April 13, 2020

Pandemic quotes ( a quick read)

Besides the things that you already know that I say, like:
“Where the ef are those girl scout cookies?”

See that little red skin on my middle finger?
 It looks like a bit of potato skin. 
Nope, that is a bit of Ernie skin.
And the internal dialogue I assume we all are consumed by: 
“No, you don’t need to touch your face.  You can itch your nose later.”  I convince myself of this once a week when I walk into the grocery store.

I am also enjoying my fair share of Tank quotes:

“Did you cut yourself?  Don't feed me a potato that you got blood on.” This while I was peeling potatoes and when I did in fact manage to skin off the front of my knuckle.  There is a more involved me-cutting-myself story that I will get to in a later post, so besides hunting for TP you have that to look forward to.

The same day I peeled myself, Curly noted that the
 strawberries I sliced up left a heart shaped stain
 on the cutting board.  I have a love/hate
 relationship with my kitchen knives
 so this made me chuckle. 
“Oh, look at us being big.” Tank excitedly told me this with one of his somewhat insincere, goofy overly expressive faces while I was assisting him during the cooking of his learning-to-cook-meal. 

“Wow, Mommy IS kicking it.  Yeah, she's amazing, right?” Coach started off with a kind of ‘Look at Mommy go, whoo whoo!’  He was teasing/praising me from the kitchen while I was working out with weights in the family room.  Then Tank joined in with the above.  I am hesitant to share this lest you think Tank was being an ass.  You might have had-to-be-there, but Tank was being funny.  He talks like this in a goofy voice and squishes his face up and does a ridiculous Ace-Pet-Ventura smile and you cannot help but laugh.  He completes the moment with a fit of loud, over-the-top laughter.  Yes, I almost dropped my weights as I struggled not to chuckle, and this is why I try to work out before people are awake.

Then there is Mini:  “Have you seen my phone?”  This has nothing to do with the pandemic, but the girl can literally never find her phone and being confined to home has not helped. 

And the ever popular, all-family crisis:  “Who took my charger?”  Followed closely by:  “Who unplugged my phone when it wasn’t done charging?”  I have no idea if other families struggle in this way.  I will say when we were in New York loading up Lad’s apartment, I collected several chargers from the floor of his place.  Where are they now?  I wish I had not stuffed them in one of his boxes.  I stupidly left my phone charger at the eye doctor awhile back when Reg was attempting contacts.  They are holding it for me, but I never made it back prior to lockdown.   

Just about any family member, other than me:  "Who wants to play volleyball?"  Next to ping pong the volleyball net and nice enough weather to use the net are my saving graces.  Like ping pong, I do not play.  Well, not usually.  I hate volleyball - it hurts my arms.  

Which leads me to Mini:  "Mommy, you should play volleyball.  Everyone will be nice to you."  So, I did join in after I took a little video with my phone which I am sharing here.  Um, the only people who were nice to me were the people on the opposing team* who offered encouraging words after I missed a ball as they were high-fiving their good fortune at me NOT being on their team. 

Tank ran into me because he tried to get a ball that was literally coming right for me.  He did not want to leave anything to chance.  I did manage to hit a few balls over the net.  Have I mentioned that we are raising a competitive group here?  

Never hurts to check to see if I might suddenly enjoy something I hated as a kid - but sadly my hatred for volleyball persists, as my love increases for peace and quiet inside the house while the rest of the family plays volleyball.  

*Lest you think we are not social distancing, the people on the other team are family members.  I sometimes wonder if people walking/driving by see us out there playing (our house is on the corner) and suspect we are law-breakers who are hosting a party.  Not the case.  This is not a party - even the volleyball games that end without people shouting at one another . . . still, no party.

“It's OK, we are just gonna to boil the dented ping pong balls.”  This was Ed and Tank in the kitchen when I yelled from my study:  who is banging around in the kitchen? 

Our family hit a scary crisis when an undamaged ping pong ball could not be found a few weeks ago.  The boiling worked and could maybe count as an e-learning science experiment.  The next time I ran to Target I did stock up on new balls because holy hell – I do not want to live in a world trapped in my house without ping pong as an option.   The horrors.  

What have you said since the start of the pandemic that would otherwise not have been a part of your typical conversation?  


Kari said...

This is a good post idea! Quotes from quarantine. I might need to start keeping a note in my phone to record them.

I love that your Mini still calls you mommy. My girls both just call me mom and only save mommy for when they want something LOL.

