odd things your spouse is afraid of, a sharing is caring post

When Lad refused to start the movie thru his laptop the other night because he was mad at Tank, I told him to move on and not punish everyone.  He had agreed to set up the movie JUST DO IT.  I wanted to ask him how he expected to be fed now that he was dependent on us, but I refrained.  Barely.  

Then our internet connection was so lousy that the movie kept buffering, so we watched Raising Arizona that I had taped from Direct TV because it was PG.  If this is a movie you enjoy, then I apologize in advance for hating on it.  We did NOT like it.  Maybe we just weren't in the right frame of mind.  There were funny bits, but trying to find a movie that is acceptable to the entire fam is a struggle.  Most movies are too racy and we don't let the younger kids watch that stuff.  Hell, Coach hates when the college kids watch that stuff.  Curly laughed more than anyone, but even she was like 'this is dumb.' 

I tend to be a little more lenient, or at the very least a little forgetful about the few 'need-to-fast forward' scenes.  Coach tends to be more like his folks.  People have I told you that while we were dating AFTER COLLEGE we told his folks that we saw the Lion King like 18 times.  No exaggeration.  

The movie was not quiet over, but the kids were begging us to put us out of their misery and turn it off.  Coach was asleep on the floor.  I fumbled around with the dishwasher and stumbled up to bed.  I had texted the kids from my prison sentence in the car on my way home from New York where my knees were in lock-down and asked them to all work together to just vacuum the upstairs.   

In addition, Ed had to clean up his and Lad's room and pack up stuff he someday wants to take with him but isn't interested in taking to college.  This is in case we change kids' bedrooms around at some point.

He misunderstood the point of the exercise and tossed stuff he didn't want on my bed.  So that was a fun reality to deal with.  His high school graduation mortar board and tassel and cords were on my bed.  There was also a random pillow.  It did not have a pillowcase on it. 

Initially I thought it was one of my pillows, that the case had just come off.  Wait for it:  COACH HAS A FEAR OF PILLOWCASE-LESS PILLOWS.  True. 

Eddie's high school cords and ribbons and
 stuff.  And on the left, you guessed
 it that horrifying pillow.

I sleep with 3 pillows.  Two under my head and one under my arm.  If, God forbid, one of my pillowcases or shams wiggles part way down on my pillow and my naked pillow threatens Coach's personal space, then he has a moment.  "Get this out of here!  Don't let it touch my pillow!" 

I do not wipe my ass with my pillow.  I just don't get it.  I assume that anything living on a pillow like bacteria, can find its way to the actual pillowcase eventually.  I wash pillowcases and sheets regularly.  Pillows less regularly, but guess what - the pillows are getting washed today.  I would prefer that Coach head up this initiative since he has the pillow phobia, but I think that is unlikely.  

So, this pillow (that it turns out was extra in Ed and Lad's room) was tossed HAPHAZARDLY on our bed.  Coach wigged out.  I shook the pillow at him along with some accompanying 'scary' sounds, thinking it was one of my pillows AND thinking he would laugh.  I do not have cooties and my pillows do not double as substitute toiletries items even during this time of toilet paper shortages.  

I was like WHAT THE HELL, IT IS JUST A PILLOW?! 

My aggressive action infuriated Coach.  He still isn't speaking to me right now -  the next morning.  I must apologize and I guess be more sensitive to his fear of pillows.  

I guess if things get really boring during this our close, unwelcome, family time, we can always revert to pillow fights.  I have a feeling I know who would lose. 

What have you got people?  Anything that sets your spouse off that you cannot wrap your brain around?