optimistic, at best

I am either the greatest optimist of all time, or just incredibly dumb.  I wake up every day thinking of all the things I am going to get done and then I go to bed at night having accomplished only a few things from my list, and yet - I wake up the next day with the same 'I've got this' mindset.  How. Can. This. Be?  

I am leaning towards the fact that I possibly have a very low IQ.  

Where does the time that I have such big plans for disappear to?  My children are not tiny and do not need me to entertain them.  I guess, ideally, I would be more involved in their e-learning, but the best I can do is read emails from teachers and scold peeps for not doing the assigned work (looking at you exclusively, Reg).

I binge watch nothing.  Like zero.  I don't even know what the deal is with this lion and tiger guy who apparently entertains folks on Netflix.  We don't have Netflix.  I sometimes squeeze in a family movie in the evening after dinner, but the battle to agree on what to watch is sucking the life out of me.  The eye roll from Coach (if a questionable scene pops up that I have inadvertently forgotten about, because I am old and suffer from low brain function) is not ideal.  Last night, I didn't even try with the TV- I crawled in bed and read my book.  

My house is far from neat, clean, and tidy.  Shit, I would settle for ONE of those.  I believe in child labor, and yet I am not getting a great deal of work from my built in labor force.  So, again - where is the time and why is my list still staring at me, perhaps even laughing at me?  

I AM NOT BABYSITTING RIGHT NOW - so there is less diaper changing and baby corralling and high chair wiping and so on happening, see?  You follow me?  I am practically a lady of leisure.    

If I had to take a stab, I would say my time has been consumed by the following, not in any particular order because why tax someone with such limited brain power:  

Skunk smell:  Trying to decipher the horrid, very bad smell that has twice overpowered the upstairs.  It is a skunk like odor -not human at all - that is then covered with some perfume-like spray of some sort.  This has Lad written all over it.  My guess:  marijuana.  If that is the case, time to get the tent out of the garage and he can get his ass out of my house and into the yard.  Quarantine or not.  

Chicken parmigiana - a la Tank

Meal prep:  while the kids have cooked several meals recently, I have been heavily involved.  The day that Lad cooked his zucchini pizza boats, for example, he called me no less than 18 times from the store.  My services have also been required during the actual cooking.  Still a total positive, but not as time saving as it sounds.  

Extended workouts:  I have been working out more than I have ever worked out before.  Coach and I sometimes go to his clinic before patients arrive and go home before anyone shows up  - think shoemakers elves or something.  I can ride a stationary bike there, and then come home and do the rest of my strength with a bit of cardio mixed in.  Ed helped me download a fitness app on my phone so I am tracking how many calories I burn and what I eat.  It is eye opening.  

**As an aside - if I ask Ed for help on the app, because of my cluelessness with technology and my obvious brain issues, he might disown me or chase me down the street at a high speed, thus burning more calories.  

Naps:  See above workouts.  Seriously sometimes even after sleeping 8 or 9 hours at night, I MUST sleep.  Last week, I woke up and ate and then went back to bed where I said a rosary and then slept for over 2 more hours.  I tend to need more sleep than most adults I know, but this is extreme.  I blame the excessive workouts.  And yet - this is my favorite time suck of all, so I am going to embrace it.  Amazing how the kids don't wake me from a nap.  They are smarter than me apparently, and they know that when I am awake, I will take up the below cause . . . 

One-woman-police-force:  Begging children to remove themselves from Xbox or stop watching the entire Office series for the 5th time or ordering them to do shit that I could do faster and simpler myself like unload or load the dishwasher, but that is not the point.  Or noticing jobs that were never done from the day before and then trying to remember who was supposed to sort a load of laundry or sweep the kitchen and get on that kid's case.  Or reminding people to practice their music.  Oh, and I have had to argue with kids who beg to be able to go hang out with friends.  - well, shit - all that hollering and policing is exhausting.  All this takes lots of swearing and also:  time.  

Projects:  I had a few kids help me rid the family room of the baby equipment that litters that room usually.  Playpen.  Garden.  Toy kitchen.   It is all shoved in the dining room now.  The girls and I sewed masks for health care workers - great project, but holy time consumption.  I am insisting that the Irish musicians in the house all learn the same tune so they can play something together.  For some reason I am not confident that this video will work.  The last 15 seconds is when they start to play together.   Once they have it down, we might add Lad on his drum (if we invite him in from his tent).  Ed has not agreed to try to learn the tune on the piano  - he used to play.  Even if I agree to NEVER ask him for help finding an exercise to upload to the fitness app again.  Still working on it.  If the clip plays, you might hear their ACTUAL names and see their real faces.  Times are tough and we need to be amused somehow - if this is not the time to let our guard down, then when?  

Writing:  I am doing that writing class that I stressed out about so much that I feared I would not be blogging as much and for which I prepared and froze buckets of food in advance.   The class is going well.  I have not had a single point deducted on any assignment yet so I am either a rock star or I might need a more challenging class.  How great would it be if I was 'discovered' like that woman from England who sang on the talent show and blew Simon's socks off years ago?  Yeah, there I go again - napping AND dreaming.  

Laundry:  This doesn't seem to get any lighter.  I am doing my part - wearing the same outer layer a few days in a row, easily accomplished with no babies to wipe snot and food on me.  I have a few cozy pullovers I gravitate towards, because it is fricking freezing here STILL.  

So, I must go and attend to my damn list or I fear I will wake up to Ground Hog Day all over again tomorrow.