Also, "where is my phone" and "have you seen my charger" are also said here. Hourly.

Anonymous said...

I have one "where's my phone" and the other "who unplugged my phone when it was only at 99%". Sigh...

Kara said...

All three have the same model Chromebook. All three in theory have the same Chromebook charger. Except my middle child cannot ever find her charger (she's 15, is Mini that age too?), and constantly "borrows" her sisters chargers and loses those too.

Things I've been saying "Why is there so much laundry, if you don't wear pants?" "When was the last time you actually left the house?" "When did you last take a shower?"

Busy Bee Suz said...

I love your quotes. I was watching the volleyball video and I too wondered if people passing by might think you're breaking the law. Well, not really the law, but you know.

I'm glad the kids have at least two physical outlets to keep them busy, aside from school, being funny and cooking.

I seem to recall back in the day we had the charger problem until everyone labeled theirs and then it was game over.

Why is it that our face itches at the most inopportune times?

Are your knives too dull?

I've probably said: "I'm never going to finish this puzzle a hundred times."
Kinda quiet over here though...:)

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

My kids always know where there phone is because it's usually in their hands! I am the one always laying mine down and never remembering where. I can't think of anything unusual that any of us has said lately. I'm just grumpier than normal so whatever I do say tends to have a certain tone. I think I need to work on that! :)

Oh, and check my blog today to see in action the thing you didn't recognize from my window!

Nicole said...

I'm just in awe of the green grass. GREEN GRASS. We still have so much snow!! Hmmm...quotes...I can't think of any actually!

Ernie said...

Kari - I already have a whole other quote list to post soon. It keeps growing. Lad just stopped calling me Mommy and Ed followed his lead - maybe senior year in college. Otherwise, I am Mommy, damn it. And Coach is still Daddy. I have no idea why. I don't every remember calling my folks mommy and daddy.

Anonymous - The thing about the charger is that we (not including Coach because he charges in our bathroom which is smart - no one messes with his charger) are all sharing like 3 functioning chargers. There are some chargers that are decoys and they don't work but no one dares to throw them away because if you are desperate and you jiggle them enough they will charge. I would take 99% in a heart beat.

Kara - I busted a gut laughing at the laundry when you don't wear pants. Exactly! I did have to order Curly into the shower yesterday at 2 in the afternoon. It was time!

Suz - Please note - labeling stuff here means NOTHING. I thought I was brilliant the year the kids all got towels with their names embroidered on them for Christmas. They have no shame and will use whatever they find. This drives Curly crazy, because she always finds her towels wet and used on the bathroom floor. I do not exaggerate when I say they are pigs.

I think the face itching is similar to having an amazing hair day the day before you have a scheduled cut after a string of horrid hair days.

No, the knives are NOT dull. Oh contraire. We ordered them last summer after years of incredibly dull knives that I was apparently way too comfortable with. It has been problematic for me.

Today I lost my shit and the kids' past time was 'clean this shit hole up!' I reached my limit of squalor and I can breathe again, mostly.

Beth - Mini is a weird egg - she can go an entire day without looking at her phone. This is annoying when we cannot reach her during 'normal' times. Texts like: 'We are going to be near the high school will you be ready at 5:30?' - go unanswered.

Nicole - I CANNOT imagine still dealing with snow. That would suck. Really. Being quarantined and not having spring arrive, I shudder to think of it.

Bibliomama said...

I have a prized potato peeler that is wickedly sharp and I love it and I peel part of my finger off with it every goddamned time. It's nice that you almost have a team on your own, and really, who cares what people think? Eve just mentioned yesterday how weird it is that our phones keep getting lost even when we haven't left the house. I can't think of any quotes specific to quarantine, although the "I have to do school work and I don't WAAAAANT TO" (she always does it, I don't even have to tell her to, she just needs to moan about it beforehand) repetitions have multiplied now that they apply to during-the-school-day in addition to after.

Ernie said...

Ali - I, too, love my very sharp potato peeler despite the bits of skin I sacrifice with each use. Coach once gave me a potato peeler for Christmas because it had a cushie handle. This was years ago when I had been using one of those strictly metal deal-ios. Still, this is one of the reasons I now insist on shopping for myself for Christmas.

I have heard my fair share of whining about doing school work. One of Mini's teachers is apparently expecting so much more than all of the other teachers that it is making her crazy. Hmm, still oodles of time to find to play cards and watch movies and leave a pile of dirty clothes on various bathroom floors, so not really on board with the whining.