Only privacy in these here parts is in the shower.  It's like standing in a cornfield.  Ears everywhere.

Coach beckoned me to the garage.  He suggested we crawl into the backseat of the great white 12 seater van.  Funny- I had the same idea.  We connected with Chip - all 3 of us are Skype challenged and we didn't have Lad to set it up (I know I said Zoom, but Skype was our platform of choice, look at me sounding all business-world-ish . . . NOT).  It was dark in the car and we were wiggling around trying to get comfortable, and I dropped my pen and needed to find a fresh page in my notebook.  

Coach finally shared with Chip, "Um, not sure when the last time was that we were in the backseat of a car together in the dark, but that is where we are."  Chip laughed and asked us if we wanted some alone time and we could check back with him later.  

Nothing like a little laughter to reposition my 'WELL, THIS FUCKING SUCKS' mentality.

It did get me thinking, when was the last time we were in the backseat of a car?  

I think we spent the night in the back of my 2 door Plymouth Sundance in a parking lot at Notre Dame YEARS ago.  It was not a romantic rendezvous.  I cannot recall, but I think the place we were supposed to stay ended up not working out at the last minute.  Here I define 'spending the night' as-in we were young enough to not have even attempted to get some sleep until well after 2 am anyway, so it may have been more of a nap.  I think I was a bit stiff the next day.  Ah memories, young love, and just look at us now.

Back to our Skype session in our big old van that has 130,000 miles on it where Coach did NOT put the moves on me.  We were nearly finished meeting Chip and Lad decided to go fishing at a local pond, so he came out to the garage to get fishing poles and saw Coach and I sitting in the backseat of the van in front of the laptop.  "What're you guys doing?" he puzzled. 

Smooth as silk.  You know what else is smooth?  My joints as they bitched at me for climbing in and out of the backseat of our big-ass van.  


Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh....YOU GUYS are a hoot! I mean, aside from the hell you've been going through; this made me laugh.
also: It's like standing in a cornfield. Ears everywhere.

*sigh* I remember making out in, I can't even imagine making out. LOL!

I do wonder if the GF was adding to his stress??

A few years ago Linds was dating a guy and I thought everything was hunky-dory; it turns out it was a toxic relationship and she never let on to us about that part. So, she was so much happier and lighter after they broke up.

Also, exams. That certainly could add to his worries/stress.

E. I love you. But I can't even with that fridge. It gives ME anxiety!

Ernie said...

Suz - Even in times of high stress we manage to pull off a couple of laughs. Coach lived with his parents until we got married. There was some making out in cars. I wish I remembered more about that ND visit and why we had to bunk down in my hatchback. Maybe I am better off not remembering? Ha. Nothin like the good ole days.

Lad admitted to Coach yesterday that he and girlfriend still talk. Her parents are apparently divorcing and she is just a mess right now. I cannot wrap my brain around any of it. Regardless of whether or not she is great or toxic, he is too young and too scattered right now in my opinion to be serious with a gal. He needs to focus on some other stuff.

The last few days have been rough with him and I asked how his last paper was coming and he was like, "Well now I have 3 case studies and one more exam." No clue. Since when did exams GROW and replicate AFTER they were done? I think he is struggling to wrap up the school year. A guy thought he had a job for him and yesterday FINALLY admitted that he does not. *sobbing*

Your fridge comment made me cackle. I suspect STRONGLY that you would not be able to relax in any corner of my currently well-lived in house. I took a video of myself walking inside when it was raining last week and I couldn't walk outside. Then I decided I can't show this! People would freak the eff out. Little piles of shit everywhere as I do my walking path. Ha.

Kari said...

I don't even recall the last time I just sat in the backseat. Man, the stuff I used to do in a FRONT seat, let alone a back seat. Ahh, good times. None of which were with my ex, to be clear and not gross you out.

I mean, maybe it WAS the girlfriend? Maybe he knew the breakup was imminent or like you said, she was toxic. I hope better days are on the horizon for you guys and Lad too.

Beth Cotell said...

Hopefully now that school is out, he will continue to improve.

Ernie said...

Kari - Ha. Thanks for the glimpse into your past, you wild thing. No idea if this girlfriend played a part. Regardless, he needs to get help. We have found a new place and he has agreed, so we consider that progress.

Beth - We plan to start with a new therapist in the next few days. So many issues that need to be addressed. Hoping and praying this is the ticket.

Bibliomama said...

Any physio patient who expected to have their name remembered is a dumbass, so I wouldn't worry on that front. One of my best friend's previously nearly perfect teenage boy is currently going through girlfriend stuff and it's a nightmare, so while I doubt that it's the entirety of Lad's issue, it could definitely have been adding to the trouble. And honestly, I'd be surprised if your fridge DIDN'T look like that, given the number of people you have to feed. My fridge sometimes looks similar, but it's the only one we have.

Ernie said...

Ali- Yes, I think the 'I don't remember your name' issue is self-imposed by Coach. It is funny though how he remembers such details of their surgery, the surgeon, their life in general, their job, yet never a name. I do think Lad's stuff involves much more than the girlfriend. Shrotly after this fridge photo was taken, Reg knocked over the protein/fruit smoothie trying to reach something. Shock. One night of leftovers and the thing looks barren again.