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May 29, 2020

Curly's no-covid-excuse haircut, plus photos galore


Tank holding Curly pre-hair. 
We just stumbled across this
 pic and we CANNOT
believe her cheeks. 
I have always cut the boys' hair, including Coach.  I cut the girls' hair when they were young, even giving Mini a cute bob that I called the grape-juice haircut.  

Reason being:  I felt like Ernie (no pun intended) when he tried to evenly share grape-juice with Bert.  He kept pouring a bit and then deciding someone had too much, and taking a few sips to even it out.  Well, straightening Mini's bob out was not my most shining moment as a fake beautician.  
Curly age 3, and I thought the hair
was tough to comb through back then.
 It is so incredibly curly now.
  I wish I could share a feel
-think poodle on steroids.

Then along came Curly.  I thought her curly hair was made for shining moments.  Her hair was SO darn forgiving.  She has a mass of serious curls and if one side was a tad longer than another, who knew?  

Coach and I will soon be buying a second home with all the haircut money we have saved over the years.  OK, fake news, but you get the point.  

December 2018:  Curly's hair began to look like a triangle.  My beautician suggested I buy a thinning shears and thin it out to give it more shape.  I watched YouTube videos, sat her down in the bathroom (because- Chicago winter), and got started.  Mini was in the room and every little clip I made, Mini shrieked until I invited her to LEAVE the bathroom.  

Silly to show her face as a tot but not as a big kid? 
Hmm, maybe.  If I am anything, it is
half-ass when it comes
to hiding our identity lately.  Maybe because I
am all, bring-it Mary Ann!  I think the kids
 are harder to ID as tots and babies
 vs their current faces.  Oh, this is an
example of triangle hair, but looking
 back it isn't so bad.  (sobs softly) 
 
The results were fabulous.  She had shape.  It was manageable - as in she could get through it without horrible knots.  She was delighted.  

The thing I learned early on when cutting Curly's hair is that if I cut a tiny fraction of hair off, her hair sprung up and looked 2 inches shorter.  I had to focus really hard not to cut off too much from the length or it would look crazy short.

May 2019:  Last year in early May, Coach and I took Curly out to lunch. 

We take the kids out alone two times a year for breakfast or lunch and it was her turn.  It was a beautiful spring day, and she pointed out that she was ready for another haircut.  She was starting to get triangle-ish again.  When we got home, she was all:  CAN YOU DO CUT MY HAIR NOW?

My arsenal
I gathered my stuff and told her to get it wet and meet me on the deck.  Her friend's mom texted me and asked if Curly could come and play.  Ugh.  Curly was like, OH, PLEASE CAN I GO TO HER HOUSE?  JUST HURRY UP AND CUT MY HAIR AND THEN I WILL GO.

I texted back:  Cutting her hair, she'll be over soon.  

This, my 2nd time thinning her hair didn't go quite so well.  I blame the HURRY UP factor.  Friends, I ran that thinning scissors up AND down her hair, then back again in the other direction.  I was not as focused as the day in the bathroom when I carefully chose select strands and thinned them, and started only from about 6 inches away from the root.  I needed Mini's shrieking to remind me to be CAUTIOUS.  

No words.
Afterwards, Curly ran upstairs to shower.  I looked at my deck and felt a tad ill that Curly's curls were EVERYWHERE.  I reminded myself that I always feel this way when Curly's beautiful locks scatter.  

A moment later I heard Curly holler from my bathroom.  I ran upstairs.  Mini was in there and carefully made horrified faces from angles that Curly could not see- even in the mirror.  
Off of the deck, blowing in the
breeze- my girl's hair.

Curly was crying:  WHAT DID YOU DO?  IT'S ALL COMING OUT!

She was not lying.  I assured her that she just needed to comb through it and that it would be fine.  I took the brush and brushed through it.  I told her that was it, no more would come out.  I pointed her face at the mirror, SEE?  YOU STILL HAVE ALL KINDS OF HAIR.

Curly held up the brush to me and sobbed:  LOOK!

Dear God, I could have ditched babysitting to become a wig-maker.  There was THAT much hair in the brush.  

A somewhat distorted photo of Mini because
 I took the picture while it was in a frame.
 See - her hair.  So pretty,
then straight (still pretty),
now back to long ringlets, especially
 with the help of her twisty turban.
I fumbled for words.  Ultimately, I told her that it would still look cute, it always did.  Plus it would grow back.  I apologized profusely and told her I should have re-watched the videos to remember what I was doing.  I admitted that I was probably racing.  After the shower, it perked up and she decided it was cute, but we both knew I had gone overboard.  

Days later, Tank would sit behind her on the family room floor and make jerking hand motions behind her head to point out the many strange geometric shapes in her remaining curls.  If only my dagger looks aimed at him could be felt from across the room.  

I think part of the deal with Curly's hair is that it was transforming from little kid hair to hair that changes after hormones/puberty.  Does anyone else find that their kids' hair does this?  

Walking in Vancouver last summer.  Not sure
you can tell, but majorly frizzy
and lots of up and down dips. 
Oh, the guilt.
Example:  Mini had curly hair as a tot.  Think loose ringlets.  Then in grade school her hair was pretty straight with a wave to it.  After puberty, serious curls - not as afro-esque as Curly's, but really curly.  

So, Curly's hair now has SO MANY different layers and lengths to it, it has driven her crazy over the course of the year.  It has been growing out ever so gradually and I pointed out early on in the pandemic that by the time we were done with house-arrest her friends would be shocked at how much it had come back.  

I admit though, when Reg had his graduation pictures taken at school in January, I calculated that Curly has 2 years before her 8th grade grad pics are taken and I hope by then her hair will be BACK to normal.  

