Pandemic quotes ( a quick read)

Besides the things that you already know that I say, like:

“Where the ef are those girl scout cookies?”

See that little red skin on my middle finger?
 It looks like a bit of potato skin. 
Nope, that is a bit of Ernie skin.  

And the internal dialogue I assume we all are consumed by: 

“No, you don’t need to touch your face.  You can itch your nose later.”  I convince myself of this once a week when I walk into the grocery store.

I am also enjoying my fair share of Tank quotes:

“Did you cut yourself?  Don't feed me a potato that you got blood on.” This while I was peeling potatoes and when I did in fact manage to skin off the front of my knuckle.  There is a more involved me-cutting-myself story that I will get to in a later post, so besides hunting for TP you have that to look forward to.

The same day I peeled myself, Curly noted that the
 strawberries I sliced up left a heart shaped stain
 on the cutting board.  I have a love/hate
 relationship with my kitchen knives
 so this made me chuckle.  

“Oh, look at us being big.” Tank excitedly told me this with one of his somewhat insincere, goofy overly expressive faces while I was assisting him during the cooking of his learning-to-cook-meal. 

“Wow, Mommy IS kicking it.  Yeah, she's amazing, right?” Coach started off with a kind of ‘Look at Mommy go, whoo whoo!’  He was teasing/praising me from the kitchen while I was working out with weights in the family room.  Then Tank joined in with the above.  I am hesitant to share this lest you think Tank was being an ass.  You might have had-to-be-there, but Tank was being funny.  He talks like this in a goofy voice and squishes his face up and does a ridiculous Ace-Pet-Ventura smile and you cannot help but laugh.  He completes the moment with a fit of loud, over-the-top laughter.  Yes, I almost dropped my weights as I struggled not to chuckle, and this is why I try to work out before people are awake.

Then there is Mini:  “Have you seen my phone?”  This has nothing to do with the pandemic, but the girl can literally never find her phone and being confined to home has not helped. 

And the ever popular, all-family crisis:  “Who took my charger?”  Followed closely by:  “Who unplugged my phone when it wasn’t done charging?”  I have no idea if other families struggle in this way.  I will say when we were in New York loading up Lad’s apartment, I collected several chargers from the floor of his place.  Where are they now?  I wish I had not stuffed them in one of his boxes.  I stupidly left my phone charger at the eye doctor awhile back when Reg was attempting contacts.  They are holding it for me, but I never made it back prior to lockdown.   

Just about any family member, other than me:  "Who wants to play volleyball?"  Next to ping pong the volleyball net and nice enough weather to use the net are my saving graces.  Like ping pong, I do not play.  Well, not usually.  I hate volleyball - it hurts my arms.  

Which leads me to Mini:  "Mommy, you should play volleyball.  Everyone will be nice to you."  So, I did join in after I took a little video with my phone which I am sharing here.  Um, the only people who were nice to me were the people on the opposing team* who offered encouraging words after I missed a ball as they were high-fiving their good fortune at me NOT being on their team. 

Tank ran into me because he tried to get a ball that was literally coming right for me.  He did not want to leave anything to chance.  I did manage to hit a few balls over the net.  Have I mentioned that we are raising a competitive group here?  

Never hurts to check to see if I might suddenly enjoy something I hated as a kid - but sadly my hatred for volleyball persists, as my love increases for peace and quiet inside the house while the rest of the family plays volleyball.  

*Lest you think we are not social distancing, the people on the other team are family members.  I sometimes wonder if people walking/driving by see us out there playing (our house is on the corner) and suspect we are law-breakers who are hosting a party.  Not the case.  This is not a party - even the volleyball games that end without people shouting at one another . . . still, no party.

“It's OK, we are just gonna to boil the dented ping pong balls.”  This was Ed and Tank in the kitchen when I yelled from my study:  who is banging around in the kitchen? 

Our family hit a scary crisis when an undamaged ping pong ball could not be found a few weeks ago.  The boiling worked and could maybe count as an e-learning science experiment.  The next time I ran to Target I did stock up on new balls because holy hell – I do not want to live in a world trapped in my house without ping pong as an option.   The horrors.  

What have you said since the start of the pandemic that would otherwise not have been a part of your typical conversation?