(image credit:  Google) Zoe with same
wispies as Curly at the sides.
Lately Curly has a handful of curls that hang down below the rest.  Honestly she reminds me of a Muppet.  Parts of this hang-down-below-the-rest hairs are very feather-light and they bounce in the breeze.  Thus:  Muppet resemblance with hair flying around like those puppets with feathers and lightweight fur.  I swear she looks a tad like Zoe from Sesame Street.  

Oh, and I am raising my right hand here and swearing, triangle or not - Curly will be going to a professional from now on.  I even met a woman at a graduation party last summer who gave me the name of a beautician who specializes in curly haircuts.  

Anyone else ever destroy your kid's hair accidentally?  

Note:  I think I am subliminally inserted the 'going to lunch' story to assure you I am not a horrible parent who thoughtlessly sheered the shit out of my kid's hair.




9 comments:

Beth Cotell said...

I think you are brave for even attempting to cut her hair! But I think it's wise to let a professional take over now. :) I'm glad you have the name of a stylist that specializes in curly hair because that will probably make all the difference in the world!

Kari Wagner Hoban said...

First, HOW ON EARTH did she get those curls? Were they from you or Coach? Because they are just magical. Tell her she has magical hair. For real.

But as a mom, I cannot imagine having to deal with that hair. Ella is so sensitive to combing, so the toddler years were hell. Which is why she had a bob haircut for most of those years.


Anonymous said...

I left the hair-cutting to the professionals for a couple of reasons. My girls would sit still for our stylist and I can't see straight. Everything goes down hill for some reason. I did manage to cut a hunk out of my daughter's eyebrow though. She kept bugging me to shape her eyebrows and I finally gave in to using this microblade. Well let's just say it didn't go well and she wore a bandaid for a while. I told her we could fill it in with an eyebrow pencil but she wouldn't let me come near her!

Ally Bean said...

I have curly hair but it's more wavy than Curly's hair. I cannot cut my own hair, all those layers, all those weird twists. I admire you for trying but as a lifelong curlyhead, I predict that Curly will be spending oodles of money getting professional haircuts and using salon products.

Bibliomama said...

I do think the lunch thing is a lovely tradition to get each kid some one-on-one time. My hair has enough wave that it's tricky to cut myself but fairly forgiving. It's not great, but better than it would be if I'd let it grow for all of lockdown. Bringing her to a professional from now on is probably a good call. Eve's hair definitely changed after puberty - she used to have the most gorgeous long loose curls and it's straighter now - it's still nice, but she's a little bitter. Those cheeks are very enjoyable.

Gigi said...

I'm not surprised that the curls spring up after being cut - because I know how much mine springs up as it dries. I would imagine cutting her hair dry and slowly MIGHT work...but yes, a professional would do a great job.

Kara said...

You may be on to something with the hormones. My youngest had wispy pale blonde hair until she was 10 (but always had super dark eyebrows). Now she's almost 13, and her hair is getting thicker and darker, with waves that the other girls are jealous of.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my goodness; her hair. those cheeks. her hair. that face.
That was how I read your post. ;)
What beautiful kiddos you have. Yes, curly hair like this needs a specialist; I would never have tried to tackle that back when I was doing hair.
And, I love that you take the kids out alone a few times a year; that must be a really nice time.

Linds has really long eyebrow hairs; sounds weird, but it's true. In HS she asked if I could shape them. I brushed one side up, took my shears and cut them straight across. But when we brushed them as they normally should be, it looked horrid. It took a few weeks to grow back and now she nor I touch them. ;)

Ernie said...

Beth - I read brave as dumb. :) On to the professional - but we still need to wait FOREVER so it becomes close to be ready to be cut.

Kari - Magical is a good word for it, and I think she knows that because when we are allowed to go places, EVERYONE literally stops and either compliments her or asks if they can touch it. No joke. You bring up a good point, both girls suffer from what I consider an insanely sensitive scalp condition. And they Irish dance/danced so that means people pulling at their hair to put it in wigs. Torture.

Anonymous - The boys' hair is so much easier, although Reg wanted to keep his hair longer and I thought I was doing it with the same length blade thing I always use, but it was shorter than he wanted and I felt awful, because teenage boys and all. Every once in a while I mess up around the boys' ears and they look a little goofy.

Ally - I have always spent more on Curly's hair products than my own. I would walk in and beg the people at the store to help me find a great detangler. Brushing through it was a nightmare. I forgot to pack the girls' hair products back when we went to Yellowstone 10 years ago. It was ugly in more than one way. Not something all that easy to pick up in the middle of nowhere. Plus the screaming that came from within our cabin, probably had people thinking we were be eaten by bears. I was so happy when she was able to start caring for it herself.

Ali - We have not been able to do the one on one breakfast lunch thing for months and Coach and I are gonna start packing on the pounds as we start cramming the meals in double time. I used to cut my hair all the time in college. My friends though I was crazy, but I had just enough body that it was fairly forgiving. Curly had some kind of issue as a baby and after her initial chubbiness she got very very thin. All my kids were off the charts big, but she was barely in the 5% range. They never really figured it out, but at 11 mos I introduced whole milk in place of breast-milk and she doubled in size in like a month. (that photo was when she was tiny and her tummy trouble had not really hit yet).

Gigi - I have agreed to continue to be cheap with the boy hair and not the girls'. Professional help here we come. (let's hope I have not scarred her so much that she requires the other kind of professional help).

Kara - I was thrilled when Mini's hair started getting curly again, because she was always looking at Curly's hair longingly. Who wouldn't?

Suz - thanks, I know I am partial, but I do think they are cuties - especially those toddler and baby photos. So so sweet. Then they start talking back and their mom shaves their hair off and it is all downhill. Ha. OMG the eyebrow story. I have bushy eyebrows, but I just cannot bring myself to be much into primping so the bushiness stays.